After I got home, I browsed the internet. Finding the website for the convention was easy enough. You could even buy passes digitally, which I ended up doing without much issue. Turns out, just a simple single day pass was pretty cheap, and I already had plenty of allowance saved up over the summer. 

What came next was the other question though…

I browsed through pictures on the site. Photographs, undoubtedly taken when the convention had been held in previous years. Booths, panels, some type of show. Importantly, they usually showed people smiling, some posing for the picture.

…And some were wearing cosplay.

Usually some anime or game character I may or may not have been familiar with. It varied.

The conversation with Lana played in my mind…

…It’s not like I’ve ever gone to a con or anything before, and it’s not like I’m ever planning to do it later. If this is a one-and-done thing, shouldn’t I take advantage of the situation?

The more I thought about it, the more I preferred the idea. Not just for the sake of it, but because it’d be convenient if I was going public in a place like this. Again, it’s not like ‘Penny’ was known for having any kind of hobby associated with these types of conventions, and it’d be awkward having to explain *why* I was there if I bumped into someone who knew me from school. An easy solution is to just not let people recognize me. All I need is a good wig and a matching fit…

I mean yeah, it just made sense. I had to keep Lana’s whole thing a secret too now. It wasn’t just for me, it was for her. 

…But still. Before I knew it I was looking up stuff on Amazon and… wow, these could be expensive. Again, I had plenty of money saved up, but to spend most of it on something like this? Plus, it’s not like I wanted to dress like some anime girl… I was girly, sure, but I wasn’t putting on a maid dress or a schoolgirl uniform.

Suddenly, I paused my scrolling. A six-letter word grabbed my attention among all the results. Lucina.

…She was popular, it made sense there was a cosplay or two of her. I searched her name. Yep, there were a couple. A lot of the same expensive prices though…

I looked up what a wig would cost. She had long hair, and the dark blue color was naturally different from my own. If I was looking for something that’d also help me not get recognized, that would certainly be it…

But was I actually doing it? Buying a costume and shipping for up to $200, just for this one thing?

It just sounded appealing. Like I could have an excuse to have fun with it along the way.

I sighed. I don’t think I’d ever get a chance like this again. Damn it, I was allowed to be a little self-serving with everything going on with my life! Not like I used my money for much other than clothes, products or the occasional video game anyway. I could re-use the thing for halloween or some other costume parties too, I could be efficient with it.

It said shipping shouldn’t take more than a week, so it should be ready by the time Sunday next week rolls around.

I did the order, paid, and finally closed my laptop and sighed.

My eyes drifted to my vanity mirrow nearby. I wondered what’d it be like to see myself in the mirror with something like that on. To see my face with that wig, that outfit... Come to think of it, I always had that kind of fixation with Lucina. Even before I played her game, she was the character I was the most drawn to in Smash.

…Shit!

I almost forgot. I promised to add Adrian to my console’s friend list yesterday.

I rummaged through my bag, pulling out the slip of paper he’d written his friend code on. I booted up the switch, picked up a controller, navigated the menus, and…

…Was this a good idea? Was I actually doing this? What was going to happen if I added him? Would he want to start playing me in Smash again?

I grimaced to myself. He was always good at reading me back then, and we played together for years. I was actively changing my playstyle on Saturday, but if we fought seriously, would he somehow be able to tell?

Regardless, I input his code. The request was sent.

I ended up sitting there for a solid minute, waiting. I don’t know, for some reason I almost assumed he’d be sitting at home right now, already playing something. That he’d see the notification pop up, and immediately accept.

Of course, he might just be busy. There was that job of his, and whatever else he could be up to. 

...

…This is stupid. What was I doing? How did I even get here?

When I saw him on that day, right after summer vacation, I was terrified of what might happen. I thought he might somehow recognize me, after all this time.

Then he didn’t, and I told myself that we’d only be lab partners in biology. That we’d just work on a few assignments together, then move on with our lives again.

Before I knew it, we were friends again. We’d bonded during our time together, shared things about ourselves, and he was suddenly wanting to try playing games with me. We were right back where we started. Yet I somehow still hadn’t told him, and he still hadn’t found out.

This… This wasn’t supposed to end up like this. But at the same time, I don’t know why I’d ever want things to be different. 

A part of me wanted to keep this going. Hang out a bunch, spend more time together, grow a bit closer…

…Another part of me just felt like I couldn’t ever allow myself to do so.

I push these thoughts aside. I can’t mope in my angst about this. It’s fine, everything’s fine. 

Come to think of it, there was another quick thing with him that I needed to do… Something that I had to remember tomorrow.

 

---

 

I scanned the hall in front of my homeroom, trying to see if my eyes could spot Adrian. 

Why was I doing this again?

Oh yeah, returning the notebook he dropped. Duh.

It wasn’t weird, was it? Sure, we’d be seeing each other at Biology tomorrow like every other Thursday, but that was like a whole two days of school from now! He’s probably already noticed it’s gone and is worried sick! For all I know he’s gonna have English later today or tomorrow and he’d be left without his notebook to… take notes and stuff!

Finally, I spotted him walking along. There he was, making his way here to where our homeroom was!

I ran up to him and made a little wave, “Hey!”

He paused, evidently momentarily surprised by my sudden appearance. “Oh uhh, hey Penny.”

“Hey you too.” You idiot, you already said that. “Er, I just needed to give you something real quick…” I started going through my bag real quick, I should have had it out already, really.

Adrian cocked an eyebrow. “You’re… giving something to me?”

“Yeah, I mean not like that, it’s just a…” I finally brought out the notebook. “Here you go!”

“Oh, that’s…” He accepted it and gave it a good once-over. “Huh, my English notebook. Didn’t even notice it was gone.”

I nodded. “You dropped it at biology the other day, I was looking for an opportunity to return it.”

Adrian flipped through the pages. “Well, thanks, I have English later, so that’s pretty helpful. I-” He froze, eyes fixated on the page he’d landed at. “You didn’t… look inside or anything, right?”

I almost jolted, but then quickly shook my head before any other part of my face had the chance to give anything away. Nope! Didn’t see a thing! Absolutely not! 

“...Good.” He responded. He almost seemed relieved, but still a bit on-edge. “Sorry, just, you know, I don’t like people looking without asking first and stuff…” He scratched the back of his neck.

“Oh, yeah, totally!” I answered. “We already talked about that, I wouldn’t look in there without your permission!”

“Yeah…” Adrian nodded, looking to the side. “Well, I’m gonna get to homeroom…”

I let him pass. A part of me wanted to walk with him, but that conversation already felt a bit awkward. Why had it felt awkward? We were so casual talking on Saturday! It’s… almost frustrating! 

But no, it’s okay. That shouldn’t be a big deal. You didn’t need to keep being friends and getting along, right? If you let it all end here, that would be alright, actually...

Suddenly, Adrian stops, only a few steps away from me.

“Actually…” He begins, “You uh, you wouldn’t happen to be free on Sunday next week, would you?”

I freeze. Huh? Sunday? Was he…?

“It’s just something I was gonna do with some of the others, figured you might maybe… I dunno…” His gaze was cast downward.

“O-Oh, so not like a-” I didn't finish that sentence. What was I even I thinking? Of course it’s not something weird like that! “...Well, sure, I guess?” Before Adrian could respond however, something hit me. “Wait, you mean next week, right? Not this next weekend, but the one after?”

He nodded.

…Shit, that was the day I’d be meeting Lana at the convention, to help her with Lexie and coming out. 

I frowned. “...Sorry, I’m actually busy that day. I just made plans…” Some part of me sunk, I felt disappointed at having to give that answer.

“Oh…” Adrian’s face similarly fell, though he tried to keep an awkward smile up. “Well, can’t be helped. It’s fine, the rest of us will have fun…”

Yeah. I can't just immediately change plans or something, and it’d be unfair of me to expect Adrian to do the same. 

“Well… you guys have fun with whatever you’re gonna do!” I said.

“Yeah, you too.” He responded, before continuing his walk.

I did a small wave, but my hand faltered once he entered our homeroom. I could’ve gone in there with him, I could’ve followed behind.

…But I just let him go. 

This was fine, right? It wasn’t a problem that I couldn’t get to join him on something or whatever. He had other people he was talking to now. Technically speaking, he didn’t even need me or anything anymore. He had friends, he was doing better, my main reason for talking to him the past couple of weeks is gone. Penny didn't need to get herself involved. We really could just treat this like I initially planned. Let it all pass by. Complete biology together, then go our separate ways again…

…I wondered if Nora was one of the people he was planning to hang out with, that Sunday.

 

---

 

“...So anyway, that’s when I realized…” Abby paused. “Jordan #1 and Jordan #3 were actually the same Jordan THE WHOLE TIME!” She slammed a hand down to the table dramatically.

“...I’m sorry, what?” Sarah questioned.

“Now that’s a twist.” Irene mused.

Sarah turned to look at her, “You understood that?”

She shrugged. “What’s not to understand? Same Jordan.”

Abby nodded, “Turns out, a lot can change between kindergarten and middle school.”

“Right, but… You only realized when you bumped into him the other day? That it was the same guy? Not back when you were crushing on him?” Sarah sighed. “I give up. At least you got closure.”

“Hmph,” Abby muttered as she chewed her food. “Closure would have been him asking for my number. But no luck with that…”

Frankly, I was only barely able to pay attention to Abby’s story. I had thoughts of my own to rummage through about my past, identity and friends. Ordinarily, Irene would have called out how silent I was being, asking if things were good, but I guess she already knew that I was going through some stuff. Can’t blame her.

“Hey, is it… weird if a guy randomly invited you to hang out?” I ask.

Sarah turned to look at me. “Huh, where’s this coming from?”

Irene didn't say anything, though she met my eyes. She knew way more about my situation than the other two. Even if I tried to play it vague, she’d connect the dots.

Abby on the other hand perked up, “Ooh, this could be a juicy update!”

“It’s not!” I refuted, knowing what thoughts someone like Abby would jump to. “It’s just a thing that happened, hypothetically.”

I wasn’t sure if the girls would believe me if I added the word ‘hypothetically’, but I was hoping it’d at least signal how comfortable I was talking about it. Like this is a ‘please this is not something to tease about, I’m genuinely asking for thoughts and advice’ type of thing.

“Well,” Sarah leaned her head on her hand. “You’d assume it sounds like he’s asking you out on a date. He's not some stranger, is he?”

“He's not, but...” That’s not actually what he meant, right? “It’s not like a movie or dinner or anything, I think just hanging out…”

“He wants you to go to his place?” Abby suggested. "That's moving fast!"

Irene gave Abby a light jab in the shoulder. “If it’s just to hang out, who’s to say?” She commented. “Sure, maybe he’s trying to get in your pants one day, but could be he also just… wants to hang out, you know?”

Abby sighed, “Okay, but can a guy and a girl really be ‘just friends’?”

“They can.” Irene and Sarah responded instantly in unison.

I, on the other hand, was unsure. Our status as ‘friends’ was pretty complicated, after all… Especially accounting for everything going on behind the scenes in my head that most people didn’t know about.

“Okay, but I also mean like.” I began, finding the right words to expand on this ‘hypothetical’ I was crafting. “It’s not just the guy and the girl, it’s also other people.”

“Well yeah, then everyone’s just hanging out together.” Sarah answered.

“But it’s like a get-together that she wasn’t invited to, before the guy comes in.” I tried to explain further. 

“Ahh so he really might be interested!” Abby added. 

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, cuz he wants you to be a part of it. He likes you enough to want you there specifically!” She continued explaining.

“Oooor could also just be a 'liking her as a friend' thing,” Irene noted, sipping from her drink.

“Ugh, do you really have to say that?” Abby responded. “Why can’t it just be romantic?”

“Cuz it might not be,” Irene hit back. “Not everything’s always about that. Penny’s trying to ask a question and you’re jumping to conclusions.”

I smiled awkwardly, “Well, to be fair, it’s just a hypothetical…”

Irene looked at me with a blank expression, in a way that signalled ‘seriously?’ She knew I knew that she wasn’t buying it. 

Sarah sighed, “Not to fully agree with Abby here, but it’s definitely possible. I mean, if he’s singling you out as someone he wants to also be there. Especially if he’s trying to like, introduce you to his friends or something.”

"Doesn't that usually come up after you start dating?" Irene questioned.

Sarah mouths an 'ah.' "That's true."

I grimaced, trying to mull things over in my head. "I mean it's not like he'd be introducing me to them, but..." Crap, I guess he didn't exactly mention who he'd be with, did he? I've just been assuming that.

The more I think about it, the more this all feels like a pointless thing to ask. I sighed, “You know what, forget it. It’s… just a hypothetical anyway.”

“Aww,” Abby mused, “I was hoping this meant something new going on with you.”

“N-No way.” I refuted. “I was clear when the year started. After Bryce, I’m done thinking about dating until I graduate. I’ll let it wait until college.” I took a sip from my drink.

Abby grinned, “Who said anything about 'dating'...?"

I briefly choked on my water.

“See! There’s something going on!” She called out. 

“All of us did! We were talking about a guy hypothetically asking a girl out, of course we were talking about... relationships!” I tried to excuse.

“Yeah, but you admit that that’s how you’ve been thinking about it!” Abby continued excitedly. “Come on, who is it? Is it that one new guy?”

“Abby, quit it.” Irene interjected.

“Hey, come on! You’re the one who brought him up way back!” Abby hit back.

“Yeah, and maybe that stuff’s just none of our business, okay?” Irene responded, looking right back at her.

I breathe a sigh of relief. Thank you, Irene.

“I think Penny already has enough on her plate with Bryce, personally.” Sarah commented. “She doesn’t need any other guy suddenly trying to get with her. Didn’t you say he had trouble moving on?”

“I actually haven’t seen him in a while,” I noted. 

“Wouldn’t surprise me, he updated his profile a while back.” Abby pointed out. “He had this couple pic as a banner, but he took it down.”

Yeah, sounded like him.

“Figures *you*'d notice something like that,” Irene muttered with a smirk, to which Abby shoots her a brief glare.

“When was this exactly?” I asked.

Abby looked back at me, “Over a week ago, I think.”

That would match with our fight at the Art club. Maybe he’d actually given up after that? Whatever, I couldn’t care less about that guy nowadays. He was firmly in the ‘bitter ex’ tier as far as my relationships went.

“I guess that’s good.” Sarah added. “That means you’re free to move on and not worry about him.” She looks over at me. “But seriously Penny, be careful about jumping the gun on anything. If you’re already getting involved with someone again, don’t let him break your heart.”

“I won’t…” I told her, sighing.

I grimaced, thinking back on everything. How my entire life and all of my feelings have started spinning since this whole thing started, and barely able to stop. Even if I’ve been actively involving myself, it’s not like it’s been any kind of romantic thing… I was just trying to help an old friend out. “It’s not even like that. Things just happened, I don’t know if it was ever headed in any kind of direction.”

Abby raised an eyebrow, “So there *is* something going on…”

“Oh, shut up.” I jokingly responded. “Just let me vent without assuming things.”

She sighed, “Alright, that’s fair.”

I smiled to myself, considering the ridiculousness of my recent circumstances. “I mean, it’s not like I’d suddenly fall in love or anything in just a couple of weeks, right?” I asked, laughing. “We, like, barely know each other!”

Abby and Sarah seemed to nod, in a kind of ‘guess so’ type of way, though Irene gave me another knowing look.

“And if he’s sketching a girl in his notebook and I think she kinda looks like me, that doesn’t mean anything, right? I’m just imagining things, and I'm not crazy for assuming that!”

Abby’s eyes grew wide, “Wait, what?”

“It’d be weird if you start hanging out with someone a lot and they *don’t* show up in your dreams, frankly!”

Sarah looked at me, “Uhhh…”

I wave my arms around. “And it’s not weird if whenever I remember him I start thinking about all the times we smiled and laughed together and want to spend more time with him! That’s normal for friends, right?!”

“Sure, but-” Before Abby can continue, I interjected.

“Because there’s not even anything going on! Just helping him out, and now he’s got more people to talk to, and we don’t even need to hang out anymore!”

Irene sighed, “Hey, Penny-”

“Yeah, he can even get asked out by another girl, for all I care! Because I don't! I mean, good for him! That doesn't affect me! Because I-!”

“Penny.” Irene interrupted me this time with a calm directness. “We need you to calm down.”

“You uhh…” Abby paused. “It sounds like you need to work through things…”

I looked at them incredulously. “What? Come on.”

“That sounds like some heavy denial.” Sarah pointed out.

I held a hand to my head. Was it? “But… there’s no way, right? I can’t be…”

Me and Adrian? I wasn’t that easy, was I? I break up with my boyfriend, then some guy walks in and I’m already crushing on him in just a matter of weeks? Just because we were friends a couple of years ago? But I’d already left it behind, I’m not even that same friend anymore. But even so…?

…Just what even were we?

I looked at my three friends, almost pleadingly, hoping for one of them to speak up and agree with me. But they all just gave me the same stare. A stare I'd undoubtedly be giving back if one of them were in similar circumstances.

…This was actually happening. Oh god, it was actually happening. 

I might actually have feelings for Adrian.