The note slipped between the wooden bars of the shrine’s donation box. I held my hands together tight until my knuckles turned a shade of white and closed my eyes. I wasn’t expecting anything. The God that had held control over me was an arbitrary kind of man. He came and went as he wished. As the wind fell away though, I knew that I’d found his presence once again.
I opened my eyes and gazed upon him. His form had altered slightly since the last I saw him. There was something otherworldly about him now. He had a faint glow that outlined his body like an angel, and his voiced spoke with an echo that sounded like two people at once, “Curious. Miyako, do you now see me as more than I was before?”
“What does that mean?” I walked closer to him in a field of endless white.
“The last time we met you saw me as a mere man, but over time you have come to realize that I am not simply a man. Therefore your perception of me has changed, you view me as an amalgamation of godly tropes and images.”
“Is that a problem?”
He chuckled, “No. I was merely observing. The form of my body matters not to me, it is ever changing. Unlike the human mind – which is dead set in many ways. I will cease taking any of your time, you came here for a reason.”
“Why can’t you help Shinsuke?”
His smile faded, displaying a depth of emotion that I previously had thought possible from the godly being. “Your friend Shinsuke? There are many in this town.”
“Of course.”
“I cannot read your mind, although I suspect that a smart girl like you has already figured out the real reason.”
“…His parents.”
“Not just his parents, he himself doubts the solution that you are offering. You remember what I said about free will, do you not?”
“You can’t change what people don’t want.”
He nodded and held out his arms, we were stood in the garden at Reina’s house. “But more so, we can’t be the solution for every man’s problems. Some feel that they deserve their suffering, others do not believe in us despite what they may say publicly, or we may simply feel that they don’t deserve a miracle.”
“So why did I get one?”
“Because you are lying to yourself. Your stringent denials of finding a new lease on life are not convincing to a God that watches what you’re doing. You say you don’t deserve my mercy, yet you accepted it anyway, you agreed to this contract.”
“No, I was asking if you think I was deserving.”
“…Not particularly. That is to say, your path down the branches of fate would not end in disaster. However that path would lead to greater misery versus what I offer to you now. Reina's faith tipped the scales in your favour.”
“And you know what would have happened?”
“As I said, to an extent. The further away from now we travel the more varied these futures become. As of now I know what the mortals will do, I know what choices they will make, I know how their systems work. But in the future those things will change, and my predictions will become increasingly unreliable.”
“So what was the path where Reina didn’t ask you for a favour? What would have happened to me?”
“You would have been supported for your last year of schooling. Unfortunately, you would not continue your education into University and beyond. You would find a stable job in town and continue to live in the house your Grandmother left behind. You would file away the things that gnawed at you and find a partner, but the cracks would form quickly.”
“…And?”
“There would come a moment where you could no longer lie to yourself. You would realize that you were unhappy with yourself and endeavour to fix it, you know what that is. As do I. Any further than that is beyond me.”
It sounded easy enough to be true. I’d started to believe just a little of what he’d told me ever since the start of this ordeal, “And Shinsuke?”
He held up a single outstretched finger, “Ah, I don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
“I’m not one for giving out fate readings for other people, and beyond that – you don’t want to know do you? You want to make your own decisions without my prompting, do you not?”
“…I don’t know.”
“You do. You just need to have the confidence to take the first step.”
He clapped his hands, and I was back at the shrine. Not even a goodbye. There was still something else I wanted to ask him – but I knew that he would have refused anyway. I kicked the ground with the tip of my boot and grumbled. The air was cool. I shivered as a stiff breeze rolled through, now unbidden by his power.
The walk back home was quiet. I unlocked the gate and let myself inside the compound. I took off my shoes and shuffled through the hallway until I reached my father’s door, “Dad, are you in?”
“Yes.”
I slid it open and slipped into the room, “It’s not a bad time is it?” Father had a paint brush in between his teeth, and his hands squeezing out a thick glob of white paint onto his palette.
“No,” he said with his mouth full. He spat the brush out onto the floor and waved me inside, “Sorry. I shouldn’t talk with my mouth full.” I folded my legs and looked at what he was working on. It was a nice landscape picture. He had a reference photo stuck onto the bottom of it – a commission from one of his regulars. “What do you want to ask me?”
“What do you think the right thing is?”
He clenched his teeth, deeply carved wrinkles showing themselves on his cheeks and forehead. “You already know what I think. I’d report it to the police right away.”
“Ugh, but I don’t know if that’ll even help.”
He shook his head, “Your friend, has he been telling you that he’s scared of speaking out?”
“Yeah.”
“Miyako, you need to remember that he’s being pressured into staying silent. At the end of the day he’s a victim. While it’s good that you’re considering your friend’s feelings, getting him out of that situation is the best thing to do.” He was right. This wasn’t the time for me to delay. Every moment of my hesitation meant that Shinsuke was in more danger.
“I’ll do it. If he’s not going to do it himself.”
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