Why...? Why did I do it...?

If only...

If only I hadn't...

Was it the right thing...?

It was the right thing, wasn't it...?

♨

From the beginning of my student life, I realized the existence of an unbreakable stupid system. Although it might seem unreasonable, ignoring it could turn the school into the worst of hell.

I'm not saying that this stupid system is invulnerable. Even though it was created by the students, its own superficiality was so extreme that I managed to take advantage of its own rules.

And, although I'm not proud of my past actions, in those dark times, I was forced to do the unthinkable to protect myself.

If I achieved a perfect performance, if I simulated a behavior that deceived the system, maybe, just maybe, I would escape being a social outcast.

If that's the case, then... What went wrong with me?

A few years ago, when I entered Tsukiyou School, I pretended to create a false mask with the purpose of imitating a standout student for the system.

Someone athletic and intelligent, who wasn't just good at sports, but whose popularity extended enough to become the school idol.

With that personality exposed, no one would suspect my true self.

I would enjoy my hobbies freely.

During that time, I lived my days at the peak of popularity, but the constant change of personality caused me to wear down both physically and mentally.

Until I created a crack in the interior of my mask.

At that time, I was relaxing in the classroom, resting my arms on my desk next to the window.

It was during that moment that I heard some murmurs in front of me.

"Hey! What the hell?! Did that happen?!".

"Yeah, I'm sure. It seems the class delegate caught one of the girls with an erotic magazine! Everyone is gathering in the backyard right now".

"Wh-What? Are you serious? So, does Akagi want to make a public humiliation?! That sounds like something anyone would want to see!".

"...No way".

Although I tried to remain silent, my thoughts came out aloud.

The students who were talking turned to look at me.

"Did you say something, Kiryu?" one of them asked.

"No, sorry. I didn't express anything relevant. I was just mumbling".

"Ah... We were planning to meet up with the others, do you want to come with us?".

"Sure. Why not?".

With that, I followed the guys to the back patio of the school. It was there that I saw a large crowd of spectators gathered.

Then, I witnessed another scene of this stupid system.

"So... You're used to bringing this kind of thing to school, aren't you, Kohara-san?" asked the delegate Akagi, who was holding an erotic manga.

Those surrounding them laughed.

It seemed that most of the students loved taking advantage of others' suffering. Even some students called others to record everything with their smartphones.

I hate being part of this.

"Why are you so mean to me, Akagi?!" shouted the black-hooded girl, who was the victim behind the commotion. "I thought we were friends! Give it back, idiot!".

"What?! Do you think I'd be friends with a freak like you?! No one would be stupid enough to be friends with a pathetic otaku. Just look at yourself in the mirror, Kohara. None of the ones who claim to be your friends are here to support you".

Kohara lowered her gaze at Akagi's words.

Even though she tried to hide it, a few simple words had shattered her will.

Kohara stood there, surrounded by spectators murmuring horrible things. I couldn't imagine what she must have been feeling at that moment.

But even with all this, that scene was like students turning into crows about to feast on a wounded little animal.

"So, eroKohara-san... Do you really want this stupid erotic book?" asked Akagi while waving the manga. "I'll give it back to you if you beg on your knees while saying you're a stupid pervert, okay?".

Kohara lowered her head even more. She seemed to tremble as she bent her body to kneel.

"Please, delegate Akagi. Could you give it back to me...? I... I'm a stupid pervert...".

Akagi interrupted Kohara as she approached her.

"Did you all see that? Did you manage to record the obsessive, inept Kohara kneeling down? Now it's clear that she's the only idiot who would do anything for a stupid erotic book".

When Akagi finished saying this, she bent down to pull Kohara by her hair.

I'm not sure if it was out of helplessness or to drown out the horrible feeling of being a spectator, but without a second thought, I pushed through the crowd.

I stopped Akagi by the arm before she could succeed.

Everyone was surprised to see me obstructing the harassment towards Kohara.

Some comments were heard.

"Eh...? Isn't that Kiryu Reiya...?".

"Why would a guy like him stop the delegate...?".

"Maybe he defended the pathetic Kohara because they have some kind of relationship?".

"With that otaku? That's unthinkable!".

"Yeah, don't say those stupid things".

The comments stopped when Akagi let go of me.

"What do you want now, Kiryu?" questioned the delegate, dropping Kohara's manga.

"I don't really want anything. I just intend for you to stop, Akagi," I replied as I picked up the manga and offered my hand to Kohara to helpher up.

I took a breath before continuing with my speech.

"Until today, I wondered... Why people like you used their position to treat others like garbage? But today, I found the answer," I said as I looked at all the students surrounding us. "You... No... Each and every one of you, all the spectators, are just parasites who use others' suffering to hide their own fragility".

When I uttered those words, there was silence for a few seconds.

All eyes were on me.

"Does he really think that of us?".

"Did he say that to back up Kohara? How pathetic!".

"Could it be that Kiryu is really dating that disgusting otaku?".

"If he's involved with someone like her, then Kiryu must be just as pitiful".

The comments continued to echo among the crowd.

Akagi showed a smile upon hearing them.

"Ah... now I understand. Kiryu, you're just like Kohara-san, aren't you?".

When Akagi threw me that question, the others' gazes returned to me.

Although I tried to answer, I couldn't do it.

What I was trying to avoid in the beginning became reality.

My efforts were in vain. Even though I thought I was doing the right thing, a scenario like this tore apart the small crack in my mask.

This is my end...

They... They will never stop.

I... I'm finished.

My thoughts intensified to the point where my world began to crumble. It was like a broken mirror revealing my secret to the light.

Why did I have to do it...?

In a blink of an eye, everyone who was looking at me vanished, turning my surroundings into darkness.

Then, I heard my name several times.

"Reiya... Reiya..."

I opened my eyes at that moment, but my vision remained somewhat blurry for a few seconds. It seems my memories were just the product of a nightmare.

At that moment, my sister's voice was heard from the dining room.

"Reiya... Reiya... It's time to wake up, you have your first day of classes...".

Upon hearing my sister, I immediately got out of bed.

Although I was a bit groggy, I took a quick shower, dressed in my uniform, and went downstairs.

Before I knew it, I was in the dining room, standing in front of a smiling Ryoko-nee who was ready for breakfast.

My sister Ryoko was wearing a white blouse, a gray sweater, a black skirt complemented with stockings of the same color.

♨

"Well, Reiya... Have you managed to make any friends in these past few weeks?" she said, crossing her arms on the table.

"I don't understand why you always ask me the same question, Ryoko-nee. Since the incident with Aoki, I haven't had any contact with other people. Can't you accept that I won't make friends ever again?".

"Same question, same answer. Your speech is always the same, little brother. I really want to see progress in you, but you haven't left the house in these past months. Did it really affect you that much that girl ended your friendship?"

"I guess you're right. Aoki was my last male friend... Or should I say, female friend? I really don't know how to take it. But in any case, Aoki was my last friendship."

"And there you go again. Getting depressed over someone who rejected your friendship as if it meant nothing. Are you sure you can't make new friends? You have a fresh start this year, couldn't you make a friend or two?"

"Ryoko-nee, you know it's not that simple. I don't have things in common with others. I'm more of a homebody than wasting my time at gatherings or parties."

"And that's the darn problem, little brother."

Even when she said that, Ryoko-nee didn't seem to understand me.

She never could.

She's the living image of a compassionate person combined with the sweetness of an older sister.

Even though she's twenty-four, she has stunning silver hair that gracefully descends over her waist. She also has beautiful celestial eyes that exude elegance and maturity.

Those lovely eyes, which at the same time possess great insight into life itself, exhibit a maternal glow that feels enchanting.

My sister is also acclaimed in her work. Ryoko-nee is intelligent and beautiful, many people rely on her, so it's unlikely she could comprehend what I feel.

Compared to me, I'm just a closet otaku who was bullied until the end of high school.

Even though I had done the impossible to become the school's idol, it all ended when they found out I was a fraud.

Adding to the harassment I received, playing Dungeon Valkyrie with Hitori was my only escape, but our three years of friendship were just a game for her.

Even so, I thought I could keep going if Hitori was by my side, but she ended up abandoning me at the end of the first year of high school.

As if that weren't enough, after that problem, I also met Aoki, but I lost her friendship a few months ago for lying to her about my true identity.

Although that doesn't matter now.

I'm not interested in becoming friends with anyone. I won't worry about anyone ever again, nor will I be sincere with people who are part of that stupid system.

When the thing with Aoki happened, I had to make an effort to get rid of everything that once made me miserable.

My video game consoles, anime, manga, light novels, collectible figures, and anything else otaku-related, my dark past was sealed inside the safe under my wardrobe.

During those four months, I trained my mind and prepared a new mask for this new me.

I started exercising and took care of my diet properly, at the same time, I practiced my acting and switched my glasses for contact lenses.

I did everything to avoid living the same hell.

But this time I will do it without mistakes.

I won't let anyone discover my secret, my new self will be able to do anything, and I'll return to being the top rung of the popularity ladder.

Even though I say this... If others found out that I pretend to look like a normal person, they would surely bully me again like in the past.

That's why I must be careful.

Being bullied, my sisters decided to move us away from my old school, so I haven't had any connection with the outside world since then.

"Even if I try, I can't make friends..."

"That's what you've been saying. You know... this is a fresh start. It's your first year, a new beginning for you. If you keep thinking about staying at home, it's going to be hard."

With that, Ryoko-nee got up from the table and handed me my lunch.

"Listen, Reiya. I think I've been harsh on you, but you have nothing to worry about. I'm sure you'll find someone who accepts you just the way you are. Wouldn't it be nice if you gave yourself a chance too?"

When I heard my older sister's words, I tried to hug her, but she held me back before I could.

"No, no hugs. You'll do that when you get at least one friend. Now you have to go," she said, opening the door.

With that, Ryoko-nee pushed me out of the house, and I walked to the nearest bus stop, where I took the bus to my first day of high school.