I just don't want to think about it!

 

Andrea

 

Andrea opened the front door to her house with a sigh. Friday's, as usual and well known, were long days. Many people couldn't wait till the weekend, or their days off, and Andrea was no different. She sat down and put her head back against the door and took a deep breath in. The weeks were so long, but there was nothing she could do...What was the saying? Working to live?

It wasn't too much of a problem, as she had three small days of working four hours, but the other two days, and sometimes  three, of eight to ten hours...Were very tiring...Sigh

After counting to ten, she smiled and got up. Time for fun, she thought, while walking over to her music player.

After putting on her favorite radio station, she put her work things away and got something to eat. Sitting down on her favorite chair, she put her feet under her and got her notebook and pencil.

Tapping the notebook with her pencil, she thought of what she saw today. A pattern worth drawing about.

This, was indeed, Andrea's life. Very uneventful and lacking to an on looker, but, her future entitles...The direct opposite.

 

Her house was small, only two bedrooms and no dining area. To Andrea, though, it was her sanctuary, she was happy and found it appropriate to who she was and what she needed. It was easy to clean and keep clean, as cleaning was her job as she worked at a hospital. She didn't have many people come over, not anymore, so the two seater chair beside her rarely got used and sat their ignored, as though not even there...Just like one of the rooms to the house...

 

Tiles, mop, bucket, trees, bins, people? Andrea took a bite of her crackers and cheese and tried harder on the basic things she saw today. Dirt on the tiles, shoe marks on the tiles? Nah, she thought, I've already done the paws in squares, surrounded by other kinds of paws in squares. She rummaged through some other images in her photographic memory and saw the trees again, saw the leaves and branches. Leaves, colorful leaves, because of spring.

With a soft chuckle, Andrea tried to think of something else colorful, or to do with nature. Something good for both male, female and kids. Something to make their dining more enjoyable...This was because her biggest seller was, in fact, tablecloths...Of course, she didn't get much money for all of the work that she puts into it, but making patterns was for another reason, other than to get money...It was to keep her sane, to keep her calm. To anyone who would call her a weak person...She would shrug and not care. Actually, there wasn't much she did care about anymore...The world was black and it was scary. Her patterns made her feel like a normal person, but without them...

Another chuckle escaped her lips, as she continued to think and she took another bite of her crackers and cheese. Ok, she thought, people like picnics, how about bringing the picnic to the table inside the house.

 

An hour or two later, a piece of paper was full of red and white squares and colorful food. A 3D black and white basket here, a couple of black and white shaded leaves scattered and there you have it, a picnic on the dining room table!

Andrea was happy with her adventure for today and got out of her chair. A microwave dinner went into the microwave and smelling it cook made Andrea realize that she was starving. Not having a huge appetite to always eat, Andrea was a healthy weight that matched her blondish, brownish hair and petite height.

Eating her meal, she watched some TV before bed. Excitement went through her when she knew that she was having tomorrow off and would be able to do what she loved instead of working like a slave.

Cleaning toilets and mopping floors at a hospital wasn't what she wanted to spend her life doing, but Andrea knew that her job was well paid and gave her more than enough time and money to do what she really wanted, which was making patterns. Through and through, Andrea denied she had any kind of problem. What she would call it...Surviving.

 

***

 

The next day, she woke up like the usual Saturday off, not knowing where she was going to go. Her best patterns came from Saturday's. When she went somewhere new and saw something different, she would then let something take over her as she then put it on paper.

It made her feel good to see a pattern at someone's place, or in the shopping centre, knowing that she had put it there.

She looked at a large map that was pinned to her wall, it was of the lower Queensland area of Australia and closed her eyes. She felt for the edge of the paper and traced her finger on the map in a circle. Stopping her finger, she opened her eyes, to see that her finger was on Noosa. This was a place she had been to several times before and with her mood today, she would prefer some place different.

She tried again and came up with another place known as Lawnton. Mmmm, Andrea thought, where haven't I been in Lawnton?

Thinking it was an area in which she hadn't seen much of, she was happy with the outcome.  Lawnton it is, she thought, and I'll just drive around till I find a great place!

 

Being 28 years old, Andrea had herself a second hand car, as well as her small little home, all paid off. With a hobby in which gave her an extra side of cash, Andrea had been lucky to have what she has, and she knows it.

Smiling, she set off on her journey across the Brisbane River to the north side of Brisbane. She liked the idea of no demands, as such from a partner, so being single was more than a want in her life but also a need. Andrea told herself that if she had a partner, she wouldn't be able to do what she was doing right now, and instead of feeling lonely, Andrea felt happier. Boyfriends, she thought, yeah not going to happen! At least I don't really know what I'm missing!

...She doesn't seem to remember these thoughts later...

Her life had become quite easy to manage, as she gave herself very little to do.

Besides the obvious routines, such as shopping, working and seeing family, the only other thing was doing her patterns.

She felt content, even though she didn't actually have friends. She made herself believe that if she had them, she would have to go out, which would leave less time for her to do patterns. If she was honest with herself though, she felt like her personality wasn't cut out for having friends. In the last three years, she had driven all her friends slowly away, by just wanting to be on her own.

Switching lanes, so she could turn, she bit her lip, knowing the full reason why she put so much of herself into her hobby.

Her life had come to a point where she was denied the only thing that she cared about, so her patterns helped her forget about the gaping hole inside her soul.

 

***

 

Forty minutes later, she passed the suburb before Lawnton. Traveling up the main road, she saw the usual and knew that she had to go out to the backstreets, where people where more who they are and the more chance of nature. Going across a railroad and turning to the right, she ended up in a cornered area of such. She looked around. A few kids playing in a front yard, a park, small as it was and lots of fences and closed doors.

How times have changed when she was younger. There weren't as many fences and basically all neighborhood kids would be out on the streets, playing games out on the road, only to stop for a few cars that came throughout the day. She got out of the car and locked it.

A walk around first, she thought, and then find something to put on paper.

 

A slight force overtook her without her knowing or caring too much. This is what usually happened to her, she thought it more so as instincts than anything else. Ever since she had been small, this strange feeling would overwhelm her and it had scared a few people...But to Andrea, it was normal.

The big pattern emerged in front of her, as the paper filled up, and then suddenly, the force that was inside her vanished. To a certain degree, Andrea felt like another soul takes over her body, but learnt a long time ago, that questioning it gave her no answers.

Looking at the pattern in front of her, as though it was the first time, she saw the spots and triangles, but added was the other shapes. With a small laugh, Andrea even wondered if the pattern could hypnotize someone!

Andrea was happy with her daily input on her hobby and got into her car, to go back home. Before she could leave though, her mobile sang It's happy tune.

Andrea sighed, knowing that even a message was just someone trying to involve her into some kind of activity that would make her more 'sociable'.

The text said, 'Your niece would love to see you, come by soon'. Her older brother wanted her to join the rest of the universe, as usual. Well, Andrea thought, it can wait until tomorrow.

She wrote back that she would see her beloved niece tomorrow and revved up the car and went back home, with the short pit stop for the toilet.

Andrea never understood how time elapsed so quickly, but of course it did, and by the time she got home it was already afternoon and she was starving. An upside to her "socializing" would be to eat better, she thought, having a giggle.

 

Her brother was all she had left in her family, he reminded her of that quite often. For some reason, to Andrea, it was still too much. He had told her once that she should see a doctor, that depression had come over her and she wasn't living life. Andrea had scoffed at him, saying, 'Each to their own.'

She had hoped that he would see that her life was different to his and accept that this was the way she wanted to live it.

He stayed silent for a whole month, but of course, tried another tactic the next month to get Andrea involved...It's the usual routine.

 

***

 

Sunday arrived and her niece was beautiful and she loved her. Andrea didn't want to stay long but she was always forced to have a look at a picture or watch some amazing thing that 'they' did together. She had a funny feeling that it was their mother's last wish, before she had died, that they tried to get Andrea back on Earth...

She felt like her brother and sister in-law always ganged up on her to try to get her back to normal again. How do they think that it was possible when her twin sister was died? That her other half is no longer here!

Andrea held back tears, hoping that no one would see it. They knew, however, and they let her go.

Andrea was off before two minutes had ended.

Visits to her brother's house ended like this often, they always saw her weakness and Andrea got angry that they ignored her strengths.

When Andrea got home, she slid down her closed door and put her head in her hands. How is it possible that she go on living, to be someone that 'lives' in this indecent world, she thought. Her reason of calling this world indecent was because her sister was taken from her. She was stubborn and thought it wasn't fair.

For a moment, she thought back to the good times of doing things with her sister, like going clubbing, joking about pickup lines and getting new ideas of patterns together. Her sister had been more outgoing then her, the one to poke the tongue or flip the finger at someone...Andrea couldn't even think of a trait of her personality right now...It was like she had died along with her sister, walking like the dead, working like the dead...

Andrea sighed and straightened up, there was no use living in the past.

...Nothing would change the fact that she was gone!

 

***

 

Work was, as usual, a routine. Mornings consisted of cleaning toilets and emptying bins, afternoons were of mopping and sanitizing. Andrea knew that only one thing kept her here and that is because it's where her sister had died...

She had tried to get away after her death but realized that the hospital, for some strange reason, made her feel sane. So, Andrea stayed, and tried not to make it obvious that she hasn't had much of a holiday since.

For the last two years, Andrea tried to get through the hospital unnoticed. So, only few knew of her manners and nature and let her be. Most of the time others only said hello whenever she walked on by them, which was fine for Andrea, it was the way she liked it.

 

Tuesday had come and gone and Wednesday had been a new day, started fresh, until Andrea's boss told her to start on the fourth floor. Fourth floor was hard to do...Bah, Andrea thought, don't think, just do, just do your job and get out!

So, she did...

And she was just about finished and moving on to the ground floor, when she heard something smash to the ground.

Rushing back, to make sure no one was hurt, she saw a few frames on the floor in the hallway.  Looking down, Andrea caught her breath in her throat.

Three pictures were on the floor, among a certificate, one she knew and,  knowingly, avoided it very well.

...Until now.

As fast as she could Andrea cleaned up the mess, at some point someone was trying to tell her what went wrong but the reason was unheard through her ears.

All Andrea wanted was to get out of there...

Collecting the pictures after cleaning the glass, she put her finger over the top one remembering how, when and why this picture was important.

It was a picture of the front of the hospital, the garden inside the hospital and a view of what was outside of a room looking from a particular hospital bed. It was history working all over again.

After closing her eyes and opening them again, Andrea insisted on just looking at the picture and taking in how it was done. Her sister was so good when it had come to going from one scene to another. How well she had gone from the front door, to the garden and how the leaves formed two trees, two trees in two different areas of the hospital. And then from the garden, to the hospital room, railing on the side of the garden turned into the end railing of the bed. Before tears could make their way through her eyes, Andrea put the pictures down on the desk, to be redone in frames, and she left for the ground floor.

...The spiritual power contained inside of that picture...Was released.

Connections started to re-established themselves...

 

***

 

Being downstairs, Andrea felt back to normal. Getting the mop and bucket was easy and Andrea was just about to go on automatic when she saw something walk across the front doors of the hospital, it looked like it was pacing and then it disappeared again.

Andrea looked around and saw that no one had seen anything out of the ordinary and continued on with her work. Looks like I'm going crazy as well as unsociable, she thought and knowing that wasn't the only thing wrong with her.

As her Wednesday at work came to a close, she saw yet another ghostly figure come out of nowhere, and again, no one else seem to be spooked or worried. Shaking her head, Andrea walked off, ready to knock off and go home for a much needed rest.

Andrea was starting to feel like this week was starting to take its toll, it was taking too long to have play time and be happy again. She wasn't only thinking that it's only Wednesday and that she was working Saturday this week, but that she really needed some time to go out there to that anywhere place, where no one knew where she was, to just sit there and be calm.

 

***

 

Before Andrea got out of the car, from driving to work the next day, she closed her eyes and tried to believe she was in that anywhere spot. She counted to ten and breathed in and out slowly, picturing kittens and little puppies that follow you around with their waging tails.

She didn't believe that after opening her eyes, Andrea felt calm, at peace and ready to go to work, even with a jump in her step!

The day was even relatively easy, even seeing the ghostly figure again didn't seem to stun her out of her calmness. Andrea was quite amused to come home and want to do something, other than watch TV before bed.

Sitting down on her favorite seat and nibbling onto her dinner, Andrea thought about what she saw this week so far and tried to picture them all. Glass, Ghosts and Gardens. Again, Andrea was surprised when she heard herself giggle. She was happy with those three words and tried to think harder on how to get them onto paper. G's, glassy garden…ah ha, she thought, colors blue and white, white leaves around eyes, various eyes, and uncolored, and separated by blue glassy lightning. This may not go so well, Andrea thought, but hey something may come out of it.

Despite the idea being a bit farfetched, Andrea did it anyway.

An hour later, with only a fifth of the page done, she sighed and put her pencil down.

Sometimes, she thought, things may make more sense with a different day...

 

***

 

Sleep that night was dreamless and getting out of bed had become relatively hard. Thinking of ways to make her pattern more tablecloth worthy, Andrea was quite closed off to everything around her when she was working. Cleaning the front windows of the hospital had to be quick, and Andrea was used to that but, just before turning to walk away, she nearly ran straight through the ghostly, transparent figure that she's been seeing lately.

Andrea didn't know what to say, other then, "Oh…Sorry."

Clearly only because she nearly ran into them...

The ghostly figure didn't move but looked right back at her, she wondered if he saw her. Andrea didn't want to be rude but she didn't like the idea of becoming a medium, especially since she was the only one that could see this see through handsome face. It really was quite astronomical, as she saw that there was a faint light that went around his figure, making him look like a special, divine being...

A person to her right came up to her and asked if she had been talking to them, Andrea just nodded.

The ghostly figure just stood there staring at her, grounding her leave. A small smile spread to his face, making him look even more charming. Andrea watched as his eyes looked really gentle towards her. Could it be...He can really see me?

Looking down, Andrea tried politeness and said, "Excuse me."

Walking around him, not through him, she started to head towards her next cleaning area.

 

(The pattern that Andrea does at the park, is the pattern I will use for the cover of 'Universal Creations')