The dreaded day had come. It was time for me to waltz into school in my brand-new body and see what everybody thought about it. The morning routine was very much routine for the most part. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and donned my new uniform like nothing was amiss. Aside from trying to avoid stepping on Reina’s toes in the process.

I stole one of the pictures from Reina’s board and tried to emulate the style as closely as possible. It took a few tries, but my perseverance paid off in the end and I managed to get it looking nice enough. Now people wouldn’t confuse us from behind.

But the real drama began when Reina insisted that I start wearing makeup. It was a line that even beyond becoming a girl physically I just couldn’t cross. “Sister, at least wear some foundation,” she insisted, wielding a small brown sponge like a deadly weapon. I ducked and waved her attempts to splatter my cheeks.

“I look fine! Leave it!”

Natsume cleared her throat as we were in the throes of our duel, “Stop fighting and get to school you two.” The sponge discarded and our bags retrieved, we set off on the walk. It was a chilly morning, but it would warm up quickly as the sun came out. I’d left my usual jacket behind and put on another, more normal coat. I wasn’t sure if Miyako wore it at school, it was too big. Reina didn’t have much to say on the walk there.

I broke the ice with a question of my own, “What if I’m not a student at all?”

“That’s silly – you have that uniform for a reason, surely.”

“Maybe god didn’t feel like changing everybody else’s minds too.”

We passed through the school gates and the teacher on duty didn’t say a thing or toss me out – so my mistrust was premature. The yard was busy as it usually was on a morning. A few of Reina’s groupies charged into the fray and stopped in front of us, “Good morning Reina!” the three of them chirped in tandem.

One of them glanced between us which didn’t help my nerves, “That’s weird, don’t you two usually come separately?”

“Who says we have to?” I replied.

She hummed to herself, “Okay, if you say so.”

I pulled myself away from the group and patted Reina on the shoulder, “I’m going to homeroom, see you later.” I didn’t want to push my luck with this act. I took my normal way to the classroom, opened my normal door and sat down in my normal seat. None if it made me feel any calmer about this, I was still waiting for the penny to drop and for somebody to wonder why this stranger was sat where Hideki used to be.

It never happened.

The homeroom teacher entered and ran down the register (I stumbled over my own tongue when he called Nakamura,) gave us the usual announcements about what as happening around the school, and then let us study or speak with each other for the last ten minutes. The room dispersed into their little groups and cliques. Somebody tapped my shoulder.

It was Kei.

“Morning,” I greeted him. Cognizant of the fact that he found my now sister attractive.

“Hey, you left in a hurry yesterday, were you okay?”

Oh yes Kei, I underwent sex reassignment surgery while you were gone – what else is new?

“Yeah, I feel fine now. I don’t know what was up.”

“It was weird that your sister dropped by. That’s the first time I’ve ever seen her anyway.”

“She was interested in what I was doing.”

“I thought you two didn’t talk much at school.”

I thought quickly for an excuse that sounded plausible, “We don’t, she’s always busy with the council.”

Kei took the seat next to me, which was usually empty because my neighbour would go to the other side of the room to talk to their friends. “You not wearing that jacket today?”

“Who says I have to? I have other coats.” My skin grew hotter and I felt pin pricks running down my spine. Even this innocuous question was putting me on edge. I’d overcompensated and started acting out of character.

“Come on, I’ve never seen you come to school without it. I mean, it’s always been too big for you, but it’s your brand.”

“Reina got all the charm, the fashion, and the good manners.”

Kei rolled his eyes, “But you both have the same looks. That’ll get you somewhere.”

“Between me and Reina, who has the best hair?”

Kei didn’t even hesitate, “Reina. Not sorry.”

“You like long hair better?”

“You know it. I’m sure we’ve talked about this before.”

“We probably have, we’re stuck on repeat.”

I was getting into it now. This was the kind of conversation that we’d have every morning before our first class. The surreal reality of becoming a girl and the sister of a near complete stranger slowly faded into the background.

“Did you see that thing on channel three last night?”

“I didn’t have time for TV, what was it?”

Kei motioned with his hands as if to act the story, “It was about this guy who ran away from the police for five years, and he had facial reconstruction surgery and everything. The police were looking for the wrong person for all that time, but eventually it drove him mad and he turned himself in.”

How convenient. In retrospect it was too convenient. The kind of convenience that would establish a thematic through line in a long running novel, or a moral of the week in the kind of Sunday morning television that Matoi enjoyed. The convenience of Kei bringing up this story was lost on me at first. Only the vaguest similarity touched the electrodes of my withering brain. That’s a story for another day, at the time Kei brought this up out of the blue.

“And?”

“It’s mad isn’t it? Changing your face and everything.”

“Celebrities do it all the time – get facelifts.”

“That just tightens up what’s there- “

“Tightens.”

“-It’s not like they’re changing the whole thing.”

“Why was he running?”

“You know, he killed a few people.”

“And that’s not the first thing you thought of.”

“No. Would you get a facelift?”

I shook my head, “What? Not to be egotistical or anything, but I look great.”

“Yeah, but if it was like – you were guaranteed to look even better!”

“Still no.”

“No scars, no pain, it’s completely natural.”

“We’re not talking about surgery anymore. That’s just magic. Oh, would you accept a billion yen, no questions asked and with no consequence, while also becoming staggeringly beautiful.”

“Yes.”

“Then it’s not much of a question.”

Kei finally got my point. “But I’m used to the way I look now. If I become ‘staggeringly beautiful’ I couldn’t get used to it.”

It clicked with me that perhaps what was happening wasn’t on the level – maybe Reina’s shrine god had set this up as some sort of elaborate moral lesson about being happy with myself. I sighed and collapsed into my chair like a puppet with it’s strings cut. Even my safe place of speaking with friends had been tampered with somehow.

It wasn’t out of the question. This god had convinced Reina’s parents that they had a third daughter and all. Making Kei start this conversation was nothing. But it didn’t make sense to me even then, I didn’t feel any discomfort when I looked at myself anymore. I couldn’t. So why was this discussion happening? To make me feel bad? And I couldn’t press Kei for answers. He didn’t know.

Maybe he was searching for self-reflection or rejection. I had no patience for either so I tried to derail the conversation the best I could. “What’s got you all… philosophical today?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know. It really captured my imagination for some reason.”

“The only thing that captures your imagination is my sister.”

“And music.”

“And music about my sister.”

“Hey! I told you not to talk about that.”

The teacher yelled out that it was time for the first lesson. “Club later?”

“Obviously.”

Kei skittered back to his own place as my neighbour returned. My mind drifted into autopilot as our Mathematics lesson began. To be truthful I was thinking about what had just happened.

It was worrying me.