I write this review as the author is a friend who wanted to test their skill, and I promised to write a review.... and only now do I get around to reading it and posting this, despite the story's short length. Mea culpa.
As I said, it is short, so it is not as if there is a huge amount to leave a review on. I do note that there are multiple typos and points where I question the punctuation, but it was written rather quickly, without much time for edits, and on the whole I do not judge the story on that basis.
The short story itself is a record of a battle. I believe that, on the whole, it does fairly well, with one major disjunction - that between the structure of the battle record and its narrator, an army commander. Having a narrator means there is a person, through whom we are seeing the events as they are discussed. However, there is not much of a character per se, leaving it as simply the narrator, which throws me personally a bit off balance. Consequently, this relatively small narratorial voice feels weak and out of place amongst the much larger amount of the movements of battle recorded.
I believe I spent far too long on what I thought could need improvement. As for what I like, the quote for a start gives a good central theme that is stuck with throughout the events of the story. Highly approved. Also approved is the exposition of the events of the story, alongside the manoeuvers of battle, though I am hardly an expert in that area. The to-and-fros and tensions of the battle are also conveyed and much appreciated - a positive aspect brought out largely by the narratorial voice mentioned above. All in all, hardly a bad start, and the author should not think worse of herself for writing it.
© 2024 Scribble Hub
I write this review as the author is a friend who wanted to test their skill, and I promised to write a review.... and only now do I get around to reading it and posting this, despite the story's short length. Mea culpa.
As I said, it is short, so it is not as if there is a huge amount to leave a review on. I do note that there are multiple typos and points where I question the punctuation, but it was written rather quickly, without much time for edits, and on the whole I do not judge the story on that basis.
The short story itself is a record of a battle. I believe that, on the whole, it does fairly well, with one major disjunction - that between the structure of the battle record and its narrator, an army commander. Having a narrator means there is a person, through whom we are seeing the events as they are discussed. However, there is not much of a character per se, leaving it as simply the narrator, which throws me personally a bit off balance. Consequently, this relatively small narratorial voice feels weak and out of place amongst the much larger amount of the movements of battle recorded.
I believe I spent far too long on what I thought could need improvement. As for what I like, the quote for a start gives a good central theme that is stuck with throughout the events of the story. Highly approved. Also approved is the exposition of the events of the story, alongside the manoeuvers of battle, though I am hardly an expert in that area. The to-and-fros and tensions of the battle are also conveyed and much appreciated - a positive aspect brought out largely by the narratorial voice mentioned above. All in all, hardly a bad start, and the author should not think worse of herself for writing it.
Read More