It was a few days before I got to take Scarlet to the skatepark, it really is hidden away but it has a halfpipe, some quarter pipes, ramps and other assorted features. A few skaters but not really that busy, maybe because it’s cold. I already have my pads and helmet on, mum is ready with the plasters and I just start skating. I have never had the chance to actually skate in a real environment but I push myself around and get a feel for the different surfaces. I heelflip off the ramp and go into the quarter pipe but I feel like I can do better and try hanging out in the halfpipe. Mostly just going up and down trying to build momentum as if it was a swing. I must look like such a loser with how I skate. This is new to me but I love how I lose speed to the halfpipe then build it up again, just like going down a hill. No one is really paying attention to me except mum and I have no idea what I am doing on a real halfpipe yet the motions are fun, the fact I am skating makes me feel alive and how I-

I slam into the ground catching my hand a little. First mark on my skin, I was basically unmarked but now it is time to get some bruises.

I push myself, I try going around the park more watching how the others handle the layout. One of them is very good, a teenager with short hair, no protective gear which makes me nervous but as he flips onto a ledge, grinds to the end landing cleanly with a minor grab trick I am impressed. I get to see real skaters finally. People that actively know what they are doing not just kids going downhill for speed. I am giddy at the idea. It is like finding my people. People that love what I love. I am still completely out of my element and want to fit in so badly. I push myself more, closing out the world to try and explore but I keep going back to the halfpipe, sometimes the quarter pipe when the halfpipe is busy but my focus is the halfpipe. It is just something that kind of feel like home, just like the hills I used to play on.

When taking a break to have a drink, I can see I am already covered in bruises. I watch the others. One drops into the halfpipe and I want to try that. He is confident and so cool. I want to be like him, able to just reach higher, do better. When he finally leaves the halfpipe I climb to the top and put my board over the edge with my foot on the tail ready to try. I go straight into it and the ground races to embrace me. My protected knees slam down hard.

“Shit kid, are you okay?” someone nearby calls out grabbing their board, mum is already rushing over.

“Yeah… I am okay, that was crazy,” I reply still in awe of the feeling I had before my wipe out.

“First time? You really have to commit to it, I know it is scary but if you go into it scared you won’t manage it,” he advises.

“I think I went too fast and fell forwards. Just got lucky that I landed on my knees instead of rolling down,”

“Dam kid, you have guts,”

“Everything okay Celia?” mum asks full of worry for me.

“Yeah I am good, it was awesome just got a little over excited,” I reply picking up Scarlet and already looking back up to try again.

“Just be careful okay? If you are not ready for something, there is no need to push it,” I love that she is caring but I am setting myself up to try dropping into the halfpipe again.

“She your kid?” the skater asks mum.

“Yes, she is a handful and I hate seeing her get hurt but this is what her life is about so I support her,”

I don’t catch the next part as my board slides down the halfpipe and I adapt to the changing slope. I do a lot better but the speed is something else. I lose control at the bottom sending my board flying and landing on my side, an elbow pad ate the worst of it but the pain through my arm makes me wince and I try jogging it off a little as I go to get my board.

“She’s good,” another skater says seeming to admire me even if I failed.

“I know right? Took me a lot longer to reach the bottom even if she fell,” the first one replies back. After a bit of rubbing, my arm feels fine and while I can see mum’s worried but she also seems happy with a gentle smile. I focus on the halfpipe, I will manage this and after a few more attempts I make it. I speed right up the other side and panic at what to do, opting to just dismount. I manage to stand on the other side narrowly missing the board catch. Scarlet falls down into the middle.

“Nice one kid,” the second skater comments as he watches from close to where I landed. He offers a high five which I gladly take. Feels like I might actually get some friends even if they are both older than me.

“Thanks, that was awesome but I panicked at what to do when I reached this side,” I admit as I go get my board. Already I feel at home using Scarlet, Silver was nice and all but Scarlet is my partner, no baggage to slow me down, no hostilities. It is like Scarlet is a member of the family and fully accepted in a way Silver never was. I am free of Silver and by extension him now that I have Scarlet.

“No shame in it, get Ryan to teach you some tricks or at least how to use some tricks you already know on the pipe. I am Adrian by the way,”

“Celia,” I climb back up to offer a handshake.

“Sweet, nice to meet you Celia, got a challenge for you, don’t lose your nerve after dropping in and dismount this side after riding the pipe a little,” I give him a nod in response and ready myself. After a deep breath I drop in, no hesitation and quickly adapt my legs. It is honestly scary as I race up the other side, but I just ride the momentum and do a very small spin so I am front facing and manage to reach him not dropping my board as I feel like I step off it onto the ledge of the halfpipe.

“Sick dude, you are a natural, how long you been skating?”

“Umm, about four years I think now,” I actually don’t really remember the time before I skated very well.

“Awesome same as me, Ryan has been at it six years, he skips school a lot to come here with another guy that I don’t really know,”

“You better not skip school to come here Celia, this is a privilege not a right,” mum warns me.

“I know mum, I will be,” I start, but hesitate before finally getting out “good.” I guess I can’t see myself being a good girl with everything that has happened, but I at least respect and love my mum enough to try and not cause trouble. Anyway, with that I shit my focus back to the halfpipe who I consider my other new friend.