*°*. Father’s secret.
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I was changed and it is time to eat. Again? My guess, that's because I am a baby. Don't rebuke me myself. I don't remember how it is like to be a baby. It's like for the first time. Besides don't interrupt my concentration. It's porridge again. I need to be extra careful so not to dirty this beautiful dress. There is also bread which I won't eat with my dirty hands. Honestly, they will wipe my hands when they are changing me. But not before the meal. Why?

There was no incident this time, but it took me really long. I feel sleepy again. Being baby is hard. Even eating is a work. I haven't noticed, but maids are changing me again. No-o-o, I like this dress... Yeah, they won't obey a cranky baby. I am back in my room in a pale pink dress in a...

. . .

Good morning my new world. Ah, no, it is evening. Am I going to be changed? Yup. And it is another dress... Well... I know I am a noble's daughter, but is this really necessary? How many dresses does a baby need? I haven't dirtied the previous dress. Why can't I wear it again? Besides I don't like this light green one. But no one listens to baby. And no, you don't need to state the obvious myself. I know that I can't talk yet. My nurse maid... I am sure, I have heard her name, but I can't remember it... Anyway, she is carrying me through the corridor to my room with the crib and the carpet. O-oh! A dream like man is waiting for me there. He is blessing me with his confident smile. I am embraced by his perfume. And his luxurious dress caresses my cheek. I'm in heaven!

"You sure sleep a lot Rafaella"

Yes, I am.

"But that is what babies should do"

I know.

"Eat, sleep and grow beautiful and healthy"

I will.

"What a lucky father I am! To think that my holiday would be a day when you stood up, walked and talked for the first time. Margo can say whatever she likes, but I know it. You have called me 'daddy' and you meant it."

Of course I did, you were so sad.
"Da-dy"

"Hearing this makes me really happy"

Yeah, I can tell by the look on your face.

"But you can't call me that. Your mother is right about it."

Are you sure?
"Da-dy"

"No, Rafaella"

If you are not my daddy I am gonna cry!

"Oh, no, Rafaella don't cry, your father is here with you"

"Da-dy?"

"No, well...um"

I am starting to cry...

"OK, OK, OK. Hush up Rafaella. You win! I am you daddy"

Yay! My win! Lets make a victorious cry!

"But this is a secret Rafaella"

Oh my God! What should I do? His finger is on my lips. His finger is on my lips! I want to bite it. What do you mean 'what for'?! Are you really a part of me myself? It's like a yawing cat. The temptation is too strong. I have to catch it with my mouth!

"Ouch!"

I did it.

"Rafaella, I am not a baby soother. You are to big for it already, anyway... That's right. You are a big girl now, come with your father. He will show you the world."

. . .

Father this is just a part of a garden outside my window. I am sure the world is bigger. Though it should be a big revelation for a small Rafaella. But I am an adult. But I am Rafaella. Huh, that's too much to think about. Lets just enjoy the view. Being on father's hands makes it better.

"It's already summer, I am sure you will be allowed to have a walk outside very soon. There are a lot of beautiful flowers down there. But you will be the most beautiful of them"

Ah! So sweet!

*Step*

Guh! Tiana's presence is overwhelming. With just a single step!

"Oh, look Rafaella, it is Lady Tiana. It means your dinner is ready. I will take you there"

Ah, I'm glad to be able to spend a bit more time with my father. But I wonder does word 'Lady' has a special meaning? My mother was called 'Lady' and my father was called 'Sir', I believe. And I was called 'little Lady' once or twice. I'd say these words are related to status, but then the boss maid Tiana is also a Lady... What do you think about it myself? Hm, you don't care. Yeah, you have never done. That is something I would do. Do babies have their own 'I' I wonder. It looks like mine is nowhere around. Oh, poor me. Why do you ask myself? The one who should do the double work is me after all.

Anyway it is porridge again with some milk and I won't be careful this time. Why? I hope I won't see this dress again if it's dirty. And no bread.

Another change and... I am with my father again in a golden free dress. I guess it's mine night gown. But where is my mother? I've hoped we could spend some time together. Actually it is only me and my father. There is not a single maid around. Nothing I can do about it, so I am playing with bricks again. I'm putting them into lines. Father is sitting beside me and talking. I'm playing as if he is not around, but I am listening carefully.

"I've always thought that I will have a son or two. But I'm happy to have a daughter... Your life won't be easy, I must say. You will work hard like your mother, might be even harder... But I am sure you will be a wonderful duchess..."

Duchess? Ah, the duke's daughter is a duchess. I am a baby, but I already have my own status. I thought it's a title for duke's wife, though. Or maybe he speaks about the future? I have a feeling, that something is wrong with it, but I can't remember. I need to place this red brick next.

"Actually there is a secret that every man knows. It makes our lives a bit easier. But it's a secret that only a man can know. That is why now is the only time I can share it with you. A one year old baby won't remember it, but I hope it still will be useful for you.
The thing is. You have a wonderful power inside you..."

A wonderful power? Yellow brick. Is he talking about magic?

"... to make people beautiful."

Eh? What is that? Am I a stylist? Green brick.

"Just a few nice words can turn an angry monster into an affectionate pet"

Wait a minute? Are you talking about your flirting with mother? Oh, no wonder you can't talk about that with women. You have just called your wife a monster. If she have heard that... yellow... no... blue brick... she would have become one for certain. But that fits well in the theory. Be nice to your wife and she will be a nice person and work for you. Or treat her as someone bad and she will become such... Is it purple now or violet? *Yawn* Purlet! But father why are you saying this to your daughter? Do you want me to use this on my husband? *Yawn* Black! Oh, my poor husband.

"But this is not everything. As my grand father has taught me, the most important part is an intent. Empty words are just words. Intent is what matters."

*Yawn*

My husband...

Raf(aella): hey, Author!
What is it Rafaella?
Raf: that is mine question.
What are you talking about?
Raf: I am talking about all this me, myself and now 'I'. What is this?
Oh, it's a psychological concept that divides your personality on three parts: super ego, ego and it. In the text above 'I' is a super ego, 'me' is an ego and 'myself' is it.
Raf: why would somebody divide a personality?
It is easier to analyze it that way. A person has a lot of conflicts inside themselves. It might be easier to understand the root of the conflict if every desire belongs to some entity. Then you can resolve it by prioritizing a certain entity over others.
Raf: OK, then why would I divide my personality? Do I already have an inner conflict?
Of course not Rafaella. You are still just a happy carefree baby. It is only one of Sara's old habits and they die hard, as you know.
Raf: And why would Sara talk to herself? Or were the parts of her personality talking with each other?
No, no, nothing like that. She was just lonely back then. So she had imagined that they did.
Raf: I see...
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