By SimplyOverthinking
After being poorly summoned to a Fantasy world and ending up being dumped in the middle of nowhere rather than being brought to the summoning circle of the Hero, Korey wants nothing more than to transform into something they never felt like they c
So, this story is about Ethan, a teenager with gender dysphoria who gets necklace that transforms him into Eri, a kitsune girl. Its basically wish-fulfillment ts fantasy. Done well, these kindof stories can be moving, cathartic, and surprisingly resonant. This one, unfortunately, mostly isn't.
My biggest issue is that the writing screams AI. Not because the ideas are bad, but because of a bunch of specific stylistic choices that are almost a fingerprint
Nearly every emotional beat is delivered as stacked one-line fragment. This is so relentlessly used that it doesn't function properly as emphasis anymore.
Show don't tell is completely ignored. We're constantly told Eri is feeling joy, wholeness, etc without ever earning those feelings through any sort of detail.
A few chapters in, almost nothing has happened. MC transforms, feels happy, turns back, feels sad, goes to school, survives, transforms again, feels happy. And does it over and over again. This repeats for a couple chapters with little variation.
Also the side characters Mia, Lily/Yui (whose name changes between chapters apparently), the parents, Alex, Becca, Liam, exist purely to deliver one-liners or a single moment of warmth, then disappear.
To be fair, the emotional core isn't nothing. The story is clearly about gender dysphoria, the relief of feeling right in one's body, and the exhaustion of performing an identity that doesn't fit. There are some scenes where you can at least tell the author had input with their own ideas
To elaborate on the ai point, the specific patterns I saw were repetitive triplet fragments, ellipsis as emotional shorthand, abstract feeling-labeling, near-total absence of specific sensory grounding, tonal inconsistency, repetitive scene structure, most of it is consistent with something an LLM would generate, with maybe some light edits or prompted chapter by chapter.
But, sven if it was AI-generated or assisted, the core is fine, the execution is the problem
Tldr; interesting premise, terrible writing
Read More
I have absolutely loved the emotional depictions of the main character. They resonate with me, and I eagerly refresh multiple times every night in hopes of getting into the chapter as soon as possible.
Read More