A cool breeze, an ocean air reached my senses alerting me to another change in scenery. My body was weak as I stumbled to grasp my surroundings. There was sand beneath my soft skin, salty water scratching at my toes and a quiet atmosphere greeting me at my awakening.
“Okay, …this is getting really old… Can I please get through a day without blacking out? Hm?” Strange visions, passing out, dreams, memories, passing out, memoria monsters, interesting characters, passing out. It was becoming routine at this point. Was this what it was going to be like until all of this is solved?
“Everyone reacts differently to memoria, it should come as no surprise that the closer you get to the truth the worse these attacks become. Come, I can guide you through this boundless sea.” It was Black Swan again, but I suppose that’s a given plot note at this point.
As she pointed at the ocean, I couldn’t help but notice that the water was very clear, a complete reflection of the blue sky despite the calming waves. Looking to my left and right, there was nothing besides the two of us across the infinite beach land.
“Yep, I think I am used to it. Nothing can surprise me now. It’s clear now that my life has turned into a script, and I am just along for the ride. Hey Black Swan, since you’re the memory person, remind me later to punch Elio in the face.” I was not joking either, it was clear that he had played some part in all of this and once I figured it out, I would hold him accountable even if he himself is simply playing out his own script.
“Oh, I will keep that in mind then. So, Seth, or should I say Seele, do you know where this is?” The memo keeper asked pushing the question onto me. She wanted me to figure out whatever this hellscape is on my own. Well, I say hellscape, but this place was very peaceful. Much nicer than the forest for sure.
“I honestly have no idea; I know you expect me to work this out in my head but there is just far too much I don’t understand to be able to piece all of this together.” Feeling like I had already said as much before, I really had no clue why she continued to play this guessing game. I feel like I am looking for a needle in a haystack.
“It is indeed a tall task, but not an impossible one. Consider the visions that you have seen. Are these memories yours or are they false manifestations of someone who lost their mind? The value upon which you place these things determines the validity of all that you see before you.” She was right, I had not been putting any effort into understanding these visions as I simply believed that they would sort themselves out once everything popped into place. I needed to decide what exactly these dreams were and how much could I rely on them.
I had determined that we are inside my mind, had been since reaching Qlipoth Fort. If that was the case there were a multitude of possibilities to explain why I looked like a young girl, a girl which aligned with the incoming memories that haunted me. Looking into the calm waves, a crystal reflection appeared. It was a version of Seele that was for sure, an older version of those memories.
If I opened up my mind to the possibilities that any of this was real and I wasn’t just dreaming, it would explain some questions while completely unravelling my reality.
In these memories, I was Seele, an orphaned girl who was taken in at a young age by Cocolia. Her story was similar to ones told in the Hoyoverse games, but it was also different. Mainly, this Seele’s story began on Punklorde which was a planet that was hardly explored in Honkai Star Rail. All we know about the place is that it was Silver Wo…
Is Bronie Silver Wolf? Surely not, Silver Wolf never even so much as implied that she knew a version of Seele. But my memories, as fragmented as they are, clearly remembered a version of Bronya that fit Silver Wolf to a T. If that was the case than that begged the question, why was their two Bronyas and two Seeles in the same universe? Unless the already confirmed multiverse was at play. If that was the case, then even Welt’s situation was possible. I had no idea how Welt made it to the Star Rail universe in the first place, but he was an obvious example of traversing the multiverse.
So, what, then, is this ocean scape? What was the forest? And where does that contract, and Nyx become involved? My only guess at this point was that it was connected to the multiverse as I have surmised. It also helped that Seele was heavily connected to quantum, and everyone knows that is begging for multiverse shenanigans.
Answers would not come standing idly by, I knew that I would need to take a step forward to get what I needed, and I couldn’t help but feel like I was on a clock. My other self’s escape was most assuredly a bad thing and I needed to escape before she did anything crazy.
“If that is the case, I believe it is time to rip off the band aid, take off the mask and reveal it all. Let’s get this over with.” With a determined glare at the endless sea before me, I took my first steps into the water signifying the end of my questions; replacing them with unfiltered answers.
“It seems as though you have made your decision Ianthe, a detriment to your soul perhaps, but nonetheless empowering for the heart. To separate truth from fiction, one must traverse even the darkest of answers. Otherwise, you are living nothing but a lie.” I felt the presence of Nyx once again but with my gaze focused on what lay before me, I did not acknowledge her.
The water was warm to the touch, not cold and heartless as I initially thought. Even as the cool air above shifted, blowing my hair to-and-fro, I realized that for the first time, my mind was granting an invitation to an impossible past for an impossible future.
Peace, to be led alongside quiet waves, a refreshment of the soul, I can fear nothing, for even in the shallow waters of death, I am comforted in my decision. I seeketh not but the foundation of my darkness, so that these chains that bind me, can falter at the spirit of my resolve.
So, Seele in all of her courage that she gathered, took that dive, took the path of resistance in spite of the barriers she herself put up. Memories of the past, stolen, broken, hidden, she would learn in due time. Like a fog clearing at the liberation of destiny, an invitation to move forward, opportunities steer the path of the universe.
Manifestations of fiction fled their breeding ground; a storm was approaching. Like birds migrating at the rising tide, they flocked to a new home. A guardian, warden to my solitude, an amalgamation of desperation, need and desire, watched on at the precipice of her final act.
The truth is but fiction to the eyes of the enlightened, prophecy, an equalizer to masses. When given a vision of the future, most falter at His gaze. People eagerly rush to return to their ignorance, procrastinating, woefully lying to themselves under the false pretense that He will leave.
A character, fictional in origin, cannot refuse the brush stroke of the author, nor can they accept that they are fictional. A conundrum caused by a misunderstanding that they’re lives have value. The narrative, no matter how many branches, returns to the ground likened to a leaf, a predestined fall.
Wither and decay, that world you called home, barren and desolate. You plucked a fruit from the forbidden tree, turning a once vibrant planet with potential under His light, into a quantum infested wasteland just to escape His call. A framework denied, a proper end defied, a greedy soul corrupted and corrupting for the sake of that misunderstanding.
Defiance has consequences little Seele, are you ready to learn?
Punklorde
The world around me was still, the neon lights seared into my mind, a moment I would never forget. Dark blotches fogged my vision, consciousness impaired. I didn’t understand it, I couldn’t comprehend what just happened. Why?
“Damn it, Seele! Why can’t you f***ing listen?!” The hoarse bark of my father screamed. The tears coming down my eyes, the pain I felt both physically and mentally, did it mean nothing to the man who struck me?
“Father, I…” Attempting to return to his good graces I tried to appeal to his conscience but…
“No! Why can’t you get it through your thick head? I can’t do this!” With a bout of frustration, putting his hands on his head, he began to scream into the night sky. Again, I failed to understand why he didn’t want me, why I was being thrown away.
“Seele, I don’t need you to understand why, I just need you to stay as far away from me as you can. Being around me is dangerous and I… I will take whatever steps necessary to make that message clear.” Shoved to the ground as I was, I could no longer make an attempt to follow him. Little did I know that this night would be the last that I ever saw my father.
I was alone, the cold metallic streets beneath me serving as a constant reminder of the sting of another abandonment. My mother was dead, drug overdose. My father was in debt, that much I knew, bad people were on his tail. He thought me too young to understand these things, but living with a mother as reckless as mine required me to learn.
I knew that there was something wrong with my family from a young age, even amongst a family deprived populace in the major cities of Punklorde I stood out amongst the other children. I was not fed properly, I was not allowed to do things with friends, I was not allowed hobbies, I was not a priority, I was an afterthought.
I was used to that at the very least but this… this was…
The day that I found out what happened to my father the emptiness in my heart, the sole remnant of his memory did not allow me to feel anything. He wasn’t my father anymore. Money has a way of changing people, this I learned more than most. I never knew who my parents were before they gave up on this life, but I knew that I would never allow myself to become victim to that mindset. Life was too precious to give up on, too precious to hurt others with your stupid decisions.
“Seele, you have a guest. Please make yourself presentable.” The nurse mumbled unenthusiastically.
A guest? Who would want to see me, I wondered. I have no one else. How else would I have ended up on the streets, barely breathing?
“Hello Seele, my name is Cocolia, it is a pleasure to meet you dear.” A blonde woman, taller than most, greeted me at my bedside. By the manner of which she dressed I could tell that she was rather wealthy. I didn’t have much energy to ‘make myself presentable’ but I felt like I had to try give some level of respect.
“Please don’t burden yourself, I don’t want you to hurt yourself for my sake.” She smiled fondly making me relax a little. It has been a while since someone was so nice. It felt… good.
“I… Okay.” I struggled to say. I was aching from days without proper food and the bruises spread throughout made it tough to move. I felt so helpless, but I guess I was just lucky to be alive.
Madam Cocolia was the owner and administrator of a relatively new orphanage that she put together herself. And to not mince words, she specifically helped those with troubled past who needed guidance to make it back in the world. It was hard for me to mentally accept that I needed such help from a rich savior, but I didn’t have any fight left in me.
When I inevitably arrived at the orphanage, I was delighted to find others who understood even just a bit of what I was going through. Liliya, Rozaliya and Sin. Well maybe not so much Sin, she kind of sucked. We weren’t exactly friends, but I was able to along with them most of the time as long as I didn’t say something Sin found irritating.
When I was admitted to Salas Advancement Academy, a rift kind of expanded between me and the other orphans. They were happy for me at first, I was proof that even orphans could accomplish something, however, the pressure from Cocolia changed things.
It did not take me long to realize that Cocolia was not quite as nice as she made herself out to be. It was true that she had a heart for the children that she took in and she treated us all like one big happy family but beneath that smile, beneath the niceties, laid an agenda. I just didn’t know what it was.
After several months of attending the school, I began to get this uneasy feeling like someone was watching me. Being on guard, I always kept an eye out for anyone following me, but I was never able to find anyone. The fact that the itch never went away told me I was either very paranoid or someone was very dedicated to their sneakiness.
Thankfully I was hardly left alone so outside of campus I felt relatively safe being taken to and from the orphanage. Surely with Madam Cocolia’s protection, I would be safe, right?
Just like with my parents, I didn’t have time for activities after school which probably affected my ability to make friends as much as anything else. So, the day a new transfer introduced herself to my class, I was surprised to see I was not the only one leaving earlier than everyone else. Not only that but the transfer student made herself at home inside my aviator.
Bronya was apparently a new girl staying at the orphanage who just so happened to be an expert hacker and a video game enthusiast. The former was a tad bit suspicious, but I wasn’t going to judge her for that when I knew how bad my parents were; she was probably just brought up that way.
Bronya, who preferred to be called Bronie was an interesting character to say the least, but her abnormal qualities were what made her… fun.
“Okay, you cannot tell me you’ve never gone to an arcade! I knew that Cocolia was boring but come on. You need to branch out a little bit, have some fun. I think this calls for a quick detour. Yo, driver don’t make me rewire your circuits, Seele here needs a taste of life. Take us down to Akiba street, were going to the arcade!” The silver haired girl demanded. After some pushing, I gave my consent to the driver to change course for the first time since I started needing him. I have never even considered going anywhere else.
“What does one do at an arcade? I’ve never really played games before.” I admitted. It was one thing to never go to an arcade but for how abundant gaming culture was on Punklorde it would probably shock most people that I had never even touched a game before. Let’s just say that Bronie didn’t exactly take that statement in stride.
“You’re weird you know. Luckily you have me around to set you straight. I don’t normally give out lessons to potential competition but seeing as though you would be lost without me, I can make an exception.” Bronie had been wearing the same school uniform as everyone else on campus but after taking an opportunity to go the restroom, she returned in full gamer attire. That was really all I could describe it as. She was clearly a fan of fighting games because she was cosplaying a popular video game character. I couldn’t remember her name. Her hair was still tied up with the bunny ear bandana but now she also wore violet shades.
As weird as it was and as much as she stood out, even amongst the other gamers, I couldn’t help but feel like she was cool. She definitely had some confidence to be able to wear that kind of stuff, so I had to give her props for that.
“Come on, I’ll show you all the high scores I got.” Beckoning me with a nod, an unforgettable afternoon ensued. I realized after the fifth arcade machine that she held the record for, that she had a reason to be cocky even if it was just for some games. It was impressive to say the least.
Even as I enjoyed myself for the first time in years, I couldn’t help but feel anxious. Cocolia expected us to be home by now and well I didn’t want to consider the consequences of coming back late.
“Hey, come on, don’t think too hard about stuff. The worst thing you can do when you’re playing games is think about the boring world around you. The orphanage will still be there when we get back.” Bronie encouraged in her unique way. I am pretty sure she just didn’t care for rules but maybe I needed to take the advice and live a little more freely.
After several hours of Bronie showing off and me failing miserably, we took some pizza up to the roof. I knew for a fact that it would be frowned down upon for us to be up here, but I couldn’t help but mirror the careless attitude of my new friend. I knew that she was looking down on me the entire time, but I couldn’t help but appreciate that anyone wanted to hang out with me in the first place.
So, as we sat down on the ledge of the two-story building looking into the dimly lit night sky. I had never been able to see the stars because the planet was so contaminated by the chemicals, the lights of city scape, and the dark clouds seizing its territory up above. After playing games I couldn’t help but wonder if this was all that was out there. Did people play games to escape from this harsh reality? Was there nothing beautiful out there in the universe?
“How do you do it?” I asked Bronie confusion lacing my voice.
“Hmm!?” She responded with a slice of pizza stuffed halfway down her mouth. She’s a bit messy too it seemed. I couldn’t help but grin at the silliness of it, but I was interested to hear her perspective.
“How have you been able to move on? How were you able to find solace?” My question barely above a whisper, conveying the emotion that gripped my heart.
Bronie finished the slice, taking her time to think over her answer. As she contemplated her answer, she looked at me with a sad look. Did she not like my question? Did I go too far?
“Being an orphan never meant anything to me. My life has always been this way as long as I could remember. How was I able to move on? I haven’t, I’ve never needed to. All the time I could have been spending on what I’ve lost, I spend instead on things that I found meaningful to me. Would I like to escape this planet and move on from all the crap that I’ve been put through, of course. But I am not going to be the one that lets my past control me. And neither should you.” Even with the ridiculous cosplay gear, her message got through to me. The words weren’t exactly comforting but the bluntness of her ideology was just what I needed.
“Do you think its possible? To leave this place and escape our past?” Was this polluted planet all we had for our future? Could the academy take us there?
“Of course I do, but we have to take it one level at a time. Most games have areas locked behind player progression so all we need to do gather up some more XP and we will be well on our way to see the stars. Who knows maybe we will live long enough to see a blue planet. I heard those places got oceans that fill up most of the planet’s ecosystem. I love water levels; the azure blue always jumps out on the screen.” Tapping her chin with her finger, she began to think of ideas of where she would like to go one day. There were a lot of options for sure, but I liked the idea of going to an ocean planet, I’d always hear in stories that they were the most beautiful.
“Well, I will be sure to invite you once I join the genius society. After that I will be able to go wherever I want. Nothing would get in my way.” Yes, I would be the one to come out of the academy a genius. No one had come close of course but that was the ultimate goal for the school after all.
“There’s some confidence. Keep it up and you might actually become as boring as Screwllum one day! I will be sure to congratulate you on your inauguration to the dictionary club.” The quip causing us both to laugh aloud. We should do this again for sure. I am so glad that Bronie was able to convince me to leave my comfort zone, I needed this.
“Step away from the ledge children. We don’t need to make this more difficult than it needs to be.” A robotic voice jump scared me from behind. It was a cop, ZCG Prototype VII. Did Cocolia call them?
“Ah, man, we really doing this after one day!” Bronie whined at the interruption. Something told me she was used to this kind of thing.
“Madam Cocolia warned us you might be a bad influence on other kids at the orphanage, but you surpassed the already low expectations. Anyway, Seele, Bronya, please follow me. You will be returning home immediately.” And the robocop didn’t leave room for discussion. He was armed after all. Not that I expected him to use anything on us, I just didn’t want to get in more trouble with Cocolia than I already was.
“Ugh! Y’all are such a buzzkill. Come on Seele, I already know what happens when you don’t cooperate with these guys.” She grunted, following them grudgingly.
What did we get ourselves into?
Thanks for the chapter author-san!!
TFTC