“SENPAI! ANY SENPAIS AVAILABLE?”

The usual treatment, but this time no one actually comes to go close to me or even look at me.

Senpais are much more brutal. Well, I mean I’m taking the role of the kouhai, who are usually assertive. Let’s see how this goes.

I wrap my arms around a girl.

I’ll try my best to be assertive.

“Senpai, let’s go home!”

It may have ended up being cheesy and cringey instead, but I can manage. This is really embarrassing in all honesty; it doesn’t look right when a boy does it. Hopefully, this passes as a start of a “story”, because I can really see this getting cancelled in today’s society.

Startled, she pulls out her arm in a quick attempt to get free.

“Wh-Who are you? Why are you touching me so casually?!”

Her tone was rather aggressive.

“But… I’m your kouhai, right? Gimme the nice treatment.”

I perk my face up to create a false image of innocence.

“Eugh!”

Though, I think it only pushed her buttons as her face turns into a hint of disgust.

“I’ll report you for sexual harassment!”

Gulp.

 “Come home with me, senpai!”

Because of our ranting, we receive suspicious looks from everybody around us.

“No. I’m gonna report you to the staff.”

This is bad. She’s really hammering down on me. If that’s the case-

“Man, if we both go home, it would be a nice experience, especially since we’re gonna be all alone…”

“Wh-What?”

The people watching begin to murmur.

“Then after you play games with me, we’ll sit on the comfy mattress. We’d look at each other feeling elated. We’d whisper how we felt after the experience and, and-”

She panics as more and more people take notice of us. Of course, I made sure to spread my voice to the crowd.

“H-Hey, what do you think you’re saying?”

“After we share that, cheeks red, you set the mood and touch my stick.”

“ABABABBABABABA- HUH?! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?! STOP IT!!!”

My inner self feels glee. I even giggle.

That’s right. To force an opponent, you present your trump card.

For a short second there, I release a snicker.

The innuendo. Often when an innuendo can be found in a sentence, and out in the open too, you attract an audience. The focus of the audience is not the one creating the misunderstandings, but the one you direct it at.

The murmurs become more apparent. The stares of the students were directed at us, though their piercing gazes were focused on her for most of it.

“You’d caress my stick, play with it, rotate it, and after all that touching, you’d leave and say… ‘I had a great time, the stick felt very good to touch, I’ll come over again soon,’ is what you said to me last time, don’t you remember?”

“AHHHHH, OKAY, OKAY, YOU WIN! NOW STOP TALKING BEFORE MY REPUTATION SINKS TO THE VERY BOTTOM!!! I’LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT!!!”

Anything?!

She punches my elbow.

“You punched me. I’ll continue-”

In a fit of rage, she rushes to me and covers my mouth.

“Mrmph! Mrmph! Mrmph!”

“No. You will not utter another word,” she says with a grimace.

To reciprocate her feelings, I carry out a smug expression.

This is what happens when you mess with me. With this intimacy she’s giving me too? She’s down to her grave.

The students who seemed to be her classmates and friends stared with confusion evident in their expressions. Wasn’t long before she noticed that she had set down a red flag.

“Wait, did I just say? No! It doesn’t mean what you think!!!”

A classmate of hers approaches her.

“S-So… you’re into willing to do anything for younger boys?”

She vehemently denies this accusation.

“NO! NO! NO! YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG! HE'S A COMPLETE STRANGER YOU SEE?!”

“A-A STRANGER?!”

Checkmate.

Their gazes fixate upon her and a crowd forms.

“She has sex with strangers? Creepy,” a young male student whispers to another.

“She hooks up with strangers that easily?” a female student from behind asks.

The murmurs flood.

“Just how much is the body count?”

“I didn’t know her standards were so low.”

“Shotacon.”

There was too much going on that she froze up.

A female student walks up to her.

“I-I THOUGHT YOU WERE A DECENT WOMAN!”

She ran away with tears.

Her right hand lets go of my mouth and tries to reach for her.

“N-No!”

This ultimately breaks her down and causes her to wail.

“AHHHHHH!!!”

Screaming, she runs to the bathroom.

…

..

.

I tell during lunch what I wanted her to do for me, which was to go home with me. Clearly, she wasn’t happy with this… or to be more precise, with me. Though, she agreed as long as I clear up the rumors afterward.

…

..

.

4:00 PM, After school

Ring. Ring.

Both of us are walking home. My face had a very bright smile while my senpai was rather gloomy. I suppose that’s understandable, I did make her reputation hit bottom low.

“I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you… What on earth is wrong with you?! What did you mean touch your stick?! That is just too much!”

“So the rest of what I said is valid?”

“… You are dirty. Everything you said was vulgar! That segment with the stick was the one that was really apparent!”

I tease her with an annoying voice.

“Shempai… what are you talking about, shempai? Our controllers at home are quite soft, shempai, the joystick is very fun to touch shempai… What are you thinking, shempaiiiiii??? Tee hee hee~”

Being on the receiving end of teasing sucks a lot, but it’s a whole different story for the one initiating the teasing. This is legitimately a whole lot of fun.

“You did all that on purpose. What did I even do to you?!”

“I just want shempai, to accompany me, teehee,” I say playfully.

“‘Tee hee~’ your face. What you said earlier was totally out of context!!!”

We exchange glances. I had a mischievous grin while she looks back at me with red angry glowing eyes.

You think you can defeat me? I have superior knowledge. No one can beat me in inappropriateness!

“You idiot… DIE!”

She beats me up black and blue. Most of her attacks were to the gut and to the face. I took all the hits, as I thought that dodging them would kill the trope.

“DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!”

Words force themselves out of my mouth as I cough.

“You… really are one big tsundere, aren’t ya?! Why don’t you just be upfront of your feelings and tell me that you like me?”

“I don’t like you not one bit! I genuinely hate you!!!”

“You’re just secretly in love with me~”

I alternately tap her shoulders with my fingers from each hand annoyingly. She responds by, abruptly grabbing my uniform by the neck.

Her eyes shine red and her aura fills with bloodlust.

“The next time you say anything like that again… I won’t hesitate to kill you.”

“Kill me? As if. This isn’t a psychological horror manga, you can’t kill m-”

My gaze meets hers for another time. However, the bloodlust seems to have taken another form, like it could actually kill a person. The atmosphere was shifting, giving form to another genre. An audibly dark genre at that.

A fraction of the barriers of genre protection wittled away, giving rise to the impending doom before me, making my heart skip a beat. Which is why I also narrated it in excruciating detail.

After she lets me go, I immediately bow down to apologize.

“AAAAAAAAHHHHH! SORRY, SORRY, SORRY, SORRY, SHEMPAI, I WON'T DO IT AGAIN!”

I-I might have gone a bit too far. P-Pushing the wrong buttons… I’ll be careful next time.

“I’m glad we can turn this into a simple compromise, ‘cause if you didn’t…”

Her eyes give my spine shivers.

Wh-What is this? I feel like I shouldn’t touch her or I’ll die, for real. I’m shivering. Th-This is a Rom-Com, isn’t it?

 

“You’re lucky ‘cause my home happens to be in this direction, otherwise, you’d have been pummeled to the ground by now. Oh and one last thing... I HATE YOU!”

I try to reach for her but decide not to.

Sh-She wasn’t tsundere, sh-she genuinely hated me... I’ll have my revenge on you soon, thot! But maybe not now… I can hold off the pranks for another time.

Shivers travel through my spine as I remember her dreadful eyes. Though, I overhear grunts in the distance. My eyes turn toward the noise.

A bunch of thugs gather around her.

“You look great, pretty lady,” says by the one with the Mohawk.

“Don’t touch me!”

She slaps away his hand.

“Hey now, calm down there, young missy.”

“H-Huh?”

She finally sees that she’s surrounded.

“Won’t you come play with us, lady?” one with a pompadour hairstyle says whilst grabbing her shoulder.

“Let… go!”

She flails her arm to shake him off, but the grasp was more firm than the previous, making her unable to do so.

“Won’t you come with us, pretty lady?” he queries.

“We promise you it’ll feel good soon,” a follow-up said by the one with the punch perm hairstyle.

THAT’S WHAT YOU GET BITCH! BWAHAHHAHHAHA!

“I said… let go!”

The expression on her face tells her growing worry and anxiety.

AHAHAHAHAhahahaha…

“Come on, just come with us…” Mohawk insisted.

Ahahahahaha…

“No! Don’t touch me!” she yelps.

Um, this is starting to look real serious... Should I act?... No! That bitch deserves it... but... NO... but… NO... ah shit, I’m leaving, I don’t wanna see any of this!

My body rotates a half-circle and marches away.

My home is actually the direction she is, but I think I’ll take one lengthy detour. This gives me the perfect excuse to stay out at night!

“HELP! ANYONE!”

Her voice breaks down and pleads for a savior.

“No one’s gonna help you, little missy… now let’s have some real fun…” Pompadour says.

Step. Step. Step.

An egregious voice rises.

“AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

They turn to my direction.

“FINEEEEEEEEE! JUST THIS…”

My head rams one of them.

“…ONCE!”

“BWUHHHHHHH!” Pompadour yelps.

Due to my strong thrust, he is forcibly thrown back, also letting go of his grasp. My body falls flat to the ground because of the impact.

“Brother!!!” Punch Perm says.

“That little piece of shit,” Mohawk comments.

The two thugs lock on to my presence. Thankfully, the one I knocked over fell unconscious.

Ouch... That hurt.

I try to get up and my face sees an abhorrent scene.

“What stunt do you think you’re pulling off, you punk?!” Mohawk screeches.

“Let’s beat him up ‘til he says sorry,” Punch Perm replies.

I get on my two feet and look at senpai.

“SENPAI!”

I manage to grab her attention.

The two thugs murmur questionably.

“Senpai?”

“Is he talking about the girl?”

I continue my statement, “Make a run for it, senpai! I’ll hold them off!!! Don’t worry about me!”

She hesitates for a second, and then makes a run for it.

The two thugs catch on and turn around to try and catch her.

“Sneaky bastard!”

“We won’t let you!”

Fools. You do not turn your back in a declaration of battle. For that, I punish them by kicking Mohawk’s legs. He trips to the ground.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t retract my leg in time to kick Punch Perm to the ground. However, once he saw Mohawk trip, he gets distracted by his own buddy that he goes to me for revenge. Idiot.

“You’ll pay for tha-”

His sentence is interrupted. Well, that’s because I punched him.

“SURPRISE PUNCH!”

I yell out my move, like a hero does, except mine looked plain and lame.

I’m not like those protagonists who wait for their opponent to get ready before fighting! I play dirty!

Though, true to its name, it was plain and even lacked force to knock him over. All I gave him was a bloody nose.

Dammit, I should work out more.

“Piece of shit. You think you’re a big shot?!” Punch Perm yells.

This is where I bring my counterattack!

Now for my attack! SHOWERING PUNCH!

I released my fist at him, only for him to catch it with his right hand.

Crap! If only I was a Shounen protagonist!

“Take this!”

He punches me in the gut.

“BLECH!”

It was the strongest… the first… the only time I got punched in the gut, and it was unbearable to the core. The punch was so intense I actually coughed up blood, so much so that I lose my balance and get on one knee.

So… this is what it feels like to be punched? It hurts… a lot more than what I thought.

The depictions in anime actually are no joke, huh.

Because of the impact, I am unable to move. My right hand is stuck cushioning my stomach.

The situation gets worse as I see Mohawk get up, receiving help from Punch Perm.

“Thanks brother. You showed him! But what about the girl?” Mohawk asks.

“Forget her; there are plenty of girls in the streets. But first-”

Their gazes direct at me and I hear their steps getting closer.

Step. Step. Step.

Mohawk reaches me and pulls my hair to see my strained face.

“How does it feel? It hurts, doesn’t it?”

I preserve my silence.

“Playing coy? Well then, let’s see how you fare against THIS-”

He launches a punch at the same place. It wasn’t as hard as the last one, but since it was hit earlier, it hurt a lot more.

“GAH-”

My yelp was cut short with a fist from Punch Perm.

…

..

.

They kept on beating me up. My face was bruised and my stomach was in no good condition.

“We won’t stop ‘til you say sorry to brother, just say the word and we’ll let you go!” Mohawk instructs.

I cough and laugh like a maniac.

“Hahaha… HAHHAHAHA!”

Like hell I will.

“HUH? WHAT'S SO FUNNY?!” Punch perm retaliates.

“You bunch are like kids. Asking for apologies? Who does that in this day and age? You’re not getting an apology from my mouth, assholes.”

They become irritated from my words.

“THIS KID REALLY KNOWS HOW TO RUN HIS MOUTH EH?!”

I receive continuous attacks from thereon. My vision was getting reary and blurry from the aggressive onslaught. Beaten to a pulp, I was reduced to a lifeless mannequin of flesh and bones.

I’m… a lot weaker than I thought. I thought… I could at least be above average, making up for my lack of physical prowess with strategy. But… experience is the best teacher, eh…

Everything felt slow. It felt like hours without end, although I believe I an hour hadn’t elapsed yet.

This is so dumb. Why did I have to go and save her… when she didn’t even like me… now I’m gonna meet a bad end because of some loser thugs.

The sounds entering my brain were barely audible, thanks to the countless blows I received earlier.

How pathetic… I expected more from myself. Is this… where I meet my end?

A whistle interrupts my thoughts. We all look toward the left, where the direction of the whistle came from.

A police officer was running towards us.

“Th-The cops!” Mohawk yelps out.

“Make a run for it!” Punch Perm yells.

They drop me and I limply follow the direction of gravity. I cough intensely.

“Wh-What about brother?!” Punch Perm worries.

“Let’s carry him!”

“H-Hurry! He’s getting closer!”

They carry the unconscious Pompadour on his shoulders and make a run for it. The police officer chases after them.

The cold floor was all I could think about, and it only struck me thereafter about their departure. It made me chuckle.

“Ha… ha… I… win…”

I’m exhausted. I... should take a quick nap.

Before I could fully close my eyes, I hear light taps… or that was what it seemed to me. I didn’t think of anything, I just listened attentively.

It’s getting closer?

In front of my eyes, was a blurry view of black shoes. Seemed girly too.

“Did… an angel… come to guide me to heaven?” I ask with no regard of the absurdity it entails.

I feel the gentle and soft touch from my left, which was touching the cold floor. The person that did so, lifted me.

“I’m s-sorry, it took long… how are you hanging up?”

It seems that my senpai has come back.

“Urgh… s… m…”

Sounds come out of my mouth, though they were all gibberish.

“What am I saying?... I’ll treat your injuries.”

She takes out a handkerchief.

“Mph…”

The soft touch of the handkerchief relieves me of my stress. It must be made of cotton. My breathing slows down and my heartbeat becomes stable.

She puts back the handkerchief in her pocket.

“I’m sorry… I’m really sorry you had to go through this mess. If I’d been any braver… If I actually stood up for them… you wouldn’t have-”

“You…”

“Hm?”

I raise my voice and fixate my posture in order to speak clearly.

“You… don’t need to… apologize for anything.”

“B-But-”

“I… chose… to involve myself with you… so this is my punishment. From this, we’ll call it even.”

She stops arguing with me.

Yeah, that’s right. You shouldn’t concern yourself with a mob character like me. It wouldn’t fit a character like you.

“Why… did you go all that for? Why did you choose to save me?” she asks.

Judging by how this is going, she'll feel very indebted to me. However, I don’t want to be associated with her not one bit, I mean, she flat out rejected me, didn’t she? Well, in order to shoo her away, I just need to think of some perverted excuse that would turn her off.

“Why did you save me… even after all I said?” she reiterates.

Eureka. I know just the thing.

“Ha! Did you think I was that selfless?! I only did it because you had a large chest, that’s all! Did you really think I would go and save you like a prince in shining armor? Consider yourself lucky to have a blessed body.”

“I've misjudged you. Bye.”

In a grunt, she leaves me hanging and beat up.

I don’t need you to feel any pity. I’ll just clean up the mess I got myself into. This has been a hassle, a mistake. I shouldn’t have tried.

Before eventually leaving, she turns around and heads back toward my direction.

“Look, you may be a pervert and all, but that still doesn’t change the fact that you saved my life, so… um… my name is Kazumi Suzuki, you can just call me Suzuki-chan.”

Chan? But she's older, ain’t she?

“Wh-”

“I don’t like being referred to as older. Even if you’re absolute scum, it doesn’t change the fact that you went and saved me. That assures me even you have a heart.”

I don’t know about that. You’re praising me a bit too much here, don’t you think?

“I-I’ll treat you to takoyaki sometime, or it wouldn’t sit right with me otherwise, got it? You have to accept my offer. You absolutely have to!”

“O-Okay then…”

Wh-What’s going on? A-Are my eyes deceiving me? This can’t be happening, right?

“A-As long as you stay civilized… okay? Anyways, can you stand?”

She offers her hand.  

I graciously accept the offer and she helps me stand on my two legs.

“I don’t know what I can offer you, but I can at least take you to a hospital,” she worries.

“There’s no need for that, really.”

To convince her of my well-being, I twist my right arm.

“See? I’m all fine and dandy.”

“Then at least… have this.”

She takes out the handkerchief from before. The spots of blood were indications.

“It’s all bloody, so I don’t really wanna keep it…” she murmurs.

“Do you want me to wash it?”

“No! It’s yours!”

The handkerchief is shoved into my face, which leaves me no choice but to take it.”

“Well then… s-see you later.”

She finally leaves.

Wait, wait, wait… DID I ACTUALLY JUST MAKE SOME PROGRESS?!

Note: Progress: 5% to flag capture.

…

..

.

I continue my walk to my house and eventually reach my destination.

It sucks. It sucks that I’m not a protagonist. To not be a protagonist of your own life is unheard of. It’s insulting… My parents are never home and my little sister has her own story to take care of. Right now… I’m all alone in this battle. But…

“I’ll keep going,” I motivate myself.

I have to keep trying. I need to write… my own story.

END OF EPISODE 5