“Huff… huff…” Without any exaggeration, beads of sweat quite literally fell down my forehead. From walking.

I felt like a rehabilitating patient who was learning to walk again, all the while trying to hold back my bladder from letting go.
Now, I could truly relate to the movie scenes where the characters tried to walk a short distance along those parallel bars. This was difficult.

“Telva saje melhir carregna vois ?” Cana who supported me and my trembling legs asked.

‘I guess she’s asking if she should carry me instead.’

“Nnh…” I shook my head and stubbornly walked forward despite this body’s absurdly weak condition.

The girl’s body had nearly no muscle mass. Honestly, it’s surprising she didn’t look malnourished to a greater extent. And if I wanted to do lead any semblance of normal life, I needed this exercise.
But at the very least, I don’t think this girl was terminally ill. Probably wouldn’t have let me walk by myself otherwise.

‘I just hope the toilet wasn’t far.’

“Esta aiqe, deva aharn pera dentre, Señora Inés ?” Even if I couldn’t understand what Cana spoke, it was easy to understand the intent behind it.

‘Seriously ?’ Looking behind me, we weren’t far from the room I was in at all. I truly felt like I had walked at least a hundred meters.

“Um… non.” Even during this ‘short’ walk, Cana managed to teach me some words.

But given how close their language was to I think… Spanish ? Portuguese ? It was easier to pick up than I thought. Ah but, I suppose words such as “no” and “yes” are too simple to think of it as impressive huh. Baby steps, baby steps.

*click*

“E veja. Vue espra enta.” She smiled gently after opening the door for me.
“Mhm…” Nodding my head, I walked in; supporting myself with whatever I could put my weight on.

“…” Wow.

This is not what I expected from medieval ages. Maybe I’m just having wrong assumptions ?
Because, this definitely does not look like a medieval toilet. This was a fucking bathroom with black marbling.

“Ugh…” The shock was great, but standing like this was hard.

“Esta é ea banhiera.” Cana walked in and guided me to the toilet.

It was… the toilet I knew. Sure, it was missing the tank, but it was a design I was familiar with.

“Señora Inés, vois pressa isse.” As Cana demonstrated, the toilet had flushed after lightly pressing a finger on the back of the wall.

The marbling’s color was different for that part of the wall with multiple sections.

After that, Cana had shown me what each of the “buttons” did.

*pshhh*

“…” It was a bidet toilet as well. Strange part was, it never sprayed over; as if there was an invisible barrier above it. There was no nozzle though, either. It’s as if it came out of nowhere.

‘…nowhere ?’

Magic, then. Of course there was magic. Okay, that was a little exciting. But, did my first introduction with it have to be with a bloody toilet ?

“É es qes vois lieve es maes” She demonstrated the function of the sink in front of that stupidly large mirror.

“Vois vae fica bon agre, Señora Inés ?” Looks like she was done now.

“Mhm…” I just nodded. It’s a good thing she wasn’t planning on stripping me and watch me do my business as well.

“Bon. Vie espra le fera, Señora Inés.” With that, she left.

*click*

“…” I stood in awkward silence, eyes locked with the oddly high-tech toilet.

But the truth was, even despite really needing to go, I was scared of looking down there; No. I was downright terrified.

I ignored the sensation, but without a doubt, I was wearing a pair of panties under this airy dress.

Of course, I couldn’t feel my dick either. B-But maybe, just maaaybe; this body was actually a herm with a really tiny dick ? I know such a condition existed in my world, so I’m kinda counting on that 0.001% chance you know ? Better a tiny dick than nothing at all, please ?

*swmp-shwwam*

“Ugh…” Trying to take a piss in a dress as long as this was harder than I thought.
“…”

Such… thin legs. They were really pretty, but I didn’t like them.

“…” My stress was skyrocketing as I pulled down the cotton underpants while holding onto hem of the dress close to my chest.

Sure enough; a cute, white pair of panties. Lacy, too. Why ?

“Gulp…”

*swmp*

…it’s smooth. There’s nothing there. No testicles, no shaft, not even a single hair.

*twmp*

*psshhhh*

A sense of loss overtook me as strength left my legs and plopped down onto the toilet, the bladder letting it all go without my consent.

“Fuck…” I whispered.

This isn’t real.

Why is this happening to me ? Is there not a single trace of “me” left ? Not a single one ?
I was a guy for fuck’s sake. Why not put in me in a man’s body ? Why a woman, specifically ?

Can I not have at the very least, my pride as a man ? Not that I deserved it even before I died, but still.

‘I… I hate this.’

I can’t even talk to myself out of fear that someone might hear me speak a “foreign” language.

‘Foreign… hah. Hahah’. It’s funny.

“…”

*sshhh*

I was done.

Tapping my feeble fingers on the marbled wall, I let it do its business and did my best to shut off any sensations away to the best of my ability. I don’t want to be more conscious of the fact that “I” was a woman even more than I already was aware of.

*swmp*

“Ugh…” nearly falling over after dressing myself back in a standing position once again reminded me of how weak this body was.

I was depressed, so, walking over to the sink felt horrible.

*psshhhh*

‘How convenient.’

*splsh-sqlch* *splash*

The water was cold against my fair palm, and even colder on my face.

‘…aren’t you pretty.’

My- Inés’ reflection that looked back at me, made me wish I could go back home. Back to where my sister was. Where family was.

“…”

‘Whatever was left of my body is most likely either rotting or burnt to ashes by now, so what gives ?’

“My” eyes were still red from earlier, so no one will notice if I cry just a little bit more, right ?

I felt pathetic from how much I’ve been having these emotional swings. But… I couldn’t help it, even though I had to get my shit together if I wanted to continue living.

“Living” can’t be done in constant depression. So hopefully, I will fare at least a bit better from now on.
Ten days without crying sounds realistic, right ? Let’s start with that.

But… I’ll indulge myself a little for now. Just a little.

“…ngh.”

 

✧ ✧ ✧

*click*

“Tima bon, Señora Inés ?” Cana was there as I went out after drying “my” hands and face off.

“Mhm.” I tried to reply more confidently, so as to not warrant worry since I think I already recognized those words. Much thanks to Léon, no doubt.

*grrrllll*

“…”

It was an absurdly short distance walked. Yet, the pain of it combined with the energy sapped from my depression swing made me really hungry.

“Telva um almca sie adequada anta de qalca estuda, fufu.”
“…”

That definitely meant eating before studying, right ? Something delicious would cheer me up right now.

“Pera aques.”

Cana led me a direction away from my room, making me feel apologetic towards Léon. Although, the prospect of getting a chance to eat what a noble did was more important to me.

I realize that unless you were a really, really rich noble, the modern people ate way better than those of medieval times back in my world.

Here however ? Judging by that bathroom, the food had to be killer. It had to be.
After all, the food may just be the trick to make me accept my place here just a teensy little bit.