Chapter 18:
In order to allow me to flirt with my 100 waifus, Cute-sama had been kind enough to give us all an inborn universal translator. Though American in origin, I was able to speak and read Japanese without issue. If Cute-sama had been stingy I suppose she could have stopped there, but she even allowed us to understand German, French, Russian and all the rest of mankind's tongues as well. It was due to this language assist that fantasy worlders like Lyria were instantly aware of Terran terms like copyright infringement. Most importantly, we could all understand and speak Abh, or Lafiel would have been in a real pinch. Even fantasy world languages like Myusel's were all liberally translated by our great Goddess' benevolence.
I was worried if our children would be equally fluent in all languages, but it seemed like they should be. After all, part of marriage was children, so if our children couldn't communicate with their own family members (everyone in this world was part of one giant family thanks to the virtues of polygamy) it felt like a gyp. Cute-sama had never let me down so I figured it would be fine.
I was also worried that our children wouldn't look like anime characters anymore due to my normal Terran genes. Cute-sama had given birth to a new species of mankind, all with big beautiful eyes, small noses, hair that could form impossible shapes and move in impossible ways, and other subtle features as per the character designs of their stories. (Sakura Kinomoto cast Illusion on Louise before her trips to Earth so she wouldn't stand out) What happened when boring old me was mixed in with such unparalleled beauty? Cute-sama's one teaching that had been passed down to us was that 'Cute is Justice' so I figured our babies would be as cute as their mothers. Again, I just couldn't imagine Cute-sama letting us down when she'd so thoroughly granted my original wish in such a compliant and generous manner. The new breed would all be along anime lines and my contribution really wouldn't show up, externally, at all.
There was a more pressing issue now that many of my wives were pregnant, and that was the education of the next generation. My wives were all exceptionally moral people so I could trust them to be good without any instruction, but there was no guarantee our children would turn out so well. For children to grow up correctly, they would have to know and believe the right things, and be exposed to the right influences, while shielded away from falsehoods and temptations.
The question was what exactly the curriculum should be. Since we were wholly isolated from Earth, there was no particular need to raise my children to be racist or xenophobic. That issue had taken care of itself. There were no Jews so there needn't be any antisemitism. There were no Muslims or Christians to spread their dumb heresies against the one true Cute-sama needing defenestration. We lived in a classless society with a citizen's dividend and I was its eternal dictator, whose rule was backed by girls with ridiculous superpowers, so there was no real need to teach them economic or governmental models.
When it came down to it I only foresaw two serious flashpoints needing special care. The whole motley assortment of LGBTQwhatevers springing up and spreading rot and degeneracy across the land, and feminism. Once a new generation of boys and girls were born, there would be girls who didn't want anything to do with boys, or girls who thought boys shouldn't have any rights, because it was convenient and self-serving for girls to think this way. If left alone children would recreate the same pitfalls I had escaped from thanks to Truck-kun.
Since nothing in our environment or upbringing would encourage LGBTQ'ers, including a lack of modern chemicals in any of our manufactured goods, hormones in the water, etc., and since we all had healthy young bodies that should not be liable to defective mutations, I was confident the rate of sexual degeneracy would be extremely low. Whatever the cause of homosexuality, our society was about as unlikely to produce any such factor as humanly possible. But there would always be some portion slipping through the cracks and gumming things up.
I decided it couldn't be helped. If a child ended up wanting to do and be weird things even after all the natural protections afforded to him or her, I would have Orihime 'reject' the error of their ways and make them straight again. If Orihime weren't around I would have thrown them off a cliff so this was already the merciful solution. There would be no transgenders mutilating their genitals, no drag queens parading around in leather, no loose-sphinctered bathroom stall encounters between anonymous strangers, no women deciding they preferred each other, just full stop. We were going to be a healthy, decent, normal society with the maximal chance at happiness for all.
Girls who didn't see the point of boys, marriage, or childbearing, and just wanted to go to work every day would be a much more common syndrome. My answer to that was again a forceful chopping of the Gordian knot. Since there was no subtle way to manipulate girls into love and motherhood, I would just mandate it by law. Every girl must marry by age 20 and have at least two children by age 25. If they grew up with that expectation in place, they should be able to arrange their future hopes and dreams around it. So long as they weren't constantly fed male-hating poison from the schools and the media, they might even look forward to it. Girls were free to pursue careers if they wanted, and with eternal youth they had plenty of time to do both, but first things came first, and family should always come first.
As a polygamist, I thought it would be a little hypocritical to ban polygamy, so I decided if that's what my daughters wanted they could have it. Without Cute-sama's editing, though, I doubted it would be a commonly favored option. The number of boys who would be left with no one as a result would be a shame, but that was how sexual selection worked. If you couldn't even be as enticing as the prospect of being someone else's 2nd or 3rd wife, you probably shouldn't be reproducing anyway. If they became absolutely miserable due to loneliness, I could always throw them off a cliff too.
Another problem reproduction would bring about, in combination with the Silver Crystal, was overpopulation. The homey atmosphere we had created with our tiny village would soon be swarming with people, with all the accompanying costs of overcrowding, pollution, resource depletion and the loss of our familial bonds where everyone knew and loved everyone else.
However, I decided that for everything lost due to a rising population, there would be offsetting gains. Perhaps we could have a diverse enough workforce with enough useful skills that our economy wouldn't have to rely on magic anymore, which would have to happen eventually because even beneficiaries of the Silver Crystal weren't immortal. There would be more chances for people to make friends and find a husband or wife to their liking. We could play sports again. There would be a higher chance of scientific and artistic innovations.
Most of all, we could afford a space program, so the moment Eden looked like it was filling up, we could start chartering whole cities off to foreign worlds. The universe was vast. I suppose eventually even it could be overpopulated, but that wasn't my problem. I'd be long dead by then. Billions of years from now our descendants would have to work something out themselves.
No, even though I'd been enjoying our world's minimalism, I enjoyed even more the idea of large families with lots of siblings playing and learning together and lots of dashing young husbands and wives having intercourse with each other with complete abandon as to the inevitable consequences. The population would just have to get out of hand.
As for moral instruction, I decided to introduce an "Arts, Literature, Philosophy and Morality" class, where my children would all be mandatorily exposed to the greatest books, anime, movies, video games, visual novels, music and manga that I had discovered and treasured while on Earth.
They didn't have to read and play and enjoy all of them, but for at least that two hour long session of the school day, every day, they would have to pick from the list and enjoy one of them. I figured that by the end of high school, with that many great role models to choose from, they would at least be in the top 1% of morality compared to what you could find back on Earth. And that would be enough to ensure the felicity of their married lives, that they took care of their health, learned good manners and courtesy towards others, and were honest and upright.
Some of my wives were prepubescent and even though via the magic of 'Little' I could properly have sex with them, children would never come of it. As a matter of fact 9 year olds had given birth and their infertility couldn't be taken as a given, but Asians developed slower so Ai, Miu, Rin Nohara and Illyasviel were in a bit of a pinch.
I thought it was a shame that they'd be left behind, but in fact they really hadn't lived enough of their own lives to suddenly be raising children, and I really really enjoyed their original loli looks from their anime, so at least for now it couldn't be helped. With so many pregnant women at once, we would need the non-pregnant wives like Ai and Miu to pitch in and help out with daycare anyway.
I'd consider letting them age a few years so that we could start our own families a decade from now. Once I'd tasted their current charms enough. Promise.
It was good to be mayor. I finished typing out the outline of our future growth and stretched with contentment. With the proper structures in place, I would show Cure Flora a long line of alternative statistics -- obesity: 0%. tattoos: 0%. divorce: 0%. single motherhood: 0%. drug use: 0%. alcoholism: 0%. smoking: 0%.
If any of our precious children came down with mental illnesses, the Hospital would take care of them. If Elize couldn't do it Orihime could. So depression: 0%. autism: 0%. attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: 0%. schizophrenia: 0%. God bless the healers of this world.
There would be no advantage to doing crime in a world already giving out a citizen's dividend and no ability to escape the swift punishment of the law, not with Reina and Fate on the job, so let's chock down crime: 0% while we're at it.
Guns would not be available to the general public so spree shootings: 0%.
Children drunk on the joys of anime and taught to worship Cute-sama could not possibly lead to terrorism, so I checked off another 0%.
Poverty was impossible in such a bounteous resource to population ratio as Eden, magicians who could literally create anything needed out of thin air, and the citizen's dividend, so 0%. That also meant debt was set to 0%. Everyone would be given anything beneficial to them for free if they couldn't afford it by normal means. I would gift it to my children and grandchildren myself if needs be.
The STD rate would be 0%. None of us who originated here had an STD, so no matter how much sex this world had, we were forever free of consequences. If an STD naturally evolved well then Cheria or Sherria would take care of it.
For that matter all diseases of any sort would be forever 0%.
I smiled involuntarily as I kept plopping down 0 after 0. Anything I could think of was set to 0. I was almost feeling guilty and thinking I should have at least some insoluble problem that would cause a lot of anguish, but I couldn't come up with anything.
The suicide rate would probably be above 0, especially for guys who couldn't get a girl to turn their way, but even that would be lower than on Earth. And for every suicide there would be ten more happy children coming into the world ready to take their place.
Infant mortality rate? 0%. Thanks to the hospital. Maternal mortality rate? 0%. Thanks to the hospital.
Risk of losing a war with aliens? 0%. I'd love to see them try against Sailor Moon on her own. I was getting giddy comparing all the 0's I could email Flora's way and started writing sillier and sillier things.
Gluten intolerance? 0%. Allergies? 0%. It was nothing the hospital couldn't take care of. Insomnia, indigestion, constipation? 0% 0% 0%.
Car crashes? 0%. We flew around on summoned beasts. Commute time? 10 minutes tops.
Retardation? 0%. Ugly people? 0%. Not from the wombs of my wives!
0% of our music would include rap.
This was a world so lacking in problems that Flora wouldn't have to worry about anything, even 1,000 years from now we would still be living in Paradise. And together we could watch as many happy generations go by, all succeeding one after the next, as we could possibly want. For that matter we could have 100 kids ourselves and watch them all grow up happy no matter how old we became. Whether children or great-grandchildren, there was a 0% chance any of them would fail. It was just mathematical.
