A tiny part of me was afraid that, when I woke up, everything I’d gone through had just been a dream. 

When I felt everything right where it was supposed to be I let out a sigh of relief. I was still me. Holy crap! I was me! I hugged myself as a wave of euphoria hit me. I could do this every night and never get tired of it.

As soon as that rush of happiness faded, I was met with an immediate sense of dread. What would Mom say? How would my sisters feel? Where was I going to get new clothes?

Speaking of clothes, a quick look inside of my dresser told me that I had nothing that could possibly fit. I hadn’t focused too much on it at the time, but I could tell I was much smaller than I used to be. Even the smallest of my old clothes would be a problem.

After rummaging through my clothes for too many minutes I found something that wasn‘t too terrible a fit. My shirt was an old one that I must’ve grown out of when I was fourteen. It was still a little big on me, but it at least didn’t drown me in its size. My shorts were a pair of multicolored shorts that had always been a little too small, but their uniqueness kept me from throwing them away. They had at least a dozen pockets, spread out all over. The traveler who’d sold it to me had said it used to be the height of fashion in the old human days.

I had the shirt tucked into the shorts, and an oversized belt holding the entire mess together. I didn't have a mirror to tell me how terrible this getup looked. It was like I was a child wearing the first set of clothing I found.

I glanced outside for a moment and was thankful to find that it was still completely dark out. I must not have slept in all that late, a fact I was thankful for. Mom was already upset with me, if our earlier conversation was any indicator. I didn’t need her wallowing in her frustration any longer.

As soon as I left my room I was aware of how silent the house was. Were none of my sisters home? Was Mom?

My last question was answered when I heard Mom's voice coming from the kitchen. “I’m in here, Jo—sweetie!” Did she just cut herself off from using that name? No, I had to have misheard her. Nothing else made sense.

As soon as I arrived in the kitchen I saw a full plate of—was that crab? It was surrounded by a variety of smaller snacks, each of which looked incredibly delicious. My stomach rumbled at the sight of the feast before me, and I gave Mom a curious look. My birthday wasn’t for two days, and we never made this big of a deal out of it. 

As soon as she caught my look, Mom started laughing to herself. “Sweetie, it’s the day after your curse was unveiled. We celebrated your sister’s just a few months ago, did you think you wouldn’t get the same treatment?” I only felt more confused, until it hit me. Was she really saying what I thought she was saying?

I felt tears well up, forcing their way out despite my attempts to hold them in. She recognized who I was. She acknowledged the curse, the fact that I was affected by it, everything. I was her daughter, and this was her way of acknowledging that fact. 

She pulled me in for a hug as I continued to stand there crying, overwhelmed by joy. Goddess, I had a body of my own for not even twenty-four hours and already I’d cried more than I had in almost ten years. I couldn’t help it. Constantly being bombarded with more emotions than I’d felt since I was a kid seemed to have that effect, and I loved it.

“Does my daughter have a name?” The way she asked it made it feel so normal. Like any worries I’d felt over the years were completely unwarranted.

“It’s Madison,” I told her through tears. I couldn’t believe how well everything had been going. Nothing in the universe could ruin the wonderful start to my night.

Mom waited for me to stop crying before she let me go. She was still smiling as she sat down at the dining table, and motioned for me to follow suit.  “Madison, huh? That’s a wonderful name.” 

I didn’t realize how good it would feel to hear my name from someone else, but as soon as my mom said it, I knew I could hear it a billion more times and never grow tired of it. I was a giggling, giddy mess as I took my seat across from her. Curiously, Mom didn’t make a move to make a plate with any of the food, so I followed her lead in spite of my stomach’s protests. Were we waiting for my sisters? Shoot, how would they feel about this?

My thoughts were interrupted by Mom clearing her throat, and she looked significantly more serious than she had moments before. “Madison, I’m glad you know who you are, but I can’t pretend like what you did all this time wasn’t incredibly selfish and dangerous. How many times did you run off on your own while we were sleeping? How long was this going on for?”

Suddenly, my years worth of skulking around while everyone was asleep were coming back to bite me. The tears forming in her eyes brought guilt to the forefront of my mind, and I had to look away from her in shame. “I… I didn’t mean to make you worry,” I said, barely above a whisper. All of my happiness was evaporating rapidly, replaced by an all-consuming guilt. 

I could barely see her nod in my peripheral vision. “I know you didn’t. But that doesn’t change what you did. It was incredibly dangerous, you could have been killed by any random thing, and we might never have known. Your lungs and heart aren’t strong like most people’s. And at any point an accident while you were, I presume, swimming off on your own could have taken you away from me forever. Not to mention staying out with all that bright light could have permanently damaged your eyes.” 

I sat still, not offering any response to everything she was saying. She was right, I had been too focused on me and the all consuming pit of despair I’d been in, and I’d never even thought to let her in. If something had happened, especially so soon after Dad passed, it might have taken her years to recover. 

“That said, I think I understand where you were coming from. You were in a dark place, and you were alone in it. Every time I thought I was helping you by trying to boost your confidence, I was only further hurting you. Maddy, sweetie, I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. I wish I had done a better job of letting you know that you could trust me.” 

What?

I was expecting the lecture to last longer, for her to tell me how long I was in trouble. Hearing her apologize like that was just… It was wrong. She didn’t need to, she was just trying to help. I needed to make sure she understood. “Mom, you didn’t do anything wrong. You were just trying to be a good parent. I shouldn’t have closed myself off.” 

“Thank you. I don’t quite agree, but thank you.” Mom gave me half of a smile, and it seemed our conversation was going to end there. Since she still wasn’t reaching for food I assumed we were waiting for my sisters, and the amount of food piled around the table was basically an answer in and of itself.

We sat in an only slightly awkward silence as we waited for the others. I could tell she wanted to ask more questions about me, but I couldn’t answer questions she didn’t ask. 

Thankfully for both of us I heard Melody’s loud voice after only a few minutes, and I quickly remembered that my sisters didn’t know I was a girl. I glared at Mom as she chuckled in response to my rapidly changing expression, but her calm was, admittedly, helpful. How casually she was taking my rapidly arriving coming out gave me the impression that she knew everything was going to go well, and it kept me grounded in optimism. I wasn’t nearly as worried about their reactions as I had been with Mom’s, but I still couldn’t help but be afraid. What if they hated me for ‘taking their brother away’?

“Melody! Take off your shoes! If you get the floor muddy I’m making you clean it!” Bea seemed to be taking the role of stern older sister from just outside, and I couldn’t help but smile despite my worries. I missed being able to enjoy their antics.

As Melody threw open the door, her expression sour and shoes in hand, I took one last breath. It was time. 

“Hey, Mel,” I said as soon as she caught sight of me. I couldn’t help but smile at the look on her face. Her expression almost mirrored Mom’s from earlier, without the look of parental fury attached. When her eyes lit up with recognition, I let out a sigh of relief. This was going to be easy.

“Oh, oh, oh! Orianna? When did you get here? Did Aunt June come with you? Why are you back so soon? Where’d your hair go?” I flinched as soon as I realized Melody had no idea who I actually was, and flinched again when she asked where my hair was. Did she seriously think I was Orianna? Her eyes weren’t even orange! 

Bea walked in just behind her, took one look at me, and shook her head. “That isn’t Ori. Her hair is lilac, not white. And Orianna’s eyes are a golden yellow, not orange. She looks more like—” Bea cut herself off, and it suddenly looked like she was barely holding herself back from laughing. I heard a snicker make it through, and felt a lot more self conscious. Did she figure it out? What was so funny?

Melody deflated for a moment, before bouncing right back into her old self. How did she manage to recover so quickly? “Oh, that makes a ton of sense! Are you the girl Mom had us get clothes for, then? Who are you, anyway? You look kind of like Jonah, but you’re also a girl so that makes no sense. Oh! Oh! Are you a cousin on Dad’s side of the family?” Trying to get a word in edgewise around a curious Melody was like trying to catch a fly with your bare hands.

I looked around the table for some sort of support, and was sorely disappointed. Bea was unable to hold back her laughter in the face of Melody’s excitability, and Mom wasn’t looking much better. I tried guilting them by pouting in their direction, but if anything that only made the situation worse for me. 

Melody quieted as soon as she read the room, and I felt a little bad for her. It wasn’t her fault she didn’t know who I was. 

Rectifying that was easy, but finding the words was much more difficult. I also didn’t want to do this more than once, and Selkie was nowhere to be seen. Was she even on her way? I hoped so, but it wasn’t out of character for her to stay the night with someone in Cos.

As if answering my unspoken prayer, Selkie stumbled through the front door, holding a lot of clothes. “Thank you both for the help, getting through the front door was so easy without hands!” Selkie’s sarcasm was so obvious that I had doubts anyone could miss it. 

“Happy to help, Sulkie,” Melody answered in a tone unmistakably recognizable as that of a mischievous younger sibling. It was a tone that said ‘We both know I’m a little monster, but nobody will believe you.’ I distinctly remembered Selkie using that tone on me more than once when we were younger, so I didn’t exactly feel that sympathetic. 

Selkie didn’t bite the bait Melody had left for her, thankfully. It didn’t take long for her to carefully set everything aside and take a seat, seemingly unfazed by my presence, or the slowly fading laughter of Bea and Mom. She didn’t even seem to care that none of us had touched our food, as she immediately took bits of food and put them on her plate.

“Hey! You’re going to eat before we even find out who the new girl is?” Melody sounded offended, and I couldn’t tell if it was because Selkie had completely overlooked me or because she was eating before Melody could grab a plate. 

Selkie only raised an eyebrow at Melody, before she turned her attention to me. “Sorry. It’s been a long day, and I hoped I could eat before introductions. Who are you?”

In hindsight, I probably should have mentally prepared for the conversation I’d known was coming. I wasn’t afraid of having to explain who I physically was—Mom and, probably, Bea were right there to vouch for me—but the idea of explaining who I was in general was kind of intimidating. I froze in my seat as my brain ran through optional responses, until it came up with the simplest answer possible. I threw it out without even thinking about what I was going to say. “Oh! I'm your sister! Madison.” 

I held my hand out—why was I holding my hand out?—and looked at everyone for a response. Bea was laughing uncontrollably at this point, and even Mom was trying to cover her growing smile with her hands. Was this really so hilarious to them?

Melody only seemed more confused, if anything, and Selkie surprised me by casually shaking my hand. “Alright, Mads. Good to meet you, I guess.” As soon as our handshake ended she dug in, not even waiting a moment for any other words to be said. 

I didn’t have any chance to offer any response to being casually blown off, as Melody immediately blew up at our sister. “How are you not taking this seriously? This girl just showed up and said she’s our sister? How? Where was she all this time? And where’s Jonah? Why are you trying to eat without him?” I twitched involuntarily at Melody’s use of that name, but it didn’t look like anybody noticed. 

Bea and Mom noticed the rapid shift in mood at the table and their laughter died instantly. All eyes turned to Selkie, who still seemed a bit oddly casual about the entire situation. The silence between everyone was dragging, thanks to her. She finished her first few bites of food before she spoke at all. “It’s not obvious to you? Mel, we only have food this good on someone’s birthday, or on a curse reveal day. Look at her, look at whose clothes she’s wearing, and look at all of the clothes Mom made us get. Just do the math.”

Oh. So Selkie already figured it out. I should’ve just been thankful that she didn’t seem to care, but the fact that I wasn’t getting to tell anyone but Mom was really taking the wind out of my sails. I had built this up for years in my head, and everyone acting so casual about it made me feel so stupid for putting it off.

Then again, Melody still didn’t seem to be getting it. She focused all of her attention on me, causing me to shrink a bit under her gaze. Seconds passed with only the sound of Selkie chomping on her food in the air. Bea was following her lead, and already had half her plate filled despite the look Mom gave her. 

Finally, as it started feeling like I was going to explode out of sheer anxiety, Melody spoke. “I don’t get it. Can someone get Jonah so we can eat?” 

I couldn’t help but laugh, despite her use of my old name. At least she had her priorities straight. The reminder of how perfect my laugh sounded to my ears hit me with another wave of euphoria, overriding anything else I felt in the moment. I stopped caring about the situation around me, stopped worrying about having to tell everything the truth of who I was, stopped thinking about anything but how happy I was to finally be me. 

“I don’t think we need to wait for Jonah.” I smiled, and started piling food onto a plate of my own. I could tell her everything later. 

The food was all of my favorites, plus a few extras that the others liked. I had no idea where Mom got the small strawberry cake, but Melody was in love with it. I didn’t dare try stealing a piece of my own, she would probably bite my arm off if I tried.

As we all began eating we slipped into our normal conversation, though Melody periodically turned her head to the direction of my room, looking progressively less happy each time she did it. I felt a twinge of pain in my heart once I noticed her increasingly dejected look. I thought she might quickly figure it out, but the longer we went on the worse she seemed to get. I had to fix this.

“Hey, Mel?” I got her attention as I finished swallowing the last bit of food on my plate. I felt my voice tremble, but I had no idea why. I knew this was going to be fine, no matter what. The others already figured everything out, and even if she didn’t take it well she’d eventually grow to accept things. There was no reason to be nervous.

She turned to me and I felt like I could see the pain in her eyes. What did she think happened to me? We were never that close; by the time we were old enough to form a meaningful relationship I had already closed myself off, so why was this seemingly affecting her that much?

Did I really matter that much?

“I’m… Jonah was… We’re the same person. I was him, rather. Or, well, I hid inside of him for a really long time. Sorry, I’m rambling. Does anything I said make any sense?” Okay, I was rapidly seeing the appeal in everyone figuring things out on their own. I was tripping over my words, incapable of saying anything concise. Did she get it? Was I even explaining things clearly enough for her to understand?

 It took Melody several seconds of blank staring, before realization hit her eyes. “Oh! Oh! I get it! So you’re like… Oh gosh! That’s awesome! So I’ve got another sister!” She was jumping up a little in her chair, her previous emotions gone almost instantly. It was a little jarring, and I had no idea why she was so happy about this. She didn’t even seem a little bit confused. My explanation definitely wasn’t good enough to warrant that kind of reaction.

The more I thought about it, it was weird that everybody seemed to casually accept things as the new normal. Bea and Selkie guessed and didn’t ask any questions, Melody seemed overjoyed about it, and Mom was more upset at me sneaking out than anything else. Was this really not that big of a deal to anyone? 

I was torn. Gaia had blessed me with a wonderful family that didn’t need any more information than ‘I’m a girl’ to completely change everything, but there had to be a reason why that was, right? Did I need to just count my blessings, or was it a good idea to actually ask about their quick acceptance? 

I didn’t decide until Melody went to her room to talk to her ‘friend’. I wanted answers, but didn’t necessarily need Melody to be around for the talk, in case it became too serious. Maybe it was selfish of me, maybe I should have left well enough alone, but I needed to know. 

Selkie and I were halfway through wiping down the dishes, while Mom and Bea were neatly organizing what I could only hope were my new clothes. It felt like the perfect opportunity to broach the subject. “So, can I ask everyone a question?” I gave myself a mental pat on the back for how totally not suspicious that sounded. 

Selkie continued passing me dishes to wipe off, but Mom and Bea both stopped what they were doing to look in my direction. “Everything okay?” Mom asked, probably sensing the not exactly positive tone of my voice. 

I ignored her question and got right to the point. “So… Everyone took this really well. Nobody has any questions or anything?” There was definitely a better way to ask my question, but whatever it was wasn’t hitting me in the moment. I just needed to not sound rude or ungrateful. Which, hopefully, I was successfully doing. Or not doing.

Selkie, in her usual way, just shrugged. “I mean, not really? You’re my sister now. It’s not hard. Plus, uh, I’m not sure I can name names, but Melody and I both know someone like that. So it wasn’t like this was something new. And even if I didn’t get it, you got hit with the curse. That makes it pretty obvious, sis.”

I flinched at suddenly being addressed like that. She never called me anything but my name (old or otherwise), or some rude nickname. We never said things like ‘bro’, or ‘sis’. “Please, don’t just start saying stuff like that. It feels weird.” I needed to nip that in the bud immediately. I liked the feminine pronouns, but I didn’t need anyone changing how they talked to me out of nowhere.

Selkie just shrugged and kept pushing dishes at me. As always, she was incredibly casual about the whole thing. I probably could have told her that I was a fire-breathing purple raven and she’d go about her day as if I said something normal. I really shouldn’t have expected anything else from her.

Mom and Bea, on the other hand, seemed to hesitate. Information I could never understand passed between them as they did, and once their unspoken conversation was done, Mom turned to me. She looked conflicted again, in the leadup to when she spoke up. “It’s complicated. All you need to know right now is that you’re loved.” 

That was an incredibly unsatisfying answer, and I was sure she knew that as well as I did. That said, I knew when not to push things. Whatever it was, I could find out later. “Thank you, Mom,” I told her with a smile. It probably didn’t look all that genuine, but I wasn’t about to put effort into hiding my disappointment.

“I’ll tell you later, I promise. I just learned something recently, and it still stings a little bit.” I was still frustrated with the lack of answers, but I didn’t argue. She would tell me when she wanted to, and there wasn’t anything I could do to change that. 

 Eventually we finished getting everything cleaned up and organized, leaving the four of us able to just sit around our living room and talk. We chatted over casual stuff, though a large part of the conversation was focused on my new wardrobe. I tried to pretend not to be excited to get to wear skirts or dresses (there weren’t too many of either, unfortunately, but that could eventually be changed), but I was not good at keeping a poker face. More than once Bea poked fun at me for my excitability, and each time I’d respond by sticking my tongue out in her direction. It might have been a little immature, but we were sisters. It was expected. 

In time, the conversation died down and my sisters headed off to get some sleep. It felt a little early to me, though I couldn’t tell if that was because of my ruined sleep schedule or because it was genuinely pretty early. Mom, too, yawned after a time, and once again read my expression with ease. “They both got up early to help with everything. Selkie practically spent every minute from when I woke her to when you woke getting your clothes set up. Bea ran back and forth between here and Cos constantly to prepare the food and help Selkie. Even Melody helped with some of the cooking.”

I felt an incredible wave of guilt at that revelation. They’d worked so hard for me, and didn’t seem even a little bit upset. I’d hid so much from them for so long, and not one of them held anything against me. “Thank you all,” I said, barely above a whisper. 

“Of course. Families are supposed to be there for each other when we need it. Please remember that.” Mom almost sounded like she was pleading with me in that moment, and I had no clue how to respond. 

In the end, I could just nod my head and apologize. “I’m sorry.” I was still barely talking loud enough to be heard, but I knew she could hear me. 

Mom only nodded her head. “I’m glad. You hid this from all of us for so long, and it could have gotten you hurt or worse. You’re still in a ton of trouble, by the way. Just because I understand why you felt the way you did doesn’t mean you get to get away with taking such reckless risks for so long. But we can figure out your punishment after your birthday. For now, try on your new clothes. They should fit, for the most part, though if they need any more readjusting you’ll want to know sooner than later.”

I’d expected the eventual announcement that I wasn’t going to escape punishment, so hearing her announce it wasn’t any sort of surprise. I just nodded my head, and prepared to head off to my room, content in knowing that everything was going to be alright.