The room was not quite dingy, but the cracks near where the wall met the ceiling gave off a feeling of disrepair. The bed felt like the bed I had slept on while I was on vacation with my family in an old log cabin. In short, it felt like a wooden plank. The most uncomfortable thing though, was the vague feeling that my body was off. When I put my hair down to sleep, there was enough of it that it should’ve almost been enough of a pillow to make the wooden plank I was lying on bearable, but the feeling I was getting was like if I had chopped it all off. My balance was out of wack too. I started to pull the blanket off, but my arms felt too long, offset to the side, and I could’ve sworn I had shaved underneath just last Friday.

Overcoming these slight discomforts, I swung my legs off the bed to get up, but I froze when I saw them. They weren’t disfigured or anything, no. Rather, I might’ve thought they were quite something to look at if they weren’t so obviously attached to the rest of me. The corded muscle that hid beneath the toned skin was that of nothing less than an absolute specimen. They were also undoubtedly a man’s legs.

***

It wasn’t until I had gone through the entire damn dresser that I finally accepted that, just maybe, I hadn’t survived the surgery. Certainly, I didn’t really expect to walk off a brain tumor that had grown unchecked for nearly six years before it had been noticed, but neither was it easy to conclude that I had died. I mean, when they put you under for an operation to remove more brain matter than a lobotomy there’s no real chance that I would feel so healthy right now. There’s some nonzero chance that this was a lucid dream, but the doctors had been pretty clear that the drugs I was going to be out on would turn off my brain like an EMP, not some nice sleep stuff.

Either way though, lucid dream or my new reality, there was no way I wasn’t living it out if I didn’t have to sit on a fucking hospital bed for months on end. See, I keep coming back to the lucid dreaming thing because of the dresser’s contents. Who the hell wears tunics made of what can only be sandpaper? Even in the most war-torn backwater you would at least have one shirt made out of cotton and sporting the logo of some international corporation. It was like I had been transported to Europe back when swords were the go-to weapon for militaries instead of cosplayers.

It’s not like I was going to go about naked though, so I finally gave in and picked out some of the least itchy pieces. I’d like to say that I paid attention in sex ed. back in school, but I had been pretty embarrassed back then, and then I spent the last year of my life learning the ins and outs of hospital procedure instead of the opposite sex. As such, it was a bit of a learning process as I put on the unfamiliar clothes. When I was finally done though, as if they had been waiting for their cue, a rap came at the door.

What with the spartan living quarters and the apparent jump back into history, I was faced with a new challenge. How does one blend in enough that their family doesn’t get suspicious and avoid being burned at the stake for being possessed? I had no idea if I was supposed to be some arrogant thug, a bumbling buffoon, or a scholar who really liked to work out. Okay, so maybe I had some idea. From the door came another rap, a little more insistent and a little more annoyed.

“Young master, I understand that you aren’t in a good mood, but the Lord Baron will be expecting you.”

And now I’m a young master? Then why does my room have cracks in the walls? Questions continued to bubble up, but I shoved them down to be considered later. I went over to the door and opened it to find that the voice had come from a man who appeared to be in his late fifties by modern standards, so probably mid forties when taking into account the lower life expectancies and general health of people living in medieval Europe. His hair had late stages of gray streaking on its original black. Other than the way he favored his right leg, he seemed rather fit and he carried what looked like a sword.

“I’ll see my father now.”

***

The dining room looked exactly as I had imagined it would. A long rectangular table with a sparse few chairs and even fewer places set. Well, it was one place set clearly for me and a man who looked thirty sitting in a grandly backed chair at the head of the table. Excluding the butler who had brought me, it was just the two of us,
so there was no doubt that he was my father.

“Sit down Darren. We have something to discuss.”

Though he looked youthful, the guttural fear that ran up my spine and down to the tips of my fingers that I felt when I heard his voice was unmistakably produced in part by how used this man was to giving orders. The other part seemed to be some remnant of whoever the previous resident of this body had been. While I hadn’t noticed any memories or such, this much must have been imprinted so deeply that even whatever supernatural event that erased Darren and replaced him with me hadn’t fully wiped it away. I sat down almost on instinct, holding my posture ramrod straight and keeping my fists on my legs, making no attempt to pick up the utensils laid out in front of me.

“What is it Father?”
“You will be soon enrolling in the royal academy. I think it’s necessary I make sure that you understand what that means. You will be a reflection of this house. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Father. I will not bring shame on our esteemed house.”

It was turning out to be a great help that I had spent so much of my time lying in the hospital bed playing otome games. I had been looking for something to make my heart beat, a little vicarious love that I could never have myself. In the end though, the reason I kept playing them was because once in a while the settings would be so finely done, so well-researched, so integrated into the plot and the gameplay that I got hooked. I methodically played through every route that a game would have just to see every glimpse of those unique worlds.

“Good. See that you do not. The Masler name will once again rise to prominence."

***

My name is Darren Masler? Is this some kind of elaborate joke my mind is playing on itself? It must be a lucid dream. There’s no other way. After my father left to deal with his work administrating the territory and I got to eat a satisfactory breakfast, I immediately went to confirm my suspicions. The layout of the estate was relatively easy to figure out given that there were entire sections cordoned off—probably for safety with how if you looked for them, you could find the signs of disrepair and decay all over. I found the study and had no trouble locating the family registry and a book listing the current great noble houses. They all matched exactly what I remembered. This was the world of an otome game I had played called, “Hearts of Glass and Steel.”

I, as Darren Masler, was one of the capturable love interests. Perhaps more importantly though, the nature of HoGaS was that of a dangerous world in which the heroine must navigate both the complex emotions of the love interests and the a web of political intrigue which was set to start a civil war at the slightest misstep. The writers had included almost ten different bad endings, most ending in the deaths of the heroine and everyone she had allied herself with, for every neutral ending. The good endings then, required painstakingly mapping out routes with every hour of every day over an entire simulated month accounted for. On top of all that, to make sure players knew that the developers wanted it to be a hellish challenge, each copy of the game had a unique activation key which also served as a seed to randomly add events to the game and therefore invalidate walkthroughs.

I was not like the strategy gamers who played the game by optimizing the ways they earned points for affection and intrigue. Instead, I had an effectively limitless amount of time to check new routes and gather background information to inform my choices. Darren’s route was one of the most difficult to crack with this approach because so much of the necessary information was hidden. Without having a wealth of points to fall back on, the correct choices were even more particular than other routes and the effects of some choices didn’t manifest until much later.

Darren Masler was the heir to a criminal organization in the middle of a heated counter-intelligence battle against the royal inquisition. Forced by his father into this role and with his mother having died shortly after childbirth, Darren’s route revolved around the guilt that he felt for all of the misdeeds he committed. Worse, the player had to both drag him out of the underworld kicking and screaming while at the same time holding off the inquisition. Even the other routes had no mercy for Darren. One way or another, it always seemed that his misdeeds were in the way of the heroine’s other romances and he needed to be dealt with.

I sat back into the chair I had appropriated and sighed. I was in too deep to just live a peaceful life from here on out. Someone holding a grudge would come for me in the night and slit my throat within the week if the game’s love for bad endings were anything to judge by. Luckily, I remembered enough from the game that blending in wouldn’t be too hard. My new father, Baron Masler, barely paid any attention to Darren in the game and all of the staff was clearly terrified of me, so the chance they would notice something small was low. The first order of business then, was to study up on the family business.

***

It had been barely enough time even staying up through the night and using a veritable mountain of candles, but as I sat in the carriage that was taking me to my first day at the Royal Academy, I reviewed the extent of the Masler’s reach. The bread and butter of the organization had been illicit weapons dealing, but they also dealt in other forms of smuggling as well as the drug trade. The vice of choice in the capital was a compound called kiff made from some sort of opioid that was crushed into a powder to be sold and then dissolved into hot water, usually tea, to be ingested. It induced a numbing euphoria which lasted for a couple hours and otherwise wasn’t very easily detectable. However, it was extremely addictive and if too much was taken or there wasn’t a long enough break between doses it started to cause hallucinations and eventually blindness.

It was natural then that I was now holding a small pouch of the stuff as I pondered. I had a reputation to maintain after all. Why should I care what my reputation is you ask? The underworld is perpetually in danger of being shut down by the inquisition, so while backstabbing and lies are the norm, there is also the unwritten rule that anyone who might talk needs to be silenced. Even the worst of enemies are willing to band together if it means catching a rat. Hence, reputation is something that can’t be overlooked.

The carriage coming to a stop brought me back to the moment. The door to my right opened and I stepped out into the bright sunlight. I had taken remarkably quickly to my new, bigger and stronger body and it was no longer a struggle to avoid tipping over while I walked. Even still, there were some parts which were difficult to get used to, but at least they reminded me to walk more like a man. Around me, I saw various other carriages pulling up and their passengers alighting in a wide variety of fashions. The girls wore a variety of dresses and hats in colors that made me doubt my very eyes. The guys were by and large less gaudily dressed, but with outfits ranging from what looked like the underclothes for a suit of armor to tights that showed off far too much of their often flabby legs and what could only be described as jester costumes.

I followed the crowd through the ornate gates manned by guards carrying serious looking pikes and into a courtyard where a stage had been set up. Groups of students who seemed to know each other were starting to form, but I stood to the back where I wouldn’t draw too much attention from being alone. The same strategy was being employed by a couple others whose clothes seemed to indicate that they weren’t nearly as well off as some of those flaunting themselves like peacocks. Luckily, none of then seemed to be interested in striking up a conversation as they were busy staring in awe at the writhing mass of color near the stage.

“Attention if you would, my dear young lords and ladies. This academy’s headmaster has some words to say to this year’s student body before you are assigned to classes.”

An older white-bearded man stepped forward on the stage to replace the announcer and a hush fell over the crowd. The headmaster was well known for his vindictiveness beneath that serene exterior and this scene had become famous within the community of HoGaS. Countless players had taken up on the game’s offer to continue conversations and later found that every good ending was impossible thanks to the headmaster’s interference.

“First of all, I want to thank you all for gracing this Royal Academy with your personages. Whether you have received a recommendation despite lowly birth or are our kingdom’s very own Crown Prince Phillip, you are undoubtedly worthy of your spot. With that in mind, I feel I must remind you all that while you are students here, regardless of your status, the word of our faculty is final and not to be questioned. That is all.”

The speech was exactly the same as it had been in the game and hearing it in person made it no more interesting, so I was barely holding myself back from yawning. The announcer came back up and started giving instructions for how we were to find out our class assignments. While I already knew which class I would end up in, I figured there was no benefit to skipping normal procedure given that it might make me stand out if I didn’t.

Lines had been formed leading up to a table with two teachers who were poring over a list to find each student’s name. When I reached the table I gave them my name without waiting for instruction.

“My name is Darren Masler of the Masler house.”
“Ah, yes. I think I remember seeing your name somewhere around here... Dean Messel, right?”
“No you idiot! He said Drun Mills! Do you not have ears? It’s somewhere around here, I’m sure.”

Watching this idiotic duo in person, it was something else. They had done the same thing to the heroine in the game too. They had somehow ended up turning Elizabeth Solace into Eritrean Soldier, so rather than let them make up something even more ridiculous, I scanned the paper for my name and pointed to it, repeating my name to them.

“Darren Masler. It says right here that I will be in class 1, correct?”

The duo looked shocked that I had done their job for them, and then they both burst out laughing.

“Of course. Go on then, we wouldn’t want to make you late.”

The line which had barely made it through the first quarter of students begged to differ, but I thanked them politely and headed towards my classroom anyway.

***

“Alright then. My name is Valerie Edwina and I will be your homeroom teacher as well as your history teacher. Before we begin with going through the administrative necessities, are there any questions pertaining to the headmaster’s commencement speech?”

Her gaze swept over her new students as they held their silence. The classroom was arranged with an aisle through the center leading to a blackboard with tables to the sides, each seating four students all facing the blackboard. The presence of one boy with longish blonde hair who sat alone at one of these tables was conspicuous. He was the kingdom’s crown prince, Phillip Argon.

Meanwhile, I was being conscious not to think about the way that these tables made me sit in such a way so as to make the dagger I had hidden up against my leg poke at me. The dagger was most assuredly only for self-defense as I knew this to be a world where any number of dangerous things could happen. Sat beside me was a pretty looking girl who had tied her chestnut brown hair up into a bun and was wearing a sky blue dress. Apparently her name was Mary, but since she hadn’t appeared in the game, she seemed a bit suspicious to me.

Finally satisfied that there were no questions to be had, Edwina began rattling off the basic rules of the school and what our coming days would look like. For those coming from far away, they would be staying in dorms and therefore need to follow certain other rules. I ended up ignoring this explanation which I had learned by hearted while I was playing the game. Instead, I catalogued my classmates in my mind to make sure that nothing had changed from the game. It would put me at a huge disadvantage if things started to veer off course too early.

***

They tell us to explore the campus, but that just means I have no idea where Darren is supposed to be right now. How am I supposed to keep things on track when Darren is barely mentioned until almost a week into the game? Moreover, while it was basically fine to use the toilet at home, it felt immoral for me to now go into either the boys or the girls bathrooms. And even if it were somehow possible I could wait this time until I got back to the estate, there’s no way I could keep that up forever. No. I need to make a choice. I can either be a predator who goes into the boys bathroom where I’m liable to walk in on an underage kid, or a misunderstood girl who can’t help what her body turned into. Yes, that’s it.

I circled these thoughts again as I stood some distance away from the girl’s bathroom and waited for there to be no one inside. Luckily, with all the standing around waiting, I had discovered that there were two entrances into the building or I might’ve missed someone going in. As much as I had convinced myself of my impeccable moral standing, convincing the girls who I met inside the girl’s bathroom might be more difficult.

When the last occupant finally left, I quickly headed through the more out of the way entrance and shut myself in a stall, breathing a sigh of relief to myself. The moss that was provided as toilet paper was disappointing to say the least, but it was honestly softer than hay, so I can’t complain too much. As I was getting up to leave though, I heard the outer door open and the sound of footsteps. I froze and waited for this new person to go into one of the stalls before I made my escape.

She was either indecisive or horribly vain and just looking at herself in the small mirror that had been set up, but she certainly took her time before she entered a stall. I finally left my own stall and made for the exit, but came face to face with a hooded man with something shiny in his hand.

Was Darren actually dealing with assassination attempts starting from the very first day at the academy? Though it shames me to admit it, it was that disbelief mixed with a healthy dose of terror which rooted me to the spot. Perhaps the assassin hadn’t expected to just run into me like this either, but they had also stopped dead in their tracks. It only took a moment for the assassin to recover and jump at me with the blade, snarling like a beast.

Something like the time earlier when I had instinctually felt terror at the sound of my father’s voice, my body took over for me while I tried to process things. It skillfully slipped the dagger out from where I had hidden it and crouched to receive the attack. My assailant was lunging forward, swinging his blade down towards me in a large motion which I slid to the side of. At the same time, I brought my dagger out and used the assassin’s momentum to bury it deep in their belly. I twisted the dagger clockwise and up to finish the job and batted away the hand holding the blade as the assassin died.

Despite my grand success at surviving my first close encounter with death in my new life, the feelings I held while cold steel was held to the side of my neck were not particularly positive.

“What are you doing here?” asked Mary.

It was at this point that I finally remembered the reason why the pretty girl in the sky blue dress holding a knife to my neck wasn’t in the game. Daughter of Wellsworth House, Marilynne Wellsworth was assassinated on the very first day in the game, triggering the rest of the game’s plot. There goes my cheat.

MrAntonym

Like I noted in the series description, this is my first time writing something like this, so I'm looking for feedback! Also, if you spot typos, bad grammar, etc. feel free to point them out and I'll make edits. I'm sort of iffy on how long chapters should be, so if there are preferences, I'd like to hear those too. Anyway, thanks for reading!