Chapter 3: Clouded Judgement
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James had made it his job to make John feel as uncomfortable as possible, often when he would say things like he’d ‘beat John like a stepfather’ Kate would always just tell John that James was joking, even when it was obvious James was trying to intimidate the boy. 

All she did was console him over and over not offering a solution until eventually, the time for John to leave for college came and he moved out and stayed at the college dorms on his own accord. 

No, it would be more accurate to say he was chased out of his home. James had begun saying things like ‘Since he's coming of age he can start paying rent,’ or ‘We don't feed freeloaders.’ It was no wonder John would leave as soon as he could, he hadn't even stayed for his 18th birthday, he left so quickly it was like he was never there, like a fleeting summer wind.

Recalling all this Kate felt immense shame. Grief and sadness clouded her face as tears threatened to spill over.

John, feeling something off left what he was doing and pursued his mother with a sigh, he saw her sitting on the couch with her face in her hands, her round delicate shoulders heaving as she sobbed silently.

John's heart sank as he watched his mother's silent tears. The way James treated her wasn't right. It would be an understatement to say he didn't like him, all he felt for that guy was pure malice. When he got the call from Kate that he had died from overdosing he wasn't sure how he felt. 

The first emotion that hit him was relief, absolute relief that the parasite was dead and could no longer feed off his father’s money. The second emotion that fell like an anvil was wrath though, he was angry that he no longer had the chance to hurt the man, to take from him as he did to him.

When he heard how distraught his mother was over the phone he couldn't help but be filled with slight disgust and contempt. They hadn’t spoken in months, mostly due to his avoidance of her after moving out. 

It wasn't like she didn't try to keep in touch though, she really did try. She’d call him almost every day for the first year even, but he’d always find a reason to hang up quickly or not take the call at all. In his view, talking to Kate every day would eliminate half the reason why he even left home after all.

Yeah, he knew it wasn't her fault, he knew that feeling like that wasn't logical, but he couldn't help but feel frustrated and bitter that she did not try harder to keep in touch with him. When he heard her voice for the first time in almost a year it was about that guy dying, he knew how traumatic it must have been for her but he couldn’t help but become frustrated at that. 

He had made the trip back home and what greeted him was his mother’s lost despondent look at the station, but before he could become frustrated the sight of her in her summer dress left him floored, the feelings he had tried escaping from, the one’s that he thought he was finally over all came rushing back and he almost made a fool of himself. 

He could not even garner a thought, he just stood there like a fool and mirrored whatever she did but deep down it was how he truly felt upon meeting her. He did want to be mad, but seeing the pain etched on his mother's face brought a wave of anger and protectiveness over him.

Without a word, John sat down next to Kate and wrapped his arms around her trembling shoulders. She leaned into his embrace, finding solace in the warmth of her son's presence. For the first time in years, she allowed herself to fully feel the weight of her emotions, releasing the pent-up sorrow and frustration that had been building inside her.

At that moment, John realized that it wasn't just him who was suffering. “It’s been hard on you too huh, Mom?” He said in a somber voice. He decided to brooch the long-awaited topic that he’d been avoiding. 

“...?” Kate looked up with her tear-stained face, confusion apparent.

Ever since he had gotten home, aside from Kate’s occasional breakdowns in the morning where he would go comfort her there had been a distance between the two. A distance so big that no amount of pretend family could bridge it.

“I mean everything with James, Y’know like how he treated us?” Kate stared at John, and he continued, “I left this place because I could barely recognize it after a while, I felt like I lost whatever place I had here, as well as your attention.” 

John smiled bitterly and turned away, “Well not like I ever had it.” Turning back to face Kate, John's expression softened, but his words remained resolute. “I felt like you abandoned me and chose that guy over me time after time, I couldn't take it anymore.”

As John spoke, Kate's expression morphed from concerned and confused to distressed. Her face drained of color, and her trembling lips struggled to form words. She opened her mouth as if to speak, but no sound escaped. Her eyes darted around the room, searching for something that wasn't there. John, lost in his thoughts, remained oblivious to his mother's changing demeanor.

"But then I realized that you were a victim too!" John's voice softened with empathy as he spoke.

What? No. I...  She wanted to refute him but no words came out.

Guilt and tears welled up in Kate's eyes as she looked at her son, her heart heavy with remorse. 

John turned to face her, his words faltering as he caught sight of her distraught expression. His heart clenched with concern.

"I should've—Mom, what's wrong? Are you okay? You look pale."

John's grip tightened on Kate's shoulder as he pulled her into a comforting embrace on the couch. He searched her eyes, worried.

Kate looked up at him, her voice trembling with emotion. "No, that's wrong. That's so wrong!"

John recoiled in surprise at his mother's sudden outburst. He had never seen Kate like this before, ever. The unexpected display of emotion caught him off-guard as memories from his childhood came rushing back

He recalled how his father had always been the one to discipline him. Whenever he misbehaved, it was his father who set him straight, never Kate. This lack of authority from his mother led him to push boundaries and test her limits, viewing her more as an older sibling than a parental figure due to her friendly demeanor and petite stature.

Kate had struggled to handle John's behavior, often resorting to pulling her hair in frustration before ultimately leaving the discipline to her husband. When he passed away, John was just 10 years old, Kate found herself at a loss, left to manage the household and her son on her own for the first time. 

Despite inheriting a small fortune from her late husband, she wasn’t prepared to be a single mother.

In the aftermath of her husband's death, Kate retreated into herself. She spent hours locked in her room, and those hours quickly turned into entire days. Consumed by grief and neglecting her son in the process, John was left to fend for himself. 

He had become hyper-independent at a young age, taking on the responsibilities of cooking and cleaning for both of them.

As John grew introverted and struggled with occasional temper outbursts, Kate's inability to cope with her grief and fulfill her maternal duties led to a strained relationship between them. In John's eyes, Kate could be described as a failure of a mother, someone unable to provide the guidance and support he needed in the absence of his father.

Sometime after John's 12th birthday, he noticed a change in his mother's routine and attitude. She began going out and acting bubbly, whereas she usually remained secluded in her room looking like the dead. 

Sensing something amiss, he snuck into her room to investigate. He wasn't afraid of being caught, as he was the one responsible for washing Kate's dirty clothes when she neglected them for too long.

Rummaging through a pile of her dirty thongs, John stumbled upon a book. Curiosity piqued, he opened it and discovered that it was Kate's diary, chronicling her daily life. The entries dated back to when John was just 5 years old, but he had little interest in delving into the entire history.

Flipping through the diary, John found himself alternating between moments of joy, disbelief, laughter, and shame. He basked in the happy memories of their family of three, detailed within the pages. 

At times, he was appalled by the intimate details of his parents' activities, specifically the things Kate liked or had his father do to her. Other entries made him chuckle, while some left him feeling remorseful and ashamed as he recalled his past misbehavior.

Skipping forward to the date he remembered his mother's behavior changing, John found what he was looking for. It was a summary detailing how she started talking to some guy named James and how she was so in love with him, the entries detailed how they met online, confirming John's suspicions, as he knew his mother rarely left the house. There was no other way they could've met besides online interactions.

As John flipped through more pages, trying to ignore the raunchy details left by his mother of her and James’ adventures, he started to feel a weird sense of betrayal and anger. He was jealous, and while he couldn't quite understand why he was jealous back then, he eventually did.

He had felt angry and betrayed that his mother would go out gallivanting with some nobody while leaving all the work to him. Flipping through more pages, he found the latest entry detailing how she would introduce James to him, trying to get John to agree to him moving in here.

John remembered when he first read this, he freaked out so much that he threw the book to the ground and stomped on it, “Fuck! FUCK FUCK FUCK!” 

John smiled bitterly as he remembered how he stomped on it repeatedly and cursed, feeling helpless. As the dreaded day drew closer, John found himself torn between his desire to oppose it and his concern for his mother's state.

He couldn't bear the thought of her sinking back into the depths of her depression. Though she still struggled to take care of herself, often leaving her dirty lingerie for John to clean (not that he was bothered), it was a vast improvement from the days when she would isolate herself in her room, surrounded by filth, barely bathing more than once a week.

Yeah, maybe this way she’ll start treating herself and me better, were his thoughts then. In hindsight, if he had more worldly experience, he would have been more suspicious of James from the get-go. 

John clung to the hope that James's presence would somehow spark a positive change in his mother's behavior. He believed, perhaps naively, that this new dynamic would motivate her to treat herself and him with more care and attention. These optimistic thoughts filled his mind at the time, clouding his judgment.

Looking back, he realized that his lack of worldly experience had blinded him to the red flags surrounding James from the very beginning. If only he had been more discerning, more attuned to the subtle cues and warnings, he might have spared himself and his mother from the turmoil that lay ahead. If he had desperately opposed it, she might have stopped seeing James, or hid their relationship far away from his eyes.

But he didn't, he couldn't. He was too afraid his mother would come to hate him, that couldn’t be allowed she was all he had!

In the entries, she had met James in a gaming forum and had only known him for a little over a week. Within the first two days of talking they began sexting, and by day 3 she was already meeting up with him, and going on dates to seedy motels, it was day 9 of the entry since she met him and when she decided to introduce John to James.

John wasn't very impressed, the man was tall but he looked like he crawled out of his mother's basement. The man had dirty blonde hair that hung in greasy strands as if it hadn’t felt the touch of water in weeks and his skin was pale and sickly. His thin twig-like limbs made him look more like a victim than a man.

I can take him. John pouted and played with his childish thoughts.

Shaking off the memories that threatened to engulf him, John turned his attention to his mother, staring into her watery eyes he asked yet again, “Mom, what's wrong?” He continued, “What’s so wrong?”

Kate opened and closed her mouth, grappling with the weight of her emotions. Finally, she buried her face in John's chest. After a few deep breaths to steady herself, she raised her head, meeting his gaze with a mix of sorrow and regret.

"I'm supposed to be your mother," she began, her voice trembling with emotion. "But look at me. I can't even take care of myself, let alone you. Not back then, and not now."

 Her words hung heavy in the air, laden with the weight of past mistakes and missed opportunities. With a sigh of exasperation at herself, she lowered her head back to his chest.

"And the way James treated you," she continued, her voice muffled by his shirt, "how I let him treat you... Oh, God, John. I'm so, so sorry." John sat there in silence, his expression unreadable.

Time seemed to stretch on, each moment heavy with the weight of unspoken pain. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he spoke in a low but firm voice. “Mom, I love you.” 

The sniffling stopped and it was as if the air was sucked out of the room. A silence so thick had descended that John felt like he could cut it with a knife.

Kate raised her head looked at him with uncertainty, and said, “Yeah I love you too sweety.” John looked at her, gripping her shoulders he said, “No, I mean I love you.” 

As if to ensure no misunderstandings, he cupped Kate’s face in his hands and leaned in slowly, his breath warm against her skin as he brushed his lips against hers tenderly.

The silence that followed was deafening.

“...!” Stunned, Kate looked on wide-eyed, but only for a bit, in the next instant she pressed her lips harder against his returning his passion.

Feeling her return his kiss, John’s eyes filled with a mixture of love and longing. Kate felt a surge of emotions - desire, guilt, confusion - all swirling within her as she responded to his kiss with a mixture of hesitation and longing. Kate's heart raced as she melted into the embrace, her hands instinctively moving to his chest.

For a while, the only sounds that filled the room were their labored breathing but then they leaned into each other with a desperate hunger. Their lips collided against each other with an urgency as their tongues tried to invade the other’s mouth.

As the kiss deepened, their bodies pressed closer together, and John’s hands traveled from her face to her shoulder and then to her back, tracing the curves of her body he moved his right hand lower to the small of her back and then finally to her ass as he cupped a handful of it sending shivers down her spine.

As fondled her behind possessively, he lifted her dress to get a better feel. As she felt John’s strong possessive hands, a low moan escaped her lips igniting a fire that had been smoldering beneath the surface. Kate's fingers tangled in his hair as she pulled him closer. 

Suddenly, Kate felt something hard poking her in her stomach, she knew what it was. She reached down with her right hand and caressed her son over his pants. Her mind was confused and clouded by lust, but her body responded to his with a hunger she couldn't control.

Well, I did promise a chapter later tonight, it is still technically 'night' (4:00 am) but I hate to break promises, been feeling nauseous the entire time, sorry. I have an exam on Monday, so probably no chapter till Tuesday (If I do what I'm supposed to be doing) If I procrastinate in my studies (which I'm so desperately behind) there may be another chapter before then though lol. As for the poll, I probably wont do it anyway don't worry, just trying to gauge everyone's taste I swear.

Would y'all wanna see Kate fucking someone else?
  • Yeah, Ntr rocks Votes: 8 12.9%
  • NOOO Votes: 38 61.3%
  • Go kys cuck Votes: 16 25.8%
Total voters: 62
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