It didn’t take long for streams of braids to show up in my hair. I got a couple glimpses from the window but Allison kept turning me back. The brushing itself was very nice. Like a slow, relaxing way to scratch an itch. I started to get a little drowsy just from the flowing motion of the brush but my eyes darted wide when I heard the bathroom door open at the end of the hall.

Lissa. She had to be a Kinrae too. And she was about to come around the corner and show herself. I took a deep breath. Allison kept prodding my hair. I glanced at the hallway and looked down as far as I could see. There were footsteps, slow and quiet. Maybe Lissa was trying to sneak in too? I wanted to give her an opportunity to surprise me. 

When the moment came, I missed her entering but it was impossible to miss her standing there against the plain, lightly-colored walls with the brilliant green of her hair. 

She stood there in a classy, white cardigan with a pale gray dress nearly to her feet. The colors of her clothing may have been subdued but her eyes were a sharp green that matched her hair. Her skin color was light but with more of a pink tone than mine. And she didn’t have my overwhelming mass of hair. That jade frame of her face just touched her shoulders but didn’t go further. She didn’t "best" me in the way she promised but, even with her loose-fitting clothes, it was clear we weren’t that far apart. 

Tracing a smirk on her new face, Lissa gestured with small hands to the shape of her body. Despite the drastic change, I could still see the way Lissa always held herself in the Kinrae’s posture.

I gave a little clap which unfortunately upset a new braid Allison was starting. He pouted but turned to smile at Lissa, saying, “Very nice.”

Lissa spun in place and brushed at her hair. Then she gestured down the hall and said, “Actually, this is your roommate, Malcolm. Lissa is still in the bathroom. Don’t I look poster-worthy?”

My brain froze for a moment but then I frowned just enough to earn a little bright flick of tongue from her, before she muttered, “What? I can’t have fun too?”

“I can tell it’s you, Lissa.” She raised her eyebrows with their lime punctuation and told me, “I blame only meeting Malcolm a few times. Well, I certainly can’t pretend to be Allison.” Allison lightly-apologized then returned to his work. Lissa marveled and noted, “So far as niceness, you look very pretty with all those braids. Has he…she seen them yet?”

Allison gave a stern expression and admonished, “When they’re all done.” Lissa held up her hands in apology. The spiral marks were easily visible. I looked down at mine. Even with the same sunlight and overhead lamp, mine were obviously dimmer, more watermark than sharp print. I closed my palms and asked Lissa, “You want to take a photo too?”

She smirked and produced her camera from a convenient pocket in her new clothes. The blend of a regular-toned camera in her cel-like hand was disconcerting but no more than how my own hands looked against the material of the long couch. 

Lissa brought the camera closer and showed me. She sighed, “You blinked earlier.” Indeed, I had. The same was true on Allison’s snapshot, when he took a moment to pause in his tireless work of brushing and braiding. 

My eyes in the photo were half-closed. It didn’t look bad but it made me look like a drunk Kinrae, which was Lissa’s interpretation an instant later. Also, the lines of my mouth were twisted more like a grimace than a smile. Lissa deleted it, reiterating, “Remember, nothing but smiles. We need a second try. Maybe a group shot?”

We finally managed to tear Allison away from my hair long enough to take a nice photo of the two of us standing in front of the couch. Lissa urged my smile bigger than I could ever remember smiling. Eventually, I had to tell her, “It hurts.” She sighed and settled for the best smile I could offer while hers reached heights which bordered on disturbing. Reviewing the shot, Lissa contorted her facelines and admitted, “Okay, maybe not that big.”

The third try was the one we kept. It was strange to look at a photo taken of me and see a braids-covered Kinrae girl standing there beside another with her hands folded in front of her and her best smile on her face. We looked like someone had tried to do a poor image shop of artwork on top of a photograph, if not for the obvious shading the sunlight provided.

After that, it was sitting. Lissa leaned against me. I didn’t have time to take it in before I had to smile or ruin the photo. We checked the picture as Allison snuck back over to work on my hair. Lissa murmured, “I’m gonna print that one. Do you need a copy?” Thinking of my uncle, I made sure Lissa sent both good pictures to my regular email. He knew about Lissa and had even made suggestions in his usual way about boldness. He’d probably be happy to hear what I had done, although I still wasn’t sure if I was happy.

Lissa’s mood was light, so I didn’t see any way to broach the subject again. I hid my slender hands in my lap until Lissa asked me, “So, what will you be putting for your first impressions essay?”

I’d nearly forgotten. Our first real assignment, a first impressions essay. For those who would’ve potentially declined the device, the paper would’ve been longer and more research-based with video interviews of Kinrae. First impressions of them as a culture. For us, it was first impressions in their skin, first impressions walking around, and self-reflection on how we were seen by others. I wasn’t sure where to begin.

At least the professor wasn’t looking for anything as focused or cogent as I’d done in my composition courses. Still, there was a rigorous rubric which I’d only glanced through. Rough draft due in a week with what I was sure would be an excruciating read around before a summarized presentation in class after that. Allison’s braiding kept a lot of those worries away. 

I could only answer Lissa, “Too soon. I have no idea.”

She gave an understanding nod and answered, “Same place. Although I think I might use your opening up of your suppressed feelings as part of it. Maybe 'gender typing' or something. Might do well to fill up some pages. If you don’t mind.”

I didn’t and I told her so. Then I offered her more than just a clap, saying, “You’re beautiful.”

She turned and brushed her colorful hair back, teasing, “I’m sure you say that to all the Kinrae.”

“Just one.” 

The blush showed far more prominently on her Kinrae face than her human one. She cleared her throat a little. Allison even paused in his braiding to glance between the two of us, though he didn’t ask if we wanted some private time. He was too dedicated to his task. And it was very pleasant, so I didn’t want to protest. 

I didn’t want to leave Lissa nervous, so I shifted things by asking, “How did you decide on that Kinrae?”

She settled a little, her blush receded, and she held up her control device. A quick glance at it revealed she’d already been through more than a half-dozen different forms before this one. She added, “And that doesn’t even count variations. I settled on this one because it felt the most comfortable for me. What about yours?”

I could tell she knew that this was my random first choice. It wasn’t ideal. The masses of hair I’d given Allison to tirelessly braid sure showed that. But I felt at ease with it. Sure, I could pick out so many different forms but this one felt like first love. I’d seen my eyes this way for the first time. I’d seen my love for the Kinrae made flesh for the first time. It was special to me. Of course, I couldn’t say that out loud, despite my newfound openness.

Instead, I told her, “It seems like it would be too disconcerting to shift between so many different forms. So yeah, I settled on my first and I’m okay with it. Maybe when I feel ready I might try some others.” Then, I added that I would definitely have to establish other forms for the paper and the work that followed. 

It made sense but Lissa cast a skeptical gaze at me. Allison also gave me a look between wiping his brow and finishing a long area of brushing and braiding. I gave a quick gesture towards Allison and noted how much of his work would be undone if I chose a different form. At this, Lissa narrowed her eyes.

I could tell what she was going to say, and I nodded as she said it, “You can save the state of any form.” Allison’s eyes edged open a little and he puffed a sigh of relief. It took just a few more minutes before Allison declared his work “done” and I made sure to save the changes with the device. Then and only then did Allison release me to observe his handiwork. 

The first thing I noticed was that it didn’t fall as low as before. Allison had brought some of the locks around my head and shortened them. The longest section of hair touched my back now instead of tickling at my legs. However, my head felt a lot warmer with all the layers. The twirls and twists looked lovely, especially in the style of a Kinrae, but I had several questions. Allison had tied them securely, to the point some parts more resembled a Gordian knot with no end to start with if I wanted to unravel it.

My first question was, “How do I shower?”

Allison and Lissa exchanged a glance and then Allison whispered to Lissa, who nodded and told me, “You do know you can just reset to this form no matter what happens, right? So you can have all the private time in the shower you need…” She gave me a little smirk before continuing, “And it all goes back to where it was before. I almost wish I had it for everyday life.” Allison contributed a nod.

She was right but I hadn’t forgotten about that. I just figured it was like cheating to reset things over and over to keep them a certain way. Lissa smiled, “And that’s why you’re adorable too. But for me, I intend to use it to its fullest. Oh and before I forget…” She brought out her camera and snapped a photo with Allison taking one as well.

And that wasn’t the only one. They had me spin gently to show off the intricate braids of hair. With a deep breath, I shifted into the sort of poses I’d presented only to the mirror. I lifted one leg up and folded my arms with a gentle look. The pose was not as stable as I hoped, especially with trying to figure out the best way to hold my new balance. Allison and Lissa had no problem snapping pictures of me plopping on the carpet with my skirt bunched up and askew. 

When I ran out of ideas for how to pose, Lissa had me stand in yoga poses. Eventually, she joined in as well. We leaned back to back. We hugged, which made my heart race from the feeling of touching a Kinrae while having their touch. Not to mention Lissa’s embrace. It was all so impossible to process.

Then, she jolted me by trying to lift me up. While the mass of a freshly-arrived Kinrae swelled, my mass had dwindled since putting on the imitation device. Lissa’s had too but our masses were comparable to the point I lifted off the ground far more than I expected. I flailed and Lissa gave me a pat on the head, confessing, “Had to try it once.”

She let me sit down and I took over photography duties as Lissa did a little posing of her own. Randomly, as she was transitioning from a lean to a crouch, Lissa asked, “Have you practiced moving like a girl before?” I shook my head.

Stretching a little too, she noted (and Allison backed her up on this), “You catch on quick then because you already move a lot like a girl. Even when you fall down.” I was unsure what to make of that. She added that my thoughtful expression even looked particularly girly. I flailed until her amusement died down.

By then, it was well into lunchtime. Lissa sought out new recipes from Allison as he prepared wraps from leftovers. This gave me some time to myself. I sat there with my hands folded in my lap, soft hands over a soft skirt.

As I sat there, I felt an odd, nagging sensation, like I’d forgotten something. This often hit me if I didn’t make a mental list for the day and found myself returning with some crucial task undone. Christmas hit me hard in that regard when I tried to figure out all the people I needed to buy cards for, as well as putting together what gifts I would give my roommates. Gift exchange was informal around the house but Allison’s gifts were easily the best wrapped. Mine were put in bags with enough tissue paper to hide everything. I waited till Allison was ready to give his before getting mine together.

Wait. That was it! My eyes darted open wider. 

When I came out of the bathroom I’d locked lips with Allison and confessed to Lissa. I’d been so bold. But with a calming brush and braid by Allison, I’d fallen into my regular ways. 

If I was going to be a Kinrae then I was not going to be just like me in a different set of colors and shapes. I was going to be bolder! I was going to be active. I’d have to earn this. I focused on what I needed to do.

I stood from the couch and hurried into the kitchen. I lingered around Allison and marveled as he went to work at lunch. I offered to prepare the wraps which would be for Clayton and Malcolm when they got back. I followed all of Allison’s instructions. My new hands were clumsy at first but I kept at it and Allison gave me a clap when we were done. 

When it came time to eat, I paused and stared at the food for a while. I held onto a faint grimace that Lissa soon noticed and asked about during a lull. I only needed to look across the table at her. The contrast between the food of our world and the other-worldly face Lissa wore looked like a weird sort of cut-out animation from decades ago. I set my hands in my lap, across the silky texture of my skirt, and told her just what was on my mind.

With a wave of her bright hand, Lissa assured me, “I won’t get grossed out.” That helped but it wasn’t the point. I prodded myself again. Would a regular Kinrae be so reticent? I recalled the curious glances of the one I’d run into by the flower shop. Eating, it had to be done. 

I nibbled at first. My taste buds didn’t respond in quite the same way as usual. There was something a little more tart about the sauce Allison typically used but it didn’t look any different. Also, I could sense the pepper on the leftover chicken whereas I usually needed to add extra pepper to taste it. At the same time, the onions at the bottom had a milder flavor closer to soft lettuce than their usual taste. I reported all this to Allison, who made a few quick notes.

Lissa looked at me and then gave a big chomp of her own wrap. She shrugged and offered, “I wouldn’t know. I haven’t had this before but it tastes like it should.”   

Allison leaned forward and asked, his eyes wide, “But you both like it, right?” We both assured Allison of that and he relaxed. 

After lunch, it still seemed rather early to head over to Lissa’s house for promised photos and far too early for Lissa to go pick up Quilla from school and surprise her. It was then that Lissa offered Allison, “You can borrow my device for a while.”

Allison was tidying up some grocery coupons when Lissa said that. I watched him. He paused and smiled with a slight turn of his head, casually replying, “Later. When I can really have some fun with it.”

Meanwhile, I got to have a little fun with him. Since human makeup would look bizarre on anime anatomy, he let himself be used by Lissa as a teaching prop. Lissa cautioned she was not an expert and it didn’t even matter unless I managed to get my hands on some anime-specific makeup (which was unlikely). Whereas Allison was precise with my braids, I just fumbled my best. 

When I was done, Lissa touched it up for me. I was getting used to holding things which didn’t look anything like the hands I held them with but it was still disconcerting.

The result was good enough and served to make Allison look more feminine than I’d ever seen him. After that, we booted up one of Malcolm’s fighting games which allowed more than two players. Lissa was expectedly good. I found that I couldn’t use “new hands” as an excuse for my continued poor play because I didn’t feel weird with their altered size and the speed of play took my mind off the color clash. I just still sucked at this one. Even with Lissa teaming up with me against Allison, I was still the first one gone.

Before long, I realized it would soon be time for my later class. I’d resolved to myself that I would skip it, but I didn’t really have a good reason. Going out would give me some time to think on all which had been said and what I felt. But that was Sean-thinking. I also knew if I went then I wouldn’t be back till suppertime and I would miss Quilla seeing Lissa as she was for the first time. I wanted to be there.

The only arguments against skipping the class were the loss of a few participation points and I would miss how people on campus saw me now. It was really no contest. People would see me no matter where I went and I’d have to go to class eventually. But I really wanted to see Quilla, and so did Allison.

He’d seen her more than once before and they’d had fun, although Quilla found him “really girly” when I asked her later. 

After Allison made sure Clayton wouldn't miss the food we'd prepared, we left the house. Because Lissa was parked back on campus, we would have to be seen by a few people. However, with our class, there were sure to be at least a few others wandering about in anime form before us. 

Our cul-de-sac was quiet. No neighbors (mostly other students and a few professors) about and no cars roaming either. That changed when we got closer to campus. A car drove past us and slowed at its closest approach. The windows were hard to see through but I could feel them staring. A few more encounters happened like this. Allison quipped, with a wink, “I didn’t realize I could stop traffic.” 

At the edge of campus was the area of greatest excitement. Smartphones started coming out from people along the street. It was a residential area but bikers and joggers stopped to take their pictures. I might’ve found it rude but I’d secretly gawked at that genuine Kinrae.

Once on campus, the activity quieted down. If I had to guess, the other students had already figured it out. They seemed to be looking towards our hands and were whispering to one another. There were occasional phones but not as much excitement as the corner before.

Making our way across the parking lot, Allison skipped with ease until we came to one of the side buildings. A professor, one I’d seen before (though I didn’t know what subject he taught), passed by and stopped to chat. He had a faint, gray beard lighter in tone than my uncle’s when he tried to grow it out and a slight hunch to his shoulders. 

He immediately asked if we were students of Professor Brandt. Lissa answered first, explaining the class. He understood and marveled at us a bit before saying, “Well, you ladies look lovely and…” His eyes caught Allison rocking back and forth on his heels. He raised his eyebrows, shrugged, and finished, “I hope you all have a nice day.”

I didn’t try to correct him but then he wasn’t actually wrong. I offered him a wave as we continued to Lissa’s car. Allison gave me the front so he could sprawl out in the back seat. 

We probably should’ve turned off the devices as Lissa was driving. I noted this to her as she made her way out of the parking lot. She waved a hand and said, “Actually, I’m hoping to get a few double-takes through windows. Besides, people should have their eyes on the road, as I keep telling Quilla.” She mentioned how Quilla drew pictures of people glued to the pavement. Allison giggled.

Lissa drove sedately. We definitely attracted a crowd around our car. Allison made sure to wave when he could. 

My main concern was that we might get pulled over by the overzealous local police. There’d been some ACLK protests over the treatment of Kinrae by officers with ID checks and detaining without cause for several hours.

At that point, we would definitely need to turn off our devices and explain the situation. But the only police car we ran across was one which already had its lights and sirens going after a different target. The sudden blast of sound and light momentarily made me jerk.  

Inside Lissa’s house, Allison soon went roaming. I knew he’d visited during the one particular BBQ where Lissa invited all my roommates and Michael spent most of the evening without saying a word as he grilled.

Lissa off-loaded the pictures we had already so the memory stick would be fresh for the next round. And I got a good look at myself on her laptop screen. It was hard to connect with the image. I’d neglected a lot of the sensations from this body. Or my brain had adapted. My body didn’t feel so strange that it felt like an irritation. I had a good sense of how big my hands were and how to manipulate them. My body mass moved in a way which didn’t throw off my balance. The weight on my chest felt calmly ever-present instead of jarring. I didn’t even mind all that hair, especially with how Allison had woven it into a manageable shape. 

But then we got to clothes and I had to stare at the clothing she was loaning me. Clothing Lissa had worn before which she was now giving to me to use. Myself. Something about that struck me sharper than the fact I was wearing cel-toned garments like them already.

Lissa seemed to notice, like a shark smelling the presence of blood, and lunged at me with all sorts of things I could try on. Allison was judge and cheerleader as Lissa presented each combination. I fussed with each cut-out oddity of anime limbs and head, like a mixed up papercraft. I posed a bit, hesitantly at first. Then I got into it, focusing on my self-reminder to be truer to how I looked. 

When I was done, I had a bag of clothing that Lissa was willing to part with. A lull came when Lissa went to arrange her closet and track down stuff which might “flatter” the body she was wearing. 

In a quiet moment, I asked Allison, as he poked through the clothes, “How do you do it?”

Immediately, Allison’s eyes widened and he blinked at me with the right amount of confusion my question deserved. I rephrased, “You seem to always have so much energy and enthusiasm and joy and cleverness. And you make food for all of us too. How do you do it?” I left the next words I was thinking unsaid. Allison seemed more like a Kinrae as a boy than I was managing as an imitation of one.

Allison’s first reaction was a smirk but then he seemed to notice my expression and let the smirk go. He leaned back a bit and offered, “I blame all my brothers.”

I knew in passing that Allison had a few brothers. What I didn’t know, but which he soon revealed to me, was that he only had brothers, all of them older. He explained, “Dad raised us all. Not much to say about mom.” I cringed. He waved a hand and assured me, “I still talk to her. It’s just not ideal. She’s responsible for my name but that’s a really long story. But my brothers…” 

He gave a chuckle and his eyes narrowed with calm. “Dad can do anything and he really inspired me to be the kind of man I wanted to be. Especially the kind of man other men weren’t.” It was so challenging to see Allison as a man. The word just felt so off. But his words were strong and felt sincere. He amended, and accented with a wink, “Of course, I’ve already told you I wouldn’t mind a little fun trying new things.”

I smiled and listened as he counted off all the things his older brothers did. His oldest brother was a fitness trainer. He had another brother who was an eye doctor. There was the construction worker brother who did roofing and who’d actually met Clayton once (I’d met him too, he was a big guy compared to Allison). I hadn’t met his brother who was an emergency technician. Nor had I met his brother who was a producer for a TV station up north (turned out this brother first got Allison interested in drama when he was producing plays in high school). The one closest in age to him was a supply clerk who already had several children. About half of them were married. Allison as an uncle was another new notion that I had trouble wrapping my head around. 

Before I could delve further, Lissa emerged for the next segment of the fashion show. Some of the combinations were bright enough in tone to not look weird beside Allison’s painterly flesh. We applauded and plenty of pictures were taken. Lissa even had me climb on the platform in Quilla’s tree with a pirate patch for a photo. By the time we were done, Quilla was about to get out of school.

However, I’d been…holding it…for the entire time but my muscles couldn’t take it anymore. I thought I heard a comment from Lissa as I rushed to pee but I was too distracted to take note of it. Once inside, I searched my control device for the deactivation command. It wasn’t showing up but that was just because I was rushing. Fidgeting on my legs, I grit my teeth, set the device down, and looked at the toilet.

I had to work and think fast. Stockings. Low enough not to get in the way. Skirt. Two layers but I could bunch them up so they were out of the way. Underwear. It was there. It would have to come down. I had to do it.

Up. Down. Sit. I was nervously terrified about how I was sitting. I had everything out of the way. The same muscles were tense but focused in different places. I just relaxed them for release and relief. I kept fussing with the skirt. There was so much of it.

It was different but all by small degrees. Oddly enough, my uncle taught me more than anyone would expect an uncle to teach his nephew about feminine hygiene. Perhaps he knew all along? Either way, I was grateful. 

I found myself paranoid about my appearance to the point I almost considered loading up the saved form. I washed my hands, letting the water sparkle over the pale pastel of my hands. I looked up in the mirror. Hair still as Allison had left it. I tried a little smile. 

Straightening, I showed my profile, which shifted my appearance slightly. There was so much I could do behind a locked bathroom door… But not in Lissa’s bathroom and not right at that moment. I dried my hands and headed out.

Allison accompanied us. I’d almost forgotten how crazy busy it was around the area's public schools. High school was worse, but not by much. Lissa crept and nearly turned off her device when she had people pointing and stopping like at a car accident, making the traffic situation even worse. 

Eventually, she tracked down a bare patch of curb to park with a clear view of the front of the school. A raucous troop of young girls squealed their way past us, bolting all together. Lissa groaned and said, with bitter annoyance, “If there is a Hell, then one of its circles must be full of little girls…”

I raised an eyebrow. The cries were wild and giddy but didn’t seem that bad. Lissa glanced at me with wary eyes as she asked, “Have you ever been responsible for a feral batch of five-year-old girls on a field trip?” I couldn’t say that I ever had. 

Out spilled Lissa’s tale of woe when she happened to volunteer to help with a trip to the small, nearby science museum, which Quilla had already been to several times. Lissa wasn’t placed with Quilla’s group. She was placed with, as she called it, “the insane group”. 

“I’d rather take managing a mass of boys any day. They may screw around but they rarely work together like an unstoppable collective against you.” She shuddered. I couldn’t offer much more than nods as Allison giggled.

Lissa swiftly amended that, while a random group of little girls were unholy terrors, there was one in particular whom she loved without reservation or question and who was walking briskly over to the car. Quilla paused halfway to us, peering right at me and Lissa, who leaned forward to wave. She cocked her head, widened her eyes, and then bolted for the car. 

She pulled open the door and looked in. I looked back and just caught the edge of a stern expression which Quilla gave Allison. In return, Allison gave a happy little wave. Calmly, Quilla set her bag down in the back and buckled herself in a comfortable distance from Allison, who immediately scooted closer. Quilla groaned and asked, “Mom…?”

The question seemed clear enough to Lissa, who answered, “Be nice to our guest. And don’t fight.” Quilla set her feet, folded her arms, and sighed. Then she took on a meditative expression like she was trying to block out Allison or place some sort of ninja thing on her. 

Allison played nice but still made a couple of silly faces. Quilla calmly told Lissa, “You look cool, mom, and is that Sean?” 

I looked back at Quilla, her bright eyes peering at me. I gave her a smile and nodded, showing her my voice as I said, “It’s me.”

I felt a little nervous about what she was going to say. Allison broke the tension by asking, “Did any nice boys do anything nice for you today, QC?” Lissa gave a random snicker. 

Quilla turned her head and raised a dumbstruck eyebrow at Allison, who leaned back with a relaxed expression. Quilla’s only reaction was, “Ew…the boys in my school are all dumb. And my name is Quilla Bronte Cohen, not Quecy.” I didn’t even know her middle name. 

Allison widened his eyes. “I seeeee. Well, they can be…but all the boys? Really? Every single one?”

Quilla gave a severe nod of her head and reiterated just that. 

So Allison asked, “And the girls are better?”

To which Quilla remarked, “No, they’re dumb too. Most. Some are okay. But they don’t care about pirates or ninjas or anything important.” Allison gave an emphatically sad nod. 

Allison continued to pester Quilla about school, what “fun” she’d had, and other things to the point I had the odd feeling like they were siblings fighting in the back seat. All that was missing was the pushing and kicking. Not that I had experience with siblings.

The escalation was tempered by a stop at a place I’d only visited before with Lissa: the sliced fruit stand. Along with some smoothies, they offered a variety of fruit in bowls via drive-thru. They were never that busy but Lissa seemed to frequent them at least. 

We all ate by the side of the parking lot in relative quiet with the windows down. It was turning into a temperate afternoon, especially for this time of year. No winds kicking up. No clouds in sight. But plenty of gawkers passing by slowly as Lissa and I leaned out our windows.

Halfway through her fruit, Quilla asked, “So what did it feel like? When you got zapped into cartoons.” Her question didn’t have a name directing it to her mom or to me. Lissa shot me a glance and kept eating.

Setting my plastic bowl down, I turned to the back and told her, “I didn’t really feel anything. It was just like being different all of a sudden.” Allison leaned forward a little. Lissa added, “Same for me. Which is good because I had to try on lots of forms before I decided on this.”

Quilla looked to her mom and said, “You look like a Christmas tree.” Lissa gave her a glance and murmured, “I like green.”

“It’s like you fell down and a crayon exploded in your hair.” Allison snickered and Quilla took some pride in that. I pointed to myself and asked, “What about me?” Quilla appraised me while Lissa ate fruit in the most annoyed way possible. Eventually, she said, “Not as bad. It kinda fits you. You have a lot of hair though and it’s like ice. That makes it pretty. Not like mold.”

“Ooookay. One little pirate is going to get exiled to the Isle of Salt soon.” Lissa sent back a focused, wide gaze. Quilla didn’t seem intimidated, noting, “With my ninja skills there isn’t a pile of salt I can’t climb over. I laugh at such dangers.” Quilla gave a feigned laugh which sounded like she was imitating my regular voice. Allison rubbed at his chin a bit and then bent over to whisper to Quilla.

She stopped and listened. I couldn’t hear what Allison said. For a moment, Quilla sat there, stony-faced. Then her lips undulated and she couldn’t hold back a wild giggle. She kept laughing until Lissa pouted and had to pry, “I hope it’s not a joke on me.” Allison assured her it wasn’t but Quilla had her lips sealed about what it was. 

There were moments when I could see Michael’s presence lingering in Quilla, the way she was so skeptical with Allison, how grounded she was despite the flights of her imagination. But then there were moments like this, pure, child-like joy. I kept a smile even after the laughter died down.

Quilla rebounded a bit with Allison’s words, admonishing him, “You may talk to me like an adult.” Allison slipped on a devious expression but didn’t tease her further as we pulled into the driveway. I lingered around the car as Allison and Quilla raced each other to the door and Lissa made sure to collect all the fruit cups before the leftover juices found their way into the carpet. I noticed the empty reminder of the small peach tree which had its last year when I met Lissa and then promptly expired, only staying standing till the next stiff breeze keeled it over. 

Just such a breeze curled its way out of the calm of the day. Not too cold but still cool. It pressed at my hair, threatening to untangle the weaves and braids. I shut my eyes a moment. I had ignored so many sensations but the tracings of the wind reminded me of so much and how it had all changed, lingering especially on a sensitive area my chest had never known, pressing out slightly and so very warm against the breeze. I felt the beginnings of goose bumps but wasn’t sure how they would show with the textures of my skin. Before I could reflect further, Lissa gave me a poke in the back and urged me, “Come on in. You can have your Zen moment where it’s warm. I’ll make tea.”

It was vanilla jasmine rooibos tea, which obviously had come from where Lissa worked. The steam felt nice on my nose and cheeks. Watching my reflection in the undulating, tinted water was nice too. It was just Lissa and me at the table with our tea. Allison and Quilla had made their way into the living room and it sounded like there were grand plans afloat for an epic pirate war in the backyard. The Dreaded, Salty Sea Pirate Allison already had his voice ready.

Stirring her tea, Lissa asked me, “How do you feel now?”

I looked at her. She clarified, “You confessed. You got my response. You’ve been a girl for several hours and played dress-up and whatnot. I ask because…well, call it my psychoanalytic urge.” She took a long sip.

I wafted my tea a bit more until it felt hot on my face. “I kinda expected things would be a lot different. For all of it. I expected I would take on some Allison-like surge of cute anime-girl feeling. And…things with my body would be different. And…things would change with us.”

Lissa poked her tea bag. “I kinda did too, but differently. I mean I picked this face and yet it isn’t my face…” She gestured to herself with that fleshy, colorful hand. “But I don’t feel like I’ve become something weird. It’s just kinda when other people see me and respond that I feel conscious of how different it is. That should probably go in my paper.”

So it wasn’t just me. I scooted up and offered, “It could be part of the device or a side effect.” There wasn’t really much to back that up. Sure, there weren’t a great many cases of people using the devices who had alarming or negative psychological issues. Those who did seemed to be looking for them. So far as explaining that, reasons ranged widely depending on what field of study you asked. Lissa shrugged and noted, “At least it’s not a bad side effect.”

Then, without prelude, she clicked off her control device. The green-haired anime girl who had been sitting across from me instantly turned back into Lissa, wearing the clothes she’d had on before she went into the bathroom to change. With a smirk which had all her normal, human subtlety, Lissa noted, “Still, I like my own face. Besides, I heard that Allison wanted to spend some time on it and it’ll be cute to see both of you as girls.”

Before I could say anything else, she slipped the device off her leg and walked out of the room. I scuffed my cup of tea roughly across the tabletop. I knew I’d gotten a kind of answer from her about my feelings and I should’ve been taking some quiet hint. I was Lissa’s friend and she loved me for that. She didn’t want romance, not so soon after Michael. I got all that. At the same time, what I felt still clung to me no matter how hard I might’ve tried to push or hide it under feelings of friendship. 

And then there was Allison. And the Kinrae. And so many other complications. I held my slender hand in front of me as the fading traces of steam slipped through the gaps between my fingers.  

I heard a squeal from the other room followed by scampering. Allison hurried to stand in the doorway and show off the device and controller in his hands. Then he uttered, with a smile and a giggle, “Be right back.”

Lissa offered me some kind of cake which appeared to be non-wheat and sticky. It was a little less disconcerting to sit across from her in human form. Her hair seemed a little brighter than usual but the afternoon sun was shimmering through a side window. 

While we waited for Allison to make his reappearance, I pondered what to say to Lissa. This should’ve been easy. We should’ve been talking like we usually were. But I felt stumped. Fortunately, she found words, saying, “That, however, looks like a good face for you.” I offered her quick thanks and finished my cake.

It soon became clear from playfully-soft cackles through the bathroom that Allison was going the Lissa route and trying on every single form available in the device. Quilla made her way to the backyard and Lissa kept an eye on her through a side window. 

I took a breath and told her, “I want to take you on a date.” Blunt words. My immediate impulse was to hide my face in the steam and add something to soften that sentiment. My thought after that was I really hoped that I hadn’t said that so loud that Allison heard in the bathroom.

Lissa kept looking out the side window as Quilla scaled her platform pirate ship to hunt for salt miners. 

Without turning her head, she told me, “On the condition we go as girlfriends.”

“Both Kinrae?” 

Offering up a shrug, Lissa answered, “Maybe. But you have to go as one.”

I turned my cup a bit to distract myself. I hadn’t said yes and Lissa didn’t seem to be pushing for an answer. She looked content to watch her daughter play. My eyes felt moist and it wasn’t just the lingering condensation from the steam off the tea.

I could’ve brought up all the nice things Lissa had said about my male body, questioning why she didn’t want to go out with me like that. At the same time, the idea of going like this, and maybe both as Kinrae, sounded fun. And then there was my promised date with Allison. I heard the soft padding of feet as the bathroom door slid open. I turned to the doorway just in time to see a bright flash of color enter the room.

The new girl who stood before us had a pair of green eyes like stirred liquid jade with rising bands around a dark center. Her face had more artistic detail than mine with a flush curve of a nose and broad cheeks. Her eyes were sharply ringed. And her hair.

Her hair was bright pink, the tone of shaped, streaked cotton candy. Parts of it rose up in curls and twirled around her ears and neck, fluttering just past it. Her shoulders were narrow and her hands even more feminine than Allison’s usually were. Her color tone made her look almost tanned compared to the understated colors I wore.

She wore a clingy, blue top which seemed like an anime version of polyester with a row of dark blue along the sides and a brighter blue along the front. A collar of white showed at the top of her neckline. And then, there was the most obvious detail of all, her bust. 

Whereas Lissa had only lightly challenged me in that department, Allison tackled it and found a girl who obviously outmatched me. Despite my own current state, my eyes automatically flicked to the curve of her chest for a lingering moment. The top cradled her and showed the shading of a bra underneath. Lower, she wore a navy skirt which ended around her thighs with matching heeled boots.

Clacking on the kitchen floor, Allison turned around and laid a hand on her wide hip before asking in a voice higher than any of ours, “What do you think? I really should’ve tried for longer, straighter hair because this will be a pain to braid.”

Lissa diverted her attention to smile at Allison and offer, “You look very nice. How do you feel?”

“Jiggly. Quite jiggly at both ends.” She demonstrated with a little bounce of her legs. She giggled at that and added, “But it’s fun. I wonder what QBC will think. First, however…”

She walked towards me slowly and purposefully. Standing right next to my chair, Allison didn’t have to crouch down far to meet me. She reached her arms around my head and turned it. I sensed what was coming and parted my lips slightly as hers met mine. The kiss felt long, longer than the second one. When she was done, she gave a little giggle and an extra hug, pressing her bust into my shoulder as she pronounced, “Gotcha baaaaack!” 

With that, she bounded off and out the sliding door to go find Quilla. I touched my fingers to my lips. They seemed to tingle in a way which I’d never felt before. I felt a little flush and my heart was 'thudded'. And there were other sensations percolating in ways which made me cross my legs and clear my throat. 

Lissa wore an inscrutable smile as she looked back out the window before mentioning that the backyard tree was only a few weeks off from “vomiting pollen”. Topics dove into similar gripes as Lissa brushed at her nose. I mentioned something which had been coughed up by the Internet some weeks ago about showers of spiders and their webs covering entire trees in some foreign country. Lissa gave me a wry look and a puff of a laugh. 

Soon, we were into hokey spider monster movies with rubbery special effects. Squealing sounds and cackling proclamations of “saltine sea” battles accented the background and the tingling finally faded from my lips. 

Then, the phone on the wall gave a long ring. Lissa stood up and answered it with a trace of a smile on her lips. That smile soon faded as I watched. She dipped her head down and answered, “Yeah. Hello….Things are fine. She’s fine…..Tonight?...That’s short notice. It has been a while but I thought we’d agreed…Of course. I have a few guests over though….Yeah….No. Just friends….They will. They’re staying late…..You’ll have to deal with that….I’ll have something ready by then. Bye.”

Her features were rigid and she gave a long, tense sigh as she hung the phone back up. I had an inkling of who was on the other end but I folded my hands and waited for her to tell me. Lissa cleared her throat, opened the sliding door, and called Quilla inside. She had some dust on her clothes and her hair was a little messed up. Lissa fussed with both and told her to go get cleaned up.

Quilla hustled down the hall and Allison came in with her bright pink hair even more unkempt than before. She glanced around and asked, “What’s up?”

Lissa looked more towards me and said, “Asshole is coming to dinner.” Allison cocked her head and Lissa added, “My husband, Michael, is making a surprise visit to see Quilla because he has business up north.” She pressed at her face and cracked her neck. 

I scuffed my feet and Allison pondered a bit before asking, “Would you like me to assassinate him with my boobs? Sexy but deadly.” She cupped her hands under them for emphasis and gave a little smile. 

With a small laugh, Lissa remarked, “Not yet….we’ll see how dinner goes. Gotta get things ready.”