Quaraun was trying to remember through the clouds of apricots that were fogging his brain. Part of him remembered the pleasure he’d felt when the Phooka had raped him and part of him was losing all of his memories of everything. BoomFuzzy was looking less Phooka and more Elf and the bloody mansion was looking more sugary and colourful, less bloody, more gingerbready. The big pine trees were melting away into pink fluffy cotton candy.

“We never gots to see ya up dis close before," BoomFuzzy said to Quaraun. "It twere sunset when we dids sees ya afore. Never dreamed ya’d be so pretty. Ya can’na knows ya do not likes somet’ing until ya has tried it. Ya should try sex. Ya’d like it.”

“But then I wouldn’t be a virgin,” Quaraun said.

“We simply must cure ya of dat horrible lifestyle ya has.”

“It’s not a horrible lifestyle.”

“He won’t even masturbate,” BeaLuna said.

“BeaLuna!”

“What? You don’t.”

“How would you know?”

“You told me. I asked. Remember?”

“Will you stop talking about me like that.”

“Why?”

“I don’t like it.”

“Well it’s true.”

“Is dat true?” BoomFuzzy asked the Elf.

“I... you... Yes... but it’s not your concern.”

“It’s everyone’s concern actually,” BeaLuna continued. “See, it’s like this. So, the King doesn’t have a son, and he’s really old. And his younger brother, he’s really old too. Neither of them is gonna live much longer. Well, Quaraun here is the King’s brother’s only son, so they’ve decided Quaraun is gonna be the next King, only the King is expected to have a queen, not BE a queen, and he’s supposed to sire an heir, but Quaraun here, he just refuses to have sex with anyone, even himself, so the whole kingdom is basically in an uproar over trying to get him to fuck with someone so he can find out how much he actually does like sex, even though he thinks he doesn’t like sex, but then, he’s got this problem, where he’s kind of crazy, you know, like how he thinks you have claws, and keeps talking about JellyFish living in his head, so no she-Elf will get near him anyways, because they all think he’s insane, which he is, thus why everyone calls him Quaraun the Insane...”

“I do have a JellyFish living in my head,” Quaraun interrupted her. “And he does have claws. Huge talons. Made for killing and tearing flesh. Fearsome things. You could kill an Elf with a single swipe.”

“Ha ha! We could. We do. We does. And dat excites ya, Elf.” BoomFuzzy’s eyes went down to Quaraun’s crotch. “Quite a bit. Do ya like being tortured, Elf? In me experience de t’ought of ripping someone’s t’roat out do’na often excite a Elf, but it excites ya. Oh! We does likes ya more every time We does see ya. But ya still see me claws? Huh? Even after 5 apricots. My. My. Oh dear oh dear. Ya really are a powerful Wizard. Maybe more powerful den me Gibedon. That do be a problem.”

“Each time we meet?”

“Aye.”

“Do I know you?”

“Not like dis ya does no. Ya a Elf wid a dirty mind. We could has fun wid ya. Oh, We would gladly take up de job of teach ya to like sex. We does not t’ink it would be dat hard considering de erection yis hasing right here un nows.”

BoomFuzzy moved closer to Quaraun, which Quaraun had not thought was possible. The tiny Faerie-Elf, stood on top of Quaraun’s feet again then went up on tip-toe, hugging his neck, to try to look Quaraun in the eye. Quaraun gasped as he felt the Faerie-Elf press his groin tight against Quaraun’s.

“We does no t’inks it would be very hard to take ya virginity from ya. AGAIN. We could do it right now and ya’d just stand dere and not stop me. We would do it right now, except We needs ya to keep it a smiggin oov ah wee bit a longer. Got a job for ya. Need a virgin Wizard to dos it for me.”

“Are you sure I still am?”

“A virgin?”

“Yes.”

“Referencing de last time we meet? Apricot?” BoomFuzzy pressed his lips against the Elf’s ear to whisper. “That were rape, just because ya liked it, does no make it count. A ya did like it. We does knows dat.”

Then BoomFuzzy slide his hands down Quaraun’s back stopping to grasp a tight grip on his hips, holding the Elf in place while he humped on him like a dog in heat. Quaraun was too flustered to know how to respond. The last thing he had expected was for BoomFuzzy to hump against him like that. BoomFuzzy laughed and let go of Quaraun, then backed away from him.

“Ya has such pretty bonny blue eyes. Ha! ha! Yis in shock over me ain’t ya.”

“You... your... very bold.”

“Un ya very pretty.”

“What are you?”

“I a horny Faerie who wants to fuck a Elf.”

The apricots were having a bigger effect Quaraun than he wanted to admit. He was starting to realize the Faerie had tricked him into eating it’s food and now was fighting to separate the reality of what was with the reality as the Faerie wanted him to see it.

“We a shape shifter. We does can be whatevers ya wants me to be. Whatever makes ya horny, We does be it. Anyt’ing dat gets me in ya bed, dat We be.”

“You don’t act like an Elf.”

“Oh... nooooo! Ha ha!! Ya already saids ya t’ought We is a Faerie. Oh! Does dat boder ya? Here. Have ano’her apricot.”

Quaraun took the fruit then placed his hand over his ear. The one the Phooka had bitten. The wound was not yet fully healed. Quaraun started telling himself to remember the wound and not get lost in the illusion. He looked around at the Elves who were sitting around on the ground eating pieces of the cake house.

“Apricots.” Quaraun looked down at the fruit in his hand. “What have you done to me?”

“Ya was telling me, somet’ing about ne’er taking food from Faeries before. Ha! Ha! Forget dat rule of yars? Bragged ya was ever so careful to never eat Fae food. That dere in ya. That be apricot number seven.”

“The King rides ahead of his army,” Quaraun whispered to himself. “Takes the form of an Elf, lives in the village, puts them under a trance and then kills them all.”

“Hows dat, eh?”

“We meet before.” Quaraun was now trying to keep the real memories alive.

“Aye.”

“You’re the Elf Eater.”

“Aye.”

“And you admit it?”

“No reason not to. Ye de only one in Inuvik what can save dem. They is already eaten me food and yis too pissed at dem to save dem.”

“Why are you here?”

“Found me an Elf I want to fuck.”

“I’m a Wizard of the Di’Jinn order. I fuck no one.”

“Ya deeply enjoyed hasing me inside ya. Does ya deny dat, eh?”

“No, but it won’t happen again.”

“No? ha ha! We see about dat.”

“And you laugh.”

“Aye. Do ya not?”

“No. Elves don’t laugh.” Quaraun was trying to find inconsistency to help him remember what was real and what was an illusion.

“Does ya claim to be an Elf?”

“We have that beaten out of us before we can walk.”

“Really? Ya poor t’ing. Ya never laugh? Ever?”

“We don’t laugh. We don’t smile. We don’t cry. We’re not allowed to. To show emotions is weak. We force all emotions as deep below the surface as we can.”

“Hmm-uh. Yeah. That be not happening for me. We does loves emotions. Emotions is good. Me parents tried dat wid me. It dids no go over well. So dey abaundonit me and left me by me lonesome in de woods. They t’ought it would teach me a lesson.”

“And did it?”

“No. But it dids teach dem a lesson.”

“How so?”

“We does ates dem.”

“You... Ate.... you ate your parents?”

“Aye. And dey never dids bully me again now dids dey? They could’na, not whiles deys was chopped up and inside me belly. Well We does ates me father, after he gone done killeds me moder. He ate me moder, so technically, We does only ates him, but dey bo’d ended up in me belly, seeings how he ates her before We does ates him. We is like dat auld woman who swallowed de fly. Never not knows why she did swallowed dat fly, perhaps she die, eh?”

“You’re insane aren’t you?”

“Aye. That We is.”

“I hate Faeries.”

“Here, have a chocolate cloustered apricot. It twall do ya good. Loosen up dat stiff auld brainless mind of yas.”

“One should never accept food from strangers. You never know when it might be enchanted by Faeries.”

“Wise advice. Yis not as stupid as most of de Elves around here. We does like dat. Here. Apricot.”

BoomFuzzy handed Quaraun the same apricot, but from the other hand and that time he took it and ate it and did not seem to notice he had.

The spell that had captured everyone else in the village was slowly enveloping Quaraun, clouding his mind, effecting his judgment and causing him to not fully be aware of his true surroundings any more.

The gingerbread house became more real and the forest and horses faded from his eyes.

The oak trees lot their bloody fruit and cheerful pink cotton candy fluttered in the breeze instead, as reality slipped away and BoomFuzzy’s spell sucked Quaraun in.

“I’m a Wizard. Unlike most of the idiots in this town, I have an education. I’m not an illiterate dolt who takes candy from strangers who appear out of no where with a gingerbread house, that should have taken weeks to build.”

“Ahhh. The Wizard of de Moon Elves. Aye. Then ya should be Quaraun. I has heards of ya.”

“You keep asking me the same questions over and over.”

“Aye. Apricot?”

“Why?”

“Waiting for apricots to take full effect on yis brain. Ya answers is changing.”

“You’re drugging me.”

“Yis eating me apricots, any ways, no?”

“I am.”

“They say Yis de best at what ya do and We does has a job for ya.”

“What is it, they say I do?”

“Ya makes genie-bottles. Ya capture demons and devils and disembodied souls.”

“That is my specialty, yes.”

“We does needs one. No. That be not right. We does needs t’irteen of dem in fact.”

“Thirteen genie-bottles? Why?”

“Where We does come from, our village is plagued by t’irteen evil spirits. We has tried everyt’ing. We is at our wits end to get rids of dem. Then we hear tell of an Elf, in de frozen lands of de Deep North, pure and innocent, free of all corruption and sin, and wields power like none other, in a village in a valley of ice and snow, he be de most powerful Wizard de realm has ever knewed, and de t’ing he is knewed for is building items to contain ot’er items in such a way, dey nevers escape. Items dat is endowed wid such strong magic dat no one can ever breaks dem. The bottles he builds is indestructible. We does has seen one. We does dids tested it. Ya has very strong magic, Elf. We does cames here looking fors ya. We does want to order t’irteen of dem.”

“Most people can’t afford even one of my magic items. And you want thirteen? Can you afford them?”

“Aye. We does can.”

“I’m not cheap.”

“Un We not poor.”

“I don’t accept illusionary payments from Illusionists.”

“Is dat want ya t’inks We does be?”

“You are yourself a Wizard. And a Faerie. You’re a trickster and a shape shifter. And I can see through your illusions. I think the others around here, see you and your house different from I do. You are not an Elf. You’re not even a half-Elf. They think you are. Your magic strong, and they can’t see you for what you are, but my magic is stronger, and I can see that you are a Faerie. And I don’t like dealing with Faeries. Faeries are not trustworthy. Faeries lie. And Faeries pay in gold coins that crumble away into feathers and dust. Your kind makes chocolate out of poison mushrooms, and gingerbread out of toadstools.”

“And eggnog out of poppies, Here? Eggnog?”

Quaraun took the mug and stared down at it, then continued talking.

“It’s poppy milk disguised as eggnog. Everyone in the village has been eating your house and are trapped by your spell now. You’ll have to pay me, in something that is more real than your house, candies, and nog are, Faerie.”

“We does likes ya. And We does can pay ya in real gold. In de Realm of Fae, We does be King. We does be King Gwallmaiic of Pepper Valley. We does has pet dragon back at home on Fire Mountain and a Leprechaun for a manservant. We does has a lot of gold and jewels. Fat lot of good it does me. We does has no family. No one to love me and love in return. All de gold in de world, can’na buy love. Ya name ya price, ya shall has ya gold. Say ya’ll be me lover and We can gives ya de world. We can ya knows. And ya wants dat or ya did a long time ago.”

“You’re lying about the thirteen spirits.”

“Is we?”

“Yes.”

“How ya tell?”

“Why are you here, really?”

“We is building an army of Liches and We am a fait’ful servant of de pretty pink Jellyfish dat wished to rule de world. We does do anyt’ing for her.”

“You serve the Sacred Pink JellyFish?”

“We does be madly in loves wid her.”

BoomFuzzy took hold of the Elf’s hand, in both of his and began to gently stroke Quaraun’s soft flesh.

“I am de King over every King of Fae. King over nearly all de non-Fae kings. The Grand High Emperor of de Triple Planets is my King. I wish to serve him.”

“And you think that is me?”

The candy maker knelt at Quaraun’s feet, still holding his hand.

“I knows it is ya. I has had me a taste of ya blood. I knows what lifes inside ya. Love me and I will be yar slave.”

“I don’t accept Human currency.”

“No?”

“No.”

“What yis take?”

“While the Common Elves use whatever currency is used by local Humans, we High Elves use gemstones as currency.”

“Gemstones? Like diamonds un rubies?”

“Not just the high end stones like diamonds, rubies, and sapphires, but also the more common stones like quartz, amethyst, obsidian, tourmaline, mica, pyrite, lapis, and jade. High Elves in coastal areas also use sea shells or coral or smooth white beach pebbles. Humans and Common Elves tend to use metals: gold, silver, copper, melted into coins.”

“What ya want?”

“Tourmalines.”

“Tormy-lins?”

“Pink ones.”

“May I ask but one t’ing?”

“What?”

“Do no break me spell. The Moon Elves is a haughty lot. Proud arrogant and very bigoted against Faeries. Do ya t’inks I could of walked into ya wee lil village as a Faerie and not been killit deid on sight?”

Quaraun suddenly laughed. He had suddenly gotten a marvellous idea how to annoy his father. The Faerie let go of the Elf’s hand uncertain why Quaraun had laughed, fearing the Elf rejected his offer.

“I t’ought ye Elves dids no laugh?”

“We’re not supposed to, but your apricots seem to make me feel...uhm...”

“Less inhibited?”

“Yes.”

BoomFuzzy stood back up.

“How come for does ya laugh?”

“You’ve got nearly the whole village under a spell, don’t you?”

“Aye.”

“I don’t know why I didn’t think of that myself.”

“Eh?”

“Nothing. You caught me on a bad day. Up until yesterday I had long hair and I didn’t dress like this.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning you’re right. A Faerie would have been killed on sight. And my father would have given the order. Nothing would spite him more then me helping a Faerie. If you stay in our village, keep people drugged under your Fae Food Glimmer spell, I’ll make your genie-bottles.”

“Ya want me to keep dem drugged?”

“Yes.”

“What of de rest of me request?”

“I’ll think about it. I don’t keep lovers. We don’t reproduce that way. You do excite me. I don’t know why.”

“Ya living in de body of an Elf. No matter what ya Jelly body did before, yis subject to de desires of de Elf body’s flesh now and an Elf needs de physical love of a companion. Ya’ll not survive long n de body of an Elf dat shuns sex. Elves is very sexual beings. They t’rive on sex. They make bad choices as a host body for Thullids seeking sexlessness. But, Ya has troubles wid ya father?”

“Yes. He burned my pink dresses and cut my hair and is now demanding I find a sister marry.”

“Burned ya dresses?”

“I don’t very much like being a male.”

“Ya does no like being male?"

"No. I as a female in the ocean."

"Ocean?"

"I'm still female. ZooLock stuck me in a male body."

"Ya does no like dat?"

"No. I like this body. I just don't like how everyone gets upset if I dress like a female while living in his body."

"Ah! De wee Jelly be talking, eh? Oh, I t’inks I is gonna like ya a lot.”

“I’ve been passing for female for several years. It's not too difficult in this body. He doesn't much look male to begin with. Is that a problem?”

“Ohhh, no. No! Not a problem. Not a problem at all. I prefer it actually. I t’inks I likes ya more every minute. So Yis saying dat before today, ya looked like girl.”

“Yes.”

“I love it. Yis a rebellious lil Elf ain’t ya?”

“I am deeply and utterly annoyed by the people of this village.”

“There be Elves around here ya no like?”

“An infinite number of them.”

“Anyone else in dis town ya does what ta kill?”

“What?” Quaraun was taken back by the Fae’s question.

The strange unElf, wrapped his arms around Quaraun’s neck and stood on tip-toe to whisper into his ear: “There be more den one way I can pays ya. I is an Elf Eater. I eats Elves. I twould gladly get rid of any problem Elves for ya.”

Quaraun wasn’t really listening to what the Fae-Elf-creature was saying. He was too busy thinking about the erection he was having as the creature was pressed up against him.

“Gwallmaiic...”

“Call me BoomFuzzy. And ya t’oughts is elsewhere right now ain’t dey?” BoomFuzzy ran his hand down Quaraun’s chest, across his belly, stopping over his erection. “I can pay ya’s like dat too. Haha! Yis a very pretty Elf. I would no mind paying ya’s like dat at all. And Yis ready for it right now. Would ya come into me house? Lay in me bed wid me?”

“That’s rather bold.”

“Sos this.” BoomFuzzy squeezed Quaraun’s cock and made him moan. “Yis very ready for it.”

“I should go.”

“Oh please do no go. Please come in and let me relieve ya tension. It twall only take wheen minutes.”

“I can’t.”

“Ya can.”

“I... no... I already told you. I am a Wizard of the Di’Jinn order. I’ve never been with anyone before.”

“A Di’Jinn? Aye. Yis a virgin."

Di'Jinns are always virgins."

"Except when dey ain't?"

"What do you mean?"

"Yis t'inks yis virgin. Or at least ya t’inks yis. I keep forgetsing. Oh my. I like virgins. But Yis a Di’Jinn. Oh my. Ya was wid me only a week ago, dids ya forget how much ya enjoyed me riding ya. But ya did lifes wid dem. I remembers. No wonder ya wee lil magic is powerful. The Di’Jinn be formidable. That explains de power of yar magic. Ya must not has sex den. I needs de t’irteen genie bottles made to be as powerful as de one I tested. Pity. Yis such a pretty, Elf. I twould love to sink me rod between yar creamy white thighs.”

“I have to go.”

“Will ya make de bottles?”

“Yes. I will need specific details on what type of spirits they are to hold. I’ll come back for those later. When you are less... horny... and I am less drugged.... and wanting you to... I gotta go.”

“I shall be waiting for ya’s to come back.” BoomFuzzy continued to fondle the Elf.

“I have to go.”

“Apricot for de road?”

“These are drugged.”

“But ya keep taking dem?”

“I know.”

“How comes dat, eh?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well den. Ya trot on back home and clear ya head. Do’na stay away long. Ya knows where I is and me bed is always open for ya.”

~o0o~