Prologue: Happy Birthday
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"Heterochromia."
"I-I see... Will she have problems with her vision whatsoever?" The man stutters with fidgeting feet as he wonders about the safety of his newborn.
"Nothing of the sort. I'm happy to tell you that she's a healthy girl." The man smiles at me and says, "Thank God."
He takes his cap off and cries from the relief of the miracle of the moment.

Somehow, this dull and boring monochrome room is somehow illuminated by a single source. Not from above nor from outside, but right beside me.  She had taken her first step of freedom, her separation from the womb; and sooner or later, she’ll start to walk and talk. She’ll tell us about her dreams and hopes and bring her friends into the house. She’ll eventually feel sadness and envy and will get into fights, then she would start to be independent.  Then comes love, marriage, and family and the whole cycle starts again. That is what it means to be a human. A series of repetitions that ever so slightly changes. That’s why newborns cry. The thought of existing in itself is terrifying yet exciting.                                   

But, we were astounded by her silence when we expected loud, roaring wails.
Even though she's red like a tomato with bruises all over, there’s this peaceful and assuring expression of hers.
It felt like she was accepting wholly the gift of life, unperturbed by this truth.
The serenity of the moment took all of my worries away and I was preoccupied by the feeling of love and protection for her.

"My child."
Slowly opening, her eyes was the vast sea beside a fiery volcano. The sound of her soft breathing is as serene as the sound of the waves. I peeked at the window beside me and it was indeed the same.
"Pacific. That is your name."
The tranquil December ocean whispers into my heart, chipping the rock within.
“I couldn’t ask for a more perfect name." With my husband, Ryoichi, bawling from the happiness of the moment, I can't help but cry too.


After we were able to leave the hospital, we finally settled here on Marina, a small village by the shore. It was a traditional house of the Orient overlooking the sea. It wasn’t like the bright and vibrant aura that I’m used to in the west but it wasn’t very long before I was able to adapt to this kind of home. Everything is simple from the wooden walls to the sliding doors..The sunlight enters through the translucent panels ever so slightly and reaches the bonsai. Not to mention that outside is just incredibly quiet and peaceful, unlike the hustle and bustle of my old urban life.  With an atmosphere like this at this time of the year, being under the kotatsu is the best. Before I turned into a sack of potato in this comfy ass blanket, voices were heard coming from the entrance. As much as I’d like to stay there for eternity, I went up and went towards the noise.

Ryoichi is there with several people. Apparently, news about us newcomers spread like wildfire and before we knew it, neighbors flocked to our home to greet us. With only about a thousand or so residents, I can understand their curiosity. We welcomed them all and as soon as they saw Pacific, all we can hear are myriads of praises about her contrasting eyes, yet complemented each other.
"Beautiful!"
"She's so cute."
"Her eyes are so shiny!!!"

While Ryoichi entertains our guests, I can't help but notice this peculiar woman around my age standing apart from the rest of the neighbors.  Her long, silky straight hair blooms like wisteria. Being as pale as a ghost, it makes you wonder if a touch would shatter her porcelain skin. Wearing a crimson kimono, a mellow expression, and doll-like movements; She’s the ideal Japanese woman.  She has been quiet this whole time until she adjusts her black eyeglasses and with a smirk, she mumbled:

"The red eye is definitely from a demon."

Her opinion was baffling and I quickly retaliated.
"No! It is a ruby from the depths of the sea!" I proclaimed as I went near the woman. I unknowingly said that in a loud voice so everyone turned their heads toward us.
“Hmm… But demons are much more... H-Huh?” She opened her eyes widely and made a funny face, dumbfounded by the realization of what she just said.
"Miyuki! You shouldn't say things like that to a mother!" said another neighbor.
Understanding that everyone heard her "mumble", she clarified, "Sorry! I might have said something rude, Mrs. Hanasaki!" and clasped her hands asking for forgiveness.
"Something rude? It was definitely-"
"Ahh! Do you know fantasy novels? I make them as a living and my imagination must have took over when I saw your daughter." added a faintly laughing Miyuki. "Demons are cool in my world so-" Oh. She's talking about some novel or something?
"Okay, okay, I get it... Miyuki was it?"
I guess it was a misunderstanding in my part. Actually, it's her fault for saying something so misleading!  Mrs. Miyuki Hatano, who first seems to be a Yamato Nadeshiko, is actually a weirdo.
"Hmmm... Pretty sure he'll get along with her." uttered Miyuki.
“He?”
"My son."  Huh. She's a mother too.
"Also, you should definitely give a cat similar to Pacific. It will surely bring her good luck! When she turns three..." She went on and on about what to do with Pacific, then she talks enthusiastically about her son. I can feel that she’s quite a dependable mother despite being so strange in many ways.

Everyone’s been so… nice to us. It wasn’t what I’ve been expecting because of my appearance. Or is it precisely because of it that they treat us this way?
Ryoichi and I spent the whole day entertaining our neighbors. Time passed so quickly that the night is upon us. With the neighbors gone and both of us worn out, it’s bedtime.

"So, how are you liking it so far?" said the exhausted Ryoichi.

"I'm glad we chose this place."

"I glad I chose you."

"Hahaha. What the hell are you saying?"
As soon as he said that, he snores loudly! I thought he was faking it but after several attempts, he really seems to be asleep. After talking to that many people, he must be really tired. 

What I said is really true. I really am happy here in Marina. What I felt earlier… it was genuine.  Every single one of them was really eager to talk with us, to connect with us, and to make us a part of this small community.  I stood up and went to the veranda where you can see the whole town with the sea behind it. There’s something this place has thought me. Dazzling, flickering lights that lead to infinity. I look above and below and it’s the same. The pale white glow of the Milky Way and the street lights of the downhill roads. The sweetness of the full moon and the brilliant lighthouse that guides the ones in need. They’re all the same. 

Reminded of the earlier events, I ask the stars in the sky if they also enter houses of stars that just moved in their constellations. Maybe, directly above me, there is also a mother star so proud of everything right now that she can’t help but smile. You know, sometimes I don’t know what goes in my head. Convinced by myself that it is caused by exhaustion, I return to the futon where both of them are sleeping soundly.
"Ryoichi...Pacific... let's stay like this forever." With those thoughts in my head, I embraced Pacific and fell asleep.


"Mama, why are the other kids with two parents?"
"Papa is on a ship right now at the ocean."

Ryoichi finally left this village to do his job. It was sad for a while, but I know that he must be too and he's doing all of this for Pacific. So I held my composure, worked hard every day, and here I am. Her first day in this kindergarten was suggested by none other than Miyuki, of course. The building is certainly contemporary. Surrounding it are fields of flowers from sunflowers to daisies. Atop is a huge red flag and various colored glasses allows the sunlight to enter the four classrooms. Near the entrance, I spot Miyuki.

It seems that she is with a boy hiding behind her, presumably her son. He looks kind of like her with that jet-black hair and pale skin. This is actually our first time seeing him, as Miyuki justifies it with her weird reason, “It would be more exciting this way!”, even though her home is just a stone-skip away. Meanwhile, Pacific slowly approaches him and asks,

"Hey, why are you hiding behind your mama?"
"I am not hiding! I'm preparing my secret technique...”
He makes a strange “ninja” pose and exclaimed, “W-what! You have the demon's eye?!"
"No! This is a ruby from the sea! Not from ugly demons!" retorted Pacific.
"Ehh?! But demons are so cool." "No, they're not!" “Yes, they are!” “No, they’re not!” "Whatever! I'm gonna call you Aku-chan! I'm Hozumi! A dark mage!"

We mothers just laughed at the familiarity of the scene. I guess the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree.
"Hey Aubrey, do you want to come to my house? You might be a little lonely today, after all, Pacific wouldn't be with you today." said the visibly concerned Miyuki.
"No, it's fine. Catsuragi needs company too."

"Catsuragi?"

"The cat with different colored eyes."
"Aha! You did get a cat for her! Glad I helped!" saying it proudly.

"Whatever."

The teacher then called all the children as the clock struck nine. Some children, like Hozumi, came running toward the building. Some walked while looking back to their parents, including Pacific.

I smiled and waved at her, “Pacific, have a nice day at school! Make friends, okay?”

She does the same and replies, “Bye-Bye, Mama!” and enters the building. To think that it’s already been four years… This is the first I’ve been farthest from her.
...I should get her something special to eat. Maybe some cotton candy?


"Is that... cotton candy!!!" I ran to the cotton candy flowers!

“Okay? How about we play inside first?”

“Yes, teacher!” I never knew cotton candy grew from flowers!  I really wanted to eat one but teacher said later.
"Okay class! Let's go introduce ourselves!" Ms. Teacher-sensei is a tall and beautiful girl with orange curly hair.
"I'm Pacific Hanasaki. It's nice to meet you. I hope we can all get along!" I said that loudly so why are they silent?

One boy pointed at me and said "That eye is cursed!"
Then many screamed, and some said bad things like "Evil eye!" "Demon!" "Monster!".

Why are they so rude to me... I want to cry!
Then someone said, "Demons are awesome!" A voice I heard before. It's Hozumi's voice.

"Weirdo!" "Creep!" said the other kids to Hozumi.
*clap clap*
"Now, now, you shouldn't say hurtful words to your classmates. Okay?" said teacher.
"Yes!" said everyone.
"How about... you introduce yourself then?"
"I'm Hozumi Hatano! I'm the mage of darkness!" he says with fists in his chest with a big smile. Everyone laughed at him! But with that, their teasing went towards him instead.

After everyone finished their introductions, he went near me.
"Muahahah! Aku-chan!"
"I'm not Aku-chan!" I said this many times but he won't listen!
“Aku-chan!”

“How many times will I tell you? I’m not-”
"Let's be friends!"

“E-Eh?!”
Suddenly saying that… I guess he really is a "Weirdo."
"I know! I'm not normal like them! I have dark magic!"
“Idiot! Creep!” He really thinks he has powers but he did save me earlier.
“Then…”

"S-Sure. Why not?"

And so, Hozumi became my friend. We both went to the garden and the others were avoiding us at first. When I finally ate the cotton candy, others started to go near me and do the same! Teacher got mad at us all! Then we all played with monsters and animals and toys, everything! And right now, I am very happy! Hahahaha!
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Right now… I feel so empty.

I pointed the gun to myself.

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