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/ Series / Clandestine Volume 1: Loyalty
Clandestine Volume 1: Loyalty
Clandestine Volume 1: Loyalty
403 Views 2 Favorites 2 Chapters 0 Chapters/Week 9 Readers
4.0 (4 ratings)
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Total Views (All): 403
Total Views (Chapters): 76
Average Views:38
Word Count:9,190
Average Words:4,595
Pages:34
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2 / 2 May 29, 2023
2 / 2 Apr 15, 2022
11 / 2 May 19, 2021
11 / 2 Mar 2, 2021
1 / 2 Feb 20, 2021
1 / 2 Feb 18, 2021
11 / 2 Feb 17, 2021
1 / 2 Feb 17, 2021
11 / 2 Feb 17, 2021
Table of Contents 2
Reviews 1
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    EternalSunset0
    Status: chapter 11: an unwelcome revelation and...

    Managed to binge everything in one go. 

    First off, I'd like to say that I generally enjoyed this story. From what I read in this volume, the characters have their own nice personalities, and I think that there's effort in trying to develop some of them. I think that they have fun dynamics as well.

    Kai and Kokona are really cute together. I felt that there could be more potential to show their warming up to each other or their chemistry as fellow magical people (for lack of better term), but I'm not sure if the author wanted to go for it this volume. Perhaps, those will get tackled in the future.

    That being said, I just felt that the volume is a bit too short. Things went by a bit too quickly for my liking, which is to be expected, given the word count. 

    I would not say that the characters acted in ways that made no sense, but the short length and the fast pace at how events happen could make it seem like everyone's acting impulsively.

    The plot is fine, but as I said, it moves a bit too quickly, then it just ends at chapter 11. I feel that it's supposed to be a climactic moment that sets forth the next arc (or the first one, because the whole volume felt like an extended prologue), then it just ends. It felt more like the volume just abruptly ended and kept me hanging, not in exactly the best way.

    I think part of that has to do with how some parts got narrated over, perhaps to quickly get the main story going. I typically don't mind that too much, but it can be a cause of concern for people more strict with letting the story develop naturally instead of telling the readers and "fast-forwarding" through less important scenes. Strict in a sense that it strongly affects their enjoyment.

    As for grammar and mechanics, the story's readable, and that's all that matters for me. There's nothing too distracting or immersion-breaking in terms of those, and I read the whole thing without noticing anything too wrong besides a missing punctuation mark here and there or some very minor errors in grammar.

    I personally love the setting and the archetypes/tropes used for the characters, so I thoroughly enjoyed the work. I hope that I did not come off as harsh with my criticisms on pacing because honestly speaking, as a series, Clandestine is something that I would eagerly read more of. 

    On a side note, it would also be great if there can be character art because I can just imagine Kai, Kokona, and Himari and read their lines with anime voices. Now, all that's needed is the art to finalize their designs.

    Overall, I enjoyed this, and it's something that I would not mind continuing.

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