The blaring alarm pierced my brain as I groaned, rolling over. Why couldn't I sleep for like, 5 more minutes, maybe 5 more hours..gods that death dream was horrid. It was just a dream right? I mean otherwise I wouldn't be alive. With another blare of the alarm I went to slam down on it, but missed, my arms being too short to hit it. My arms were too short? Odd, must've knocked it a bit further away. I groaned and threw myself out of bed legs first, but instead of landing on my legs I just threw myself onto the floor with a grunt. The fuck? I was normally perfect at this. I groaned pushing myself up with my dainty green arms...DAINTY GREEN ARMS?! My eyes shot open, the shock waking me up as I looked around.

Why the fuck was everything like twice my size?! Ok slow down, breathe, there's a standing mirror in the corner, i'll check that. But also why was my room royal purple? I never painted it that colour?! I rubbed my head, I must be high or some shit. Wandering over to the mirror I couldn't help but stare. What. The. Fuck?!

Staring back at me was a bloody goblin of all fucking things! Like 3ft tall, big green ears, oversized red eyes, long and untamed fiery red hair, and oh yeah, curvy as fuck with big melons! Oh and I guess a cute purple set of flannel pjs, they were really comfy. I brought a hand to my face and the goblin in the mirror did the same. Fucks sake I was a bloody sexy as goblin girl!..why did that thought leave a pleasant tingle in my stomach? Ugh, no time to figure that shit out, gotta figure out what the fuck is going on. Ok, retrace steps, I woke up before normally, went to school and died saving some girl. Now I was a fucking hot as goblin. Was I in a fucking Isekai!? Oh fuck me sideways this was just perfect!..I mean I did look kinda cute..ugh why the fuck was I thinking like that?!

It was a shout from downstairs that snapped me out of my mental rambling. "Oi I hear ya thumping around up there, get ready for ya first day of school already ya lil shit."

Right, first day of school, mum was so insistent on first impressions..mum? I didn't..what? And how did I know today was my first day of school? Hadn't I been in school for like half my life? My breathing got quicker and lighter, no, this was no time to be passing out, practice that exercise. Ok, five things I can see, um, royal purple room..it was a real nice colour, everything bigger then me..least I wouldn't hit my head against trees anymore, a cute goblin girl...I was really cute..huh..that was..a nice idea... My thoughts trailed off before I remembered, right, gotta get downstairs, school, and have to figure out who this mum is. If my knoweldge of shitty animes is right, I'm like, in some new world where being a goblin is probably normal, infact there's probably other fantasy creatures here. Maybe there wouldn't be any humans..hopefully there wouldn't be, I wasn't the biggest fan of hu-

My thoughts were cut off when I realized two things. A. I wasn't adjusted to my new size. B. there were stairs. Oh and add a third thing, I had gone from step 1 to 3. My elbows, legs and head thumped against the steps as I tumbled down before crashing into the wall. Fuck that shit hurt, but less then usual? Huh, guess goblins were bloody fucking tough afterall. I got up, dusting myself off, wait, shit I forgot to get changed. I ran back upstairs, opening my closet, fortunately it was low to the ground, thank god for that.

Looking inside an outfit caught my eyes, it was fucking gorgeous, I would slay in this shit. A simple plain black crop-top and a pair of denim shorts, oh hell yeah I'd look fucking badass in this shit. I grabbed the bits of clothing, taking off my pjs and then realized the next problem. Bras. How the fuck did women wear this shit? all these hooks and stuff were confusing. I dealt with the underwear and shorts first, that same pleasant tingle returned in my stomach when I put the clothes on..why was wearing girl clothing so enjoyable? I was a guy wasn't I? And its not like I was a twink or something either, I was a 100% straight, cis guy..right? 

After about 5 minutes of struggling with this fucking bra I had gotten it on, so I slipped the crop top on, grabbed the bag sitting on a chair and raced back downstairs, this time taking it one step at a time, instead of 5. A quite annoyed goblin was standing on a stool in the kitchen, she looked quite similar to how I looked now, just a bit taller and her hair was slightly more combed, I say slightly cause it was still quite wild. Well of course she did she was me mum...where had that thought come from? The goblin, my mother, looked down at me.

"Fuckin' hell that took you a long time. Grab some fuckin toast or some shit and get to school. I aint dealing with the school whining about you being late on your first day." I grabbed an apple, it'd do and headed for the door.

"Oi, you aint gonna leave without saying anything ya lil shit?" Mum shouted, grumbling.

"Yeah yeah, love ya cunt" I shouted back at her. Where had that come from? I didn't usually swear, guess it came with the goblin form?

"Love ya too ya lil shit" She retorted, almost playfully. Of fucking course it was playful she was me mum, its just how goblins showed affection, and anger, any literally every emotion, lots of profanity.

Well off to school it was. I crunched down on the apple, sharp teeth biting through the core. Hm, tasted pretty good. As I walked, knowing where to go for some reason I looked around at the world, it was, odd to say the least. It seemed to be some sort of sub-urban area, but there were no cars, people either used carriages, which seemed to be pulled by centaurs, guess they were like this words uber, or they just walked. This'd take some getting used to, I mean there doesn't seem to be any way to return to my old world..a smile tugged at my lips.

There didn't seem to be a way to return to my old world.