Kreah, the Goddess of the world, sat in her domain. She watched from above the witch's antics. Kreah sighed. Why did such an anomaly get thrown into my world? 

She wanted to scream about how it was unfair. Her only consolation was that the witch hadn’t yet destroyed the world. Kreah had goals to achieve. This world could still play by her rules. The stage was set. All she had to do was summon the heroes, yet the witch was just an annoying obstacle. 

“I am lucky she is an imbecile,” Kreah said. She looked at the round ball, displaying the witch in all her glory. “She hasn’t done anything that would end the world since her arrival. It should be fine.”

She turned her attention towards a school building on a different planet entirely. As luck would have it, Kreah had already gotten the approval of Earth’s God to summon heroes. She scanned the school building, smiling at the seven students serving detention. 

All of them were prime candidates for the summoning—no family, friends, or loved ones. They shared a kinship only in the fact that they were delinquents. 

“It’s time,” Kreah said. 

A blue magic circle enveloped the ground below the students' feet. Before they could cry out, Kreah ripped them to her plain. Now, all the students stood before a Goddess in heavenly white robes. Their mouths were agape as they struggled to make sense of it. Kreah dramatically presented her arms. Her tight robes clung to her chest, amplifying it. 

“Welcome, heroes!” 

“Could it be that I got lost?”

It was supposed to be a herb-collecting quest, but I stood in the middle of an unknown forest inside a cave, miles away from Startour Port. Even still, there weren’t as many monsters as the place I spawned. The herbs? I had naturally collected them already. They were only a bit troublesome to get, hanging from a cliffside, so I had to fly up there on my broom. 

After that, I ran away from more red blips on my map. And somehow, I ended up in a big hole on the side of a cliff. It was similar to my unique house in that the inside was more significant than the outside. The smell inside was quaint and drove me further, but I had gotten lost.

“Who puts a whole forest inside of a cave anyway? The Gods of this world must be pretty dumb, yep.”

Well, I wasn’t pleased about being lost, but at least I could find a bunch of new herbs here. In this forest, there was a tantalizing treasure trove of medicine. I even watched some plants eat a goblin. At least all the bad plants were also marked as red blips. The good ones always appeared as green. 

“If I was a betting witch, I’d say Mary would be happy if I brought her a bunch of herbs from here.” 

I thought back to her scary face and cringed. Shaking my head, I resumed my plant picking. I stepped on a pressure plate and ducked to pick up a plant just as spikes went over my head. 

“Whoo, that was close. I’d be a goner if I didn’t train.” 

I kept walking through the forest until I was finally greeted by a large door blocking the path. 

“Open sesame?” I asked, channeling power into my voice. 

The door responded dramatically. It flew off of its hinges back into a large room. Actually, the whole thing crashed into a giant Venus fly trap. The thing wiggled one-twice-three times before dying. 

“Oh, I know what this is!” 

Of course, anybody who had ever played an action RPG would immediately know what this was. It was the so-called gimmick boss. The password must have really been open sesame. I smacked my palm in realization. 

“I put in the secret password, and the door killed the boss!” I was so glad that I was cheering. I really didn’t want to fight a monster for real. “But, wait, I must have gained a level from that! Even if I killed a monster with a gimmick, I would surely get a level!”

I walked into the room to observe. There were no more red blips inside. The walls looked like they could belong in Ancient Egypt. The plant looked gross, though. A green ooze poured from its wounds. However, I did remember something my mom always said about plants. She always told me to at least try my vegetables. Even if it looked like this, it could actually be tasty. I put my finger inside of the bubbling green goo. Then, I tasted it. 

I expected to wretch in disgust, but it actually tasted delightful. It was like a beautiful tea with a confectionary. Before long, I was bottling it all up in spare containers I had made over my thousand years here. 

I also took a bite of the vines, which tasted like asparagus. Well, as long as none of it was poisonous, I could just bring the whole thing back! Thinking like that, I stored the rest of the plant in my inventory. 

“Oh, that’s right! Status Open!” I hoped saying that and putting magic into my voice would do something again, but all that happened was the entire place started to rumble. 

“An Earthquake?” 

The building didn’t answer me, but I was teleported from the boss room back to the bottom of the cliff. Looking up at the opening to that place, it closed itself off. The cliffside with a strange hole was now just a straight, jagged cliff.

It seemed I was doomed to never have a status or level up, but at the very least, I got what I came here for, plus more! I was happy as I hummed into the dusk. 

“Mary will be so proud of me! Not to mention, I can tell her about this place! Then, I am sure she will show me a genuine smile! I can also make money from all of these. Startour Port, here I come!” 

I had a silly thought as I headed back that if this gig worked out for me, I might be able to join their acting troupe.