Chapter 5 – My Greatest Mistake…And the Confession
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It’s been a few days since I joined the Academy and it’s another day of my absolutely unfulfilled school life!!!

I enter through the unnecessarily large Academy gates; I could see the other kids happily attending their extremely fulfilled school lives.

…sigh…I honestly wonder what they find interesting about going to a school with so many people who keep pestering you 24/7.

Someone suddenly put their hands on the back of my neck. I reflexively caught his hand, turned him around and held his head by his hair and locked his hands behind his back rendering him unable to move.

“Ow-ow-ow-ow~ I’m sorry, okay? That seriously hurts! ow-ow-ow…”

I let go of his hands and let him go. He turned towards me with teary eyes while holding his wrists which had my handprints on them. I looked back at him with teary eyes of my own and held my hands to my mouth with a girly gesture.

“Um…I-I’m sorry for marking you without your permission.”

“Can you not say such a creepy thing after attempting to kill me in broad daylight?!”

“It’s your fault for having such muscular hands. People might fall for you in an instant, you know.”

“Hehehe…is that so?” while Ralph was daydreaming with a creepy narcissistic look on his face, I ignored him and went on my unnecessarily long way to my classroom…

“Hey! Hold up, would you! I’m not done with you yet.”

“Wow. You’re really perverted, aren’t you? I can’t believe you’d try to go with me in broad daylight.”

“You’re just acting that way, right?”

“Mm! I thought that you might get creeped out and get lost.”

“Honestly speaking, with a pretty face like yours I’m not really against such a relationship, you know…” he looked at me with sparkling eyes and the moment I looked at them, I knew one thing for sure.

This guy’s bad news!!!

“Hm! Bye-bye…”

I turned around and started walking away as fast as I could.

“Hey-hey! Wait up, I was just kidding, alright?”

“…sigh…what do you want?”

“I wanna be friends with you…”

“I looked at him with heartbroken eyes and said the words ‘Am I the only person who thought that we were already friends?’”

“Your inner narration is spilling out you know.”

“Ah. Is that so? Then see you later, I’m getting late to class.”

“Hey! Does that mean we're friends or not?”

“…sigh...As I said. I thought we were already friends. Do you want me to spill it to you word for word?”

“Alright! I’m gonna go brag about the fact that I made a friend from class A.”

“I think you might wanna think twice before you do that though…”

I waved my hand saying my farewells and headed straight to my classroom. And the moment I stepped into the classroom; all eyes glared at me in unison.

…sigh…it seems like today’s gonna be a really troublesome day…

I head over to my seat, place my bag on the table and lie down on my bag as usual. While I was lying on the table and peacefully synchronizing my worn-out soul with the peaceful nature around me, a group of noisy annoying noble kids came over to annoy me for the rest of my life.

…sigh…I do not wanna deal with these people…

“Hey! What’s your relationship with the princess huh?”

“That’s right! We’ve been watching you since the first day and you even call each other with nicknames?”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself! There’s no way someone as noble as the princess would even look at you in the first place. She’s just being nice to you because you're always all alone.”

…sigh…the princess? She’s just been bothering me 24/7 and I have no idea why she’s taken such an interest in me anyway… I honestly don’t wanna do anything with-…

…I guess that’s not true… somewhere along the way I started having feelings for her…even though there’s no way she’s gonna like someone like me, she’s probably just being nice to me cause I’m always alone at school…and the fact that I skipped those questions on purpose during the entrance exam.

…there’s no way she’s gonna like someone like me.

But why?! Why do they have to remind me of all of this? I didn’t even do anything to you guys. Why do all of you gang up on me and torment me so much?!

I can’t take all this anymore…I’d already led a life where I had to be treated as nothing but thin air. Everyone ignored me completely, no one talked to me, even my own parents ignored me. I know that no one would have even moaned about my death.

But why?! Even after having such a loving family! Even after making friends! Even after dying once…why do I have to keep listening to this? I wouldn’t care if the abuse I had in this life were just memories and nothing more…but they were all emotions. I could feel all the emotions I felt at that time. Right Now. I’ve completely synchronized with Lucius Winterberry.

I know that I didn’t want to kill myself at the time. But if it means that I have to live a life like this over again…I’d rather go back. I’d rather go back to that eternal darkness…the loneliness I felt at that time is where I belong…

I don’t have a place in this world…nor on earth…it’s better if I just died…I’d only cause more trouble to the people around me.

“Hey! You filthy commoner! Are you even listening to what we're saying?”

I took out the dagger I had in my bag. It was a family dagger which symbolizes that I’m a member of House Winterberry.

Everyone around me suddenly shut their mouths at the sight of the family crest on the dagger.

Ah! They just realized that I was a noble…that I was the son of the duke…HA! Like I give a damn…

I didn’t achieve any of this. It was a title achieved by my ancestors and my father’s hard work. I’m nothing but a burden to such a kind family. I’m a good-for-nothing who doesn’t belong in this world.

“…I should never have been born.” The words just came out of my mouth…As if they were the undeniable truth…

Aaah! I don’t want to think anymore. Ah! That’s right! I won’t be able to think of anything anymore…if my brain doesn’t work…I don’t have to worry about anything…I… can just die in peace…

I held the dagger to my head. It was a pretty sharp dagger, and it was sharp enough to go through my head.

It might hurt like hell…but I don’t care anymore…

…I just wanna disappear from this world…

As I pointed the dagger at my head and closed my eyes preparing myself for the end of me. The moment I tried to stab my head as fast as I could…the moment I was so close to death; the one thing I longed for…

My hand stopped…I thought that I had unconsciously stopped myself from killing myself once again…but I was wrong.

All this time…I wanted someone to do this to me…I wanted to see someone stop me from taking my own life…

I could feel tears pouring down my eyes…

…but why?! Why does it have to be now?! I finally convinced myself that I’d let go of everything! I finally gave up on everything!

But why?! Why do you have to make such a face?! Why are you crying? I didn’t want to cause anyone more trouble…no…I didn’t want to live anymore…

In front of me stood Sera…her eyes were red, and tears kept pouring out of her deep blue eyes…

“Why?!” I looked at her with nothing but hate in my eyes…

“Why do you have to stop me?!”

I tried to force her to let go. I pulled her hand away with my other hand, but she wouldn’t let go…

Unlike others, even though I had thin arms, I had a lot of strength compared to a normal person. But her hand was still holding mine tightly, she held on to it desperately. And when she couldn’t hold on to them anymore, she immediately held on to the blade in my hand.

The blade could easily cut a person’s hand with ease. But she desperately held on to it with everything she had.

Even though blood poured out of her hand, she didn’t let go.

“No! I won’t let go!”

We didn’t even know each other a few days ago…so why? Why would she do this? is this her so-called sense of duty as a princess?

For some reason, that thought only made my anger rise.

“Let go of me!!! I can’t take it anymore! I just wanna die! Please just…let me die…”

Tears kept pouring out of our eyes. Both I and Sera were drenched in tears…and it seemed like my words just made her angrier. She tightens her grip on both my hand and the dagger.

“NO!!! I will never let you die!”

“Aaaah!” while she finally let out a war cry, she managed to loosen my grip on the dagger.

“Why?! Why are you doing this to me?”

“It’s because…”

“Why…”

“It’s because I love you! Dumbass!!!”

She managed to snatch the dagger from my hand. She threw the dagger away, held the back of my head with her bloody hand and pulled my head closer. I closed my eyes defensively expecting her to hit me in the face.

…and the next thing I know…her lips were touching mine…

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