“PLEASE!”

“Erm…”

“PLEASE, keep this a secret from everyone else!” a person pleaded desperately, in a small corner of the front of a neighborhood cafe.

“I, uh…” the other person stammered, unable to form coherent sentences in response to what was unfolding before them.

“Please…” the person in front of them continued to plead. “Please keep it a secret from the others that I’m… a guy?” He mustered his brightest, most pity-enticing smile yet.

“I…” the begged person in question continued to waver, as the exposed beggar looked at them with desperate hope. “I…!”

 

•  

 

A room, stagnantly silent.  The faint smell of orange juice wafting through the air, producing an oddly comfortable aroma. An ambivalent ambiance of harmless homeyness that permeates the well-kept home of a person living on their own. The silence is slowly broken by the sound of a keyboard clacking. A person, smiling, opened a chatting application on his computer and started typing away.

 

Dove:                    So… the last chapter of “Salarywoman and Runaway” got me on edge…

Matsuri:               Aaaah! I get what you mean! I can’t believe she’d run away a second time!

Autumn:              And from her real home now too….

Edelweiss:           Yeah. We really don’t know what to expect from this manga. But I think that’s why I like it so much.

Autumn:              Haha, agreed.

Matsuri:               Edel’s always bringing up heavy stuff lol

Edelweiss:           Well… I mean it was a heavy chapter… are you sure you’re just not the one who’s taking it too lightly, Matsu? Hmm~?

Dove:                    Hghh please stop fighting ><

Autumn:              You girls are always entertaining, getting all worked up over the smallest of things, haha.

Matsuri:               But isn’t that what makes this group so fun!! >w<

Edelweiss:           I think that’s just an excuse for you to be rowdy lol.

 

Sitting on a chair in the middle of the nondescript room was, a thin, relatively tall brunet with blue eyes, wearing a warm hoodie as he continues to type on his keyboard. As he read the words on the screen, a smile slowly etched itself on his face.

It had almost been 3 months since he’s begun speaking with the three girls he had met on a yuri forum site regularly. At first, they were strangers, who found each other online due to all liking Japanese lesbian comics. Soon, their similar tastes and mutual appreciation for the fashion, food, and aesthetics featured in the manga they were reading led them to get closer as friends and branch out into their own group.

For the boy in question, it was almost a miracle. He’d always had bad luck with forming groups of close friends. This was his first time managing it for a while. He really loved every second of it. If he had only one wish though, it would be that-

 

Dove:                    I want to meet everyone.

 

A deafening silence washed upon the room and started slowly converting into pressure as he haphazardly pressed the enter button. He had accidentally posted his private thoughts. Panicking, he decided to delete the message before anyone could hear it—but it wasn’t to be.

 

Matsuri:               Woooh, that’s a great idea!

Autumn:              I’m definitely in, but only if Edel stops trolling Dove and Matsu, haha

Edelweiss:           Oh that’s rich coming from you lol. But yeah, I agree! In fact, how about we set up the date now?

Matsuri:               This is gonna be so exciting! Thank you for bringing it up Dovey!! ^^

 

However, “Dove” could not reply, as both his hands were preoccupied with sheltering his bright red face. “I… can’t believe I did that” he thought. “I can’t believe I typed that out accidentally… I thought this kinda stuff only happened in manga…” he curled up on his chair. For a socially anxious introvert like him, this was a nightmare scenario.

“I mean… I do want to meet them…” he continued to contemplate “and it’s not like I haven’t had offline meetups before with other groups… it’s just that…” he sunk deeper into his chair “They know me… as a girl… because of that one time Matsu mistook me as one… then I felt awkward denouncing it after going with it for so long. I mean, how could I??? It was a group of girls who are fans of girl’s love! If I reveal myself, I’d just be an intruder, wouldn’t I? I would have been kicked out of the group!” he panicked, screaming to himself in his head.

“Ugh… I guess I could cancel… or just not join… mmmh….” He deliberated as he slowly, but surely, reached back onto his keyboard. He started typing the words “Nevermind” before stopping and looking towards his closet. He gulped and walked over to it. Timidly, he opened a small compartment on the lower part of his closet and gulped yet again. A nervous, almost desperate half smile appeared on his face. “…or… maybe… I could try…. ‘that’” he mumbled to himself.

 

•  

 

A small café at the edge of town, known for its homey atmosphere, fine brews, and relatively manageable crowd hosted a peculiar group one sunny day. One of them in particular stood out. Overalls, a neutral color. Accentuating a feminine aura yet not showing off too much of the figure, on top of a simple women’s shirt. Because it was designed to fit a woman, it looks and feels more feminine as well, hugging the body and having slightly shorter sleeves. A black choker that conceals any blemishes on the neck, light makeup that covers up for the wear and tear of daily life, and hair ornaments that signify female youth. The brunette sitting on the table was, if only visually, undoubtedly a girl.

“What the fuck am I doing?!”

The crossdressing brunet hiding his sheer panic and internal screaming under a heavily practiced smile, questioned himself as he took in his surroundings. The rustic café had an assortment of meals and treats. Famously similar to a setting in a chapter in “Salarywoman and Runaway”.

“Are you doing well, Dove?” The blonde, long haired, conservatively cute fashioned maiden beside Dove said with a gentle voice.

“I-I-I yeah. Sorry, just a bit nervous is all! Haha” Dove answered awkwardly.

“Autumn, don’t bother her. She just needs time.” the girl with dyed red hair in tomboyish clothing across from him said, before smirking. “Besides, I think her flustered face is kinda cute.”

“Ahaha! Edel! You keep making her blush!” the final piece of the puzzle—a fashionable young girl in a trendy dress and lots of makeup with hair so ginger it might as well be orange—scolded Edelweiss.

“How the heck are they all so pretty?!” Dove thought as he slowly regained his composure from Edel’s teasing. “I can’t believe a meetup of four nerds would end up this hot…. 3 gorgeous girls… and… a horrible, lying crossdresser.” He continued, dealing psychological damage to himself.

“Heh, sorry. I guess this place’s gotten me excited. It’s really similar to the café from ‘Salarywoman and Runaway’, huh?” Edel said as she leaned back on her seat.

“It definitely is! I really couldn’t believe it! I thought for sure cafés like this didn’t exist in real life!” Matsuri chipped in enthusiastically.

“Mhm. I’m appreciative as well. You did a great job picking out this place, Dove. It seems you’re really resourceful.” Autumn added, smiling softly.

Dove blushed slightly and just fluttered his eyes as he looked down and fidgeted. “Oh… it’s nothing really… I just browsed some recommendations on a few forums…” He tried to say in the most feminine voice he could muster.

“Still, that’s pretty aweso- Ah, sorry, I need to go take this call! Be back in a jiffy!” Matsuri notified the others as she vacated the premises temporarily, giving Dove enough time to stabilize.

“But really Dove. Thank you for today. I’ve been dying to see you all, and I am so glad that I am finally able to. I’d love to make this a regular occurrence,” Autumn said with a glowing, warm smile.

“Yeah. Turns out talking about manga and stuff is a lot nicer in person. Nice to see you all, and kinda tease you in person too, haha. We should definitely make this regular! Right Dove?” Edelweiss said with a charming, princely grin.

Dove, caught between a rock and a hard place, tried hard to break free from the pressure, but inevitably failed and relented. “A-Alright… I think we can do that…” He answered in defeat.

“Nice!” the two girls at the table almost said in unison, as Dove sighs and starts looking at the receipt to check on their order number. “…huh, the receipt isn’t here…” he remarked. 

“Must’ve been with Matsu. She’s outside taking a call, right? We can wait for her to come back.” Edelweiss commented.

Dove shook his head and replied “Nah, I need some fresh air anyways, haha. I’ll go get it from her… besides… I’m worried that… well… you know… we miss our order number?”

Autumn nodded. “That’s a good idea. I’m sure she won’t mind being bothered for one second to take the receipt back inside.”

Dove nodded back before slowly standing up. He started walking cautiously to the door, and finally arrived outside. He started to look around and spotted Matsuri in the corner. He decided at that moment to try and be more social and playful and snuck up on her, intending to surprise her. As luck would have it, however, he was the one who was left shocked in the end.

“Thanks Auntie. I owe you big time.” A reasonably deep, husky voice echoed. However, it was not that fact in and of itself which had shocked Dove, but instead, the cute, lipstick decorated mouth it came out of. Moments later, those same lips would face him, trembling, and accompanied by mutual internal screams and concurrent panicking gazes from the two.

 

•  

 

“Like I said!” Matsuri explained desperately. “I was just pretending to be a girl online for convenience, okay?? Convenience! Not many boys like crossdressing or dressing up femininely, you know?? I have legit safety reasons to do it!”

Dove merely stood there, motionless, still in shock.

“Oh come on, you don’t agree that being the only guy in an all-girls GL fan group when I pretended to be a girl the whole time isn’t even a little bit suspicious or concerning??”

Dove immediately received a huge amount of psychological damage from that sentence before stabilizing and being able to nod. The gears of his mind started working and he understood several things: First, it was likely a good idea to keep this secret from the others, for no other reason than to avoid panic in the group. Second, this guy in front of him was a comrade! Someone who is doing the same exact thing as him. If they got along and knew each other’s secret, then they could navigate the group as allies and form an immutable secret bond!

Imagining all this, Dove managed to smile slightly as he prepared to reveal himself to the person in front of him, formulating the words in his head and opening his lips. As he does so, he says-

“Of course! Your gal’s got your back! Your secret is safe with me!”

Silence filled the air for a moment. Dove’s face slowly turned red before Matsuri smiled brightly and hugged him tight, repeatedly thanking him. Dove could only react as naturally as he could and awkwardly embraced him back, patting his back a bit.

Meanwhile, he gazed blankly towards the distance. At that moment, in his head, aside from excruciatingly loud mental screaming, there was only one thought in Dove’s mind:

 

“Why…

Why on earth did I say that?!’