Just the images of them having food and watching the sunset made her eyes teary and her stomach tighten. Either from regret or just from the fact that she was hungry.  

 Amanda, you stupid stupid stupid... Is, is this my punishment? Of my selfishness, of my greed? Will I go to hell because of this? 

Images of people burning up in the depths of hell, drawings with explicit detail crossed her mind. NO, that’s not it. That would be probably be the last punishment. I had to go through a different punishment tomorrow.

Sergei’s wry smile, the cold feel of his saliva and lips on her cheeks. The disgusting way he looked at her. All came rushing back. Horrible horrible. I, I hate it. HATE IT.

That’s it. I have to end it. Somehow end it before he does it tomorrow. At least die with dignity. But how will I ever find stuff to deal a killing blow on myself. I could stop my breathing, THAT WORKS. YEAH YEAH YEAH  

She shook her head. No, what the hell am I thinking?! If I can just withstand the embarrassment tomorrow, there just might come a chance of escape. But what if it doesn’t come? What if…

An image of Sergei sadistically stabbing her, killing her slowly and painfully as she screamed in agony came up. Tears came crawling down her face and she weeped.

“Hey, still can’t sleep?”

Amanda opened her eyes to see Mikhail curiously looking at her like a child.

This bastard. Still has his idiotic smile. I’d fucking strangle him If I could just take this stupid cloth and cuffs off. AUGHH

“If you’re too worried about tomorrow. You’ll lose today ”.

Amanda became surprised at the sudden enlightening words. She stared silently at the ceiling of the room, then sighed. He was right, even if the world was going to end tomorrow, what’s the point of being worried about it. There is nothing she could do now. She had to rest. And in case she doesn’t, she just might end up dozing when things actually might matter.    

“Still don’t want to hear what I have to say?”

“What would hearing you do?”

Amanda looked at him curiously, eyeing his reaction with patience. Mikhail cocked his head and spoke.

“Why don’t you try chanting something. Anything could do”

“What, why?”

“So, that you could sleep. For example, mam. I used to do that. Repeating something works just like a drug. You get bored with it and you fall asleep”.

“What, you’re mama’s little boy?”

“Just try it. It’s annoying to me if you keep moving”.

“Nobody asked you to use my leg as a pillow” grunted Amanda.

“Nobody resisted either. Just do as I say”

“Fine”

She thought to herself and slowly chanted the words.

“mam, mam, mam”

As the words started being preached Amanda’s eyes became drowsy. The thoughts that rolled in her head now seemed to have little grasp over her psyche than usual. And by and by the whole world seemed illusionary and drowsy as the chanting became rhythmic to her.