September 17
Imperial Terra Luna Observatory, the far side of the Moon
“Where are you hiding the Guides, Imperial Emissary Lucius Nova?” The black-cloaked figure asked the bloodied body suspended in mid-air by ethereal grey tentacles of cosmic essence.
“Everyone knows that only Prime Guide Nur remains and they are in seclusion on Novarea, Foreverer,” Lucius struggled to respond with dripping blood further dying his black shirt red.
“I meant the newborn Guides that are well hidden on Terra,” said the Foreverer, applying further crushing pressure on Lucius who groaned in agony. “Where are they?”
“He doesn’t know,” said Gaia, who suddenly materialised in between Lucius and the Foreverer, instantly dissipating the supernatural binding on Lucius. “But I do”.
Gaia’s motherly aura radiantly clashed with the suppressive aura of the Foreverer, fiercely dispelling the chilliness. She stood in front of the corpse-like Lucius like an unsheathed blade. Her beauty shone through the pure cosmic essence crackling all around her.
“Gaia, the legendary Techno-Lifeform warden of Terra,” said the Foreverer. “You are late.”
“I don’t know how you bypassed all of my defenses and sensors so silently,” said Gaia, attempting to peer into the cloaked figure but failing to identify. “So your attack caught me off guard and it took me a while to gather enough Qi for this form.”
“Gaia...” Lucius struggled to say.
Gaia sighed, “New Guides have been born into this realm.” With a hint of relief continued, “The 7th at this very moment.”
Gaia turned to the slumped Lucius, “I am so sorry to have hidden this from you, Lucius, but that was my purpose.”
“So Doctor Terran knew nothing after all,” said the Foreverer also examining Lucius.
Gaia scanned her home that was now in disarray. Even Lucius’s collection of Terran artifacts lay in shambles. The once pristine walls were now stained in blood. Lucius’s glowing red blood. He had fought valiantly.
“It didn’t have to come to this but you forced my hand,” The Foreverer said as if reading Gaia’s thoughts. “The Guides are too well shielded by the Guide’s Will and it grows ever stronger.”
“Foreverer, this ends now. You are in violation of several Guardian and Imperial directives,” said Gaia through gritted teeth. “Surrender now and mercy will be granted.”
“Join me instead!” said the Foreverer. “You are the oldest living Techno-Lifeform. Yet here you are, secluded in the Great Void watching over the disgraced exiled race.”
“I am a soulless being but at least I have a purpose,” said Gaia, staring intently. “Freely serving my purpose fulfills my existence.”
“What gives the Guides the divine right to deny you or anyone else eternal life?” asked the Foreverer.
“Your sweet words fall deafly,” said Gaia, a smile playing on her lips. “I have served my purpose and can die having lived fully.”
“I could just destroy this entire star system if you don’t cooperate,” said the Foreverer.
“We both know the Guide Space-Time Lock prevents any such grand actions,” said Gaia. “And the Guardian Knight will stop any such attempts.”
“Yes but… why are you stalling?” asked the Foreverer. “My forces control everything in a 100 km radius. Communications are disabled, space is locked, and the Guardian Knight is preoccupied with the birth of the 7th. No one is coming to rescue you.”
“Who said anything about rescue?” asked Gaia.
The room-filling bright light that had been radiating off Gaia suddenly contracted into a protective shell around Lucius. The fabric of reality was ripped apart, swallowing the panic-stricken, barely conscious yet defiant looking Lucius.
“Was that love?” asked the Foreverer, calmly staring at the receding portal. “He was useless to me so you have just wasted your only move after gathering so much Qi.”
“You do not understand,” said Gaia, her aura much fainter yet her eyes just as determined.
“But I do. You have grown weak. You are merely an artificial intelligence after all.” said the Foreverer. “That stunt of yours will cost you.”
The Foreverer sent several tendrils of cosmic energy attempting to bind Gaia, “But first you will tell me how to find the Guides.”
An alarm blared through the windowless room. AUTODESTRUCT INITIATED! 1 MIN TO EVACUATE!
“You're right, I’m currently too weak to contend with you,” said Gaia coldly. “But, like the Terrans say, I still have a trick or two up my sleeves.”
“Pity but this is merely a flash clone,” said the Foreverer. “What a wasteful exercise this excursion was.”
“Oh, I knew from the beginning that you were probably relaxing on your ship. I lied when I said it took me a while to gather Qi.” Gaia said. “I just had to time everything else right”.
AEGIS SYSTEM ACTIVATED!
“Did you think that after all these thousands of Anns, I wouldn’t have measures to compensate for a severe lack of cosmic essence?” Gaia asked.
LAUNCHING ALL ANTIMATTER WARHEADS AT DESIGNATED TARGET!
“What?!" shouted the Foreverer, visibly shocked for the first time. "The Aegis system should be decommissioned!”
“So you knew about that too? Yes, the planetary defense platforms are down due to the persistent nuclear radiation from the Terrans. But, Luna’s was merely turned off and swapped for light defense which you so easily destroyed.” Gaia laughed, with tears streaming down her eyes. “You intruded upon our home, did you think you could simply walk away?”
BANG! The still space erupted in an implosion, swallowing the tragic smiling Gaia and the wailing Foreverer. This room that had stood watch over all of human history disappeared in an unholy blink. Outside, missiles tore apart the city-sized craft besieging the observatory.
Meanwhile on Earth,
“I’m sorry my love but you must live. This is my seed, when the time is right I will bloom again. Well, another me. You understand... I have sent you as close as I can to Guardian Knight Ade. I know he will find you as soon as he can. Only you can tell what has happened. I wish I could celebrate the rebirth of the Guides with you. Oh, there is so much I wish to share with you. But most of all, I love you. Now and forever. Goodbye, my sweet. May the Guides watch over you.” The telepathic message played over and over again in Lucius’s mind but he was already unconscious. Maybe it was the trauma from the attack or the heartbreak of losing a loved one.
Yet held tightly in his left hand was the tiny seed repeating the telepathic message like clockwork. While his body slowly cocooned into a big grey humanoid figure...
Quite too many characters to keep track of but there isn't much reason to care about them. If they become important later on, I will probably have forgotten about all of them by then.
True BUT have no fear, I'll remind readers of important characters as they reappear. I've a rooster of like 50+ characters, around a dozen are main and you'll start to find the patterns the more read :D
PS - Are you from reddit?
@tonyswag0 Yeah, I've decided to give it a try after reading the post from reddit. Honestly EN webnovels are still not really my thing.
@Icemelon Thank you for giving it a try! EN webnovels are certainly niche in this space.
As for my book, I'm trying to "marry" western and eastern story elements so consider this an experiment so please feel free to share your thoughts as you read along.
Hmm.
Not gonna lie, the way the vocabulary was used kinda makes them have a "holier than thou" vibe. It feels like reading a bible. Maybe it's because I just like my reads to be casual and down to Earth.
Thanks for reading and even dropping a review :D The candor was appreciated as this is my first ever novel and it has been many years in the works.
The biblical vibe of the first 2 chapters were intentional. They are extra plot that will color into the main storyline over time. They show there's a bigger universe at play that isn't visible "yet". There's high scifi and "magic".
Replying to your review, I do "remind" readers about significant plot points so that they don't need to go back to re-read entire chapters. One such vehicle I use are "meetings" within the story, which serve as good summaries regarding important plot points that will be relevant pretty soon.
As for the confusion you noted, there is a difference between the writer and reader confusion. From my POV, I've been writing this story on & off for 8 years. I've rewritten the beginning more than once and I'm currently "marrying" two different plot timelines into one. I've aged up/down characters. Moved the timeline around. Changed character genders. Split/combined character roles. The story-verse itself has expanded multiple times. When I say I get confused, it's because I have to keep track of the story through its different branches and I even re-read the current version to keep me on track.
I imagine as a reader, it can get tricky jumping between scenes but I use date, times, and locations to help. I also limit narration to vital happenings in the moment. Sometimes I will use a character's inner voice to color a scene differently. The story is written in present tense, which is different from most stories that are in past tense. But with all that said, I firmly believe in the intelligence of my readers. I trust my readers to "read on" until their confusion is cleared [which I tend to do within a few chapters]. I even utilize a certain "journalist" character to quiz the happenings of the world outside the main cast. (let this comment serve as a confirmation to the assertion that the writer thinks his own work is confusing).
Infodumps are certainly something to work on, I try to limit it to certain characters - usually the "doctor" in any scene while also simplifying any explanation given. If it is important, it will be repeated. The plot can feel convoluted because I balance "plot" with character reactions. I also get surprised at what I expect to happen and what the story lets happen. You might have run into the migrant characters, which I do my very best to humanize. I tell their situation, what they are struggling with, and the strength they express. Far ahead is the story of Alena, a "janitor" whose bravery and ultimate sacrifice will ring for many chapters. I hadn't planned for her to be so important but her "random" selfless act sets many events in motion. Such moments, where "one-off" characters become extra-ordinary through ordinary acts, will continue to occur. These characters aren't just foils to the larger plot, they possess their own lives and determinations. I think such tales are worth telling because I honestly find them magical. When I watch Marvel films, I wonder - how do the "normals" deal with the superhero hijinks.
As you read on, you will find characters speak in different ways. Certain accents and mannerisms bleed through, if you give it time. Some characters have stiff, formal speech. Others barely speak. Others are more laissez-affair. Foreign words get jumbled in sometimes. I try my best to pay respect to any cultures I borrow from.
I rambled there, lolz. Again, thanks for the honesty in your review - it was forthcoming. I will consider it when doing a broader edit of this story. I can't see where you stopped when you wrote the review, how far along did you go on the story?
@tonyswag0 Hi, thanks for the reply. It has cleared up a lot of questions that I had in the back of my mind. I will reread series this at another time, but for now, I'm taking a break from this one.
Regarding the review, I hope it wasn't too harsh on you. I didn't want to give a forced nice review, so I stayed true to what I think. I still stand with what I wrote, and it will probably not change that much, unless the story takes a turn somewhere. Again, I will reread this series at another time.
And as for the chapter where I left off, I actually forgot to bookmark it. I'm not the kind of guy who'd read the chapter titles, as it kind of ruins the immersion and go straight to reading the chapter. I tried finding it through my Chrome's history, but since I went back and forth with the chapters too much, I couldn't find the part where I left off. I wanted to write an estimate of where I left off on the review, but that just doesn't feel right, so I left it blank.
(P.s. The estimate I was talking about was around 40ish to 50ish, maybe even past that. As I said, I don't remember what chapter I left off.)