"It is I, the great Moca-chan ~ "

I stared across the table, at the short, sandy-haired girl with the self-satisfied expression. Something about her reminded me of "the great and lovable Peridot" from Steven Universe. Except that while Peridot was hyperactive, Moca-chan talked even more slowly than Reiko did, and stretched out random words for some reason.

This was Reiko's senpai, from the TS agency?

I admit, she wasn't who I was expecting. I thought it'd be Tomoe-san, the actual grown-up in their band. Or at least, she looked like one. Everything about her just radiated "mature senpai," from her "slightly edgy office lady" style to her cool and confident looks. But then she and two of the other band members had just walked past my table, at the live house's café, and this smug gremlin had sat down across from me when I wasn't looking.

Even with Reiko beside her, she was ... not quite as impressive. Had she gotten TSed into a first-year girl at the same time as my "little sister?"

"Ohh, someone is staring at Moca-chan. Moca-chan is uncomfortable now ~ "

I winced and looked away. "Please forgive my rudeness."

"Would some drinks and macarons help?" Reiko asked.

"Macarons, huhhh? Yes, Moca-chan will definitely help you for macarons ~ "

Reiko went to get snacks, while I gave this new girl a wary look over my empty coffee mug.

"Soooo ... you want to enroll in the same high school as Reiko and me?"

I was having second thoughts at this point, but I nodded.

"Okaaaay ~ you're all set ~ "

She produced a folded-up piece of paper from her hoodie's pocket, and tossed it across the table to me. I caught it and unfolded it, and saw an admission form with my name and details already filled out (in sloppy handwriting). I guessed Reiko had given them to her?

"Just have your parents give this to the schooool. Ohh, you don't have parents yet, riiiight?"

... I had to admit, I liked the way she put that.

"Have the Inoues sign this toooo ~ " She yawned without covering her mouth, as she handed the paper to me.

I took it and yawned as well.

By the time Reiko came back from the snack line with a tray of macarons, Moca-chan had already fallen asleep, her hood over her eyes and her arms under her head. Reiko didn't even blink at this, and just offered me the tray.

I took a dark blue one, and glanced over at her senpai. "Is this normal?" I asked.

"Mm." Reiko nodded, then sat down and took a red macaron.

"How long have you known each other?"

Reiko nibbled and swallowed a tiny, crumbly bite. "Since I was taken in by the agency."

"That's the government agency, and not like, a talent agency. Right?"

She nodded slightly, again.

"I'm guessing she looked a bit older at the time?" I wasn't sure how to put it.

"We grew up together." Reiko sort of lick-nibbled at the macaron, like a cat.

"I see ... " I looked down at this dozing kid again, oblivious to the fact that I looked only a few years older than her. "So did you like, play the song that TSed her into this more recently, then?"

Reiko looked over at her too, as though trying to gauge whether it was okay to answer my personal questions. "I had a hand in her second transformation, sis. But not in that way."

"Oh?"

"It's a long story."

"Ah."

I tried to imagine what it'd be like, growing up at this mysterious agency together. As young girls, and/or anime characters. Surviving inhumane tests by depending on each other, and learning to TS other people yourself. "I, um, wouldn't mind hearing it sometime ... "

"Moca-chan is awake, you knooooow ~ "

Crap! I covered my face with both hands, and slumped in my chair. Sometimes, I just didn't know when to quit.

"Sorry," I mumbled to her.

She replied with a snore.

After that Kaminari showed up, carrying one of our shopping bags (mine was in the seat next to me). She'd gone to the last place on our list, to get school supplies while I met with Reiko and Moca-chan. Now we all had to head home together, and-

"I will be staying at Moca's house tonight, sis. You and Kaminari can go home without me."

"Huh?" I stared at Reiko, confused.

"Don't worry, Eclair!" Kaminari gave her pet headpats. "Mom and dad are okay with 'innocent sleepovers.'"

"Eh?" I blinked. "Oh ... ohh."

Reiko smiled and blushed just a little, and entwined her fingers over the table.

"Okay, then." I stood up from the table and bowed to her, before putting my coat on and getting my things. "I'll see you tomorrow ... sis."

Reiko blushed harder, and smiled even more. "Thank you, Claire-née. I'll see you soon."

---

But I did not.

That is the last time that I, or anyone else, saw Claire. And I think ...

I think it was for the best.

This is Reiko. It took me awhile to learn what happened that night. But I will do my best to explain.

Please note that there is a trigger warning, for non-explicit flashbacks of child sexual abuse, narcissistic family members, and deadnaming. You may skip this part and go straight to the next chapter of my big sister's account, if you want to.

Whomever you are.

---

Claire Fox was walking to the train station, with her girlfriend and the mother of their future child. They each held a shopping bag with one arm, and were holding hands with the other. It made Claire blush, and so did her girlfriend's gentle verbal teasing.

That day had gone well for Claire. And the one before it, and the one before that. She'd had some hard realizations, and worked through some difficult issues, but her girlfriends were there for her now, weren't they? And maybe she wasn't completely Japanese on the inside, but her inner schoolgirl was. And by now, Claire trusted her.

Claire trusted that part of herself. To look after her, here in Japan, and keep her safe.

At some point along the way, Claire let go of Kaminari's hand and checked her email, while waiting at a traffic signal downtown.

This is what she saw:

From: *****@*****.com
To: OceanGem@*****.com
Subject: Fwd: Disciplinary hearing for Keith Holland to be held **/**/****

Keith!! I just heard this from your bishop. is it true?? did you really turn into a "girl"???? you know they hold an automatic court of love for that!! you could be excommunicated and cut off from our eternal family!!!!

Claire's heart literally stopped.

All of the sounds around her became muffled and indistinct. Time seemed to pass in slow motion. She wasn't aware of the lights, or the cars, or her girlfriend crossing the street without her.

your mother is CRYING!!! she thinks you did this just to hurt us!!! we heard you were going to collage and getting your life turned around. how could you do this to us

Claire was reliving her life on fast-forward now. Her "prodigy" childhood. Her spelling bee trophies. Her heart breaking, when her mom cried all night after finding out Claire was "unworthy." Her arms over her head, as her stuff was thrown out the door after her.

Her decision not to get her name formally removed from the church's roster, through quitmormon.com, because the decision would get back to her parents and she didn't want them to have any more control over her life.

The time her parents found out her email address, and she called them and screamed at them, and then blocked the account they had emailed her from.

Her mom's account. Not her dad's.

do you even remember the **** *****? do you even ********* Christmas anymore? ** *** ****

The screen blurred, as Claire's eyes filled with tears. Her fingertips prickled with pins and needles. She shook.

Claire's girlfriend was calling for her, from the other side of the street. She sounded worried. But Claire couldn't make out the words. She couldn't see or hear anything in the real world now.

All she could hear were the kindly words, of the middle-aged man whose office she was in.

Well, hello there, young man! Pull up a chair!

You want to do baptisms for the dead, eh?

Is it your first time?

She could feel the chair underneath her. The scratchy, carpet-like wall behind her, as she slouched her young body against it. The white shirt and tie that had been low-key suffocating her all day. Her feet dangling, barely touching the floor.

Did you put in any names yourself? Well, you should; genealogy turns the hearts of the fathers to the children, you know.

Shall we begin with a word of prayer?

Claire mouthed the words of the temple worthiness interview as she remembered them.

Do you sustain the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as the Prophet, Seer, and Revelator and as the only person on the earth who possesses and is authorized to exercise all priesthood keys?

Claire nodded.

Do you sustain the members of the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles as prophets, seers, and revelators?

Claire nodded again.

Do you sustain the other General Authorities and local authorities of the Church? You know that includes me, by the way.

Claire whispered "yeah." Her lips were starting to turn blue.

Now, this question is a tricky one, and I'll explain why. Do you live the law of chastity?

"I think so."

Do you know what that means?

"It means no having sex, right?"

Yeah, but it also forbids masturbating, which is like having sex with yourself. Do you know how to masturbate?

Claire shook her head, already starting to feel dizzy, and nearly fell over where she stood.

The light turned blue. Her girlfriend rushed over to her.

Y̮̟̗̣͓o̗͙͎̠̩ụ̯̱͇ d̗͓on̥̰͈̠̞̺͖'̞͓͎̻̪͕̺t̳͉͍?̞̻͎

Claire shook her head slowly, visibly swaying.

T͏̴̟̞͙̯̼̣̹̤h͈̘͞ę̼̦̣͡n̢͉͓̫̕ ̶̶̯̟̯̣̩̹͖̥l̟̞͈͚̝͍͓͉̳e̴̩̬̞̕t̲̮̺͓̺̺ ̶҉̠̣̘͇͈͖̜̳m̸̬̩̖͖̰̭̣ͅe̸̷̹͇͔̩̞̮̟͔̻ ̡̧̭̰͔̝̟͉̬͉̀ś̤̣͖͙͟h̨̞͖o̷͙͕̮̘̹w̗̜ ͏̘̩͇̲̕ͅy̧̟̻͖̻ͅo̫̱͈̫͚u̜͎̮̙͚̝͎̻͝

 

"Riria! Riria! Oh my goddess, are you okay?!"

Riria Inoue gasped for breath, as her heart started again. Everything came back into focus around her.

She ... she'd been crying. Her teeth were chattering. Her fingers and toes were numb. And she felt like she was freezing, even inside her thick winter coat.

What the hell had just happened?

"I d-don't know ... " Her teeth were chattering really hard now. The paper bag in her one hand was rustling. Her phone slipped from her fingers, and bounced in its plastic case.

"Ah, let me get that for you ... " Kaminari picked it up and handed it to her girlfriend. But Riria was staring off into space, trying to remember what had led up to this point.

She'd been living with her abusive parents, up until earlier this year. Her mom had converted to Mormonism before she was born, because of the cute missionaries that taught "free English lessons." She then converted her dad, who'd joined the Church because of her.

They'd kicked Riria out of the house, when they discovered her lesbian trysts. It was illegal, since she was under 18, but there wasn't anything she could do about it. She'd been homeless? living out of a motel? for a couple of weeks, but Kaminari had made up a cover story to tell her "mom" and "dad" so she could live with them. And now things were going to get better ...

Now her old family and church couldn't hurt her anymore.

"Riri?"

Riria blinked. "Huh? Oh, sorry ... " She took and unlocked her phone, and saw a message written in English.

Her eyes slid right off the words. She could try to sound them out one by one, if she concentrated, but that'd be a lot of effort when she felt weak and shaky already. Who the hell even knew her that spoke English, anyway? Besides her two girlfriends, and this wasn't from either of their email addresses.

Riri reported the message as spam. Then she put her phone in her pocket, put her mitten back on, and took her wonderful girlfriend's hand in hers as the two of them went home together.