Right now, I reside within my room.

“WAHHHHHHHH!”

It’s bad to get involved in time. I’ve never seen an anime or manga that did not involve psychological horror or thriller with time travel. One such example is Steins;Gate. Any involvement with time travel is a one-way trip to incur PTSD.

Note: This is his personal experience. There exists other series that do not have that aspect.

I groan.

“I thought I finally had it, too bad. Now two more chances… Hm…”

Hang on, let me analyze this a bit more thoroughly.

The situation I’m in. I keep focusing on the stories and the characters involved with them, so I try to adapt to that. But I’m pretty sure in all stories, there is a basic and general standard that must be followed. Of all those, I was not selected as a main character…

“Hmmmm… I GOT IT!”

The main reason that I do not have the role of the main protagonist is that...

“I do not meet the criteria… My personality doesn’t meet the expectations of that of a main character, and because it didn’t fit those even of a side character, I was set to a background character.”

Yes, yes! That’s it! Though…

“Aren’t there people who have much worse conditions? Oh hold on, they are probably antagonists or villain protagonists. But I don’t really want either of those roles though.”

So, I meet the criteria where I’m bad enough to not be within consideration of the protagonist criteria, but too good for the sake of the antagonist, yet also too mundane to be a side character.

“So, if I try to seize one of these extremes, I should, in theory, attain one of these roles.”

Obviously, I want to be a main character, so being a side character is not a choice. So I can choose to be either good or bad.

“I think this goes without saying and I’m sure the people around me would agree. I’m not exactly the best person, if anything, my cruddy personality leans me into bad.”

Acting like a saint wouldn’t really fit me. No, actually, it’s not, it’s more that my core personality is in stark contrast to one. I can’t really pretend to be like that for the life of me.

Now, with all that said and done, that means there’s only one path to go now, ain’t there?

What forms on my face is an uncannily sinister smile.

Fufufu~ My plan is perfect.

I express my disappointment, the dismay! To the action I am forced to choose!

“I can’t believe I have to resort to this, oh, truly. It is such a detestable act! A sin!”

I clench my fist, in full knowledge that my actions deceive no one.

“But I have to… Truly, how unbecoming…”

Stars shine through my eyes and I lift my fist up into the air.

“I’ll become the sacred protagonist, or in other words… a Hentai Protagonist! A Hentai Protagonist doesn’t require a personality; therefore it is the perfect type for me.”

The fine line between morals. It is perfect for a person, who refuses to give in to the extremes of either end.

“Hmmm, but I haven’t watched that much hentai lately. I guess it’s best to start early and study its tropes and stereotypes. I’ll start watching tomorrow night and make sure my sister or my parents, don’t catch me.”

…

..

.

 

April 21, 20XX

8:00 PM

My computer was on and I was scrolling through dirty sites.

Click. Click. Click.

Damned ads.

As is the case with dirty sites, they are flooded by stacks upon stacks of the most eye-rolling ads to be seen in human existence. It often makes me wonder how many horndogs have lost to these. It’s a rather sad thought to entertain.

Just as I linger through those thoughts, more ads appear.

“FRIGGIN’ STOP! I don’t care how many kilometers away the nearest bitch is!”

Click. Click. Click.

“I’m quite satisfied with my length, no thank you!”

Click. Click. Click.

“Another pop-up! Darn it! I got redirected again!”

The swarm is never-ending.

Bang.

Frustrated, I slam my desk.

“That’s it; I’m adding an ad blocker.”

Though, that didn’t really help at all either, since the site recognized my ad blocker right away.

I read the message presented to me.

“I’m sorry, we need ads to keep running this site. Please turn your AdBlocker off.”

URGHH!!!

…

..

.

A long montage of ads later, I finally arrive at the promised land.

“Tissues, check! Windows locked, check! Door locked, check!”

Everything is all set.

Thankfully, I had listed everything I was planning to watch caught from the forums of English-speaking sites. They know more leeway around this stuff.

“Starting from the fabled… Overflow? Now I wonder why this is so famous among degenerates. Let’s start.”

Note: Do not attempt to copy this degenerate.

…

..

.

9:11 PM

Eheheheheh.

“Hmm, it was solid. I’ve seen better and worse.”

Let’s move on.

…

..

.

10:10 PM

The numerous stimuli that play before my eyes. There were a lot of highs and lows in the literal sense, if you know what I mean, and I happened to rub out some rounds when the stimulus was too great. This pattern repeated for various times.

Pant. Pant.

“This is quite… the ride.”

Not only do I get to rub some off, I’m also able to enjoy my personal time and I get to learn more about its tropes and clichés!

“It’s almost too good to be true!”

Though, I stop my monologue and continue my ‘training arc’.

“I guess I’ll watch a rather infamous one. Actually, I’ll not name this one.”

…

..

.

After minutes of watching…

“Oh no.”

The door opened suddenly.

Nakatani barges into my room, “Onii-chan, time to slee-”

A voice plays on the television, “Your yogurt doesn’t taste yummy at all!”

And… of course, my door was actually open… SHIT.

Speedily grabbing the remote, I close the tab and turn the monitor off.

“So you’re into little girls? I see,” she says in disappointment.

“W-What are you talking about?”

I’ll act as if I’m watching some normal slice-of-life girl anime.

“That was just found in that particular scene. It’s not filled with little girls. If you don’t believe me, come see it for yourself,” I dare.

Reverse psychology! What are you gonna do Nakatani? Will you do it? Of course, she wouldn’-

“Sure,” she said.

Eh?

“You aren’t the type to watch those types of shows, right, onii-chan?”

She sits on my bed.

“So what’s the show all about?”

“Uhhhh… Ermmm… It was uh, a nice anime, erm, about a nice man with a booming ice cream store.”

“I wanna see! Oh, don’t try to trick me into watching something else! Quickly! Open the history tab, so we can pick-up where you left off!”

Author! This was a setup, wasn’t it?!

It’s the trope where a pervert is caught watching naughty things! The scene usually ends with the other knowing what they were watching. It’s inescapable!

Damn it. She doesn’t deserve to see the dirty things I watch. Is there any way… any way I can avoid the inevitable result?

I sweat furiously.

“Nakatani! Someone’s here. He says he came to return something I’ll let him in,” the voice of my mother says from down below, saving my skin.

“AHH! Mom! Wait! I’m not dressed!” Nakatani panicks and leaves my room in a hurry.

Thank goodness. Wait, my mom’s home? Since when?

I sigh.

Let’s carry on.

…

..

.

April 25, 20XX

11:47 PM

Finally, I have finally gathered enough intel. I’m ready.

“But first… I’ll… take a nap… a really… long one…”

Fainting from sleep deprivation, I immediately lose consciousness upon contact of the soft mattress of my bed.

…

..

.

April 26, 20XX

8:15 AM

I’m at school, in my classroom.

“Based on my research, the simplest way to become a hentai protagonist is to have long hair. My hair as it is has already gotten quite long but not yet to the point that it covers my eyes. I need to make it long, but how?”

I search on my phone.

“Apparently, I’ll need to wait 10 months to get 5 inches of hair on average.”

I’m not willing to wait for months for the perfect hair length. There has to be a faster solution.

“Hmm…”

…

..

.

12:00 NN, Lunchtime

Ring. Ring.

The school bell rings.

What options do I have? A hair growth booster is all I could think of. But I think it still takes months even with the latest technology.

I sigh.

“It finally came in handy, eh? Guess I’ll have to ask my club mates to make some, Arisu-sama specifically.”

Dammit, I accidentally called her that way again.

…

..

.

4:20 PM, After school

I rush to the science club room.

“Good afternoon!” I greet them.

A certain annoying person embraces my whole body.

“KOUHAI-KUN! HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN? IT’S BEEN DECADES! I THOUGHT YOU DITCHED US!”

“It has only been a few days. Besides, we gather in the classroom every day,” Arisu comments.

“And he did ditch us,” Toshiaki adds.

“Senpai, you don’t hold back, do you?” I tell Toshiaki.

“I did not ask you to call me that, so refrain from calling me that ever again.”

I free myself from the tight grasp of Yuu.

“So, you came here because you need something from us, right?” Arisu cuts right to the chase.

“Ehehe, how did you know?”

“No one ever came back here as club mates besides us three. They came back as students who needed scientific advancements. Clearly, you are no exception.”

“Ehehehe, you didn’t need to make me feel guilty.”

“If you felt guilty, then it has struck you because you did something wrong. I did not try to make you feel guilty, but I wanted to make yourself feel guilty. Oh, are you offended? Then let me apologize in advance.”

She bows.

“Sorry,” she apologizes mockingly.

“STOP YOUR SARCASM! And what you said earlier contradicted itself, and in the same sentence as that.”

“Oh? He noticed? Applaud. Applaud. Congratulations! The monkey finally learned to think instead of play all day, hooray,” she provokes me.

“ENOUGH OF THIS! I came here to make a simple request.”

“Oh? And what might that be?”

“Um, Arisu-san, can you m-”

“You can drop the formalities. You are still a certified member of our club.”

Yet she demands to be called Arisu-sama? Odd one.

“Fine, if you say so,” I clear my throat, “I want you to make a drug that can hasten my hair growth.”

I believe I hadn’t mentioned this before, but as you know, the trio of this club specialize in various fields, and Arisu happens to be an expert at biology, with some hand in chemistry from her daily potion and drug making. Yes, much like a witch.

Okay, going back on track.

“Hmm? Is that it? I can already give it to you since I already made some.”

She takes out a pill from her lab coat’s inner right pocket.

“REALLY? Thank you, Arisu-sensei!” I offer my gratitude as my hand attempts to grab the drug.

However, she closes her hand before I could do so.

“But on one condition...”

I knew it.

“If you promise to be my lab rat this Golden Week, I’ll give this drug,” she offers.

I sigh.

“Fine, deal.”

“Good. We have a deal. Oh, and if you may, can you sign these papers, for me?”

They appear out of her back and hands them over to me.

“What do these say?” I ask, knowing full well of its contents.

“Nothing, it’s just a prerequisite.”

“Okay, then.”

Scribble. Scribble.

The papers get signed one by one.

It should be obvious, but these are papers that basically say that I agree and consent to whatever she does, that she will not be held accountable for anything bad that happens to me, and all that stuff. Just some papers that should disallow any repercussions.

These are particularly worrisome, but assuming my plan is successful, I should be able to sever any ties with her, therefore invalidating any involvement of me on more of her dangerous experiments. It’s basically a gamble.

Finally, the papers are all signed.

She hands the drug over to me.

“Thanks.”

I go to leave the door.

“Oh, one more thing…” Arisu speaks out.

“Hm?”

“If you try to leave me hanging on Golden Week… I’ll have you know I have my ways.”

Man. I guess if I fail, I’m in real trouble.

“Yeah, yeah. I won’t chicken out.”

I close the door behind me.

It’s almost like I made a deal with the devil. But no matter, I will become a protagonist in no time.

“I will succeed. No matter what.”

Note: And so the preparations are complete! Will the young man finally achieve his dream of ruling over his own world? Find out next time.

END OF EPISODE 10