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Location: I.R.I.S.S. Szuras, Orbiting Kozpont

Status: Awaiting Resupply, Holding Position Until Medical Personnel Authorize Augmentation Completion.

  She felt her own breath before anything. Before she could open her eyes, before she could sit up to look around, before she could open her mouth. She felt her breath. It was… strange. Like it was being done to her, like bellows sat in her chest and someone was filling and emptying them in perfect, almost mechanical rhythm. It was so strange, she thought she should open her eyes and look. Everything was dark with them closed. But, when she opened them, things were still dark… 

  There was a muffled beeping filling the room too. She didn’t quite understand that. In fact, there was a lot of beeping in the room. That was strange. Beeps usually had lights, or screens. Oh, her face was covered. That’s what it was, she noticed, her face was covered by… something. And, there was something in her mouth, now that she thought about it. She couldn’t close her mouth, and there was a big… rubber… tube, of some sort. She tried tilting her head to the side, and- nope the mask was still there. Tube just followed her.

  “Oh-one-seven, Rozsa, you with us?”

  Well that was strange. Other people were in the room, it sounded like. She wondered why they weren’t helping her get this hose out of her mouth, it wasn’t very comfortable. Or why no one seemed to be doing anything for her. Maybe they just didn’t notice her. She tried to make noise, but all that came out was this… strange, gurgling noise. That wouldn’t do. If she could just sit up, she could get rid of this hose and get these people’s attention.

  “Hayley, page Erlen, his project’s live.”

  She heard the sound of pattering footsteps. They sounded pretty close. These people must be blind. And deaf. Oh well, she could get this off herself.

  She reached up- no, she tried to reach up but, she… couldn’t? Every time she did, her arm only moved a bit, and there was this deafening clanging of metal on metal. She could feel the resistance in her shoulder. She was… restrained? No, this wasn’t right. She didn’t even know why she was here, and certainly if she was restrained she’d know that. No, this was wrong. She started to feel… something. Like she wanted to run, and scream, and tear this hose out. Yes, that’s what she needed.

  “Erlen, do you copy? Adrenaline levels are spiking, biomonitors are picking up- yes… yes copy, understood.”

  She heard the noise of a man picking something up off a table, the gentle noise of something small being moved. Wait, were they talking about her? Did he know she had a tube in her mouth and that she was restrained? Why wasn’t he-

  She felt a hand over her face, something slipped under the mask and prodded behind her ear, and then she got really calm, and then cold, and then everything went dark.

  There was more beeping now. And she felt her breath again. But this time her eyes really hurt and it was really bright, and her head was sore, and she must have been laying down before, because she felt like she was upright this time. She couldn’t really place why. She tried to open her eyes again, and strained against the blinding light. On instinct, she lifted her hands to shield herself, and found she was no longer restrained. It took a moment, but her eyes started to adjust, and once they did, they did so fast. She finally started to get some details out of her surroundings, and herself. Her hands were… different. She’d been expecting flesh, meat, but as she focused, she just noticed more and more of the intricacies of how the metal tried to hide under skin. Most of the back of her hands, her palms, the pads of her fingers, all were wrapped in what looked like skin, but it… it wasn’t. She would’ve been able to feel it if it was skin, but she couldn’t feel it.

  Her forearms heavily did away with the illusion, and looked more like machine than even the facade of flesh. It was unsettling. Especially when it switched back just above the elbow, under her biceps, to such an extent that she couldn’t tell if it was still natural or an implant. She couldn’t tell where it stopped. She couldn’t really feel her forearms, or her biceps, or her elbows. That was weird, right? But, everything was there, and everything was working. So, surely it couldn’t be too much of an issue. 

  As she tried to lean forward, she found that her head was stuck. Or, that something was holding it in place. But not in the way that restraints did, more like something had its fingers hooked into her, like she was dangling off a coat rack. She groaned, and the noise surprised her. It was unobstructed, but there was a hollowness to it. Or perhaps a tinge of some sort. The sort of undertone sound carries after echoing off metal. She still couldn’t fully move her head, so she brought her hand to her throat. She again felt that facade of skin, interrupted briefly by synthetic ridges and semi-metallic linings. 

  “Good morning, sunshine.” 

  A man’s voice. It made her jump in her seat, her head the only part of herself not moving. 

  “It’s just me, sorry. I didn’t want to startle you by showing up unannounced, but it seems I did just that anyways.” He strode into her field of vision, from the lighter, left side of the room. Nice pants, nice shirt, long white coat draped over his arm. Wrinkled. It had been worn already, which meant he took it off before coming in. Doctor? Researcher? Intellectual. Important.

  Why was she thinking like that?

  “Do you… remember me?”

  She didn’t.

  “It’s okay to say no, some temporary amnesia is to be expected. It’ll clear up. Maybe a reintroduction?”

  She tried to nod. Her head wouldn’t budge. She tried to speak, and her throat was bone dry. What escaped was a cracking, parched, quiet, “yes”.

  The man smiled. “I am Doctor Erlen Ibarres. I have been your consultant through this whole process. I’ve been responsible for informing you about the process of augmentation as well as overseeing the actual procedures, and I am also the one who is now responsible for making sure you have an expeditious and comfortable recovery. I’m almost hurt you don’t remember me,” he chuckled. 

  When she made no response, he spoke again. “Introductions usually aren’t so one-sided. Please, go ahead. I won’t interrupt.” There was a long pause as she felt her vision tunnel, her mind wandering to the question that had been stewing around in her head since she came to. 

  “Do you… remember your name?”

  who am i?

  Dr. Ibarres sat himself on the one other chair in the room. He tapped a spot behind his ear, and then she watched his demeanor change. The tiniest amount. She could feel him shift. 

  “Do you remember your name?”

  “no”

  “Do you remember your birthday?”

  “no”

  “Hm…” he tapped his chin, quiet for a moment. “Do you remember how to tie shoes?”

  “…what?”

  “Well, that’s not a ‘no’.” He reached down to his shoe and undid his laces before removing it entirely and handing it to her. “Here. See if you can tie these again.”

  “Tie them how?”

  “Just, go with it.” He said, leaning back and motioning to the shoe. “See where it takes you, follow your instincts.”

  She held it in front of herself and looked at it for a moment. 

  tie the laces?

  She held one in each hand. No, that wasn’t right. Each one between two fingers. Then, right then one over and under the other, then you make a loop with one and wrap the other around and pull it through-

  “…fascinating.” Ibarres mumbled.

  She looked up at him, eyes wide. Then back down. Yes, it looked tied. She looked at his other shoe and, yes, it was identical. 

  “Excellent, perfectly done. I’ll take my shoe back if you don’t mind, now.” He held out his hand, a smile perched happily across his lips. She handed it back and watched him quickly slip into it.

  “that was stupid.”

  “…Pardon?” Ibarres seemed perplexed, and he sat up to face her, adjusting his foot idly while he watched her.

  “You don’t even need the laces tied, you didn’t tie it again when you put it on. there wasn’t any point to me doing that, it was stupid.”

  “Hm. Maybe, I suppose maybe it was. Well, I apologize for wasting your time. Would you like me to tell you your name?”

  stupid question.

  “yes.” 

  “Rozsa.”

  “No.”

  Ibarres’ eyebrow twitched. That surprised him. “…no?”

  “No. That’s not right. That doesn’t feel like my name.”

  “Hm… maybe you’re thinking surname. Levetette.”

  “No. No, that’s not right either.”

  Ibarres wasn’t smiling anymore. “Well, if you’d prefer, I can just keep calling you by your patient designation.” Their eyes met, she looked at him expectantly. “017.”

  oh-one-seven

  A long pause, then she spoke.  “…that’s fine.”

  “Well, certainly a bit out of the ordinary, but you’re an out-of-the-ordinary girl, aren’t you? Fitting.” He was smiling again. “Well, 017, maybe you’d like to read through your files while you orient yourself? Lots of notes about who you are, might help jog that memory a bit.” 

  “…yes.” 

  “Alright, 017, let me grab that and I’ll be back in a second.”

  It did only take the doctor a moment to fetch the tablet he used to view her files, but it took her significantly longer to go through them. There was a full psychological evaluation, along with detailed records of tests performed on nearly every single organ and organ system in her body. Everything had been measured and monitored and remeasured and tested and re-remeasured more times than she could count over a two month period. Which seemed short, at first glance. 

  However, as she thumbed through the various interviews, sometimes hours a day of footage, she realized she would need to skim it for now and watch the rest in her personal time. The thought occurred to her, 

  Will I get much personal time?

  Switching her gaze from the gadget to Ibarres, she spoke. “I’d like to keep this. There’s too much to watch it all right now.”

  “I’ll have everything copied onto a tablet you can keep. That one’s where i keep everything i need for my work.”

  “Ah. Of course.” She acquiesced and handed the device back. There was no doubt about it. She was that girl. She was “Rozsa”, by all technicalities. But it didn’t feel right. The girl in every description, every section of interview she watched, seemed confident, capable, collected… cool. For lack of better language, 017 felt a draw to her, an envy, perhaps. Or the familiar pull of someone you used to know. An idea of someone. As if it bubbled under the surface of 017’s psyche, reaching out to grasp the memory’s hand and suddenly resurface.

  “You look troubled, 017. Was that upsetting?”

  Her eyes darted to meet his. “No. Or, well- no. No, it wasn’t…”

  Ibarres stared at her and cocked an eyebrow.

  “Okay, yes, sort of. I think. It’s not me. But it feels like I knew her. Like she was a friend. But that is me. It just doesn’t… I don’t know.”

  “It’s okay, 017. So, did you see in your records that you’re designated as ‘fifth-generation’?”

  “Obviously.”

  “…Well, that refers to the type of procedures used in your augmentation.” 017 stared at Ibarres expectantly. “Fifth-generation procedures had lower fatality rates than its predecessors, but there were more undesirable side effects. Memory-loss is among them.”

  “Will I get my memory back?”

  Ibarres sighed. “It’s possible, but… unlikely. You knew- or, well, Rozsa, knew the risks of the procedure. Part of the reason we’re so thorough in our interviewing before-“

  “What happens if it does come back?” 

  Distracted from his previous train of thought, Ibarres stuttered. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean i’m not her but, I am. So if she comes back, do i just turn into her? Am i already her? Do I-“

  “017, please.” Ibarres gestured her to calm herself. “If your memory returns, you would likely just wake up one morning or be sat the cafeteria and have a little revelation as it all comes back to you. Of course you’re still you, even if ‘you’ is a bit different than it was before the augments. You’d be what you are now, with everything else adding itself into the puzzle.” Ibarres looked at 017, who’s eyes had fallen to the floor, swallowed up in her own thoughts. “Is that a satisfactory answer?”

  “It’s fine.” 

  It wasn’t. 017 was feeling… weird. Numb, except she could feel everything. And it was definitely too much. There was a pounding in her head. And her breath was too short. And her mind was racing. 

  Ibarres’ tablet lit up, and his eyes darted down to it. He muttered something under his breath, then turned. “017, hey, focus here.” He pointed to himself. She noticed the immediate change in his behavior. He was breathing differently. Deeper, longer breaths, exaggerated, even. As if he wanted her to notice. She looked him in the eyes. “That’s it. You’re panicking a bit, I need to ask you to try and center yourself, bring your mind back here, to this room.” His speech was slower, softer - no, smoother. His arms were out wide. Like he wanted a hug. He looked… disgusting. 

  why am i thinking that?

  “017, if you need the help, I can give you something to help you calm down. I need you to try and bring yourself back to right now, right here, your mind in your body-“

  my body

  Ibarres kept talking, but 017 couldn’t hear him. 

  this isn’t my body this isn’t this isn’t right why don’t i remember my fucking name this is mine this should be mine this-

  She felt a wave of calm rush over her. Spreading from her chest up into her neck, then her skull, meanwhile working its way down through her abdomen, into her legs, down to her feet.

  As if she could suddenly see again after being blinded, she blinked twice, and sunk into her chair. Ibarres was talking to her. She could hear his words, but it was just… noise. It started to come into focus as her mind began slowing down. He was touching her. Her wrists. And she could immediately tell why. Her fingers were hooked under her “skin” which had been haphazardly torn open and spread apart. It looked like she was trying to get to the wiring in her wrist. And there was a… beeping. And flashing, in the corner of her vision.

  Ibarres was asking her to let go of herself, to speak to him. His hands were gently prying at hers, trying to get her out from her delicate innards. She let go, and her hand fell limply to her side. Ibarres sighed.

  The blinking and beeping were getting really annoying. As her vision refocused, and she came out of the tunnel, she could see a warning… in her eye. When she turned her head to look at it, it moved with her, so it was always in her periphery. It made it very hard to focus on it. But, it was in her eye. There were augments inside her eyes. Or, maybe, maybe they scooped her eyes out entirely. And put in two fakes. That would be funny. And awful.

  Who’s body was this, at this point? What was left of Rozsa? Just a name, and a face, it felt like. Why was that? Why wasn’t she Rozsa? Why didn’t she instinctually feel like who he said she was? Who she is?Her lips seemed to move on their own. “I’m really tired, Doctor Ibarres.” Her eyes started to feel heavy. He nodded and said she could rest. Which was good, she planned to regardless. 

  “Turn the beeping off…” she instructed, as she closed her eyes. She didn’t bother listening to what he said. The second she had silence, she fell into sleep headfirst. 

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