To reach the Academy of the Osaka branch as quickly as possible, Sakuya got us another helicopter. Before we go inside, we say our temporary goodbye to Kuromi and Assaf-sensei who came to see us off.

   ‘I’m counting on you to take care of my room while I’m gone, Kuromi.’ I say to my personal maid before we depart for Osaka.

   The Goddess bows deeply. ‘I shall do that with every heart and soul of my being.’

   I look at Assaf-sensei who’s also staying back.

   ‘Sensei, please don’t use this chance to corrupt Kuromi even further.’ I plead.

   ‘How rude. I was merely teaching her as per her request of wanting to know about more methods on how to please you.’

   ‘You were probably twisting words while you were at it, so please stop.’

   ‘Very well, since it’s you who asked. Do you want me to swear an oath while facing Kuromi while I’m at it?’

   ‘No no, there’s no need for you to go that far.’ I quickly say. ‘Well, we’re off.’

   ‘Be careful out there. Whatever you do, do come back safely.’

   ‘I eagerly await your return, master and everyone else.’

   When all of us got inside the helicopter, Sakuya gives the green light to the pilot for takeoff. A few seconds later, we’re already up in the air and heading towards Osaka.

   ‘We’ve been moving around with helicopters a lot lately.’ I couldn’t help but notice.

   ‘Maybe we should get a helipad for our future mansion so that we can park a helicopter there.’ Sakuya suggests.

   ‘Sounds good.’

   ‘Wait, what’s this about a mansion?’ Saya asks.

   ‘Oh right, you weren’t there when we were talking about this.’ I recall. ‘See, we were thinking of forming a mercenary group when all of us had graduated. Naturally, we need to buy a mansion for this many people.’

   ‘Will the mansion include a court to play dodgeball?’ Saya asks passionately.

   I shrug. ‘Sure. Why not?’

   ‘All right! I just hope some of our friends will come over and visit us so that we can play a game or two occasionally.’

   ‘If you are patient enough, the mansion will eventually have enough members.’ Sakuya suddenly says.

   ‘You mean when Akira-kun gets more girlfriends?’

   ‘There’s that too. But I’m talking about something else.’

   She smiles and puts her lips next to Saya’s ear and whispers something. Saya’s face is blushing furiously when the student council president was done whispering.

   ‘Oh, right. There was that method too, huh? Right…’ Saya is twirling her fingers so quickly I can barely see them.

   I stare at Sakuya, who’s staring back while smiling mischievously. I could take a good guess at what she told Saya, but there’s no way I’m going to say it out loud.

   Ichika, however, failed to read the atmosphere.

   ‘What exactly did you tell her, president?’ she asks Sakuya curiously.

   ‘Well-’

   I quickly intervene.

   ‘Trust me, Ichika. You don’t want to know.’

   Ichika slowly looks at Sakuya, then me.

   ‘I shall choose to believe in Akira and not pursue the matter further.’ she decides.

   Sakuya puffs up her cheeks in disappointment.

   ‘Aww, you’re no fun Ichika-chan. You made your big sister sad.’

   By the time the helicopter reaches Osaka, it’s already evening. Due to the season being fall, it’s already like nighttime everywhere.

   The Academy of the Osaka branch, one of the two in the entire Japan, has an outlook that’s pretty much the same as the Tokyo branch: buildings made roughly in the shape of a rectangle, a courtyard full of trees, a helipad at the rooftop, and a dormitory right next to it.

   One of the more obvious thing that differentiates the two branches is that there’s a stage located right next to the helipad.

   ‘I wonder what the stage is for.’ Saya asks out loud the question that was inside my head.

   ‘I guess we could ask them when we meet each other.’ I tell her.

   Turns out we didn’t have to wait long for that. The moment we got out of the chopper, the stage is light up with tons of light. I’m just glad they’re not the blinding types. And now that the lights are out, I could see the stage clearly. Somehow, I’m not surprised that it’s a sight I’ve already saw in the original anime, although the scale is much smaller now that they have to cram everything inside a stage.

   The stage is decorated like they’re celebrating Halloween, even though it’s still September. There are red dots meant to be eyes, a coffin and a gravestone at one corner, a few scary looking trees with holes for eyes and jagged teeth, and some realistic-looking bats hanging from the ceiling. There’s also a huge piece of black cloth covering the floor of the stage. Five lumps are seen jutting out from the cloth.

   As we watch, the cloth suddenly flies upwards, showing us that the lumps are actually people. Or to be exact, people who wear ridiculous costumes and holding musical instruments. From left to right, there’s a bass-wielding werewolf, a fish man that’s holding a portable keyboard, a female vampire that has two maracas, a frankenstein with portable drum sets, and a skeleton that’s holding an electric guitar.

   From the corner of my eye, I notice Sakuya and Saya taking out their phone faster than blinking. They’re probably going to record the whole thing.

   On a closer look, the vampire has a tiny microphone attached to her costume. Thanks to that microphone, we can hear her voice clearly, even though we’re some distance away from each other.

   ‘Welcome, students of the Tokyo Branch!’ the vampire shouts at the top of her lungs with a Kansai dialect. ‘Allow us, the student council of the Osaka Branch to give y’all a warm welcome!’

   She then starts singing while the musical instruments are being played. Despite the decoration of the stage and their costume, she took the liberty of singing a nursery song. Suddenly, the maracas which is the odd-man-out are very fitting here. The only problem is I can barely hear them since the rest of the instruments are much louder.

   I guess you can say that her singing voice is quite good, but the problem lies in the fact that she’s not really following the rhythm of the instruments. Sometimes she’s singing too quickly, sometimes she’s being too slow.

   After two torturing minutes, she’s finally done singing. All of them are standing still as if waiting for something. I took the hint and decide to applause just to be polite. The other follows suit.

   ‘Thank ya! Thank ya! And now, an encore!’ the vampire shouts.

   ‘Um, could you not?’ I plead. ‘We’re kind of in a rush here.’

   She almost stumbles and falls to the ground.

   ‘But, we ’ave a whole list of songs that-’

   ‘Would have to be performed on another occasion. I beg of you, please prioritize our mission.’

   ‘…Fine.’ she agrees reluctantly.

   The other band member of hers, or should I say fellow student council members, sigh in relief. They proceed to put their musical instruments away. They come right over after they’re done with that.

   I know nothing about the other student council members, since they were given next to no screen time in the original anime. However, I have quite a bit of info on the student council president who dressed up as a vampire.

   Her name is Shishiaki Natsuho. She’s a second year and the student council president of her school just like Sakuya. And she’s also part of Yuuji’s harem in the original anime.

   Whereas Sakuya is calm, cautious, wise and competent in pretty much everything she does, Natsuho on the other hand is reckless, gullible, and generally gives people tons of headache. In other words, she’s like the female version of Yuuji.

   At the beginning, the two of them were like cat and dog. They just can’t seem to get along since both of them have the mental capacity of a child. During the training camp, they crossed paths with each other multiple times. In the end, they set aside they difference as bitter rivals since they had a common enemy in the form of undead armies, courtesy of Assaf-sensei who passed away as mentioned before.

   During the extermination, they fought side-by-side and worked with each other like they had been partners for years. After that, one thing led to another, and bam, Natsuho is in love with Yuuji. She even went so far as transferring herself to the Tokyo Branch after she retied from being the student council president just so that she could spend more time with him without knowing the competition that she would face.

   Anyway, I digress. Let’s return to the present.

   ‘That was a splendid performance, Natsuho-chan.’ Sakuya tells her eastern counterpart.

   The latter grits her teeth.

   ‘Morifuji Sakuya. Don’t think I’ve forgotten about the humiliation you gave me the last time we met-’

   Sakuya takes out a lollipop from her pocket.

   ‘Do you want to have this? It’s cola-flavoured.’ she offers.

   Natsuho breaks into a delighted expression. She hand was inches away from the lollipop before she remembered that who she’s taking it from.

   She shakes her head stubbornly.

   ‘Stop treating me like a child!’ she demands.

   On a side note, Natsuho is around the same height as Sakuya, and she has quite an adult look. Not that anyone could tell with her makeup right now. Without it, no one will ever mistake her as a child like they would towards Mashiro, even though she’s acting like one most of the time.

   Natsuho suddenly looks at me and points her index finger towards me.

   ‘Hey, you!’

   ‘Yes?’

   ‘You’re Kagenashi Akira, right? Would ya like to be part of Osaka branch student? I can guarantee that it’s much more fun ’round ’ere!’

   Ah yes. She made the same offer to Yuuji too when they met for the first time in the original anime. Her promise that the school life here is much more better than at the Tokyo branch is probably sincere.However, from the way I see it she was just trying to spite Sakuya, just like what she’s doing right now. Naturally, my answer is…

   ‘No, thank you.’ I decline politely.

   She seems taken aback by my refusal.

   ‘What? Why not?’

   ‘I prefer the Tokyo Branch, you see. Besides, all my friends are there.’

   Sakuya chuckles.

   ‘If Akira-kun has to start over, it would probably take half a year for him to get a single friend. He’s that much of a socially awkward person.’

   I wince at her comment. I have nothing to say to that since it’s true.

   Natsuho refuses to give up. Anything to one-up her bitter rival (self-proclaimed).

   ‘I’ll give you candies! And lots of snacks!’

   Both of Mashiro’s eyes sparkle at the offer. Thankfully, Ichika was there to hold her back.

   ‘No thank you, I can get those things just fine at Tokyo.’

   ‘Um, we have a takoyaki buffet every Tuesday!’

   ‘A what?’

   ‘It’s an all-ya-can-eat at the cafeteria. There are at least ten flavors ya can choose from!’

   This is new. I look at the other student council members for verification. All of them nod to tell me that she’s telling the truth.

   ‘Nope. Still not worth it. I don’t like takoyaki that much, for one thing.’

   Natsuho looks completely shocked.

   ‘Ya-ya don’t like takoyaki?’ she asks with a trembling voice.

   ‘Well I don’t hate it, but I don’t really like it either.’

   ‘That’s it. I’m gonna make ya eat takoyaki until ya love it! Ya gonna have takoyaki for breakfast, lunch and dinner while ya here!’

   ‘But-’

   ‘No buts! Ya got guts to say that ya don’t like takoyaki in front of an Osaka resident!’

   And suddenly, she has forgotten that she wants me to transfer to the Osaka branch.

   ‘Um, can we continue inside? It’s getting kinda cold here. Besides, all of you want to change out of those costumes as soon as possible, right?’

   ‘Not really. I could wear this all day!’

   Unfortunately for her, her fellow members does not share her enthusiasm. For starters, all of them are fidgeting on the spot, like they’re one step away from crawling into a hole and hide inside until the end of time.

   ‘Can we go inside anyway? As I said, we’re rushing for time here.’

   ‘Fine, fine. Follow me.’

   We’re brought to the student council’s office. After we’ve settled down and served tea, the Osaka student council members excused themselves so that they could get changed.

   ‘Mashiro has always heard stories about her, and she is as wild as they said she is.’ Mashiro comments on Natsuho’s weirdness.

   ‘I know, right? That’s why I want to visit her as much as possible. It’s too bad that I’m always busy with my work.’ Sakuya says while smiling.

   ‘Work that you neglect whenever you have the chance.’ Ichika says pointedly.

   ‘Oh come on, Ichika-chan! I do get work done! Most of the time.’

   ‘I cannot wait until Akira takes over your position.’

   ‘Hold on a second. It’s not like I’m dodging responsibility, but why can’t you be the next president? I mean, you’re already the vice president, right? You can just take a promotion.’

   ‘I am glad that you have such high evaluation of me. Unfortunately, I do not have the confidence to act rationally whenever a violation of rules occurs. I would lose myself and dead set on deciding a punishment without listening to the defendant’s side of the story.’

   ‘Believe her when she said that.’ Sakuya butts in. ‘She hardly listened to my excuse when I slacked off and head straight to punishment.’

   ‘It’s definitely your fault for making her angry.’ I say to her.

   ‘Is not.’

   ‘My point is, I am better as an assistant rather than a leader. You are far more suited to be the president.’

   ‘Honestly, I’m not sure about that.’

   ‘At the very least, you are more trustworthy than the current president.’

   ‘Hey!’ Sakuya protests.

   ‘Come on, Akira-kun! Do it for the clubs’ sake! After you’re the president, you can increase our funds. Starting with the dodgeball club.’ Saya suddenly chimes in.

   ‘If I ever become the student council president and there’s a need of reform of the current student council members, remind me not to choose you as the new treasurer.’

   ‘Aww, why not?’

   ‘Cause you’ll definitely abuse your position.’

   ‘Mashiro will volunteer to be the mascot. You can pay her with snacks.’

   ‘Rejected. More like, aren’t you already bothering them?’

   ‘Mashiro is not bothering them. Mashiro is providing them with comfort from hugging her. You can enjoy the same privilege once you’re the president, Akira. Oh wait, you can already enjoy it right now.’

   She walks over and sits on my lap like she owns it. She then snaps her fingers. I oblige and give her head pats.

   ‘As for me, I will make full use of my specialty and search for any fools bold enough to oppose you.’ Madoka declares. ‘If there is any, I shall-’

   ‘Assassinations are not allowed, okay?’ I interrupt her.

   She looks at me in surprise.

   ‘How did you know what I was going to say?’

   ‘Call it a boyfriend’s intuition.’

   ‘Speaking of boyfriend, how long do you girls think it would take for Natsuho-chan to fall for Akira-kun?’ Sakuya asks all of a sudden.

   ‘I beg your pardon?’

   ‘I would say after this mission ends.’

   ‘Mashiro thinks so too.’

   ‘Sounds about right.’

   ‘Yup.’

   ‘Wait wait wait, what’s this all of a sudden?’

   ‘Is it so surprising, Akira-kun? She seems to be interested in you.’

   ‘Is she? She looked more like she wanted me over here just so that she could one-up you.’

   ‘I’m not so sure about that-’

   Just as Sakuya is about to say something more, the Osaka student council members are back. They’ve already took off their costumes and changed back into their regular uniforms. They’re also holding plates of steaming hot takoyakis. I was wondering what took them so long.

   They proceed to put those plates right in front of us.

   ‘’ere ya go, folks! Authentic Osaka takoyaki, made by yours truly!’ Natsuho says proudly.

   Mashiro gets up from my lap so that I can eat my takoyaki in peace. I stare at the octopus balls in front of me.

   ‘...I may be rude for being overly cautious, but does one, some or all of these contain some ingredients that should not be there?’ I ask Natsuho.

   She responds by flinching. Sweats start to break up from her head.

   ‘I-I have no idea what ya talking ‘bout.’ she stutters.

   ‘You’re really bad at lying, Shishiaki-senpai.’ I point out.

   ‘Oh fine, so I did added something extra on your portion! I’m sorry, alright?’

   ‘So, which one is it?’

   She answers by plucking one of the octopus balls and pops it into her mouth. It took her a while to recover from tears that won’t stop flowing.

   ‘Is that all?’ I ask once she’s recovered.

   ‘Yesh…’ she says in a barely audible voice.

   I wonder what she put in there. Then again, I’m not that curious. I spear one of the balls with the skewer provided and put it inside my mouth.

   ‘Oh, this is quite good.’

   Natsuho looks at me happily.

   ‘Right? Right? Makes ya feel like ya want ta have it all the time, right?’

   ‘Not that much. Once every full moon is good enough for me.’

   ‘Oh well, it’s a start.’

   ‘More importantly, did you add something bad in any of theirs?’

   ‘Course not. I was only trying to mess with you and only you.’

   ‘I’m glad to hear it.’

   That said, I’m surprised that she didn’t do anything to Sakuya’s share, considering her deep hatred towards her.

   After all of us are done eating, it’s finally time to get serious.