The chicken squawked as I ran toward it with the (extremely dangerous) stick. It turned around, flapping its wings furiously, and moved away as fast as its little claws could take it.

"YOU'RE MINE!"

I screamed and lunged at the chicken with the stick. It clucked in fear and an egg was suddenly sent flying toward my head. It cracked open on my face and the yolk inside splattered onto me.

"How despicable. A sneak attack."

This chicken was a coward. One could say it was...

Chicken.

Another egg flew toward my face, distracting me from my thoughts. Fortunately, I saw this one coming and dodged to the side.

"Hah, you won't get me with the same trick twi-"

A potential chicken with a bright future was wasted on my face. Rubbing the yolk out of my eyes, I saw the chicken running further away.

I can't believe I was losing to a chicken.

"Take this!"

I pulled out a grenade which I had been keeping tucked away for emergency purposes.

Hmm? Where was I hiding the grenade?

Anyway, I pulled the pin and threw the grenade at the chicken. It bounced and rolled slowly over.

The chicken, seeing the grenade, squawked and kicked it back.

"Two can play at that game!"

I sent the grenade flying back toward the chicken with a beautiful pass, if I do say so myself. As expected of a former world-class football (soccer) player.

I was determined to have some fantasy-world chicken today.

"Sir Cock!"

I heard a voice from behind me. An elegant young woman walked into view from behind a tree. She looked to be about in her mid-20s.

She was incredibly beautiful. By chicken standards I assume, because she had the head of one.

Like literally.

Her eyes rolled around as her beak moved again.

"Ah? Who are you?"

At this moment, the grenade had reached its target again. Unfortunately for the poor motherclucker, there wasn't enough time for it to kick it back.

The explosion was glorifying.

I may have caught one or two shards of shrapnel in my chest, but that didn't matter.

Parts of chicken rained down onto us, blood and guts falling alike. I scrambled around trying to catch the pieces into my mouth.

I heard a thump from behind me. The chicken girl had fainted and fallen to the ground, eyes rolling into the back of her head. More chicken for me, I guess.

I ran around, shoving delicious chicken into my mouth. I could feel the energy from the chicken flowing into my body.

Soon, all the chicken was gone. I licked my lips, still hungry.

My eyes caught on to the unconscious chicken girl who was still passed out on the ground. I walked closer with my stick clenched in my hands, ready for another meal.

She suddenly twitched and woke up. Sitting straight up, she screamed.

"SIR COCK!"

Looking around, she tried to spot any signs of the poor chicken. However, the only cock she saw was mine.

"What did you do to Sir Cock!?"

She yelled at me angrily.

"It had to be this way."

"Huh?"

I closed my eyes, reminiscing about all the memories I had with the chicken.

"He was a great rival. Our battle was legendary."

I sighed.

"But-" she protested.

I interrupted her.

"If we had met another way... maybe we could've even been friends."

The girl's eyes widened.

"I-I see."

I nodded, preparing to walk away. She watched me, still confused about the encounter.

"Hey..."

She frowned, still thinking.

"Wait a second!"

By then, I had already broken into a sprint, running as fast as I could.

Not because I was guilty or anything. I just wanted to work on my cardio a bit.

"HEY!"

I ran even faster.

"STOP!"

Man, I was fast. As expected of a former world-class track athlete. I was seriously leaving her in the dust, but it was to be expected.

After all, how could two legs beat three?

Soon, I couldn't hear her shouts any longer. What was with this world and its people's unwarranted hostility against me?

I ran along the dirt road, trying to make as much distance between me and the witness as possible.

Did I say witness? I meant chicken lady.

After a short while, I felt that I was safe enough to stop. I wasn't tired, not at all. I just wanted to give her a chance to catch up.

A game of tag isn't fun if I'm the only one playing.

I gasped for air as I looked around me. I was thirsty. The hot sun shining down on my bare body didn't exactly help either.

Fortunately for me, I saw a table to the side of the road with bottles of water on top.

"FRE WATUR" the sign beside the table read.

Well, don't mind if I do.

Taking advantage of this random act of kindness, I continued on my merry way.

Unscrewing one of the lids off, I took a sip of the water. It was really sweet. Is this what water from a fantasy world tastes like?

Then, I died.

Oh.

I forgot I was still bleeding from that grenade earlier.

Welp. Time to respawn!

 

---

 

"Hehehe."

The bandit rubbed his hands together in excitement from behind the tree. He had just seen a man walk up to his trap.

He didn't know why the guy was naked though. But those gleaming pecs, those tempting biceps, and the size of that...

Ahem. He was getting off-topic.

After the man drank his laced water, he would be able to tie him up and sell him into slavery.

Imagine the money!

The bandit dreamed about his future riches as he waited for the inevitable thump of a body falling to the ground.

A minute passed.

The bandit waited in anticipation.

Five minutes passed.

The bandit started getting annoyed. What was taking that man so long?

Another fifteen minutes passed.

The bandit jumped out from behind the tree, ready to confront the man about why he hadn't fallen unconscious yet.

He was trying to strike it rich here! Who did that guy think he was?

"HEY, YOU FUCKER!" the bandit cried out, ready for a fight.

The cold wind blew by, ruffling the leaves of the nearby trees.

The bandit stared in dismay at the empty tabletop. He searched around for any sign of the man, to see none.

The bandit shouted with anger.

"You dare scam me!"

The bandit's dreams of riches were no more.

Furthermore, that man even took the sign too...