Can’t Break my Feelings
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“K-Kouji?” She was in shock at seeing his face. So much so that the girl momentarily forgot about her decision to refer to him only by family name. Immediately, it was caught and Himawari corrected herself. “I mean, I didn’t expect to see you here, Kuzuhana.” Quickly, she regained composure and treated him as was usual during this past week.

“R-right…” He responded, not wanting to meet her gaze. “What a coincidence.” For a moment, he considered just saying good bye to her and returning back to the others. She didn’t sound like she wanted to spend much more time with him, especially out in pubic. “…” But he couldn’t say it. The boy couldn’t form the words to bid farewell to this girl.

“I was with someone.” She finally spoke up after a long moment of silence between the pair. “So it would be rude to keep them waiting.” Himawari turned around, and that was when he made his move. He grabbed her by the wrist, giving the girl a real fright. “Wh-what are you… Hey!” Kouji pulled her along with him to the back of the public restrooms.

“I want… I need to talk to you.” He declared after letting go of the girl. Not that he lost all control of her positioning, as he placed a hand on the wall by her head. It was a good thing that this wasn’t one of those new see through bathrooms, so they weren’t seen by anyone.

“The nerve.” She was understandably upset by his actions. “You’re a real creep, you know that?” In this position, she could hardly avert her gaze from meeting with his eyes.

“Sorry.” He took one step back from her. “I don’t know what came over me... But I really wanted to speak with you.”

“You have me now.” She made no attempt to leave despite his gesture allowing it. Instead, Himawari crossed her arms and leaned back into the wall, willing to hear him out. “You’re the one who brought me here, so you better have something worth listening to.”

“…” His hastiness lead to the boy not having anything to say at first. What was there he could tell her that wouldn’t mess things up even more. “I’m sorry.”

“You need to say something more than that.” An apology wasn’t enough for her, not that it should. “What you did... I was so hurt to hear you tell us that you wanted Yuma to join…” Her voice was breaking from recounting the events that led them to this moment. “I know you say it all the time, but did you ever consider my own feelings?”

“I don’t want to hurt anyone.” He answered, sounding like a broken record. “But, trying to ended up hurting you.” It was obvious how she must’ve felt about it. How she felt about everyone continuing to confess over the past few months, and how he wouldn’t reject them. “I didn’t consider how you must’ve felt with everyone coming in.”

“It’s not fair!” She stamped down her feet in frustration. “I was the first… I was so scared when I confessed to you. Even more scared then when we thought you were going to leave us.” It was a tough revelation for her to handle that Summer break. The girl never considered that she could possibly fall for him, until he was almost out of her life. That argument they had at the beach, it showed her something more. “Teru, Waa, even Yuma. They should’ve known how I felt, even though I hid my feelings. They had to have known, and they still did it anyway.”

“Himawari...” He tried to reach out a hand to her. A near futile attempt to console her.

“And the worst part? I can’t even get mad at any of you.” She continued on, not ignoring his gesture as her hand met his. “I don’t anyone to be sad… I want us all to find our happiness. But it’ll never happen if we all feel this way about you.” Himawari went in to hug Kouji, not caring any longer about how this might seem.

“Please, don’t cry.” He was at a lost on what actions to do next, what words to say next. Her grip onto him was tight. Her feelings showcased in its strength.

“I thought when I stormed out that day. When I got so mad at you… I hoped that maybe I could hate you again.” But that was far from the truth. Her feelings of love towards him still remained, just as strong, and she hated herself for it.

They still had to see each other during study. The pair still needed to interact just to survive in school. It was painful, to have her heart get tight when he was near. To feel that tenseness when he spoke to her and she needed to respond. All the while, he was feeling the exact same thing. “Idiot, idiot, idiot.” Her insults were not directed toward Kouji for once. Instead, the girl was lamenting her own inabilities.

“What should I do?” He asked out loud to no one in particular. “I never should’ve taken Waa’s advice.”

“I don’t know if never should be the word you’re looking for.” Speak of the devil… Wait.

“Ahh!” The pair of them were scared apart from the other. They were no longer alone. Instead Waa, with Teru and Yuma, had made their presence known. Himawari quickly analyzed the situation and decided her best move was to turn away from everyone else. Her face, and more importantly her tears, hidden by her hands.

“Someone’s waiting for me.” She came up with an excuse to leave, and began to walk away. “I shouldn’t keep them waiting.”

“Wait.” Teru stopped her. “We already know about Hasua, so don’t worry about that.” There went her hopes of getting away from this awkward situation.

“How much… Did you hear of that.” Kouji asked, concerned that they didn’t give him any privacy despite telling him that he needed to do this.

“The part where she said she was the first one.” Waa answered. Though most of them had their suspicions at that point anyway. “Look, it wasn’t easy to come up with something to occupy Anastasia, so I suggest we get this taken care of right now.”

“It’s not as easy as you make it sound.” Himawari finally wiped away her tears. Now she was able to face them once more with some composure. “You honestly can’t expect us to kiss and makeup in a couple of minutes. Not after what’s happened.”

“So… Were you dishonest… About your feelings?” Yuma called her out, slowly, on the prior statements. “I think that… You still love him.” Hearing it from her at that pace of her made Himawari feel a lot more anxious.

“And we all know how much he loves you.” Teru followed up. “Kouji’s been ridiculously depressed about this.” That adjective wasn’t how he’d describe it. Something about that word made it seem like he was freaking out over something small.

“You girls really are defending me?”

“This is still all completely your fault.” She rained on his parade. “You’re really indecisive, you know that?”

“She’s right.” Waa joined in. “Even if it was my idea, you’re the one who can’t make up your mind.”

“What am I supposed to do?” He asked. It was a little silly how much help he needed from them. Though he was fortunate that they were more than willing to aid him during this time. “This is an impossible choice.”

“There is an idea, since you don’t want to hurt any of our feelings.” Waa didn’t want to make the suggestion the first time around since she was certain that none of them would be for it. However, it was worth putting out on the table. “How about… You just date all of us?”

“I don’t get it. Isn’t that I’m already doing?”

“I mean, you don’t worry about picking one of us eventually.” She clarified. “I’m suggesting you have a real harem. Where all of us will have to accept that we’re not the only one in the relationship.” He couldn’t fathom a life like that. It sounded like something from fiction to him. How could he make something like that work?

“I doubt any of you want something like that.” He tried to counter her.

“If I didn’t want it, then I wouldn’t be making the suggestion.” Waa replied.

“I want you… All of us to be happy.” Yuma made her stance somewhat clear.

“What about you two?” He couldn’t believe what he was hearing from them. Surely Teru and Himawari wouldn’t want this. Those two would be too stubborn to try this, right?

“I’ve seen you this last week.” Teru told him that he clearly had his own feelings in the matter. “You obviously lo-lov… Like all of us, or else you would’ve already made your choice.” She could see how upset he was about losing Himawari. It made her really jealous that he might not end up choosing the tomboy, except he very clearly didn’t want to make his final decision. Not even after this heartfelt conversation with his ex. “I can live with making you happy… But this is only because I want to be with you too.” Her tsundere ways still continued even after stating she would be fine with being a part of a harem.

“...Himawari?” He was confident that she wouldn’t want any part of this. The reason they were here in the first place was because of how angry she got about being against the other girls.

“I might consider it.” She had reaffirmed her own feelings this past week. “But only if you-”

“I promise.” He cut her off, knowing exactly what she was going to say.

“Eh? But I haven’t even-”

“I promise that I’ll love all of you.” He did it again, clasping his hands over hers. “That no matter what, I won’t forget about any of you. That you’ll get everything you deserve and more.”

“Geez, you really are over-the-top.” She sighed in relief. “Then, I’ll give this a shot.” That was great news for all of them to hear, Especially for Kouji.

“You know, I never expected a real harem to form behind a public restroom in a park.” Waa quipped about the location they were in.

“Heh.” He chuckled. “After everything I’ve been through with all of you. I kind of expected this out of my harem.”

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