Xuelan couldn't answer that question.
Due to her pride, she compulsively wanted to screw everything and spit in her ex-boyfriend’s face. However, the rational part of her brain was also aware of the gravity of his words. Kien was at a critical juncture. Deep down inside, Xuelan knew that the incubus hadn't yet lost all his morals or humanity. She recognized that he was trying — albeit struggling — but still trying to be a good person.
He had urges to do unthinkable sadistic things, but he was stopping himself from his worst impulses.
He still felt remorse, guilt, and responsibility.
If he gave up on morality, then Kien would truly degenerate into a fully-fledged demon. Animalistic by nature, the incubus would compulsively hunt and rape and torture and feed on indiscriminate victims until they either broke or died. There wouldn't be any restraint, and he'd eventually be no different from the zillions of other carnal monsters that were part of Hell's infernal landscape.
Not even considering her own fate... which would undoubtedly be miserable in that situation... this wasn't something that she could brush off lightly.
She couldn't respond to his question.
Xuelan looked down at her hands, and then slowly back up.
"Convince me." She suddenly said out of the blue.
Kien blinked.
"Convince you to what?"
"I want you to convince me to give you my consent."
The incubus stared at her.
"I don't trust you now. Consent is a feeling based on trust. I can't just suddenly decide to change how I feel about you. If you want me to trust you enough to submit to you, then earn it."
"You're willing to try trusting me again?" He looked incredulous.
"That depends on you."
Xuelan's eyes were narrow, dark, and gloomy.
"You know that I need sex in order to survive, Xue. I will need to take it from you whether you consent or not."
"Then take it from me. You own my body, and I can't stop you from raping me in the first place. I won't enjoy it, though."
"Why shouldn't I re-wire your brain and body so that you automatically enjoy everything I do to you?"
"I don't know. You tell me, Kien. Why haven't you done it already?"
The young woman's voice was blank and distant, almost as cold as ice.
Speaking about identity death was a grim subject. To some regard, the collar around her neck was like a figurative rope that was slowly strangling her. Xuelan was an individual. She was applying to medical school. She liked to write a little and she enjoyed the outdoors. She had always been an introvert, but she was independent. In the past, she often used to drive from UNLV1University of Nevada, Las Vegas to Zion National Park2Zion National Park: Located in Utah near the Grand Canyon, around 2.5 hours away from Las Vegas., where she'd spend a weekend sitting on a trail with a book open in her lap or reviewing her class notes over a lonely yet beautiful panorama of natural rock chasms.
What if all of that disappeared?
The incubus was silent as he stared at her.
Then he sighed and sat down on a chair.
"Come here." He said.
Xuelan looked at him. It wasn't an 【 Order 】 because she didn't feel herself being forced to move. He had spoken it like a command, but the current situation made it more like a request. He was giving her the opportunity to refuse, or to turn away from him if she wished.
She stared at him without moving for a while.
Then she slowly stood up and walked over to him.
She stopped in front of him.
"Kneel. And turn around."
She paused.
Xuelan recognized what he was trying to do.
She was familiar with this type of scene, and she had seen many Doms open with this type of pattern before. It was almost ironic. Kien was trying to roleplay BDSM. Xuelan was already cursed to be his eternal sex slave, and he could easily force her to do anything he desired. However, the incubus was almost pretending as if she could still refuse or tap-out with a safeword.
Everything was backwards.
It was horribly ironic.
She slowly knelt in front of him and hesitantly turned around.
She wondered if she should be regretting this.
"Give me your hands."
Xuelan took a deep breath. She knew perfectly well what was coming next.
The black-haired girl clasped her hands behind her back and looked away. Xuelan felt him winding the thorn-covered vine over her wrists, and the spiked pricks dug into her skin. The tips were pointy, but not sharp. They did not draw blood, and they felt more like plastic studs tightening around her flesh. Of course, it definitely hurt, but the pain was more akin to kneeling on grains of rice.
The pace of her breathing gradually grew shallower and tight.
It hurt.
"You're quite complacent about barbed rope, aren't you Xue? Normal people would definitely protest about this."
Xuelan didn't respond, and she only closed her eyes.
"These are the vines of the Weeping Bell plant, a carnivorous tentacle monster that can be found in the forests of Hell." Kien explained. "I've removed the spines and blunted the thorns, but ordinarily they're sharp enough to make someone bleed. As you might imagine, it's exquisitely painful to be caught by one, and they slowly constrict and suffocate their prey."
Xuelan stiffened.
She hadn't known that Kien had gone through the effort to soften each thorn of this sadistic length of rope.
The incubus suddenly pulled her underneath the table with a jerk.
She wobbled on her knees until she regained her balance. Already, they were starting to feel bruised on the rough wooden floor, but her attention was quickly drawn to the fact that her face was basically right in front of her ex-boyfriend's crotch. Xuelan was kneeling naked underneath the table with her wrists tied behind her back, and she could clearly see an enormous tent in his pants.
The message definitely couldn't be any clearer.
The incubus slowly stroked her hair.
"Open up for me, Xue," he said softly.
Xuelan felt very conflicted.
She felt a very warm and damp feeling in between her crotch, and it would be a lie to say that this didn't turn her on. Somehow, she suddenly hated how her body was naturally like this. Why couldn't she just be a normal person? Why was she aroused by the idea of being mistreated and hurt? Xuelan was only seven or eight years old when the notion of being tied up first enraptured her, and she hadn't even known that BDSM existed back then. In those years, she had been terribly confused about why she would ever want something that was so clearly bad for her.
Kien was right when he said that she was equally messed up as him.
In fact, this shared similarity was one of the main reasons why they had dated online six years ago. Even though they weren't in an actual D/s relationship, they used to send each other stories that they liked, and they wrote long rambling emails to each other about trivial stuff that happened during their day. Xuelan had known about his sick perversions, and likewise Kien had known about the rape fantasies that she liked to read.
Of course, fantasies were just fantasies. They were never supposed to become real.
Xuelan closed her eyes and slowly opened her mouth.
+ + +
Something soft went in between her lips.
It was a bit stale, and it began to dissolve on her tongue.
Xuelan snapped her eyes open in confusion, and she quickly realized that Kien's fingers had just slid inside her mouth.
He had fed her a piece of bread.
She closed her mouth around the bland chunk of starch, and the incubus withdrew his hand. He went to tear off another piece, and his other hand continued petting her hair.
"Eat." He said. "I might be a demon that feeds on sex, but you still need food to function."
The girl had a slightly incredulous look in her eyes, but the incubus continued to slip pieces of bread underneath the table.
His fingers were soft, and they floated near her lips ever time he fed her a piece. Closing her mouth over his fingertips was unavoidable, and there was multiple times when she inadvertently licked a bit of his fingers while taking a piece of bread into her mouth. The benign actions were suspiciously close to sucking on his fingers, which evoked a variety of complicated emotions in Xuelan's heart.
It was vaguely humiliating yet extremely gentle.
Kien's attention gradually drifted to other things atop the table, and he continued to feed her absentmindedly with his free hand. Xuelan heard the rustle of loose papers above her, and she chewed silently as she knelt between his legs.
His raging erection was right in front of her eyes, but he did absolutely nothing.
∎
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I'm a huge sadist! Votes: 17 7.4%
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I'm very sadistic Votes: 8 3.5%
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I'm fairly sadistic Votes: 30 13.0%
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I'm mildly sadistic Votes: 11 4.8%
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I'm equally sadistic and masochistic Votes: 42 18.3%
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I'm mildly masochistic Votes: 11 4.8%
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I'm fairly masochistic Votes: 19 8.3%
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I'm very masochistic Votes: 13 5.7%
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I'm a huge masochist! Votes: 11 4.8%
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I'd like BDSM, but I'm not really a sadist or a masochist Votes: 34 14.8%
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I'm not really into BDSM Votes: 18 7.8%
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I do not wish to respond Votes: 16 7.0%
My perspective is that if you do full non-con as the premise of the story, it wouldn't be as engaging for the reader. Most readers, myself included, enjoy a protagonist with a degree of autonomy and agency.
She's already enslaved to him for eternity, able to be bent to his whims by force without any methods to resist. This is already a massive restriction on her agency as a character, and taking it further with non-con is, in my opinion, unnecessary to achieve the desired plot and "plot" and instead would simply make character development feel forced or unnatural.
Give her reservations and hesitations. Give her some boundaries she will not cross and some terms that she will demand. Have her bargain for small freedoms in exchange for consenting to specific types of play. Having her as an active participant helps the reader get invested in both the story and the characters. Her telling him to "convince me" was a great first step toward exactly this! Keep it up!
She does not need to be rebellious or desperate to escape, but so long as she seems reasonable and consistent then it can be an enjoyable read. She also doesn't need to be a massive nymphomaniac or hardcore masochist. Thus far her representations have been a good middle ground that I think is perfect if it can be maintained, though I've seen a few hints that may lead to her being more extreme. I would just suggest that you take the long road before getting there, giving a sense of escalation over the course of the story. If she's suddenly a massive nymphomaniac and hardcore masochist in five chapters, where would she go after that? Take things slow!
For instance, the barbed rope. You had "The pace of her breathing grew shallower and faster" happen basically instantaneously (in my opinion a bit too soon). Something like, "she flinched as the blunted barbs pressed into her wrists, but otherwise forced herself to stay still as he bound her hands" for that line and move the breathing change a few lines lower, so it feels more like a slow buildup instead of an instant turn-on for her. Might just be me, but instantaneous arousal like that often feels weird.
I love this comment and thank you for your detailed feedback! It's really helpful!
I agree with you that the story would be really hard to write as 100% non-con... to be honest, I'm not sure how I would do it at all.
I like your advice about taking the long road. I'll keep that in mind! The barbed rope was sort of an instance of poor foresight and planning. I had Kien pick up in the previous chapter, and then needed something to tie the protagonist with... it was probably a bad choice for their first quasi-consensual scene together.
I meant the "pace of her breathing" to be an ambiguous indicator her reaction, like how some people's breathing patterns can change (in a non-erotic fashion) when in pain or in cold water. However, it seems like it was read primarily as arousal...
@minacia Glad the feedback is helpful!
Hope to see your story go far!
Oh come on people at least comment, we are all here because we like to read these things. Or write. Or both.
And people for God's sake remember sadistic isn't a psycho and I believe MOST of us don't get turned on tears of pain. Maybe tears of pleasure over the agony of edging? Yeah. That... perhaps.
Don't forget your safe words and respect your and your partner limits. Hugs and (for all of that want it...) Slaps.
There is something wrong with me, or I would obviously fall into hell for gluttony, bc I found this chapter the sexiest so far
Mmm bread.
Ok jokes aside, I think the cool parts are the mind games and mentality that goes back and forth. It's complicated. And that's life. So it's directly related and all about choices.
The polls asked about how far non-con it should get but I believe it would be best for you to write the story you see in your head and as you see fit. Keep it real (or as real as it gets in hell I suppose). Like she's into it, but not what it represents. Go ahead and bring those issues, that complication, and conflict in.
Maybe that's what I liked this chapter most so far.
Thank you for commenting! It means a lot! Also, I've always been meaning to read your stories but haven't gotten to it yet!
@minacia Ah man, no need.(idk who even reads my boring stuff) You do you and write our your worlds and stories as you see fit.
i am fine with being sadistic and masochistic but even i would not take it to far....
I very like idea of being unable to escape pleasure coming together with humiliation (no pain). Very sad that I'm male. Being a female is so much more fitting for this. I want to place myself in place of the girl, but it's kinda hard considering difference in gender.
In regards to that pol of yours, I have absolutely no idea...