Adeline was a good-for-nothing gangster who spent most of her life hurting others. After her death, she finds herself reborn as a low-level demon in another world. She faces new challenges, hardships, and experiences. Perhaps this could be a second chance to right her wrongs, or will she fall back to her old ways? In this thrilling journey of life and death, where fate is blind and only pure will prevails.
I just read the previous review and thought I could add to that, I do like the story it is very well written. I do especially like the fight scenes, very gritty and gorey. It is a different twist on the monsters vs humans with these ones seemingly more docile compared to other depictions. On the character side though rapid we can see the fMC slowly change thou we have little to compare to. Overall I look forward to the next chapters
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First of all I really liked the premise of your story but I see a problem at the moment not necessarily huge but noticable. I binged the whole thing right now and noticed that instead of the characters pushing the story the story pushes the characters. Through that you feel at moments that character actions feel unfounded and maybe even out of character. Examples for that would be the revelation of the goddess's blessing how Melora just trusted her or the Queen trusted Melora. The trials and especially the sharing of them is also a prime example that the story drives the characters - its too sudden and makes no sense if you analyze their characteristics not to forget that both of them past it way too quickly and without visible struggle. Your story needed for them to cooperate so it happened without much of a conflict distrust or resistance wich let's your characters feel plain and one-dimensional thus making character growth feel undeserving or abrupt. One dimensional characters aren't bad and are often used for most hero stories but at the point where you introduce trauma or similar as a key aspect of your MC you need a fully fledged out (three-dimensional) character and actively pushes the plot and not vise versa. Hope this is helpful feedback for you
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The artwork is completely raw. It should have detailed descriptions of scenes, environments and characters. For now, it's a skeleton, although the idea is interesting.
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