I unwrapped my scarf from my neck, shaking the snow off of it before stuffing it in my coat pocket. Then I yawned and stretched in my seat, in an arrivals lounge at Calgary International Airport, trying to stay awake enough to catch up on Let's Go! Nippon! Moriko-chan and Friends on my phone.

It's ... not very good. I can't recommend it to anyone. It's basically propaganda for the government of Japan's express immigration program. You know, the one where they turn you into a Japanese girl?

The one my girlfriend took advantage of a few months ago, because gender and culture dysphoria were literally killing her.

We used to live together, and now I get like one or two emails a week from Kaminari. Always in simple English, since it's like her brain swapped its native language around when she got TSed, which is Japanese for TGed. They decided she was like seventeen afterwards, so she's going to high school for a year? And when she graduates, she's going to have to find a Japanese man to marry, or at least a cock to get impregnated by.

(Apparently Prime Minister Shinzo Abe considered TSing people a more reasonable solution to Japan's aging population than, you know, not treating millennials and Chinese and Korean immigrants like crap. But hey, at least they've got pop idols and cheesy anime to promote it!)

Anyway, Kaminari insists on communicating with me in English. Here I am doing my best to learn Japanese for her, and I have to practice on Twitter 'cause she wants to learn English to spoil her boyfriend. Which, speaking of Twitter, you wouldn't believe how fast live videos took over Japanese TSF fandom, once they figured out how to do it to each other.

In theory, all you need is for someone who knows you really well to pick out the perfect song, and have you listen to it. In practice, that's easier said than done. Some people are just more susceptible to it than others, to the point where it can even happen by accident.

I'm pretty sure it's been happening a lot more often lately, though? Not just TG / TSF stuff, but literally wild stuff, like people turning into furries. Uh, not that I'd know anything about that or anything.

It just seems like this is becoming A Thing, faster than anyone would have expected. A handful of countries already have procedures in place where you can update your vital records after getting transformed, including Canada. Which is good, because Kaminari kind of needed a new passport after it happened to her. Otherwise she wouldn't be able to re-enter the country, like she was about to do at this airport.

Where was I? Oh right, Moriko-chan. It's an anime about someone who gets TSed into a Japanese girl as part of the program. She lives in Tokyo and goes to school and crushes on boys and stuff, while learning about Japanese culture. It's incredibly cheesy and saccharine, basically slice of life with no drama beyond "does he like me or not?" Seriously, the whole thing is made of clichés.

So why can't I stop watching it?!

I paused the video and looked over my shoulders, making sure no one was watching me, before starting it up again. My cheeks burned red. I have bought and paid for H-manga before, but this freaking show is my guiltiest pleasure.

Did I find it ... pleasurable? That was a weird thought. I mean, I wasn't really turned on by it. I was just ... getting something out of it. I guess. But what?

"Hello!"

"Gack!" At the sound of my girlfriend's voice I fumbled the phone, but managed to catch it before it fell to the floor. I quickly turned it off and stuffed my earbuds in my pocket, before standing up and bowing to her. "Welcome to Canada!"

Kaminari giggled, as she stood up from her own bow. "You mean 'welcome back,' silly. This is my home, too."

She was skinny and spindly, but shorter than even I was, and she had kind of this air of determination around her? Like she just knew there was no problem that she couldn't solve. Her long brown hair spilled over her cream-coloured sweater, and she had just a hint of an accent and spoke more slowly than I did.

"Heh, right ... " I blushed, and looked away. "Also, uh, season's greetings?"

"Happy solstice ~ "

She mangled the word just a bit, but then she hugged me and gave me a peck on the cheek, making me blush even more. She felt so much more delicate, and at the same time so much stronger, than before.

"Oh! Did you come in a car?" she asked, after letting go.

"Uh, no ... "

She nodded, in sort of a miniature bow. "That is okay. We can take the bus." Then she turned around and waved, calling out to someone in Japanese. 「Rei! Over here!」

I froze, at the sound of her name. The girl who'd been TGed into my anime crush, Rei Ayanami from Evangelion, and had picked out the song to transform Kaminari. She was here? What?!

Then I looked up, and had to suppress a giggle. I knew she liked to bundle up, to keep people from recognizing her, but wow. She had gone overboard. She was wearing a hooded winter coat and a snowsuit, plus a wool scarf and a toque and sunglasses, even though it was night outside.

She was also pulling two rolling suitcases behind her.

"I am sorry, she wanted to carry mine." Kaminari bowed to me apologetically, as though by instinct.

I moved closer and whispered to my girlfriend, once she stood up. "Why is she here?"

Kaminari gave me an awkward smile. "She had no one to spend Christmas or New Year's with. So I told her she can spend Christmas with mom and dad, and New Year's with kaasan and tousan!" That's how she referred to the elderly Japanese couple that had sort of adopted her. "I got permission, of course."

"Do you know where she's staying?"

"Eh?"

Rei bowed, once she got up to where we were. "Task complete. Awaiting further instructions."

I gave my girlfriend an even more confused look.

"Ah, she, ahh ... she likes to follow instructions!" Kaminari grinned sheepishly.

"I follow Mistress' instructions," Rei clarified.

"Mistress?!"

"Yes, we, ah ... " Kaminari put one hand behind her head, blushing hard and looking away. "You and I, we agreed that we can both date other people, so ... "

" ... I thought you were straight?" Now I was more confused than anything else.

Kaminari blushed even harder, still grinning. "So did I."

---

Kaminari explained, as we walked out into the freezing cold covered parking lot and boarded the bus. "Rei kept checking in on me after transforming me, to make sure I was adjusting well. I talked to her to help me practice my English, and as time passed we both realized that ... "

"That Mistress is wonderful," Rei said from inside her parka, and struggled to lift Kaminari's huge suitcase onto the luggage rack in the bus.

I helped her with it, seeing her in that moment as just a fellow traveller (and my girlfriend's partner). "Daijoubu desu?" I asked her, after I finished hauling it into place.

"Yes," she said.

I blinked, and realized what I'd just said without thinking about it. "Uh, sorry ... "

"Hai," she said, and bowed slightly before she went to join Kaminari.

I facepalmed once she turned around. Why had I asked if she was okay in Japanese? Was it because I'd been marathoning that anime? Was the Japanese-language part of my brain on high alert? Or was it just racism on my part? Dear Goddess, don't let it be racism.

I went back to join the two of them, in the row of seats that faced each other. They'd taken the seats facing forward, so I sat on one of the seats facing back ... across from my recently-TSed girlfriend, and my 90's anime crush.

My anime crush sniffled, and spent a few seconds trying to dig through her pockets with mittens on, before Kaminari handed her a tissue. Rei took it, and blew her nose loudly.

"So, where were we?" Kaminari asked me, still smiling. There was hardly anyone else in the bus, so she didn't have to speak up much to be heard.

"We were talking about Mistress, and how she is amazing." Rei sniffled again, still holding on to her wet tissue.

"No, no, you are amazing, Rei!" Kaminari turned to face her girlfriend. "You're the reason I can speak English right now!"

"I'm also the reason that you forgot how."

"Ah, it couldn't be helped." My girlfriend blushed, as she turned back towards me. "I am sorry for not telling you in our emails. We only just ... " Her eyes went towards the ceiling, like she was searching it for the words. "We started dating this month? It was so sudden, and there were so many tests at school in that time. And I was afraid that kaasan was reading my emails to you ... I saw her look at my phone earlier."

"Your Japanese mom doesn't like yuri?" I asked.

"I ... I don't know, I'm just ... " She looked down at the edge of the window, trying to mask her sudden nervousness.

"We are not out to her Japanese parents," Rei explained. "They think that we are good friends."

I nodded. "What about her Canadian parents? Doesn't their church, like-"

The bus driver started the engine just then, cutting me off. I thought I heard Rei's muffled voice say something in response.

"Nan- er, what?" I asked her, still nervous.

Her scarf shifted a little, and I couldn't hear what she said.

Blushing hard now, I leaned in as close as I dared and put one hand to my ear. "Could you repeat that?" I asked.

Rei leaned forward a bit, and said "I explained things to them." I think. Her voice was so quiet, and she didn't raise it at all once the engine started.

Then the bus pulled out of the parking lot, and I had to pull myself back to my seat really fast so I didn't faceplant on her, Shinji-style.

---

It was like a half-hour ride across two separate buses to get back to my apartment, and I tried to help Kaminari and Rei figure out where Rei would be staying. Apparently Rei only had a vague idea of how motels worked, and didn't know what a reservation was ... which was bad, considering that it was only a couple of days 'till Christmas.

I didn't know if it was because she was Japanese, or because she was Rei.

Either way, that left us with two options: Kaminari's parents' house, or my one-bedroom apartment. (Naturally, my parents' place was out of the question.)

"I will stay wherever Mistress desires," Rei told me, through several layers of padding.

"What?"

"She says I get to decide!" Kaminari said, over the engine noise. "Eclair, is it alright if she sleeps in your apartment?"

... she calls me that because she thinks it sounds "sweeter" than Claire.

"Uh, yeah ... " I tugged at my scarf, trying to conceal my blush. "Yeah, I can get out the inflatable mattress."

But which of us would be sleeping on it, I wondered?

There would be time to deal with that later, I guessed. Just, like, not too much later, since it was already late at night.

Anyway, the first order of business once we arrived was to drag both suitcases up two flights of stairs. Rei wanted to do it herself, but I was pretty sure the larger one was like 80 percent of her body weight, so I took it for her and-

"That one is Mistress'," Rei said, holding tightly to it. "You can take mine."

... so I took the much smaller one up the stairs, climbing them slowly behind her. Because she was really struggling to carry that thing, lifting it up so she didn't drag its wheels on the floor or thump it on each stair.

I was just trying to make sure she didn't fall down and die, so it didn't occur to me that I'd been staring at her butt the whole time until I was unlocking the door. Not that you could actually see it, I thought, and stole another glance at the walking parka beside me.

Was she shaking, or was I?

After a few unsteady tries, I managed to get the door open, and stood aside for my anime crush and my TSed Japanese girlfriend.

There was no "Tadaima!" or anything. They stepped cautiously over the threshold into the dark entryway, and I entered behind them and turned on the light as we all took off our wet shoes.

Kaminari looked around, at the small living and dining area she'd left a few months ago. I'd made sure to get everything cleaned up for her, but she seemed ... concerned. "No Christmas, um ... "

"Presents," Rei said.

My girlfriend shook her head.

"Tree."

She shook her head "no."

"Lights?"

I winced. "That's all over at her parents' house. I don't celebrate it."

"Ah ... " Kaminari blinked, as though remembering something from her past life. "That is right, I was the one who did all that."

I nodded, slowly.

Just how much did she remember, I wondered? How much of my girlfriend Tara was in there, and how much was Kaminari Inoue? Did she remember her life here as a dream? As something that happened to someone else? Was coming home to Canada, for her, like entering a foreign country?

Rei was taking off her clothes.

"Aah, hold on!" I looked up, startled. "Don't you need to, like ... "

False alarm, I realized. She was just wearing so many layers, I didn't realize it'd take her so long to get all of her winter gear off.

"Yes, I do." She looked over at Kaminari. "Mistress, I request permission to bathe."

"Ah, um ... " Kaminari gave me a helpless look, and leaned in close to whisper to me. "What did she say?"

I took a second to think how to say it, then whispered back "Shawā o shitai."

"Aa, dōzō!" Kaminari nodded to Rei. Rei nodded back, and resumed pulling off her damp hoodie over her head. I got a brief glimpse of her pale, flat belly, before she finished and tugged her top back down.

Dear goddess. This was really her, wasn't it? Maybe Evas didn't exist, but this blue-haired waif was somehow the same girl I'd written that self-insert smut about years ago. If she actually dressed the part, she could win any cosplay contest in a heartbeat.

Wait, had she uploaded her own pics as "cosplay?" Had I seen her before, on the internet? Hell, what if I'd bought her nudes?! Fffffffffffff-

She put a hand to her face and coughed, over and over again, wincing as though in pain. Kaminari hurried to her side and put an arm around her, asking if she was okay and waiting for her to stop coughing and nod before letting go.

Rei crouched next to her open suitcase and got out some clothes, before standing up and bowing to her Mistress. "I will now take a shower," she said, still facing the floor. "I will try not to take long."

I tried not to look at her butt, which was on display since Kaminari was on the other side of her from me.

"Okay!" my girlfriend said, and patted Rei on the head before letting her stand up. Then Kaminari sat down on the couch, and gave me an expectant look as Rei brushed past me on the way to the bathroom.

I kind of froze up for that, and it wasn't until the door closed and locked that I registered my girlfriend's smiling face. Or at least, that this cute, smiling face belonged to someone who had been my girlfriend at one point ... and who still wanted to be mine.

Blushing, and remembering how I felt about those idols' promotional videos, I took a seat next to her. She scooted closer, hugging me tightly, and I blushed hard as I returned the favour.

"So, um." I was searching for words here, as we let go. "How's life been treating you?"

"How has ... ?" She looked up at me, confused.

My mind blanked.

"How have I been?"

I nodded, still blushing. Trying not to think about how small and cute and huggable she was.

"Ah, I've been good! Travel was fun, although as for Rei, she almost fainted ... "

"Holy crap." My eyes widened.

"She was losing a lot of ... water? On the plane."

"Was she wearing all of that the whole time?" I pointed at the pile of clothes next to her open suitcase.

"I'm afraid so." Kaminari nodded solemnly.

"I guess that explains the smell ... " Her wet garments were pretty rank.

Kaminari giggled, and I did too.

"So, I guess you weren't able to tell me all of your plans?"

She gave me another confused look.

"Um, because your parents were reading your emails?"

"Ah!" She nodded. "Yes, I could not tell you everything that was going on. We, Rei and I, we want to be together ... "

I nodded slowly.

"But I also want to be with you. I don't know how, but I do. You've been there for ... for me? For Tara? I cannot tell which is which sometimes ... " She winced. "But I want to have you in my life so much, which is why I am learning English!"

"You're very good at it," I said. "Much better than I am at Japanese. But like, I meant what are your plans for staying in Japan with Rei? I assume she's a citizen-"

Kaminari nodded.

"-but they want you to marry a Japanese man or have babies, right? How are you going to do that?"

My girlfriend put her hand on my leg, and looked up at me with a shy smile. "I was hoping you could help with that."

"Wait ... " Somehow, in between reading the self-censored emails where she'd slowly re-taught herself English, this had never occurred to me. "I mean, I can't marry you for this, so you want me to ... "

She nodded, still smiling and blushing now.

"Is that, like ... does that even work?"

"It does work! So long as the child is born in Japan." She grinned, and I stared down in shock, at the real live Japanese schoolgirl who was asking me to have sex with her.

Wait. Was she considered a schoolgirl for purposes of, like ... "I wouldn't go to jail for that, would I?!"

"I won't tell if you won't ~ " She put a finger to her chin.

"Oh geeze." I double-facepalmed, blushing furiously. "Okay, but like, who's even going to raise the child? Are you and Rei planning to move in together and stuff?"

"Yes!" Kaminari nodded. "Rei has enough salary to take care of the both of us, as well as-"

Something clattered in the bathroom, before Rei opened the door and walked up to us in her underwear. Kaminari gasped, and I did a double-take before staring down at my feet.

Rei bowed deeply, and spoke facing the floor again. "Mistress, I must ask you once again not to do this. Please do not give birth to a-"

The next word she said made no sense in context. Why was she talking about Hafu, the Hearthstone streamer?

Kaminari swatted her lightly. "Rei, that is so racist! Why should I ask another man to give me his child, when Eclair is so good to me?"

That's a good question, I thought, in the part of my brain that hadn't been stunned into shock.

"Because if the father is white, then the child will suffer."

Kaminari took a deep breath, then leaned over to me. "Ah, what did she-"

Rei started speaking to her in Japanese. Then Kaminari answered her in Japanese, much too quickly for me to follow, and their words just sort of washed over me as I stared down at my feet.

At first, I did my best to pick out words or sentences that I understood. But I understood only one in ten at best, and the ones that I could pick out were confusing. Did they know someone in Osaka named Naomi? What did she have to do with this?

They went on for what seemed like awhile, and the longer they went the more it felt like my heart was freezing and burning up at the same time. Everything was awkward and ... and painful? It hurt to listen to this, and not just because I'd been cockblocked. It just ... hurt. To know that I didn't belong in their world, because that's what I was now. An outsider. An "outside-country-person," even in my own home, no matter how welcoming all the anime had appeared.

I was so tired.

I got up and walked to the bedroom. Kaminari called for me at first, but then Rei said something in Japanese and the two of them went right back to arguing.

I fell asleep still hearing them go at it in the other room.

---

I woke up alone. It was already light out, and I could see patches of sunlight on the wall, where it'd slipped through the curtains. The apartment was completely silent.

I sighed, and covered my face with my hand.

I hadn't set an alarm, and after staying up so late I'd probably slept in. But my phone was on the desk, and I didn't want to get up and get it ... bleah. Didn't Kaminari have some family thing to go to, today? I couldn't hear anyone out in the kitchen, or washing up in the bathroom, so I guessed she and Rei must have already gone to it.

There were reasons I didn't go to family stuff with her. Starting with the time a few years ago that I'd yelled at her parents for misgendering her. I'm told that they've gotten better since then, but why take the chance? Just talking to them brings back that look Kaede gave me, when she called me "(DEADNAME)'s gay boyfriend." And all the judgment that implied.

I'd been prepared to come with her anyway, just in case she needed someone to translate ... but I guessed Rei could do that for her now.

(It did not occur to me that the Taras probably spoke Japanese, because I had never seen them do so. Regardless of what they look like, they are the whitest, churchiest people I know. Sort of like my parents, except that they'd never-)

I needed to pee.

I got up, went across the short hallway and took care of my business, then brought a glass of water back to my room without stepping on Rei's discarded clothes. I left the door open to get some fresh air in, then unfolded my tablet on my desk and tried to figure out what to do today. It was winter break, but solstice was two days ago, so I didn't have anything to celebrate or anyone to celebrate it with. At the moment, anyway.

I drummed my fingers on the desk, as my eyes went over the new icon on the screen. I'd installed a demo of Final Fantasy XIV a few days ago ... to, um, try out the character creator. But then I'd gotten caught up in watching Moriko-chan, and that'd been embarrassing enough.

I looked around, checking to make sure no one had snuck into my room and could see what I was about to do. Then I put on my headphones, and launched the demo.

A few minutes later, I actually brought myself to click on the "female" icon. I tried each of the different species in turn, then froze when I saw what Keepers of the Moon looked like. They were catgirls, with the softest, roundest ... um, most Asian-coded faces. Okay? This is what they looked like.

I adjusted her height, her tail's length, even her ... um, her bust size. And the whole time there was this strange feeling. I mean, it was partly arousal, but it was also something like awe. If I had to put it into words it'd be something like, "Is this really me? Am I really allowed to be this? I can just walk in here looking like this, and no one's going to stop me or question me?"

"Why do I get to be this person?"

"There's no way I deserve this."

I stared at her fully-dressed form for awhile, listening to the soft background music and wondering if it could change me into her. Cat ears and tail optional.

Hmm, I thought. What if the music from this game could turn me into someone like her? I giggled nervously at the thought. Then I saved my character, closed the game, and looked up its OST online. Because if that was going to happen, I told myself, I at least didn't want to be surprised by it in the middle of a raid.

It was a perfectly legitimate thing to worry about, these days!

A couple web searches later, and I was watching a YouTube video of this intense, underground 8-person boss fight, with a heart-pounding metal soundtrack. What a way to wake up in the morning, huh? I found myself bouncing up and down in my chair, practically dancing to it as I hit replay. And when I saw there were lyrics posted, I started singing along:

Wrought from the rock that stands upon old
With a heart of black and a stare that's cold

Cold are the hands that grasp at your soul
'Fore the graves are dug and the death knells toll

Tempered in the flows of the mountain's core
Where the rage runs red 'twixt shore and shore

Shorn from the world of the blazing sun
Bound to the dark, for the light I shun!

(My curtains were still drawn, heh.)

The next part was screaming "BOW DOWN OVERDWELLER" over and over again, which was really fun for some reason! Until I looked down and saw Rei bowing to me, kneeling with her head touching the floor.

I'm glad I sprang for the wireless headphones, because I would've gotten strangled in the cords the way I panicked and flailed all of a sudden. "BWAH! What the- I thought you were ... ?!"

I sputtered and started a half-dozen more sentences without finishing them, before I tore off the headphones and stood up. Finally I looked down at her and exclaimed "What are you doing here?!"

"Belatedly saying good morning to you ... Master."

---

The first thing I did was look over to Inari-sama, and silently beg the wooden plaque over my bed for help (and thank her that I'd gone to bed fully clothed).

The next thing I did was "order" Rei to stand up and go out of the room for the moment, and close the door behind her.

After that I adjusted my underwear and fought my arousal back down, telling myself "I'm not in a harem anime. I'm not in a harem anime. I'm not in a harem anime!"

Once my heart had stopped beating so quickly (and delivering so much blood to certain places), I stood up on shaky legs. Then I went to the door to my room, took a deep breath, and opened it and walked out ...

... smacking right into Rei in the process. "BWAH!"

"Ow." She rubbed her forehead.

"What the ... I told you to ... ?!"

"You did not tell me to do anything else afterwards, so I stayed here."

" ... "

"I also agree with you, Master, that the evidence suggests you are not in a harem anime." She said that with a straight face. "Although given that I am an anime character, you may want to regard what I have to say on the subject with skepticism."

I stared at her for a moment, before rubbing my eyes and groaning. "I need some coffee."

She insisted on making it for me, of course. I followed her out to the kitchen, and waited until she'd turned on the kettle before asking "So what is up with the, uh, 'Master' thing?"

"Mistress was upset with me for calling your potential child a racial slur, and said that if she is my Mistress then you are also my Master. Based on that, she says, I should not object to your coupling."

It was way too early in my day for me to be blushing this hard. "Ummm ... "

Rei spooned out instant coffee into a mug, then put the lid back on the jar.

Something occurred to me, just then. "Is that why you're, uh ... "

"Here, and not out with Mistress?"

I nodded.

"Mistress said she did not want to take me to anything until I had made up with you." Rei knelt, and bowed with her head touching the floor in between my feet. "I sincerely apologize for coming in between you and your lover," she said. "It will not happen again."

The kettle started to boil.

"I am also sorry for my poor English."

"Your, uh ... " I was trying so hard not to get aroused, or think about the implications of being Rei's "Master." Or how she was technically in between my legs right now. "Your English is great, you, uh ... you wanna stand up now? Maybe?"

"Yes, Master." She did so, and ignored the hand that I offered her.

"I'll, uh ... " I squirmed, standing up. "I'll sit down in the living room, okay?"

"Yes, Master."

"Feel free to like, join me! And stuff. When the coffee's ready."

"Understood, Master." She bowed as I left the room.

I flopped onto the couch, then put one leg over the other to try to hide my arousal. Hoo boy, this was going to be an interesting day.

---

A minute or two later, I was sharing the couch with Rei Ayanami in her fuzzy pajamas and house slippers. The sheets Kaminari had covered it with were folded neatly on the coffee table, but I didn't see the inflatable mattress anywhere ... had Rei just shared the couch with her? Or had she slept on the floor?

I wasn't sure how to bring that up.

She wasn't saying anything though, so I cleared my throat and thanked her for the coffee, stealing the tiniest glance over at her. "It's not bad!"

"I just used the creamer in the refrigerator, Master."

"Okay, so, um, about that, Miss Ayanami ... " I coughed again, and squirmed with my legs still crossed. "Can you like, uh, not call me that? Maybe?"

"As you wish. You may call me Rei, if you like."

"That's ... that's good! I'm glad that we've got the basics down." I'd only taken a sip of the coffee, but I was burning up on the inside. "Call, uh, call me Claire!"

"Understood, Claire. May I ask you a question?"

A nervous glance confirmed that she was looking at me. "S-sure!"

"What pronouns do you use?"

"I, uh-" Wow, my brain just froze up at that. But why? It was such a simple question! Maybe unusual for some people, but not when you're used to dealing with trans folk, like both of us were.

She was still looking at me expectantly.

I swallowed. "C-call me whatever you like?"

"Understood." She nodded. "I will default to 'they' pronouns, then."

I let out my breath. That didn't feel right, but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to tell her to use guy pronouns for me. Was it because I'd been playing that character creator?

"I ask because it is my understanding that Claire is a name not typically used by men."

"It is so a guy's name!" I huffed. I had been very careful to pick a new first name that could be used by guys. Even if all the examples on Wikipedia had been born before 1950.

"Understood, Claire. I am sorry if I have offended you." She lowered her head for a moment.

"Yeah, uh, about that ... " I was still thinking about last night.

"Mistress specifically asked me not to interrupt while she spends time with you." Rei still had her head lowered. "I remain concerned about the safety of your future child. But I-"

"Wait. You're worried about their safety?" Now I was the one looking to her for answers.

Rei nodded.

"Why?"

"It would require a long explanation. Are you sure that you want to hear it?"

"Yes!"

Rei took a deep breath, and told me her story.

---

This is what I remember of it, along with the blanks that she's filled in since then:

A handful of years ago (she didn't say how many), an American serviceman married his Japanese wife on a US military base. A year or so later, they had a child who was half-white and half-Japanese.

The child was raised with strict discipline. Their parents could be loving and caring, but whenever the child stepped out of line they were slapped or shamed by their mother, and beaten by their father.

The family was transferred to military bases in Guam, the US, and even in Europe, before the father retired from the military in his forties. They moved back to Japan, to build a life for themselves and their child.

By this time, the child was 11 and spoke mostly English, along with a handful of German and Japanese words. They were put into Japanese public school, where they were humiliated by the teachers and bullied by most of the students in their class. People called them a racial slur that translates to "half-breed," or would talk to them in English just to insult them.

To escape, they watched a lot of television, even while doing homework. It helped them to understand Japanese better, and introduced them to their first love: Anime. And while a lot of what they watched was not to their liking, they soon found theirself wishing that they could be an anime girl. To the point where they knew they'd give anything, if they could have that just for one day.

It didn't happen the way they expected.

One day there was this new show on TV, that they caught the pilot episode of. A dark sci-fi anime, about giant robots and alien invaders. And it didn't happen immediately -- it took a few eps to build up -- but one day this child watched the sickly, seemingly-emotionless character Rei Ayanami, and realized inside that "that's me."

And then she was.

Her parents were horrified. She was too, even though she didn't know how to show it. But the day she told me her story, she looked terrified. And she shivered and glanced around, as though she were afraid she was being watched.

"Do you, uh, want a hug?" I wasn't aroused anymore.

She nodded quickly, then scooted closer and accepted a hug from beside me. I squeezed her as tight as I could, like that, then let go so that she could continue.

"The government found out what happened to me." She spoke in a monotone, looking down at her hands and fidgeting with them. "I was removed from my parents' custody, and e-"

Rei shivered convulsively all of a sudden. "And examined," she went on, as though nothing had happened. "We shared data with other agencies around the world, who were tracking the few cases of spontaneous human transformation. I helped us develop the procedure to induce it, based on our agency's cooperation with the idol group AKB48. Now I am allowed to appear out in public, without any handlers or guards ... and to date, and form relationships, and pretend that I am a person and the last twenty years did not happen."

I recoiled a little. "Aren't you a person?"

"I am an anime character." She said it in such a way that I was pretty sure she didn't want to be talked out of it.

"Okay, but like, have you at least considered changing yourself into something else? Like another idol, or uh, I don't know-"

"I am not capable of self-induced transformation. Someone else would have to find the song which would act as the catalyst."

"Have you asked Kaminari to help with that?"

"I have never told Mistress this story."

"O-oh." I looked away, my face flush for a moment.

"If Mistress asks me to become someone else, I will do my best for her. Otherwise, I will remain this character, the same as always."

"Do you like being Rei?"

She was silent, her face expressionless.

"Oh geeze, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have a-"

"Have you been watching this season of Moriko-chan?"

I sputtered, and was so glad that I'd finished the coffee already. "I uh, nnn-of course not! I haven't, uh, I wouldn-"

"It asks a very similar question. Perhaps you should watch it. I'm sure giant robots are more to your liking, but you may find it helpful to consider questions of identity sometimes."

How did she know?! Had Mistr- I mean, Kaminari told her? Was it just a coincidence that she brought it up? I mean, technically I hadn't lied to her since I was still catching up on season one, but that was an awfully specific anime to bring up and-

"Are you alright?" Rei asked. "You are covering your head as though you are trying to keep from fainting."

"I'm okay!" I blurted out, sitting up straight. "Everything is fine!"

I did my best to catch my breath, clenching my hands into fists and shaking. And the licensed transformation specialist watched me, with maybe a hint of concern.

"Do you like to talk about music?" she asked.

"Yeeee- maybe?" I glanced over at her, confused.

"Why don't you show me some of your favourite songs?"

"Okay ... " I let out my breath. "Okay, yeah, I can do that."

Did I know why she'd asked? I want to say yes, but like, the part of me that knew was trying to block it out of my mind. Because having a friendly chat with the First Child, who was probably now in her thirties, felt safe compared to that.

She knew a lot more bands, and even traditional / classical stuff, than I'd ever heard of. But she'd never played Final Fantasy XIV, so we spent the next couple hours looking up stuff from its OST. I even worked up the courage to show her the catgirl I'd made, and like, it turns out she gets really expressive when it comes to music! We're talking air guitar, singing along, the works. Who would have thought?

Anyway, that's why the both of us were screaming "BOW DOWN OVERDWELLER" when Kaminari came back from her outing, her scarf covered in snow.

---

That night was ... awkward.

Kaminari came into the bedroom, where I was dragging a crinkly, thick plastic bag out of its box. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Um, I'm getting the inflatable mattress ready for Rei?"

"No need! I let her sleep on the couch tonight." Already in her pajamas, my girlfriend hopped onto the bed and patted the spot next to her, smiling down at me.

I blushed as I sat down beside her, my hormones reminding me that I hadn't yet taken her new body for a test drive ... so to speak. I told them to be quiet, though, even as Kaminari took my hand in both of hers and began stroking it, and comparing ours side by side. "Uh, listen," I began. "Has Rei told you about-"

"She said she made up with you, so we're good ~ " She kissed me on the cheek, and I blushed really hard.

"No, I mean ... " I started squirming. "I really think you should talk with her more before doing this."

"Why is that?" She brushed her long hair aside from her innocent eyes, one hand still holding mine.

I took a deep breath. "It's not because I'm racist or anything-"

"Someone who says that, is about to say something racist."

I winced. "Look, Rei's going to be a parent too. I need to know she's completely okay with this, and isn't just going along with it because you ordered her to."

Kaminari nodded thoughtfully, processing my words in her head for a few seconds after I finished speaking. "I see. So it's because she's racist, then."

"No, I mean ... just talk to her, okay? Tell her you'll listen to her story. There's ... there are things you need to know, before doing this with her."

"I thought I was doing it with you ~ " She traced her free hand teasingly up my inner thigh.

Oh my goddess, I thought, trying not to squirm. I am going to burst.

"Besides, there are things you need to know also. Have you heard about Naomi Osaka?"

"I- who?"

Kaminari smiled and rubbed up against me, kissing my cheek again. "She is the US Open Tennis champion for 2018. And she represented Japan, and she's half-Japanese! She got so many people talking, and accepting her. People are saying that she has a Japanese soul."

A Japanese soul? So someone who's not (fully) ethnically Japanese could still somehow be ... ? What did that even mean? I didn't know, but for some reason that phrase really stuck in my head.

"There is also Eve Wakamiya, who is half-Finnish and plays the keytar for Pasu*Pare. You, ano, you might not have heard of her." Kaminari grinned sheepishly.

"So it's better than in Rei's time, I guess ... "

"What do you mean?"

This time I kissed her on the lips, and enjoyed the startled look on her face as I pulled back. "Why don't you ask her, dear?"

"Okay ... " She nodded, still blushing. "Okay. I will."

After that, the anxiety and hormones kind of caught up to both of us, and we might've made a bit of noise in multiple languages ...

... but I did get her to let me use a condom.

---

The next morning, looking down at the beautiful, womanly schoolgirl draped over my side ... I thought this was right. I thought love was love, and should be celebrated. And if Kami-sama wanted to bear my children, then I wanted her to have them.

(I may have come up with embarrassing pet names for her, in the heat of battle.)

It just hurt to know that I couldn't be part of their life. Unless ...

Unless.

But either way, Rei was the one who'd be parenting them. Rei, and Kaminari. So even if Rei was racist, whether it was internalized or not, she needed to have a say in this ... and I wanted to make sure it was of her own free will. I was entrusting the First Child with my child, and I needed to know that she'd be a good mother to them.

(I had no doubt that my lovely fertility goddess would.)

As it turned out, I got to know Rei a little better that night ...

Okay, make that a lot better. And in all kinds of ways.