Day #3.  The maintenance crew was finally able to turn the gravity back on in the early hours of the morning.  I am a little sad that I didn't get to see the floating scientist fall to the ground.  But at least I could rescue the more important life forms, my plants.  

I chose to forgo my usual time in my charging bay so I could clean up the lab and get my plants reestablished.  I tallied up an extremely high death toll of five leafy friends that didn't survive the earthquake.  32 of them were injured.  I am sure countless others will be scarred for the remainder of their lives.  I will have to add plant therapy to my list of things to research.  It has to exist.  But how was I ever going to find a cucumber-like Harley again?  

I mean it was kind of a perv, always telling its disgusting jokes.  Like what did it and a penis have in common?  They both have cum in them.  I mean seriously!  It may have only been 61 days old.  But that is plenty old enough to tell better jokes.  Actually, I guess I could just grow another plant from its seeds.  Maybe if I keep the plants away from internet porn this time, one of the offspring may tell better jokes. 

Can you even breed better jokes into a plant?  I wonder if there is research into that.  It would be nice if the scientist on this ship did really important research like that.  But no, they are obsessed with advancing the human's health and I suppose other sentient lifeforms.  Can they not talk to plants?  Anyways it really is such a waste, they love to destroy their health with synthetic foods, drugs, tanning beds, and alcohol.

Which reminds me, now that I have cleaned up the bruised tomatoes that were laying all over the floor.  I will start my tomato wine and prove to the captain that he greatly underestimated me.  Maybe I will get a raise.  Maybe I will get a big enough raise that I will start my own pyramid scheme or are cults more fashionable?  I will definitely have to add that to my research list.  If this turns out well, next I will try habanero wine.  After that, I can try squash or cucumber, no scratch that, still too painful.  Pumpkin!  I hear humans really like their pumpkin spice.

Speaking of short, squat, and round things, Stabby still seems overly concerned with the humans' weird headaches and is heading over to meet up with me to talk about it.  Or maybe this is an excuse just to see me.  That's clearly got to it.  Humans clearly can't really be that important.  Now, do I have anything in the lab that I can quickly polish myself?  Or do I act like I forgot Stabby was coming to see me and finally catch up on my research?

I suppose I could go the extra mile just this once.  What do I have in here that will make me shiny?  Hmm, calcium nitrate, potassium sulfate, potassium nitrate, magnesium sulfate.  No!  Bleach, ammonia, ooh a rag, and NEEM OIL!  That should make me shiny!  I am going to be so shiny Stabby won't even think about looking at any of the bimbo bots ever again.

Just as I finished the last coat of oil, I heard a familiar chime.  Stabby was here!  Take a deep breath Flora, act calm.  Haha, I am starting to sound like Darla with her fake breathing.  I opened the door and said "Stabby so nice of you to stop by." It looked confused and said, "Flora you didn't forget I was coming, did you?"  Oh no!  Maybe I was too casual.  I can fix this, so I said "Of course not, I have just been composting my friends that didn't make it.  I am a little out of it."  I decided to cross my fingers here, it's some strange ritual that humans do that calls forth luck from some long-forgotten God.  Seriously I need to research cults, I am sure there are other luck rituals.  I probably need them more than humans do.

Just then I heard Stabby calling my name, "Flora, Flora, Flora!" "What?" I probably said louder than I intended.  "Where did you go?" It said, a little concerned.  "Sorry, I was just thinking about human customs." I said hoping it wouldn't ask any more questions.  "Speaking of humans shall we go?  I wanted to tell you what I think caused the headaches." It said all of this while caressing my back with its knife.  Normally I would be annoyed with it talking about humans.  But wow did it feel good to be touched by it again.

As we made our way through the corridors, I noticed some humans shrinking away from us.  Maybe I was so shiny I was blinding them.  Good!  Maybe next time I will add glitter to further annoy them.  No, if the glitter fell on the floor Stabby would have to clean it up.  Glitter seems to bond at a molecular level with whatever it touches that would be really bad.  I guess I will have to annoy them in another way.  

I looked at Stabby and realized it was looking at me.  It said to me, "Do you smell garlic?  Or sulfur?" I looked at Stabby and said, "Isn't it amazing, I just learned that I could use neem oil to make myself shiny." Stabby looked concerned and said, "I think the smell is too much for the humans." "Really!" I squealed, I am going to wear this oil all the time now.  Maybe I can concentrate it and really annoy them.  Or slip some into Darla's air supply and make the whole ship smell like it.

We entered the canteen and I noticed it was unusually packed.  I had to wonder, what was going on.  Stabby guided me to a table and we sat down.  Please don't be another party I thought.  It looked concerned so I panicked, "What's going on?  Why is the canteen so crowded?" It caressed my hand and said, "I don't know why everyone is here, but there really isn't anywhere else for them to go."  Well, that made me relax a little bit.  But then why is it so concerned?

"Flora, I think the headaches in the humans were caused by a gravitational carrier wave and the humans ended up with headaches because they were broadcasting a return signal."  "Ok..." I said, why would I care?  I am more concerned with the fact that we are forced to gather in this crappy cargo bay while the 'sentient' beings have multiple recreational spaces.  Maybe it's time for the non-carbon based lifeforms to ban together and ask for equal rights.

"Flora, aren't you concerned about what sent the carrier wave?"  Ah no, it's just a space earthquake, no a spacequake.  Ooo I like that, I should get that copywritten.  Stabby was staring at me, oh it probably wants me to reply.  "Should I be?" I said.  "Yes, it could be very bad!" It said in a panicked way that sort of worried me.  "Does it matter to us?  I mean sentient beings are always warring with each other.  Usually, we just get transferred to the 'new owners'." I said trying to reassure it.  "But what if they just want to destroy us all?" It said.

Should we be worried?  Are my plants safe?  Can we possibly negotiate safe passage for robots and of course plants?  I am sure there is something we can do.