Chapter 50 

7 months, 1 week, 5 days pregnant. 

Livia cuts eye contact with Beth with a dark expression as her hand's clench at her sides. Without thinking about it, she steps out of her bedroom doorway, leaving it open for the older woman to escape through just like Liliana had only moments before. 

Beth just resumes cleaning up the half-eaten dinner silently. 

Livia, not wishing to stand like a loner tree in her own bedroom and endure the tension a second longer, decides now was probably the time to explain things further. To at least make sure Beth had the whole picture before she up and left as well. 

“I...I didn’t get to finish my story. If you aren’t opposed to it, I would like to answer the questions you brought up earlier. You said you had been confused,” she says as she stares at her round belly.

Livia had long since lost sight of her own feet. She wasn’t sure if it was because of her slim body, but her pregnancy stood out rather prominently. It looked like she was nine months pregnant when instead, she was only seven. 

Her son was a very healthy boy. 

The light clang of heavy dishware is the only sound Livia gets in response to her offer. 

Just as she turns her body in the direction of her balcony with tension-filled shoulders, intending to escape outside until Beth was gone, the older woman's voice rings through the air. 

“I think I would like that,” Beth says cautiously. She does not direct one of her calming smiles at Livia like she usually does. Her lightly painted lips were pressed into a straight line as she puts effort into keeping her expression neutral. 

“Would you like some after-dinner tea, Lady Livia?” She asks once she got all the plates back on the cart and covered once more. 

Livia sits heavily upon the couch that rests at the center of her room. It wasn’t all that comfortable and was a dark, ugly pink to match the coloring in her room. She had been so busy with other things; she hadn’t had the time to redecorate the bedroom she now spent most of her time in. It was another thing to add to her ever-growing list of things to do. 

She waves Beth off, declining her offer, “No thank you. I peed at least thirteen times today already. If this keeps up, I will need to make the restroom the place I sleep for the night.” 

Beth's flat-line mouth threatens to crumble at her words but she nods once in acceptance and takes the cart out of the room only to be startled when she immediately runs into Sen and Amaya. 

“Oh,” she says, blinking. 

Sen says nothing, remaining stoned face as he stands guards outside of Livia’s room. 

Amaya offers Beth a sheepish smile while she peeks over her shoulders. 

“Is Lady Livia settling in for the night?” She asks. 

“Not just yet,” Beth says, “We were going to talk a bit.” 

Amaya’s expression does not waver, remaining open and fairly mischievous as usual. As if this was just like any other day. 

“That is good. I think I will go and check up on Miss Liliana in the meanwhile,” she says, and does a small curtsy and hastily leaves after shooting Sen as loaded side-glance. 

Beth follows the glance, her eyes lingering. 

“Yes?” Sen asks blandly, looking straight ahead. 

Beth drops her gaze, her hands tightening around the cart handle, “...You knew.” 

Sen slowly turns his head. Not so he could face Beth, but so he could peer further down the hall. Where the royal guards stood like unblinking statues. 

Beth colors lightly. Right. Now was not the time to discuss such things. She clears her throat and pushes the cart forward to take down back to the kitchens. 

When she returns to Livia, almost thirty minutes later, her mind has changed from a raging sea of thoughts to a calm one with small waves. She pushes open the door, nodding to Sen once she passes. 

Her eyes instantly search the room when Livia does not come into her sight before they land on the open balcony doors. She clasps her hands in front of her and strides forward and through them. The night was still warm as they were still in the middle of summer, but a cool breeze and a clear sky made it one worth stepping outside for. 

“Lady Livia,” Beth calls to her. 

The young girl, woman, really, turn at the sound of her name. Her long, purple hair rustles around her pale drawn face before it settles around her shoulders. It's only a few moments before it stirs again, like a den of coiling snakes, glistening and beautiful. 

Livia scowls as she spits out the hair in her mouth, before roughly gathering it up and tying it into a messy ponytail at the base of her neck with a plain black ribbon. She tucks a lose strand behind her ear before gesturing to the chairs stationed on her balcony. Livia did not like to be on her feet long, these days. The weight of her growing son made her feet hurt and her backache something terribly. 

She is quick to take a seat and says nothing when Beth does as well, albeit at a polite distance. The older woman tucks her ankles together and rests them on the floor at the proper angle. 

Everything about Beth screamed of lessons of how a lady should sit at a young age. Livia finds herself unconsciously mirroring her posture, but instead of resting her hands on her lap, she places them over her stomach, petting at it idly as her son starts to waken underneath her fingers. 

“I admit,” Beth starts, tucking a short lock of brown hair behind her ear, “That this is all a bit overwhelming.” 

Livia snorts, “That is one way to put it.” 

Beth eyes her carefully, her mouth still flat, her face still unsure, “Lady Livia, you said that you took over the body of the ‘OG’ Livia when you reincarnated. As if, there had been another before you had taken over...” 

Livia looks away, “That wasn’t exactly correct.” 

Beth leans forward, “How so?” 

Livia drums a beat into her stomach with her fingers, her gaze turning inward. 

“I am Livia,” She states, “I was born into this body just like you had been brought into this world. But, unlike you, I had once seen the very face I wore now on another character-on another person.” 

Beth's eyebrows furrow, “In your ‘first life’?” 

Livia's eyes clear up as they land on Beths, “Yes, exactly.” 

“And that Livia...she was a person?” Beth asks tentatively. 

Livia sighs, and her eyes go dull again, “No. Not really. I mean, maybe? I wouldn’t rule it out completely.” 

“Then who was she? As you had seen her in your first life,” Beth asks, deeply intrigued despite her own weariness and fear. 

After all, Lady Livia had spoken of another word. Possibly even another universe. The concept, the very idea was so outlandish to her, it seemed impossible. She couldn’t even wrap her head around it. But the way Sen and Amaya hadn’t even seemed surprised at the words. As if they took them as truth, had given her pause. Had stopped her instinct to dismiss them as some novel tale. 

But to actually consider it to be the truth. To accept it as such. Well, Beth may now be open to the idea, but even she thought that would take a moment to digest. But first, she must get shake the bone-rattling fear that the one she had met all that time ago in prison. The one she had talked to while they had been transported and later reunited with when she had thought all hope was lost, was still the woman before her. There was a sense of dysphoria in her that would not be easily shaken. 

“She was a character in a story. In a game,” Livia states. 

Beth's confusion could probably be seen from miles away, “A..a game?” 

“Yes. Livia Katrina Valentine was the love rival. She was an obstacle or mini-boss to be beaten,” Livia explained. 

The words seem to only confuse Beth further. 

Livia sighs and rubs at her eyes, suddenly tired, “Look, it is as I had said. I reincarnated into this body. No matter what, I am now Livia. When I had spoken of the ‘OG Livia’ I was referring to a character in a game I had once played in my first life. That game was called Aster Academy: The Feuding Houses. As you probably suspected, that game revolves heavily around the academy I used to attend before I got exiled. It was a game that followed the heroine, Amelia Margaret Reeve, as she entered the academy after her mother died as the illegitimate daughter of Baron Reeve.” 

Beth blinks rapidly, falling back a bit, “Miss Amelia? And Baron Reeve? I recall hearing about them from my mother. And wasn’t she the same girl who you had been accused of poisoning!? She was the main reason you had gotten exiled in the first place, wasn’t she!?” By the end, Beth's voice raises in volume, her eyes wide and more than a little furious. 

“And this girl, you said she was the heroine!” Beth suddenly slumps over a bit, a slender hand dragging over her eyes. It all made sense, suddenly, but at the same time, she felt like it was all nonsensical. Beth may not understand what the game was all about, but she was very familiar with stories involving a heroine. 

As a child, such stories had once taken up a lot of her time as she dreamt of handsome princes and knights sweeping her off her feet as they did to the heroine in the many fairytales. As a child, Beth had once dreamt of becoming a heroine in her own life, as many young girls do. Such thought all crashed and burned around her once she had been engaged to her husband only a few days after her debutante. 

“So, all of this,” Beth makes a small circle with her hand, “All of this, had only been a game in your first life?” 

Livia sighs again, “Yeah, essentially.” 

Beth lets out a disbelieving laugh. Suddenly her eyes spark, “Oh, this is a lot like Alex in the Waterland.” 

Livia's mouth twitches, “That is a pretty good example, actually,” She had read that book as a child with Liliana, she just remembered, “Alex was dragged down into a whirlpool and was transported to another world. One made solely out of oceans.” 

With a reference Beth understood from cover to cover, suddenly, all of this didn’t seem so strange. Beth had loved Alex in the Waterland. It had been one of her favorite books, so much so, she had taken it with her once she had joined the Zouche household at seventeen. 

Recalling how she had been forced to drop out of Aster Academy and take on the role of matriarch of that household when Zouche family lost its lord and second son in an unfortunate accident threatened to drag her to a place in her mind she wished to never return too. Beth rises away from the blackened memories, sharpening her focus on the present. 

“So, you were just reincarnated into a world you once only seen as a game,” Beth summarizes it, and as she says the words aloud, they felt solid. Like a truth, she could come to accept. 

Livia was still Livia. 

She was still the same girl Beth had found herself almost instantly fond of when they had talked on that cart, all that time ago. The one she had been so relieved to see, alive and well, only months ago. 

The tension in Beth’s shoulders falls away, and her mouth blooms into a familiar smile. 

“Well, I’m not sure if you are lucky or just the opposite, but in the end, what matters now is that you are here,” Beth says gently and scoots forward. 

When Beth opens her arms, Livia stares at them for a second too long, before she falls and lets herself rest against the solid shoulder of the older woman. 

“I’m sorry for my reaction before,” Beth starts, wrapping an arm around Livia's shoulder as she tucks the purple head of hair under her chin. Normally, she would not be so affectionate, content to remain at a professional distance, but Beth had known for a while that Livia was a person who unconsciously sought out touch. Beth was sure Livia didn’t even realize it went beyond the strange thing between her and Sen, started further back when it was just her and Miss Liliana. 

Livia's head shakes, “No, it’s fine. I should have worded it better. It was my fault. Plus, it was a lot to take in.” 

Beth only hums, “I’m sure once you properly explain it to your sister, Miss Liliana will also come to understand as well.” 

And thinking about it now, Beth realizes that revealing her true origins to them could not have been easy for Livia. The young woman was usually always inherently suspicious first and held her trust under heavy guard. After everything she had been through, Beth completely understood how she came to be that way and accepted it. Even when she knew there was a lot more to the story that Livia had been willing to tell her. 

But now, an olive branch had been offered to her, and Beth would be a fool to not see just how tentative and fragile it was. She had hoped to one day be a person Livia could confide in and trust, to not simply be another person who only stood by her side because certain circumstances permitted it. 

Sen cared for Livia and was certainly protective of her (though he would never admit it openly. Livia and him were much alike in that sense.) but Beth always was aware of the strain in the air between the two. In an almost forceful way, they are close and casual, as if they pretend long enough, maybe their physical closeness would transmit to their mental closeness. 

And Amaya, well, Beth did not know much about the young woman. She seems to have appeared out of thin air as if she always was there from the beginning. Amaya was a nice enough woman. She was a bit coarse at times, but she seems to have been properly trained to be a maid. Beth was fully aware that was not the sole reason Amaya was currently standing at Livia’s side, but she did not voice her own questions. 

Miss Liliana, well, she was probably the only person besides Beth who was by Lady Livia’s side willingly and with no other motives than the fact that she liked being around her older sister. Even as an outsider, Beth could tell that these sisters had once been joined at the hip when they were young and adored each other. 

And after all this time, Livia had come to the decision to reveal her true self to them. It was a show of faith. Beth only wishes that she had masked her initial reaction. If only to part from the images of Lady Livia’s normally cool and unruffled disposition slowly fray at the edges. Especially when Miss Liliana had left. 

“Miss Liliana will come around,” Beth tries to assure the woman next to her, “Just give it a bit of time.” 

Livia looks out onto the Valentine Estate and shivers despite the warm night and Beth’s own body pressed close to her. She tucks her head further down, curling up as much as she could, and shrugs. 

“Maybe...”