So the first thing about the new home? There is no hill nearby, no speed and I was crushed. I cried at the new house. I hated it. The house was fairly nice and my room was bigger but I didn’t care about the room I wanted to be on my board, on Silver.

The garden also didn’t really have much of an area to do tricks, it was as if my father was actively trying to stop me skating, can’t skate on grass. Why do we even have grass in gardens? It doesn’t look great, it is a lot of work to cut and most of the time it is ignored. I couldn’t do any movement in the back garden and while I practised a little I was about moving, I didn’t want to sit still. He also tried to stop me having access to skater magazines, tapes and everything related to skateboarding, he almost threw away my board but I managed to save it and hide it in my room, even he has places he is uncomfortable going into, thank you big enough draws hiding my underwear.

I used every weapon I could, I was actively rebelling and mum was on my side. So on my side that his power that he thought he had, seemed to be crumbling. He wasn’t the powerful man I had come to fear but an insecure bully trying to make me fear him. I really did start going all in on rebelling. I was not even ten but I was gearing up, grabbing my board and managing to sneak out my window onto the ledge outside then dropping down and skating out front for all to see. If he blew up then EVERYONE saw it. If he tried to gain control I wasn’t letting him. I still hated that there was no hill but I was not just the outcast kid, now I was the bad kid, I actively went against my father while mum tried her best to protect me. It lasted quite a while, there were moments where he caught himself but finally the hammer dropped.

I was out front practising my kickflips trying to branch out with spins when the door was ripped open and whatever words were said were lost to me. I tried to skate away. I was sometimes successful even if he was strong but he got my arm and pulled me off my board, he often did this whenever I failed to get a little distance and normally mum got to him before anything bad could happen. She had fallen asleep this time and only awoke from the noise. Most people had gotten use to the constant issues our house had, angry man, bad girl, and all the drama it caused but it always turns heads to have it suddenly kick off. People come running when the girl gets slapped across the face and falls to the ground.

I was crying not from the pain of the slap itself but what it meant, he never hit me, but this time he had. He wasn’t my father he was an enemy. He was someone I feared for a new reason. He could kill me, he might kill me even. He was-

Mum pushed him down, she came to save me again but this time he snapped, after getting up he hit her, again and again until in a frenzy I picked up Silver and smacked his head as hard as I could. It bought enough time for the neighbours to break it up and soon the police came. I knew I was a bad girl and in the wrong, but I hated the chains I felt, I just needed to be free. I needed to keep skating, it was my life. I was so young and yet it had consumed me. I never felt at peace unless I was on my board, I never felt like myself except when Silver was by my side. Mum cleaned the blood off Silver that evening, he was being kept away from us. He wasn’t my father any more he was something hostile, evil even.

“Celia Thompson-” I flinched at the name, his name. I hated him with every fibre of my being and now even my mother did. The divorce was going through rapidly.

“Celia,” the man said again cutting out the pain, “You will need to see some people while we sort this out okay?” He was trying to be nice but I was still shaken.

“Can I have my mother’s name?” I asked. I wanted his stain gone, I needed him completely out of my life. The man stopped kneeling down to at be eye level, standing to look to mum who nodded.

“We will get the paperwork sorted for it soon, just bare with it a little longer okay?”

“O-Okay,” I managed, I hadn’t skated in weeks, I was losing myself. Silver was something from him, it reminded me of him, of what he had done and I locked her away. When I saw his car as he collected the last of his things with police escorts, that was the final time I ever saw him, I wouldn’t say he was a broken man but he was certainly someone that had lost a lot. The neighbours only had glares for him until he was out of our lives for good.

It wasn’t long till we were packed up, I almost left Silver behind just to run away from it all, but mum packed her away and would put her in storage, I guess a memento of happier days even if those days had a shadow hanging over them.

Sitting in the front seat next to my mother watching as the house faded into the distance was strange, we had moved so many times that it shouldn’t have felt any different but it did, it was the house that broke the family. I guess I was the one to break the family with my trouble making. I cried, I didn’t want to be a bad girl. I didn’t want to cause so much trouble, I just wanted to skate. I wanted to live.

“It is okay Celia, things will be better soon,” mum said comforting me, placing her hand on my shoulder for support while focusing on driving. I didn’t know where we were going, I hadn’t seen where we would be living but I had been warned it was a small apartment. I didn’t believe I would be happy.