It wasn’t until the third day that I managed to find a cultivation book I didn’t immediately dismiss as ridiculous. And it still wasn’t perfect, it just was the best I could find.

And that was a bad sign. I only had until the end of the week, and I was pretty sure that literally every other new student had started cultivating already. And, on top of that, when I did start cultivating, I was going to be basically useless at it.

The past three days, I was fairly sure that I’d driven Elder Swan, Madame Scroll, and any other teachers that had been around a bit insane with how many questions I’d asked. “Can cultivating one method make it harder to cultivate another?” (Yes.) “If I take one manual back to my room, can I take another?” (Only if you return the first.) “What did you cultivate when you were tier zero?” (That’s a secret.) “What about Elder Moon?” That one had just gotten me laughter.

I was basically in the exact same spot I’d started, but with a few manuals collected in a hidden little spot I’d found near the start of day two. These were the ones that seemed the most reasonable, but were still a little bit ridiculous. One where I was supposed to smear flower petals over myself for hours on end, one where I was supposed to bathe in a vat of honey, and one where I was supposed to... well... do something. I was ten years old! And I had no interest in that kind of thing, especially not in this body!

Honestly, I was starting to feel like most of these manuals were jokes. Was all of this some kind of crazy test, or something? The academy’s teachers and elders had basically just greeted us and then dumped us here, they hadn’t taught us anything about cultivation... It had to be some kind of test. But... why? Were they trying to weed out the useless vi masters, maybe?

I sighed. On the other hand, maybe I was the dumb one. Maybe I still was missing a bunch of memories that would have made this easier. Or... actually, maybe was there some other trick that everyone else had already figured out? Maybe it had made it so they’d already found the good cultivation manuals.

If I had to be honest, I actually had no idea. Heck, maybe they were all actually just as clueless as I and I was the only one putting enough thought into this. 

I guessed I would find out when the week was up.

Anyway, up until now, the best manual I’d found was the Meadow Energies Cultivation Method. This one had you sit in a meadow and meditate, and it was apparently supposed to be more effective for female vi masters, though it didn’t say why. See, my main dilemma was that I wasn’t sure whether that was a bad thing to go for, considering my current predicament. Like, an aperture wasn’t part of your body, it was like a mystical space within your mind. Opening the aperture was akin to opening a third eye — and I was aware there were cultivation methods and vi that actually made it function as one. But none of that had anything to do with your body, that’s just where the entry point was. So it should be genderless, right? Or it should have more to do with me and less to do with my body?

...In all honesty, I was just blindly reaching. For all I knew, in my current state, this method would be even worse for me.

Agh! I wished I had some kind of guide to help me sort the useless and the useful! I had too many questions and nowhere near enough answers!

 

---

 

By the fifth day, I had turned searching through manuals into a science. In my stash, I had collected a whole thirteen candidate manuals, but none seemed quite like what I wanted. At this point, I wasn’t just fairly sure that I’d driven my teachers, elders, and Madame Scroll insane — I was sure of it. Whenever I came over to them, they would roll their eyes and sigh exasperatedly. Apparently not a single other student did what I was doing... But, well, I couldn’t figure out why that was. I could only assume that they’d just found something flashy that sounded easy and gone with it, or they’d taken one of the teachers’ or elders’ recommendations. (They’d given me recommendations as well, of course, but none of them suited what I was looking for, obviously.)

That’s not to say there weren’t any students that came back, because there were. I was pretty sure I’d seen at least six people come back looking for new manuals, a few of them looking multiple times, but... well, none of them were here all day long like I was.

Okay, not all day long. I’d gotten into the habit of eating a large breakfast every day at the academy’s dining hall — one large enough that I was making it last all day. That way I wouldn’t have to walk back and forth multiple times! 

Hey, at least no one could say I wasn’t dedicated, I guess?

And, hey! Where was my sister! She’d disappeared just like the rest of the new disciples... That was so confusing. I hadn’t even seen her past the very first day, almost like she’d grabbed the first manual she’d seen and just gone with that. What gives? Why couldn’t she have helped her sister out?

Probably because she didn’t realise that I was her sister, if I had to guess.

You know, at this point, I thought I was probably going a little bit stir-crazy. Cooped up in this bizarre building all day long, reading hundreds... no, thousands of the most ridiculous manuals... And being stressed out of my mind that I’d run out of time and have to go with something that didn’t do what I wanted it to.

And, like, if the one I chose didn’t work, I’d have to go back and try another, so on the last day I’d need to save time to take turns with all the books most likely to do what I wanted. I’d probably try to cultivate right outside the library, or something, provided there weren’t any special requirements in the method that prevented that.

I was trying to be as methodical as possible about this, but, honestly, it was so hard. I had no idea what I was doing, or whether any of it would work, or whether it was even any use. But I knew I had to keep going... so I did.

 

---

 

On day seven, I skipped breakfast. I didn’t have time; I needed to spend the entire day figuring out what manuals I was going to try and in what order. There were too many of them to do anything else — my stack of manuals was already thirty-seven tall! I had manuals that required cultivating under the stars, or the moon, I had manuals that required cultivating in all kinds of temperatures of wind, or of water, I had manuals that required cultivating while drinking teas or wines, or eating cheeses or fruits... I even had an interesting manual that suggested I only ever allow myself to sleep for one hour at a time, and when I eventually fell into a deep sleep after cultivating, I would then be able to cultivate within the dream itself.

There was one thing that tied all of these methods together — they were all to do with girls. Some of them said they were more efficient for female vi masters, some of them said they would only work for female vi masters, some of them said they would increase a female vi master’s beauty...

I wasn’t entirely sure what “beauty” would do for me, given that I was currently not in a female body, but every one of these manuals was potentially the one that could solve all my problems, and that made each of them worth their weight in gold. (Even if they were actually useless.)

Unfortunately, I was now out of time, which meant I would just have to hope that the manual I needed was here. 

As I walked into the library that morning, expecting to find my stack of thirty-seven manuals and spend the day working through them one by one, taking them back to my room and trying them out to see what the results were... I instead found the pile gone.

I started panicking immediately. I mean, it was obvious... what else could I do? That was six days of work! Now I was back to square one?

Someone snickered behind me.

“Oh, Midnight,” a high-pitched voice sighed. “Midnight, Midnight, Midnight.”

I spun around to see my sister, standing menacingly there with a boy and two other girls. “Wh-what do you want?” I asked.

“Oh, nothing,” Morning Rain tossed her hair back. Did she just... I was pretty sure she’d just slapped one of her friends in the face with that. “I already got what I wanted,” she continued. “In fact, you were the one that found it...”

I felt the colour drain from my cheeks. She found my stack of manuals? “You... my manuals?” I stammered.

She smirked. “You realise that from the other side of the library, you can see into this little place of yours, right?” she gestured up and across to a balcony that I’d previously assumed was on the second floor. Well... shoot!

“Before we came here, Papa told me to find the Silent Moon Cultivation Method, but to settle for the Yin Cultivation Method if I found that first. Apparently it’s good for the girls in our family? Anyway, I happened upon that immediately, and nearly settled for it, but decided to take one last look yesterday. While I was here, I happened to see you in this little area, running back and forth doing... whatever it is you were doing.”

I covered my face with my hands, and my sister continued: “So I poked around in here after you left and found your stack of manuals. I have absolutely no idea why you collected so many manuals for girls, but it worked out perfectly —  who would’ve guessed that you’d find the Silent Moon method for me? You must really care about your sister. I’m so happy you’re here, brother,” she grinned a malicious little grin.

My heart was sinking. “Wh-what did you do with all the other manuals?”

Morning Rain smiled warmly, a glint in her eye. “Well, my friends and I decided to be helpful and sort them in with the other manuals where they looked like they’d be appropriate. Nothing like a bit of cleaning up!”

I fell to my knees. All of that work... gone...

“Hey, brother, it’s okay! I saved the second best manual for you! You were collecting manuals for girls, right? So you must think you are one, or something?” she tossed a white manual with a silvery blue flower on the cover to the floor in front of me. “Papa told me it was the second best for girls in our family, so you’re in luck! Anyway, thanks again!”

And with that, she gave a malicious little wave and left, her friends... or, should I say lackeys, following close behind.

Gosh. Hecking. Dang it.

All of that work destroyed in an instant, just because my stupid sister was too selfish to see the big picture! Agh! 

I’d put in so much time and effort to find the best manual and I’d ended up with some random manual that probably wouldn’t work for me at all. I had little to no ability to cultivate in general, because my aptitude for it was nearly as bad as it could possibly be. 

Ahead of me I could see nothing except years and years more in a body that made me uncomfortable. Maybe I’d get lucky, but probably not.

I doubted I was even long for this world, not with someone like my sister having it out for me, not being as powerless as I was.

You know what? 

No.

That wasn’t true.

There were always more chances. It was not over. 

And even more, she was not hurting me anymore. What was done was done, but I had one more day. I could fix this.

And I would start by looking at this manual she gave me. The Yin Cultivation Method.

I didn’t have particularly high hopes, based on what she was saying, but, well, you never knew. I still had the power of optimism, for now. It hadn’t been entirely beaten out of me quite yet.

“The Yin Cultivation Method is a basic cultivation method that works by fusing yin energies into your aperture. This method can increase a female vi master’s beauty, strengthen their body, and is highly compatible with many different vi plants and moves and other cultivation styles. The Yin Cultivation Method is cultivating the essence of femininity, literally.”

I took another deep breath.

This might actually work.