Sry I just couldn’t get into it. Will be working on something more special to me since I couldn’t love that work.

For what…?

just hope you have a good day spreading good will 

…Not saying improvement isn’t a good thing but you should probably have just changed it when you had time. I also see that someone replied to me but I can’t see it anymore since the entire book is deleted. But we’ll, you do you.

The dialogue is confusing 

Which part? There’s only two people in the room in the first four chapters. And it even goes back and forth with no change. Adam says one thing, Gaia says something back. Repeat.

Don't know if you ever sorted out dialogue tagging, but this: https://forum.scribblehub.com/threads/how-does-envy-attribute-dialogue.22719/ is a pretty good guide/example.  I'll also add that you should try to keep characters "moving around" a little in scenes.  It's a good way to incorporate character names into dialogue without using "said" a ton.

I've both seen that advice elsewhere, and I find it works pretty well for my own works when I'm rereading/editing them.

I’m not sure which you’ve read since I can’t remember any time you commented on any of them, but thanks for the praise. Makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

Oops.

Done

If you can, please give your thoughts after catching up.