Chapter 11 - Lost and Alone

There were a thousand different Qi Refining and Body Forging cultivation manuals in the sect for disciples to choose from. They represented the glory of the Nine Nails Sect, which spanned across the multiple ages of the known past. Her Master had even said to Mei once that when Kabarrah broke the world, the Nine Nails Sect was there to witness the plight of millions, forming the Crack to stop the Endless Hordes from devouring the whole world.

It was a culmination of many generations, and thus, the sect allowed its disciples to choose freely. But most would often choose the Soaring Hawk Qi Refining Manual, as it was the signature cultivation technique that derived from the Sect Master's Taoist name, Jadehawk.

Mei herself used this manual to reach the early Foundation Realm, allowing her to stand proud as an Inner Sect disciple and earning her the honor of being accepted as the sole disciple of Zhang Wei.

But letting servants choose freely from this large collection was... unprecedented, to say the least.

I should've tasted that chicken soup when I had the chance. There must be something miraculous inside of it, considering the Grand Elder Hao deigned worthy of the cook to grant him a reward like this...

She sighed as she climbed down the steep steps of the Inner Sect, the wind brushing past her long, brown hair. Keeping the edges of her robe pressed into her sides, she took the steps one by one, gazing out into the endless skies beyond, and the sun blazing above them.

It was a good day, and a good change, if you'd asked her. Being lodged inside her cave, spending the days cultivating and doing nothing else could be… boring, sometimes.

Then she flinched. She snapped her head anxiously around her to check if there was anyone who could hear her even though she was making sure to keep the words inside. When she saw nothing but the birds chirping loudly about the trees, she sighed tiredly.

It was a habit Mei had acquired from her Master, known for his sharp ears across the eastern continent. Some said he could hear the moon's agony when the sun left her alone in the sky, and some others said even a conversation made thousands of miles away from him couldn't escape the risk of being heard.

Either way, it was never a bad thing to be cautious. You couldn't be overly cautious in a sect of thousands, after all, even though you've nothing to hide. Still…

Stop it. Take deep breaths. Three deep breaths to calm your nerves.

She took the breaths, one by one, blowing them out as she puffed her cheeks like a balloon. It made her heart calm down, and the shaking of her fingers stop. Then she jumped the last steps, landing with the grace of a swan on the ground, and the Outer Sect wind welcomed her.

It was an old friend, this wind. It's been years now since they were separated, but Mei couldn't say it brought good memories into her mind.

The Outer Sect…

This place was established to serve as a meat grinder for the recruits, a place where only a handful of talented and strong-willed chosen could rise to join the Inner Sect.

The others, who would eventually fall from the steep ridges of this path, would be seen as the necessary casualties in this big, wide world. Their sole purpose was to act as steps through which the chosen would ascend, higher and higher until they too were pitted against each other. This cycle of terrible competition never ended.

Was all this worthed in the end?

Mei couldn't be sure. However, there was one thing she was sure of — that the path of immortality was a path unfit for the weak-minded.

She strolled through the trees, keeping away from the crowded squares of the sect, greeting in silence the old Alchemy Pavilion from far away which stood towering over the trees, hundreds of Outer Sect disciples filing in and out through its double doors. To the other side, in another square, loomed one of the famed Mission Steles that brought another flood of memories to Mei's mind.

I surely don't miss those days.

Then she stopped. Her fingers started trembling once again as she sent a thread of spiritual energy to her storage ring, filtering through all sorts of things that lay scattered inside the huge space. Her heart beat in her throat as she fumbled the checkers, sent clothes and rugs flying across the invisible walls until, at length, she found the paper that had Grand Elder Hao's signature over on it, hidden inside a jade-inlaid wooden cabinet.

She took a shivering breath, eyes darting toward the long staircase that vanished inside the clouds high up the mountain. It wouldn't have been the first time that she lost something precious that his Master had trusted with her. There was that one time when an Adept Realm Sabertongue corpse…

Don't. Lose. Yourself. In. The. Past.

She giggled foolishly, wiping the sweat drops on her face with one hand, checking once more if there had been anyone to witness her little anxious episode. She didn't forget the paper, after all, but being cautious… Yes, you couldn't be overly cautious when your Master's Master had given you a mission.

For a cook. I've climbed all the way down here just for a cook.

It was past afternoon, so the cooks should be all huddled up in the new Kitchens Elder Brother Bai made for them. He was a different man, Elder Brother Bai was. Different, and odd, and strange, Mei had to say. But she liked him, liked his foods, more precisely. He had a way of cooking that made everything taste heavenly, and it was paining her that he no longer cooked for Inner Sect disciples.

Those fools.

Past the trees, the familiar sight of the log cabins lined parallel to each other greeted her. Mei wasn't amused as she inched away from them as if they carried a wicked sickness that could somehow make her, well, sick, too. She'd been sick before, right here in the Outer Sect, when dozens of disciples butchered limbs and splashed blood all across the trees during her first pill distribution day.

Up the slope, she made for the Central Square where the Dining Pavilion stood, alone and desperate, thinking that maybe she could catch some of the cooks there. If not, she could use the mountain path that sloped away toward the eastern part of the sect as a shortcut.

When the Central Square came in sight she hid herself behind the trees, to stay away from hundreds of disciples crowding around the Mission Stele. Then she squinted up at the Dining Hall, for there seemed a group of people standing there, still as statues.

Brown robes. They must be from the Kitchens.

There was a young man and a young woman who stared at each other, seemingly unaware of the group of cooks who all stood listless like ghosts. Mei was sure she'd never seen that woman before, but the man… Now, he had a familiar face.

Chen's Clan Second Young Master? Not good.

Her eyes searched madly for Elder Brother Bai, scowling out through the trees, up the Dining Hall, down near the Mission Stele, but he was nowhere in sight. How he could let his brothers face this demon all alone? Wasn't that too heartless of him?

Should I do something?

She was about to take a step, having decided to intervene to save those sorry-looking cooks from their plight, when the wind carried the soft rustle of the leaves to her ears, making her turn her head to the back.

Elder Brother Bai gave her a slight nod from behind. He stood perched over on a thin branch, which shook violently as if it was about to break, but he didn't seem aware of that fact. He had a deep frown creasing his face as he watched, intently, the group of cooks standing in Central Square.

"Elder Brother Bai," Mei said as she bowed deeply to him. "W-What are you doing here?"

"Teaching lessons," Elder Brother Bai said without looking at her. "Making a point. Showing the reality of our lives."

Mei nodded even though she hadn't the slightest idea about what he meant, but then, from the slight twitch of his lips, it seemed he wasn't sure himself either, fingers clenched tight around his long sleeves.

"I've heard you've been feeding the Outer Sect disciples a sort of… porridge, was it?" Mei said as she tapped with one finger to her cheek. "Meat soup? Something with meat, yes. I've heard the disciples didn't quite like it."

Elder Brother Bai grunted. "Seems like your ears are working the way they should. Good for you."

"Good. Oh, yes. Good!" Mei said as she shuffled nervously. "But why? What happened to all those delicious food? To be honest, I was hoping to taste your dishes once again, after all these months."

"Become an Elder," Elder Brother Bai said coldly. "Then I'll have no reason to turn you back. Until then, I'm not making even a normal porridge for any disciples."

"Right," Mei said with a nod. That was understandable. Or, was it? "Eh, why?"

"That fool Feng Chen, acting as if he owns the whole sect," Elder Brother Bai said under his breath. "I'm wondering if you didn't have hundreds of your clansmen here in the sect would you be so confident, and arrogant, eh? Like cats and dogs… Yes, breeding like cats and dogs, these people!"

"Ah, Elder Bro—"

"And what about that little kid Liang! Does she think she is some sort of princess? Even her sister hadn't been full of herself like that, scrambling away at the sight of my face. Does she think she's capable? Isn't that courting death, here, eh? But I mustn't. This is a lesson for Lei. Yes, a lesson for both of those fools!"

"Lei?" Mei's ears perked up at the name. "Elder Brother Bai, can you tell me which one of those cooks is Lei? I was sent here by Grand Elder Hao, to find this Lei and take him to the Outer Sect Library," Mei said, then smiled sheepishly under Elder Brother Bai's sharp eyes. "I can show you his signature if he—"

"What Library?" Elder Brother Bai's face was cold and deathly. "What do you mean sent here by Grand Elder Hao? Is it about the chicken soup? We'd sent the cauldron this morning, hadn't we?"

"Ah, yes!" Mei's eyes glinted at the remark about the soup. "That's the reason! Grand Elder Hao wants to reward this Lei with a cultivation manual, for he likes the soup very much. My Master even told me that the Grand Elder is curious to see what this Lei can achieve with spiritual energy after he learned he was a simple mortal."

"What nonsense!" Elder Brother Bai raised a hand, and the branch cracked under him, finally couldn't bear the weight of his body. He plummeted down the ground with a grunt, arms flailing, but then he somersaulted in the air before landing with two feet on the ground, face twisted up in burning rage. "The kid's been barely here for three days, yet the Grand Elder wants to reward him? For what, some chicken soup? I must admit it wasn't the worst thing I've tasted, but he can't possibly think there had been some magical genius poured into a dish as simple as that!"

"I-I…" Mei gulped heavily, unsure about what to make of the twigs caught up in Elder Brother Bai's hair, but forced herself to continue. "I'm not familiar with the details, but I must carry my Master's orders. You know how har—"

"Haven't they stolen enough from me?" Elder Brother Bai jabbed a finger into Mei's face, making her wince. "Brothers, they'd taken from me, sisters! Whenever I find a person with some semblance of a talent these vultures come knocking on my door, demanding I give them my own hard work. The disciples weren't enough, the Outer Sect Elders weren't enough, and now even the Grand Elder is after me, eh?! Where is the justice?"

Mei took a step back when Elder Brother Bai unleashed his late Foundation Realm aura, eyes burning with hatred. This man… They used to say he was a talent seldom seen in a thousand years, a genius amongst the geniuses. Even Mei with her cultivation level couldn't hope to stand before his path.

But she couldn't step back, either.

"I'm not here to steal anything from you, Elder Brother Bai!" Mei said, and flinched when her voice came out more high pitched than she intended. "It is just a cultivation manual, nothing more. It's not like the Grand Elder is considering taking this Lei as his personal disciple. I'm sure he doesn't even know if he has the talent for it!"

Elder Brother Bai pinched the bridge of his nose. "That's how these things start, Little Mei. First, it would be the little things, a cultivation manual, a spirit stone, a good spiritual tool. Then before you know it, the bastards have taken the man into their clutches, feeding him all sorts of lies about me."

Mei's heart leaped to his throat when she heard him. "P-Please, Elder Brother Bai. I'm sure you hadn't intended to call the Grand Elder a bastard, right? Must be a slip of your tongue…"

"Eh?" Elder Brother Bai froze as if lightning struck him from over the heavens. He gazed anxiously around him, then wiped the sweat out of his face. "Of course, I wouldn't do such a thing. Just… You know what I've been through."

"I know, but aren't you making your life harder by acting like this?" Mei said as she clasped her hands together. "I'm sure these disciples wouldn't mind you cooking them your signature dishes. In fact, I think they will appreciate it more as they find out the depths of your talent."

Elder Brother Bai shook his head. "You don't understand. If I was an Alchemist, I could've acted as I wished, caring not about these people. They would've come crawling under my feet, begging for pills, and elixirs. But I'm a cook. Just a damn cook. You can't simply cook miraculous dishes that will somehow allow people to, I don't know, breathe spiritual energy more easily? Or you can't expect a meal to make you stronger unless you can find a spiritual beast to eat every day!"

"But you're cooking for Elders, are you not? Isn't that enough?"

"Elders?" Elder Brother Bai smiled mockingly. "They never look at your face, or your work. They're giving orders, and that, I can understand. We are talking about the people commanding the winds and the clouds, after all. You know, pillars of the sect, and so on. What I can't accept is that some snotty bastards thinking they're the same, looking down at us, at our food, as if we only exist to work for them!"

A tense silence enveloped Mei as she locked eyes with Elder Brother Bai, her pulse quickening with each passing moment. Seeing him here, trembling in anger, made Mei remember the old times when Elder Brother Bai soared into the skies as the brightest star of the sect. She would be there, right behind him, staring at him like a little girl admiring the boundless heavens.

"It wasn't like this when my Master was here," Elder Brother Bai said, eyes staring past the trees, and out into the skies, as though trying to peer into some old memory. "We were hard-working men, before, treated with great respect. We were honest people trying to pursue our own path. What's so wrong about that?"

"Did you ever consider leaving the sect?" Mei chewed on her lips. She raised both hands in the air when Elder Brother Bai swept her a fierce look. "Oh, I didn't mean like that. I mean… You can pursue your own path somewhere else, don't you think? In some place where these disciples and Elders won't bother you."

"Never," Elder Brother Bai said. "I will wait here until Master is back. I won't let these bastards tear apart his hard work."

"But he's gone beyond the Crack," Mei said guiltily as if this was her fault. "Beyond the Nails, they said. Nobody has ever come back from that side of the world. Not even the…"

"You think I don't know that?" Elder Brother Bai clenched his teeth, hard. "Is this how you console an old friend, Little Mei? If so, you're not helping." He raised a finger to the Central Square, pointing at a man who stood before the other cooks, empty eyes staring at his feet. "There, that is Lei. You go follow your orders, take him away from me. I've learned to live with nothing but tiny crumbs."

Mei gave him a small nod when the silence stretched between them. Her fingers were tense as a fully drawn bow, her back drenched in cold sweat. She understood at that moment that there was nothing she could say that would help Elder Brother Bai in any way. He was a man still mourning after his Master, like a desperate child left forgotten by his parents, trying to cling to that last glimmer of hope.

But his Master was no more, and he was too deep in his sorrow to accept that.

"Elder Brother Bai," Mei said after she took a couple of steps, looking over her shoulder. "If you don't care about yourself, at least think about your brothers and sisters. Don't do the same thing your Master had done to you… to them. They seem like they're all lost and alone, just like you."

……