112AG (After Genesis)
Genesis was created when war threatened to destroy the world of Atlantia however after 112 years it has truly become a second world.
The Elves and Draconian used their magic to create Genesis a world encompassing spell while the Dwarves and Gnomes used their technology expertise to create the access bands.
Years later Genesis is so integral to Atlantia that they are politically and financially linked.
Everyone Joins Genesis when they reach there race’s adulthood and look forward to adventure in another world.
Except John who is working hard just to earn enough to eat, he does not have enough time to play Genesis.
Join John as he escapes his life in the slums and learn with him about Genesis his what the future holds in both worlds.
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Story will hopefully be set half in the real world Atlanta and half in Genesis.
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1500 words minimum from chapter 51 onward.
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Chapter with R18 Romance Scenes will have a warning at the start as will Polyamory scenes for those who are not interested in that.
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This is my first novel and I’m just writing something I find enjoyable, I hope you do also though if not I wish you luck in finding something you do.
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Up to 30 advanced chapters for Patreon members.
Honestly a joy to read. I'm a big fan of the style of the writing, being mainly dialog-based instead of over use of internal monologues. The plot is setup very quickly purposely, then slowly revealed which makes the starting chapters feel lighter then later when stuff starts being explained more.
I do love how the in-game world resembles a certain game (I assume as a kind of homage) and then quickly starts diverging into very cool and different ways.
There are a lot of characters to keep track of which means you don't get too deep into each but I look forward to how the author is going to flesh out and develop the main characters. There is a lot of potential here.
There are parts where the formatting (especially the looting and logs) is annoying and could be compressed... but that is a small gripe.
Overall really looking forward to new chapters. Happy that I stumbled on this and got a chance to read.
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1/5 rating 16 chapters
This work is not well written enough for me to read it further. A whole list of problems: the quality of the text, the questionable structure of the world, the character of the protagonist, the intelligence of the characters, the author's attitude to the work. Of the positive aspects, only the genre is for an amateur. Overall, a dead end. The author clearly needs to think more about what he writes, or just have more personal experience.
The text looks like the first version of what was written, without any editing except for spelling. There is too much fluff, empty parts that do not make sense, repetitions, misleading information. 16 chapters - an introduction, a scene of bullying, and 10 chapters of empty talk. All this could be reduced to chapters 8-10, if 1-2 edits were made for meaninglessness or the style / format / point of view of the text were changed.
The protagonist looks like a child of 14-16 years old in a state of apathy. Outbursts of anger, indifference to the future, ignoring authoritarian personalities, toxicity, valshiy politeness. This would make sense if the author was trying to create exactly this kind of protagonist, but he is trying to create: smart, calm, beautiful, charming. As a result, the author overdid it with the aura of the protagonist's uniqueness, bringing it to a clearly false absurdity. And all in vain, since the protagonist remains a teenager on hormones and can still be expressed in two sentences: Life is sh*t. So why cling to it?
The author also apparently is not very familiar with the concept of slums, dead animals, the smell of carrion/garbage in the heat, or even just the smell of sweat after a whole day of work on a construction site. And also the reaction of people and especially women to all this. No one will care about any beauty next to such a smell, unless you have not gotten used to it for at least days. Also, people usually avoid food/drinks after seeing the unsanitary conditions in which these food/drinks were prepared.
Over the last 10 chapters, the protagonist has conveyed to those around him a couple dozen times that he doesn't care about humanity using a variety of phrases, and he said this to the same group. Although this is obviously nothing more than pathetic statements, he doesn't care about his own future, but not humanity. And there is so much of this meaningless and even illogical pathos that you can only twitch an eyebrow at these scenes. "I'm cool, I don't care about humanity. Why? Because in 3 months I will have nothing to eat and I will die, but I don't care and I'm not trying to change it." And what's the point of talking about indifference to humanity if you don't care about your life and death.
Honestly, a real ruler would just look at this idiot and say "And what are you trying to achieve with all this?" Yes, they were wrong, their race will be punished for it. But this is not a reason to destroy the image, so that later because of its loss there will be even more problems than from this idiot. Especially for the sake of such an idiot who is either unable to control his behavior, or behaves like a fool, or a vile manipulator.
There are also clear signs that the author does not know how to write smart characters (or at least those who are supposed to be smart). He tries, but they look so fake... Especially when they admire a random guy using a normal logical chain. Along with this, there are artificially stupid characters who look like they just stepped out of the pages of a story about stupid cultivators.
The structure of the world as a whole also raises many doubts. But the future plot may clarify them or, on the contrary, prove that they are not groundless.
Finally, there is the fact that the author releases unformatted chapters. I don't feel that the work will change dramatically in the future and suddenly become worthy. With the author's skills and character, he will need to write at least 1-2 more works of 500 thousand words so that his new works can be worthy of an experienced reader.
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I must say, the first few chapter I wos not convinced but after continuing a little I must say that I really enjoy this story. So I would recomend that if this story catches your interest, give it a try some chapters, not stoping at the very begining.
This is my personal opinion, if after a few chapter in its still not your thing, you do yours.
Sweeper thanks for sharing!! I really like your story!!
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Super generic and bland, writing is stale and monotone. Super virtual world made with help of magic, govern by all powerfull AI but system and mechanics of this VR game is worse than 30 years old RPGs, just read a "Loot" chapter (chapter have no numbers) and you will know what you get from this novel
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