Daikael

I don't write this one too often, so it doesn't really have a schedule. If you want it, yell at me over on the discord.

Later on, day two still.  I found myself staring at Stabby and its crushed flowers, like an idiot.  Actually, it was kind of amusing. The petals from the crushed flowers would fall on the floor, it would vacuum them up.  More would fall on the floor and again it would vacuum those up as well. Thankfully that gave me a few seconds to think about this.  Does it really want to date me? It doesn't even know me. Oh wait I guess that's why robots date, but me, I'm not pretty or popular like its normal type…

I finally decided why not, what do I have to lose.  I walked over to the door, stuck my head out and said, "Sure, when do you want to go out?"  I swear Stabby actually gave a small hop and said "Tonight of course!" It seems a little too eager, but what else did I have to do tonight.  I mean I had really wanted to download an article I heard about, The Growing and Force-Feeding of Nutritious Plants, Lichen and Algae to Organic Lifeforms.  I think it could really save the ship a ton of money. I guess that could wait until I plug myself into my charging station after the date.

As Stabby left I found myself panicking.  Oh My God, what do I wear tonight? Wait, what is wrong with me, I don't wear clothes.  Being around Stabby is making me act like one of those overly emotional humans. Next thing you know I am going to be going out and doing shopping therapy and having my stainless steel exterior polished at a spa.  Actually that last idea is a good one. I yelled "Darla! Where does a robot go on the ship to get themselves shiny?" Darla gave a big sigh before she answered. The bimbo sighed at me! I wanted to tell her, that being the ship's life support doesn't mean that you actually breathe.  Airhead! I giggled at my insult.

Darla said in a patronizing way, "Flora, you go down to the mechanic bay where all the other robots go for maintenance. "  Of course, I mean who has ever heard of a robot spa on a ship. One can dream though, right. I guess living on Earth has spoiled me.  "Thanks, Darla," I said. "Don't mention it!" She said cheerfully, "By the way, if you hurt Stabby in any way, I will snuff you!" She added in a kind of menacing way.  I responded, "Darla I don't breathe, but I don't plan to hurt it." Psycho! I wonder if she uses that threat on the crew that does breathe? Maybe we should rename her Hal-e.

I stared around the hydroponics bay to see if there was anything I still needed to do before the end of the day.  I guess I don't have to watch the plants grow, they will do that if I am here or not the last time I checked. But you can never be sure with carbon-based lifeforms.  I know that if I don't keep an eye on them, they will probably ban together and demand better nutrients, less time under the grow lights, maybe even vacations.

As for now, they seem fairly quiet.  I suppose I can take off early for some much needed me time.  This move has been really stressful and I know I deserve it.   "By the way," Darla added before I left. "Yes?" I said, "Ask for Jack," she said, "he can polish a head, better than any other robot."   "Thanks again!" I said as I left, though I have this strange feeling she isn't telling me something.

As I entered the mechanic bay a short squat robot rolled over to me chirping and beeping the specials of the day.  It asked if I had an appointment. I said, "No, but if Jack is available I was told to ask for him." Darla had better be right about him!  "Your name?" It asked. "Flora," I said. "Wait here," it said, "and I will see if he is done with his client." I wandered around the waiting room looking at pictures on the walls of gorgeous shiny robots.  It must have taken hours to achieve that level of shine I thought.

"Flora!" Jack exclaimed like I was his favorite client.  "Are you here for a special polish or a shine?" I stammered "uh, I don't know.  I have a date tonight and I would like to be shiny." He had a weird look on his face and said: "Oh so the captain isn't the one that referred you I am guessing."  Puzzled at his remark of the captain, I said, "No, Darla referred me to you." Relief seemed to flood over him and chipper than ever he exclaimed, "Dear, I can make you look fabulous for your date!"  Curious at his reaction I asked, "would I have received a better deal if I had been referred by the captain?" Looking amused he said, "no dear, you just would have received a 'different package,' if you get my meaning."  I honestly had no idea what he was talking about, but an hour later Jack was right, I did look fabulous. 

I headed back to the hydroponics bay to check on my leafy friends.  Everyone still looked as perky and happy as they usually do. With zero escapees.   I decided while I wait for Stabby to arrive, to run another round of tests on the water.  I mean I can't have Stabby think that I have nothing better to do than just sit around and wait for it.  I don't, but it doesn't need to know that.

Just then Stabby glided into the bay.  "Beautiful!" It said excitedly, "you make me want to breathe on your shiny chest until it fogs up and write inappropriate messages on you."  Dumbfounded by its unusual compliment I said, "thanks I think." It glided unusually close to me, sniffed me and said, "are you ready to go?"  Wait, did it really just sniff me? Do I really want to go out with a robot that sniffs me and makes odd compliments? I suppose just this one time, but only because it's the most attractive robot on board.  

"Yes," I said, "where are we going tonight?"  Stabby, clearly amused, said, "hun, we're on a ship, there is only one place we can go, the robot canteen."  "Right, I knew that I was just trying to make conversation," I said defensively. I guess that means couples massages at the mechanic bay were out.  I'll have to save my two for one coupon that Jack gave me for another time. But if Stabby expects me to put out, I want a massage by date six and maybe one of those cute little plasma scrubbers.  I heard they make the best pets. Added bonus, there will never be plasma in my living spaces. Or is it that they scrub with plasma, I can never seem to remember how that works. Whatever, I heard that they make the most adorable purring noises when you scratch behind their scrubbers.

As we entered the canteen, I spotted a small table for two with unwilted flowers and a candle.  Aw, I thought Stabby is being romantic. I never would have guessed it was the type. Apparently, it wasn't, just as we were nearing the small table another couple sat down.  Good thing it wasn't us though, just as they picked up their menus the fire suppression system came on and drenched their table. Who thought fire on a spaceship was a good idea?  Stabby turned to me and said, "you know in the good old days, the fire suppression system would have drenched the whole canteen, do you know the kind of party we could have had with that?"  I did not, but I didn't want Shabby to know that I was clueless.

Just then Stabby's friends from his party showed up.  They bumped up against each other in some sort of greeting.  Then Stabby turned to me and said: "It looks like the gangs all here now, ready to have some fun?"  Did he plan this? I thought we were having a date! What kind of fun is he thinking of? Same as his party at his storage closet?  Group orgy? Multi-Level Marketing Presentation? Should the self-respecting me leave?