.
.
.
.
[Third person POV]
Somewhere in a snowy place...
Gatak!gatak!gatak!gatak!gatak!gatak!
Hoooooonnnnnkkk!hoooonnnkkk!
A train is moving along the tracks in a thick Forrest...
Snow falls along the way as the train moved at high speeds towards its destination...
Inside one of the train cars, there are a lot of people packing up...
Caching!gratak!gratak!...
All of them are wearing gear from head to toe...
Some wear heavy armor while some are wearing light armor...
A guy moves into the middle of the place and then loudly shouted at everyone...
"Okay listen up Everyone!"(???)
All of them looked at the one in the middle...
"Our mission is to safely secure and rescue the hostages that are in place there! We mercenaries need to be cautious when we get there! We don't know what they will hit us with! We got five minutes left till we reach the point so everyone gets ready to move out!"(???)
Nobody said a word from what the guy said and started packing up...
He looked around the place and nodded and started packing up too...
From the side, two guys are talking to each other...
"So he is going to boss us around again huh?"(???)
"Hey dude not so loud he might hear you"(???)
"I know it's just... he's been bossing everyone around from the start of the mission... It's been ten whole years when S city was destroyed now... I bet he's looking for fame since the Empire started to go active again after that ten years of no war"(???)
"Well, there's nothing we can do about that now. we don't even know what they are up to... And also he has a big backing you know? we can't mess with him at all, we just have to let him boss us around"(???)
"Sigh*..."(???)
Piriririring!
The light turned red as alarms started ringing inside the cart...
Everyone quickly packed their things and moved towards the door...
The train slowly came to a stop and the doors slowly opened...
"Alright, guys! Let's move out!"(???)
Everyone then started moving out of the train...
Wuuussshhhhh......
The wind is strong as snow falls from the sky...
The train stopped dead on the tracks and a couple of hundred meters away is a railway station...
"Alright I'm taking command of this team so don't you dare messed it up! We will arrive at our Destination in about five minutes from here let's move!"(leader)
There are about 20 people here...
All of them slowly but surely move out from the train towards their destination...
They arrive at a small campsite hidden behind the trees all around...
A couple of miles away was the train station...
They all gather there to form the strategy inside one of the tents...
"Alright listen up people!"(leader)
Everyone looked at their leader that put out a map on a table...
"They are moving up a lot of prisoners on a train that is going to leave quickly out of the station... We got to move as fast as possible and capture that train before it leaves the station they are quite heavily guarded there"(leader)
Everyone nodded as he said that...
"Alright first of all we start by taking down their main weapons first then we quickly capture the train and move it out of the station... We don't have a lot of time because it seems that our scout said that they are starting to move the prisoners on the train right now"(leader)
He looked at all of them before looking a the map again...
"This is a bold move but we're going to have to go loud on this one we don't have the time to focus on a plan because they are starting up their train"(leader)
Someone then stretches a hand up...
"Yes?"(leader)
"Um, sir? Why don't we use the train to go there?"(???)
"Sigh*... One reason is that the train tracks that our train is on are not connected to that station so we can't maneuver our train over there"(leader)
He looked around and saw nobody raising their hands so he nodded and close the map...
"Alright everyone let's move out!"(leader)
After that, they all move out and heads towards the station...
.
.
.
.
[??? POV]
Following the leader, we arrived at our destination and we saw the station in front of us...
I looked beside me...
"Hey is this plan really going to work?"(???)
"Yeah it will work I think... Even though I hate the leader we don't really have much of a choice here"(???)
"Alright, everyone! Ready yourself!"(leader)
We all took out our weapons...
I have only had an assault rifle in my hand...
"Hey it seems to be getting fun here"(???)
I looked at a guy beside me...
He is smiling...
I narrowed my eyes as he said that...
"Now CHARGE!"(leader)
We all started to charge to the station...
I heard guns and magic firing...
There is some Droids guardian the station, shooting their guns at us...
I aimed at them and pulled the trigger...
Patatatatatata!
Patatatatatata!
Pachus!pachus!
2 droids fall to the ground...
I take cover on a nearby wall while looking around...
"Move move move!"(leader)
Even though this is a bald move, our leader seems to be cooperative...
BOOOOM!
I saw an AA weapon exploding in the distance seems like a team blew it up...
Things are going really smoothly for some reason...
After fighting our way all of us arrived at the train we moved in and saw a couple of prisoners here...
Mainly girls of different ages and races...
I narrowed my eyes as some of the team started helping them...
"Hey it's okay everything is going to be fine"(???)
"We need a medic here!"(???)
I heard someone calling for a medic and saw some of the prisoners missing arms and legs...
It's sickening...
Tap!tap!
I was startled as someone tapped me on my shoulder...
I looked behind me and saw a guy looking at me...
"Hey we need more help securing the train over there"(???)
I looked at where he is pointing and saw a team of 4 trying to open the door...
I nodded and move towards the team...
Clachik! clachik!
"Goddammit this thing is hard to break!"(???)
I looked at someone trying to hack open the door...
Clililing!pachiii.....
The door light turned green, everyone there aimed all their weapons at the slowly opening door...
What we saw inside was gruesome...
"What the shit?"(???)
What we saw was a girl strapped on a chair...
Her eyes were covered with a cloth, her feet were cut and blood was dripping down to the ground and...
Tiing!
There was a droid with a transparent wing in its hand...
"Shoot!shoot!"(???)
Tatatatata!
Patatatatatata!
Pachus!pachus!
The droid fell down to the ground and we quickly moved towards the girl...
"Medic! We need a medic here!"(???)
A medic came and started treating the girl...
The girl looks around 16 years old...
I was mad at what they did...
I look at the transparent wing on the ground...
Is she a fairy?...
The room is dark with no light on it at all so I can't see much...
Gratak!
Suddenly the train started shaking...
"Oi, what's going on!?"(???)
We quickly moved back to where we came from while some stayed behind to treat the others...
I saw a window and looked outside...
What we saw was...
"Uwaaa!"(???)
"Shit! Retreat! Retreat!"(???)
Tatatatatata!
Tatatatatatatatata!
Boom!boom!boom!boom!
A big mech attacking the other teams...
It's heavily armored and was moving towards the train...
Gratak!...
The train started rumbling again...
Then a radio call came in...
{Pssss! We captured the train and we're going to start running it everyone quickly board the train!}(???)
Everyone outside began to quickly run towards the train...
Some didn't get lucky and we're killed by the giant mech...
Piiiiiip!piiiiiiip!
Gachak!gachak!
I heard the train started moving and I looked out the window...
There are still some left that isn't aboard the train...
"Oi! There are still some people left out there!?"(???)
I shouted some while some of them also looked out the window...
Someone grabbed a radio and started shouting...
"Hey! There are still people out there... Stop the train!"(???)
But nothing came in...
The radio was silent and the train wasn't stopping...
I looked out the window at those who didn't board the train started getting left behind...
"Oi oi oi!?"(???)
I looked at the giant mech and its chest open and started radiating something...
And then...
POOOOOOOWWWW!
Everyone on the ground got evaporated by a Laser beam...
SRTUB!
I saw someone punching the wall of the cart...
And some are gripping their hands very tightly...
I'd be lying if I wasn't mad too...
TIIINNGGG....
I could see and hear the giant mech in the distance as it looked at us in the moving train while we quickly departed from the station with snow still falling down along the tracks...
.
.
.
.
Thanks for the chapter!~
as the train move at high speed t
move => moved
speed => speeds
Inside one of the carts of the train there's a lot of people packing up...
Inside one of the train cars there are a lot of people packing up
All of them are pack with gears from head to toe...
All of them are wearing gear from head to toe...
A guy move in to the middle of the place and then loudly shout at all of them...
move in to => moved into
loudly shout at all of them... => loudly shouted at everyone...
We got five minutes left till we reached the point
we reached => we reach
From the side there 2 guys talking to each other...
side there 2 guys => side there are two guys
we can't mess with him at all and just let him boss us around"(???)
we can't mess with him at all, we just have to let him boss us around"(???)
Everyone quickly pack there things and move towards the door...
quickly pack there things and move => quickly packed their things and moved
The train slowly stop and the door slowly opened...
The train slowly came to a stop and the doors slowly opened...
{'The train slowly came to a stop' is the better way to write it but to help you understand english better, this also works: The train slowly stopped}
The train stop dead on the track and a couple of hundred meters away is a railway station...
stop => stopped
track => tracks
so don't you dare messed it up!
messed => mess
towards there destination...
there => their
taking down there main weapons
there => their
We don't have a lot of times because
times => time
"Um sir? Why don't we use the rain to go there?"(???)
"Sigh*... One reason is because the train tracks that our train was in was not connect to that station so we can't use our train there"(leader)
"Um sir? Why don't we use the train to go there?"(???)
"Sigh*... One reason is because the train tracks that our train is on is not connected to that station so we can't maneuver our train over there"(leader)
saw nobody raising there hands
there => their
Even know I hate the leader
Even though I hate the leader
There's some Droids guardian the station shooting their guns at us...
There are some droids guarding the station, shooting their guns at us...
Even know this is a bald move our leader seems to be cooperative...
Even know => Even though
bald move our=> bad move, our
like a team blow it up...
blow => blew
Mainly girls in different ages and races...
in => of
I narrowed my eyes and some of the team started helping them...
and => as
I looked at someone calling for a medic we saw some of them having no leg and arm...
I heard someone calling for a medic and saw some of the prisoners missing arms and legs...
I looked at someone trying to hack the door to open...
hack the door to open... => hack open the door...
"God damnit this thing is hard to break!"(???)
damnit => dammit
The door light turned green and everyone there aimed all their weapons at the slowly opening door...
As the door light turned green, everyone there aimed their weapons at the slowly opening door...
[quote]What we saw was a girl strap on a chair...[/quote]
strap on a chair... => strapped onto a chair...
[quote]Eyes covered with a cloth , her feet was cut and blood dripping down to the ground and...[/quote]
Her eyes were covered with a cloth, her feet were cut and blood was dripping down to the ground and...
[quote]A Droid with a transparent wing on its hand...[/quote]
There was a droid with a transparent wing in its hand...
[quote]The droid falls down on the ground and we quickly move towards the girl...[/quote]
falls down on the ground => fell down to the ground
move => moved
[quote]We quickly move back to where we came from while some stay and was treating the others...[/quote]
We quickly moved back to where we came from while some stayed behind to treat the others...
[quote]Everyone outside then quickly runs towards the train...[/quote]
then quickly runs towards => began to quickly run towards {or} quickly ran towards
[quote]Some didn't get lucky and was killed by the giant mech...[/quote]
was => were
[quote]I heard the train started moving and looked at the window...[/quote]
started moving and looked at the window... => start moving and I looked out the window...
[quote]There's still some left that aren't aboard the train...[/quote]
There's => There are
[quote]"Oi! There's still some people left out there!?"(???)[/quote]
There's => There are
[quote]I shouted some of them also looked at the window...[/quote]
I shouted while some of them looked out the window...
[quote]Someone grabbed a radio somewhere and started shouting...[/quote]
radio somewhere and => radio and
[quote]"Hey! There's still people out there Stop the train!"(???)[/quote]
There's => There are
there Stop => there... Stop
[quote]The radio was silent and the train isn't stopping...[/quote]
isn't => wasn't
[quote]I looked out at the window and the one that didn't board the train started getting left behind...[/quote]
and the one that => as those who
[quote]Everyone on the ground got evaporate by a Laser beam...[/quote]
evaporate => evaporated
[quote]And some are gripping there hands very tightly...[/quote]
there => their
[quote]I'd be lying if I'm not mad too...[/quote]
if I'm not => I wasn't
[quote]I can see and hear the giant mech on the distance as it looked at us from the moving train as we quickly departed from the station while snow still rained down along the tracks...[/quote]
I could see and hear the giant mech in the distance as it looked at us in the moving train while we quickly departed from the station with snow still falling down along the tracks...
{Just some notes to help you improve:
Snow does not 'rain' down on stuff, usually it is described as 'falling' down on stuff. Ex: The snow is falling outside. There were some mistakes where you used 'is' instead of 'are'. The 'carts' that trains pull are called train 'cars' not 'carts'. 'In to' is spelt as 'into'. Try to learn more on different grammatical tenses of words as you tend to mix up present and past tense. Try to learn about the difference between their, they're, and there. 'Even know' is wrong and the proper way to spell the phrase is 'Even though'. Try to learn about the difference between 'was' and 'were'. Try to learn about the difference between 'on' and 'in'. Try to learn about the difference between 'fall' and 'fell'. 'falls' is not a word, the closest replacement is 'fell'. Try to learn about the difference between 'run' and 'ran'.
After you finish writing a chapter, always try to re-read it at least once to try to catch spelling and grammatical mistakes.}
I did use a spelling check software and I still have problem huh..
@DanNepZen You can't always rely on that stuff sadly. In your case, the problem is that the spelling check software corrected to the wrong word/words