A constant beep pounded against my ears, I groaned, forcing my heavy eyelids open. I could see clean, sterile white walls, a heart monitor was the source of that annoying beeping...I was in a hospital. I looked down..no, No no no! I was fucking human again...I was a fucking guy again. No, this was a dream, this was a fucking dream, it had to be! Tears began streaming down my cheek, I wanted to go back..I had to go back..please...don't let this be happening...

"Mr..Aiden? Ah, good to see you're awake, how are you feeling?" The nurse looked at me, smiling kindly..I didn't respond. I didn't want to fucking accept it, I didn't want to fucking accept I was back! I noticed a gift basket next to me, probably from that girl I saved...I didn't fucking care...I want to die..I want to go back.

"Are you feeling alright dear? Do you need some painkillers?" The nurse questioned, I still stayed quiet, still crying. How the fuck was I meant to put this into words, to say I wanted to die?! They'd throw me in a fucking psych ward! She looked at me, concerned. I had to say some fucking thing..

"..guessing dad didn't visit?" She shook her head.

"Um, no, your father didn't visit..but, are you feeling ok?" Of course, of course that fucking bastard didn't visit. Probably fought I was pathetic for not beating a guy with a fucking knife. I was never fucking good enough for that cunt...and I thought I had finally escaped him...Maybe I should just fucking see if dying sends me back.

"..doesn't matter, should've pulled the plug." The nurse's eyes widened, fucks sake she shouldn't have to deal with my shit. I sighed, looking to the side.

"Look, just..fucking i don't know, leave me." She nodded..fuck why couldn't I talk to anyone?! I always fucking did this, pushed people away, was rude as fuck for no bloody reason!..I couldn't handle this...I couldn't be back here..why..why did I have to come back?! Why couldn't whatever fucking god is in charge of this shitty universe let me be happy?! I pulled my knees to my face, sobbing...the tears came so easy now..now that I knew what I was missing, and what I'd never fucking get back.

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I awoke in a cold sweat, my cheeks stained with tears. I panted, looking around..purple walls..green skin..tits...it was just a dream..just a bad..fucking dream..but what if it was real? What if I woke up someday, back in that fucking stupid world...please...please don't let that happen..My breathing was loud, shaky..fuck I was a mess...just..gods please..don't let that become real..