“I'm jealous,” I said plainly as I stepped in through the door. The elven culture might have been strange, at least in regards to modesty, but… ‘If I was an elf at least I’d be a bit taller.’

 

“You’re jealous? Of my ears?” Her face turned even more red, so much so you couldn’t even tell she was a dark elf anymore. “U-uh… Why though? I mean…” 

 

I let out a small snort, unable to hold back a wide grin. “Chill. I meant of you being an elf, not your ears.”

 

“Uh.. Oh, ok yeah that makes sense… Wait, no it doesn’t why would you want to be an elf? Humans are cool too.”

 

I didn’t even bother responding. For one thing, she wouldn’t understand, for another, there was a guy standing behind the counter very awkwardly waiting to take our order. ‘She’s paying, so… I could get something fancy for once.’ I looked at all the names and I couldn’t even figure out what was in them, not to mention whether or not I’d like them… “I’ll just have some black coffee…” I finally said, giving in. ‘At least I know it tastes alright, and this way I can pretend like I care about saving her money too.’

 

All the embarrassment quickly drained from her face the moment she started interacting with the worker. Casually ordering her drink “I’ll have a Grande Iced extra sugar Vanilla Latte with Soy Milk and Caramel Drizzle poured over tropical ice cream with added dark chocolate topping, sprinkles, and cream from dragon turtle milk.

 

Just hearing her say it made me want to comment on how ridiculous she was, but I kept it to myself… Honestly, I was having trouble speaking at all… The crazy part was that there were two things that shocked me more than her order. The fact that she somehow made the most expensive thing on the menu MORE expensive, and the fact that the guy working behind the counter not only understood the whole order but whipped up the drink in less than a minute as if he didn’t even have to think about it.

 

Even after sitting down I was still speechless, blankly staring at her elaborate “coffee,” which was topped with whipped cream, a cherry, and over 5 times larger than mine. “I hope that makes you fat…” I finally muttered. Of course… It wouldn’t… She was an elf…

 

She peeked around her massive glass, tilting her head. “You want some?”

 

‘Why does this feel like a trap… She wouldn’t offer just to say no, would she? She’s not that mean right?’

 

“Here,” She said, sliding it over to me, sticking an extra straw through the creme.

 

I got goosebumps. The prospect of trying it was more exciting than I had thought. Partially because it looked like a desert, but also because it was so expensive I knew I'd rather lose an arm than willingly buy one myself.

 

As I took a long sip, chills went through my whole body from the sweet and delicious mix of chill flavors. I was right, it was ridiculous for a coffee… But it was an excellent dessert. Not worth the 500-tallon price… But excellent nonetheless.

 

She covered her mouth, hiding a laugh before regaining her composure. “You know, I'm actually not really in the mood for coffee, you can have the rest if you want.”

 

I narrowed my gaze. Something was clearly wrong. “You… Don’t want me to do something crazy again, do you? You don’t give handouts… Last time you made me have a dance-off with a bunch of musically gifted goblins to win the favor of their chief…”

 

“You loved it.”

 

I got uncomfortable just thinking about it. “I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life…”

 

“But your dancing skill went up.”

 

“That's true…”

 

I looked down at the drink, slowly sliding it closer. ‘She didn't impose any conditions, so this is safe right… Maybe I shouldn’t risk asking…’

 

I finished the drink in no time flat, it was just too good to drink slowly. When I did I leaned back in my seat and closed my eyes. Relaxing my sore muscles and melting into the soft cushions of the booth.

 

“That was 3,000 calories by the way.”

 

The warmth of the drink overpowered the coolness of the ice cream and combined with the calm atmosphere of the cafe, taking my mind off of the harsh fast-paced reality of adventuring, and for a moment I completely forgot about all my worries. I know that seems like a bit much… But it was the first real desert I’d ever had, so to say it was amazing was an understatement.

 

“Wait did you say three thousand?”

 

I opened my eyes after a moment to see her staring at me, smiling intently. “How about now? It was good right, so good you want to do whatever I say now.”

 

‘I knew it…’ “Nope. You got the order wrong. If  this was a bribe then you should have made me say yes first.”

 

Her jaw dropped and she let out a groan. “Are these human customs? Or are you just making things up?”

 

I raised an eyebrow. As far as I knew everyone generally bribed people the same way. “Where are you even from?”

 

“I'll tell you if you do me a favor.”

 

“See you got that order right.”

 

She sat up straight and leaned forward. “So you'll do it?”

 

“No.”

 

“Meanie.” She pouted. Crossing her arms and leaning back.

 

I couldn't help but feel as though I was talking to a child. It so starkly contrasted how I felt the other day “How old are you again?” The question may have sounded rhetorical, but it was a serious one.

 

She tilted her head. “47, why?”

 

I chuckled.

 

“What's so funny?” She whined, feeling left out.

 

“Oh, Nothing.” I teased

 

Before we left she got another coffee, saying she changed her mind and decided she wanted one after all. I actually shed a tear watching her hand over another thousand talons.