Well what can I say? I guess I can say it's good...

• It has basic understandable english grammar that tries some epic effect, though I often trip in some sentences (the problem maybe from me having a hard time understanding a specific english 'dialect' or the author tried do the 'epic english' effect)

• It manages to properly use the unreliable narrator
  Spoiler

  (by managing to drop hints at the story while twisting the POV)

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    Though from someone that reads lots of stories like 'these', I can roughly guess what will happen.

• It manages to simplify what most 'complex' stories do into two chapters. 

• Monologues. Yep, they exist. Though it is understandable considering the story is compressed into two chapters. (Solutions? The story can either be expanded into many chapters and have the tidbits of the twist be spread apart or do a mysterious effect, where the monologue part of it is removed if the 'clue' exist somewhere in the story so readers can find it)

Overall the story is complete, some bumps here and there but nothing that puts my head to hurt (I might have a high tolerance to stories so sensitive people may give lower scores...)

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