I jerk awake to the sound of knuckles rapping on a door. Sitting up abruptly, I can feel myself reaching for my power slightly as I start to glance around the room. Seeing my surroundings I let myself relax and let go of the shadows nearby. Swinging my legs off the bed I try to rub some of the sleep out of my eyes.
I cherish the soft feeling of the bed beneath me as I get my wits about me, remembering all of the recent nights that I’ve had to sleep on the ground or on park benches. Pushing the palms of my hand against my eyes I finally stand up from the bed and walk towards the door. There’s another knock on the door as I’m standing next to it and I wince at the sound. I don’t want to keep her waiting since she was nice enough to let me stay the night. Taking a deep breath, I pull the door open.
Laverne is standing on the other side of the door expectantly. Upon seeing me, she steps away from the door and nods simply. “Good, you’re awake. I made breakfast.” Turning on her heel she immediately heads for the kitchen. She doesn’t wait for a reply at all. Glancing back into the room I try to decide whether I should get dressed or not, but I decide that I don’t want to keep her waiting if she expects me to be there.
Hurrying down the hall after her, I wring my hands uncomfortably. Since she let me in last night, we haven’t talked much at all. She made me food, but immediately after making it for me she mentioned that she had work to attend to. She didn’t offer much explanation past the fact that she often works odd hours. After giving a few ground rules she went out and left me alone for the rest of the night.
It’s a little odd how much trust she put in me, leaving me here alone. She didn’t seem all that worried about leaving me here alone for any length of time. It should be reassuring, but it’s actually a little unnerving. Especially since she hasn’t hesitated to mention how little she wants us to be a family in any capacity. Nonetheless I appreciate having a roof over my head. Not to mention that this will be the second meal she’s made for me. It definitely beats surviving off of fast food and park benches.
Stepping into the kitchen I see her standing by the open fridge. On the dining room table behind her is a plate with food on it. It looks like a simple breakfast burrito with homestyle potatoes served alongside it. A small glass of orange juice and silverware placed methodically beside the plate completes the image. As she steps away from the fridge I watch her glance over to me while lifting a glass of water to her lips. The fridge door closes on its own and she gestures to the plate at the table. I hesitate for a moment upon seeing only one plate. Leaning against the counter she pulls the water from her lips and finally speaks up. “Well, go on then. Before it gets cold.”
“Err… right.” Shuffling over to the table I take my seat in front of the one plate. Glancing over my shoulder, I worry idly over whether I should ask the question on my mind.
Unfortunately it seems like the small glance backwards is enough for her to notice that I’m waffling over asking her something. I hear her sigh as she pushes away from the counter. “What is it?”
“Did you make this just for me?” I ask quietly. “You didn’t have to do that.”
I can barely hear the small exhalation she makes. “I already ate my portion. Don’t worry about it.” I can’t just not worry about it, but I try my best not to.
Tentatively digging into the burrito, I chew carefully. Laverne doesn’t move at all behind me. The kitchen is silent for several moments while I eat breakfast. After several moments of tense silence Laverne finally speaks up. “Now that you’ve got some food in you, we need to talk.”
I gulp down the bite of the burrito I was so intensely focused on eating and set it down gently. I figured we would have to have some kind of conversation about the situation. “Yeah,” I respond uneasily.
“I don’t mind helping you out while you get your bearings, but my kindness is not endless.” I nod, already fully prepared for what she’s suggesting. She’s letting me know how long I have before I have to leave. “I’m going out of my way to help you, but you need to put some effort into this too if you’re going to stay here.” I stop nodding, pausing at those words. Is she not kicking me out too? “I know you probably don’t have one currently because you mentioned school, but you need to get a job. I don’t care what and I won’t ask or even hassle you about it. I won’t charge you throughout the rest of this month or the next, but by the end of next month you’re going to pay me rent.”
I blink, nodding a little more vigorously. I was worried she was going to kick me out at the end of the month or sooner, I didn’t think I’d be able to stay. “Yeah, of course.” I gulp down another lump in my throat, turning to glance at her as I ask my next question, “H-how much?” This is a nice house, I can’t imagine what the rent here must be like. If it’s an even fifty-fifty split, it could be a sizable amount of money in order for me to stay here. I brace myself for her answer, whatever it might be.
She shrugs, waving a hand in the air as she thinks. “Let’s say… three hundred.”
Hearing her answer, I feel all of the tension in my body instantly deflate into simple confusion. I turn to face her fully this time, looking for something that might answer all of the confusion I feel. “...that’s it? Three hundred is all you want?” Is there some twist? There must be another catch.
She shrugs again, taking another slow sip of water while meeting my eyes. Finishing the glass she sets it down on the counter and looks at me plainly. “That's all I need. I’m not going to gouge you on the price unnecessarily. Not if I don’t have a reason to.”
“But… surely you pay way more rent on this place than that? This is the most expensive part of Phoenix. I checked once and apartments here cost upwards of two thousand.” I gesture at the kitchen weakly, dropping my head. “This is much nicer than an apartment.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t rent. This is my house, my rules.” She folds her arms decisively. “Three hundred. And no strings. I’m not trying to trick you, I’m not going to trick you. I’m not Gene.” Her expression turns dark at the mention of my father. She cools the expression quickly, returning to a much milder scowl. “And I’m definitely not a landlord.”
“But… why?” I ask, feeling lost.
She turns, picking up her glass and opening up the dishwasher. “Do I need a reason? I’m not a monster is why. End of discussion.” Closing the dishwasher, she turns back to me. “I don’t care if you stay here as long as you don’t make a nuisance of yourself. Keep the place clean, pay your rent, and don’t annoy me. Also, stay out of my business. I have my own life and you have yours. We’re roommates at best, nothing else, got it?” I nod once more, remaining quiet. It doesn’t answer my question, but I figure that I shouldn’t press the issue. I don’t want to annoy her after all. “Good. If you can do those things, then take this.” She reaches into her pocket and pulls out what looks like a credit card.
I take the card tentatively, looking it over. It looks like a perfectly normal cash card with a piece of paper taped to the backside. “Um…?” I say hesitantly, looking up at her.
“One thousand dollars.” She says simply, causing me to thrust the card away from myself in shock. She pushes the card back towards me, looking slightly annoyed at my reaction. She rolls her eyes and folds her arms again. “It’s only a fraction of what you should have gotten from your father when you turned eighteen, but maybe you can sue him for the rest sometime. For now, this should be enough for you to buy some basic necessities and a change of clothes or two. I honestly don’t care what you use it on, but I’m not giving you more. I keep the pantry stocked, so don’t worry about buying basics like rice and bread. You’re free to eat whatever else is in there too, just don’t touch my wine. Let’s see, anything else…?” She taps her foot idly in thought while glancing away. Shaking her head in finality, she looks back at me. “I’m pretty sure that’s it. The details for the card are on that piece of paper taped to the back.”
I stare at the offending piece of plastic, very gently pulling it closer. It’s easily the most money I’ve ever had at once. It’s also about a hundred times more money than I’ve ever been given without some form of strings attached to it. I look back up at her, letting the hand holding the card drop into my lap as I stare at her in confusion. “But… why?”
She rolls her eyes, turning around on one foot. “If you don’t have any more pressing questions, I’m going to bed. If you need anything, figure it out yourself. I have important business in the evening, so don’t wake me up.” Without waiting for an answer, she leaves me sitting there with the card still in my hand.
After a few moments alone, I pick the card back up and look at it again. Peeling the piece of paper taped to it off, I look it over. It’s a set of instructions for logging into an account online, as well as a four digit pin for using the card. Putting both down on the table, I continue eating the breakfast burrito she made for me while I think over what just happened.
It’s nothing like what I expected. I didn’t think I’d get to stay, I didn’t expect somewhere to live for so cheap, I didn’t expect to receive any assistance, and I didn’t expect her to be… nice. This single interaction completely destroyed any lingering doubts I had about what happened all of those years ago. Whatever it was that caused her to leave… it must have been dad’s fault.
I feel my anger at the man picking up once more, but this time not for myself, but for the woman who was my mom at one point. She’s stated in no uncertain terms that she has no desire to be my mother, but if I can get to know her as a person… I’ll take that. After all, she’s right. Even if I never knew what happened, it’s been over ten years… I’m no one to her. Until just now that is. Now I’m a roommate to her.
When I’ve finished the breakfast she prepared for me, I make sure to rinse my plate carefully and put it into the dishwasher. I mentally remind myself of her rules. Keep the place clean, pay my rent, and don’t annoy her. Simple rules that shouldn’t be that hard to follow. Hopefully I can manage that last one easily enough. I’ve spent the last several years trying to be unobtrusive, so I have plenty of practice.
Once I’ve finished washing up, I carefully make my way back to the room that she let me stay in. If I’m going to be paying rent for it… I guess that makes it my room. If I can just find a job, I might have a decent place to stay for a while.
The thought sends a strange shiver down my spine, causing me to suddenly feel a rush of emotions. I collapse onto the bed, letting my emotions take over as I start sobbing. I grab at the shadows around my room with my power and pull them close, letting them engulf me in a cooling shroud. Stuffing my face into a pillow to muffle my sobs as I cry openly.
I feel the cool shadows enveloping me, feeling my power changing me as I feel my emotions flowing freely. The shadows around my room darken, extending farther and threatening to blot out the nearby lights. In the comfort of my room, I can cry as much as I want and use my powers as much as I want without anybody else seeing. When I’m done I can get a list of things I should buy together, but for now I can finally have a moment to breathe and I’m going to take it.
I hate feelings. They hurt.