Allison put together some leftovers, that would be “for Michael” when he “got back”. She also arranged and consolidated all the clothes Lissa had agreed to loan me into one big bag. At least Lissa hadn’t decided to take them back. 

I waited for the cab on the front porch, staring at the trees across the street as the wind made them sway. Before long, winter would be a distant memory and, as was typical of this area, spring would fly by in about a week before the full brunt of early summer toasted everything. For the moment, it was pleasant to see a cool breeze even though it did little for my mood. 

The door behind me clicked open. I turned. Not Allison. It was Linnea. She raised a hand but didn’t wave it. A blast of air fluttered her hair all over as she tried to control it. She made small steps towards me and asked, “Mind if I join you for a minute?”

I gestured a hand to the empty place beside me on the porch. She stepped cautiously over and lowered herself with her legs crossed. Sitting, she had one leg over the other as she smoothed out her skirt. I raised an eyebrow. 

She glanced at me with her hands in her lap. She cleared her throat and said, “There’s something I need to tell you…”

For a moment, I wondered if this would be like one of those last act twists in bad movies where the villain takes off their kindly appearance while alone with the hero to reveal their secret, nefarious plans. Linnea didn’t do that. She took a deep breath and said, “Michael and I both think you look cute like that…looking like a Kinrae.” She turned away. 

I couldn't help but laugh. This was the man I’d felt so intimidated by, like some old fear of teachers who loomed high above me and never seemed to smile when I was a child. And other memories, ones closer to pain. Linnea fussed and frowned cutely at my laugh.

I told her, “Thanks to both. Not sure what to say to that though.”

She brushed at her legs and told me, “It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything. It’s just…Michael definitely should’ve said more good things to you before.” 

I leaned on my hands. looked over at Linnea, and asked her, “I was wondering a few things, if you don’t mind me asking…”

Linnea eagerly told me to “Ask away”. 

First, I had to ask, “Are you and Linnea separate? Like personalities?” It was a lingering question, especially with how well Linnea kept “in character”.

She clenched the lines of her mouth in darkened shadow. It took her a moment to offer, “It’s difficult. As I said, it’s not a game but at the same time, I know Michael…I know me. But I’m also ashamed of that. I wish…I just wish…that I wasn’t who I was. That I could just wipe it all away and rewrite things. Right now, I am Linnea. And I…Linnea have…has only been out a few times and this was my first time around those I know. But it’s like…taking a mask off and putting on one at the same time with being a Kinrae, with being Linnea…does that help?”

I couldn’t say for sure. In some ways, I could understand what Linnea meant. And I felt many of the same things. But a feeling inside me fought against comparisons between the two of us. I glanced down and asked Linnea, “What is Lissa gonna think of the Kinrae now?”

She gave a snicker and offered, “I’m not the one to ask about what Lissa is thinking. If I was, then things would be so much different than they are. But…Michael knows Lissa is brilliant and wise in so many ways he never was. And he still feels the best he has inside for her…but he knows in his head that his time is used up. His only hope is that maybe some day she’ll understand and she won’t feel so bad. And….and….he…”

A grimace twisted along Linnea’s face before she finally murmured, “I know he…would wish you well with Lissa and want so very much not to make things so complicated.”

There were so many things I could say. I wanted to pry at Linnea’s calm exterior, make her take back the nice things and reveal some of the old Michael I expected. I wanted to feel angry at her about something, anything. Maybe the way she phrased things. But more and more, I could imagine Michael as a person. And it wasn’t just the sympathetic Kinrae exterior. That was just a filter.

Taking a deep breath, I turned and leaned towards Linnea. Cautiously, I gave her the one thing I never expected I would give Michael before this evening, a hug with my arms wrapped around her shoulders. She seemed a little rigid in my touch but soon settled to accept the hug.

The front door slid open and a soft, sudden gasp filled the air. We both looked back at Allison standing there with everything wrapped up for travel. Her eyes widened and she pouted with a scuff of her foot as she said, “Oooooooooo…you’re putting the moves on my man-girl-boy-woman!….Heh…I don’t mind. We could share him/her.”

I wasn’t quite sure which of us Allison was referring to but, considering it was Allison, it probably didn’t matter. Linnea gave a little laugh and got to her feet. I joined her.

Not long after that, the cab pulled up and beeped its horn. Lissa bolted through the front door with her purse around her shoulder and made sure our fare was paid. She paused on her way back and looked between Linnea and me standing side by side. Her expression went through a series of wild twists before she finally snorted and pointed to me.

“You…will receive a call before next class!” I raised my eyebrows.

Then her finger moved to Linnea, who looked back calmly. 

“You…go back to playing with Quilla.”

Then her finger turned to herself.

“You…take a nap.”

She vanished back through the front door with something between a slam and a firm close. 

Linnea stretched and advised, “We know not to dispute orders from Melissa.”

I leaned against the wall as Allison walked by, hauling everything. I offered to help but she declined, choosing instead to sail and twirl down the driveway until she zoomed right into the cab’s trunk and had everything stuffed inside. The driver, leaning on the door, spat over his shoulder and shrugged.

Softly, Linnea took a step closer to me and said, “I was just thinking I should use ‘I wish’ less. I will fix things as much as I can. I want and will see you and Melissa happy. I will be different in better ways as much as I can. Take care, Sean. Have a good evening.”

I bid her a good evening as well and made my way to the cab. Allison scooted close in the seat and stretched out her legs. The driver gave us each a long look and then confirmed our destination. That was all he said towards me, even though Allison engaged him in a bit of small talk about recent customers. He had a few stories about driving the mayor home when he got drunk. 

I rested my eyes and let Allison do the talking. Linnea and Lissa and all the concerns I felt drifted away, at least for a little while. But the notion I’d gotten from Linnea remained. I thought of the Kinrae I’d seen on the first day of class. She was a person too. 

Not exactly the most monumental of notions. Yet it was something widely-debated when they first arrived. Were they the same as us? Should we see them as humans with a different kind of skin and form? For me, it felt alarming to denigrate them to our level. They were amazing. 

But as I sat there with the body I had borrowed from a Kinrae I’d never met, I couldn’t shake the feeling of Linnea and how Michael, of all people I could imagine, could embody what I saw as quintessentially Kinrae. 

I grappled with it. With Lissa it was easier to see Lissa with just a different skin. Allison was Allison no matter the cotton candy hair. But Michael. It was still a different skin. But it was also a revelation. And it wasn’t just Linnea’s appearance. 

I rested my hand beside my eye. I thought I knew Michael. I managed to speak confidently against him. I didn’t expect this evening. I didn’t expect to be sitting next to him as he said all the things he said as Linnea. But it happened. 

Allison smiled at me and asked, “Tickle for your thoughts?” She wiggled her fingers. I gave her a smile in return and said, “That wasn’t how I expected this evening to go…”

With an overly-dramatic expression of curiosity, Allison nodded back. “I expected a cuddle-fest. Along with karaoke, baking cookies, and Quilla learning a valuable lesson about the power of friendship from brightly-colored little ponies and using that lesson to kick salt monsters in their kneecaps, even if they don’t have any. Then something with root beer but that’s as far as I got.” The driver didn’t even glance back. 

I watched Allison’s face as the flashes of street lights through the window excited her colors. I rested my hands in my lap and told her, “I want to go on that date with you this week.”

Her brilliant eyes seemed to shimmer a little more with each catch of light. “I’d love that! But there might be busy stuff most of tomorrow for me. Maybe I can give Lissa the thingie back for her class with you and then borrow it for a few hours afterwards?” She tapped her lips and glanced ahead. 

I had other thoughts. I whispered them to Allison and she smirked, saying, “I like it. I’ll pack the picnic.” I jumped in, “And I want to cook it.”

Allison arched her faint eyebrows. It wasn’t as though I never cooked. My uncle had taught me plenty. Living with Allison meant that some of that skill had dwindled but it would be good practice. I held Allison’s hand and told her, “A picnic at the park on the edge of the city as soon as possible with the promise of a perfect date with pizza and books soon after that.” 

I felt enthusiasm in my declaration and I didn’t care if the cab driver was listening. Allison’s eyes twinkled and she nodded eagerly. It would be tough for the next few days because he had classes which would go late. But I committed to it and it felt good to see Allison so happy.

Before long, we were home. I wanted to do like Allison did with carrying everything she’d brought in one trip but, despite the fact we weren’t too dissimilar in height and build, it was just too much. Allison winked as she lifted it all with one arm and we went inside. 

I could tell at the doorway both Clayton and Malcolm were home from the slight sounds of welding from the way to the garage and footsteps in the kitchen. Allison hustled into the kitchen and dropped her bags in front of Malcolm, who was sitting in a chair and eating leftovers. 

He gave us each a long look with his eyes flicking to Allison’s bust in particular. Allison winked and leaned forward, saying, “Hello there…”

Malcolm was rendered speechless for a long moment. I felt a strange pang of annoyance that he didn’t spend much time looking at me. When he finally spoke, he couldn’t keep his eyes from finding Allison’s most prominent feature again and again. He cleared his throat and said, “Hi…”

Allison snickered and leaned back. “Oh Malcolm, don’t recognize us?” She fluttered her vast eyes a bit as Malcolm found his glass of water to take a long drink. Allison was enjoying this. It would’ve been a little more fun if I was the one causing him to be flustered, if only a little bit. 

When Malcolm found words, he immediately said, “Actually…Sean? I mean there’s that class but…Allison?” I felt a surge of intrigue. He didn’t know which of us was which. The pink hair probably should’ve been obvious for Allison. I seized the moment and said, “Did you like the meal I prepared?” Wait, had I prepared the meal or had Allison? It'd been a long day but never mind that. Project confidence.

I added a bit of what I heard as playful in Allison’s voice along with that slight smirk as I’d seen on her face. I hoped Allison would play along. She glanced at me and I thought she gave one of my expressions as a man. Hard to tell, especially with the way it was translated through a Kinrae’s features.

“You always cook the best, Allison. Did you want to have a bit of fun with him as well?”

My heart throbbed. He was still flicking his eyes to Allison’s body even though Allison told him that was me. I felt a weird sort of delight at that. I wasn’t good at posing though, but I emulated one of the game girls from his fighting games to compensate. He was starting to appear red in the face. 

‘Sean’ sat down near Malcolm and folded her hands in front of her. She toyed with Malcolm a bit and then passed the game off to me. I tried to keep up all the little comments about how much we both missed Malcolm while he was away. But I reached a point where the comments got so suggestive….firm, big, hot, throbbing….that I was just one-upping it to ridiculousness. I cracked first and giggled. 

Allison joined me a moment later and we both admitted to our real identities. He frowned. It didn’t seem like he completely trusted the truth. With a laugh, Allison said she was going to “check on Clayton”. I turned and watched her go. Only when she was gone did I remember the promise Allison told me she’d made to Clayton: Jumping each other’s bones. 

She wouldn’t do that right then, would she? Malcolm had no qualms about being with his girlfriend when the rest of us were around but then he had a heavy door and I’d never heard anything.

I didn’t get up. I looked at Malcolm with a slight smile. He looked at me quietly and asked, “Sean?” I was about to answer but then I remembered the name Allison wanted to give me and offered it, “Corlie, at least like this. It’s been an eventful day. As you can see. Wanna try it?”

Malcolm arched his eyebrows and held up his hands as he said, “Pass. I’m still trying to get a handle on all this. So you….uhh….I’m not sure how to put it.”

I helped him. “You’re wondering whether I’ve always wanted to be a girl and how I feel about you.”

He didn’t dispute this but gave me a lingering look. His eyes still flicked to my chest every so often. I rubbed at my braided hair. It was starting to get itchy. 

Setting my hands flat, I told him, “I’m not sure. It’s been kind of a weird day with everything. All I know is I love Kinrae…and I have no physical interest in you at all.”

Malcolm frowned and mulled that. He noted, “You know…you don’t necessarily have to say it that bluntly. I know it’s you and all but, while you look like that…I mean I do have this particular 'effect' on the ladies…so it’s okay if it hits you too.”

I snorted through my nose and dipped my head. I’d heard him say it before but being the subject of that was a twist. It sounded silly then and it still sounded silly. I could’ve played along but I just laughed and Malcolm narrowed his eyes. 

Through the wall to the garage, I could hear yelling, which made me sink down in my chair. I knew Malcolm could hear it as well because he leaned towards the wall. I had a certain expectation until I heard the words, clear through the insulation, “BEST RC CAR EVER!”

At which point Malcolm and I both made for the garage and flung open the door. For a faint moment, I was afraid we might be walking in on something very uncomfortable. Instead, in one of the few clear places in the garage without experiments, junk, or walls which looked like alien cyborg creations, Allison was jumping a heavily-modified RC car over a wooden ramp with...foam bones which looked like parts to a dinosaur skeleton at the end. Allison pushed the car hard and jumped it right over the bones before it flipped and skidded towards Clayton, who was laughing.

I probably should’ve expected this. Malcolm snickered behind me. I did have some fun launching the RC car when Allison passed control to me. Clayton stared at my hair for the longest time in the meanwhile and eventually the game was ceded to Clayton and Malcolm with ever bigger obstacles.

I followed Allison to the couch, where she explained that, “Clayton has been working on a turbo engine RC car and I helped make some of the bones. I’ve known about it a while. It was just a little joke. Sorry.”

I snickered and told her it was fine. She glanced away and folded her hands in her lap. “But…you know, I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to have a certain kind of fun together sometime.”

I couldn’t hold back my blush but I bowed my head and told her, “We’re going to have all sorts of fun at that picnic. And we’ll see how things go from there.”

Allison gave a calm nod. It felt like when we’d gone out for frogurt. I had to do something. I didn’t want both Allison and Lissa to feel down. Impulsively, I put my arm around her narrow shoulder. She giggled and leaned into me, though she avoided touching my braided hair. 

It felt nice. It especially felt nice to know Allison was happy. Thoughts of Lissa tempered my feelings but I answered them by telling myself that she knew what she wanted. I still hoped she might reconsider friends-only but Linnea complicated it. For this moment though, it felt nice to be sitting next to Allison. And I slowly realized that it wasn’t just because we were both Kinrae or even that she was. I just enjoyed moments with Allison, even if I didn’t think of him that way. 

But I enjoyed moments with Lissa too. They were just different. I calmly searched these feelings, not sure what they meant but conceding they didn’t need to be understood right at that moment.

I turned to Allison and asked her, “Would you like me to hug you with just me as a boy for a bit? I haven’t really done that.”

Her eyes flashed in a way which would’ve just been a moment of delight in human form as she looked back at me. Her fidgeting was obvious. I excused myself to the restroom for the change.

Once inside, I looked at that Kinrae face and retrieved my controller. Going through the system, I activated the shutdown. It was just a touch. But it didn’t go how I expected. With Lissa, the shift was instantaneous. 

For me, there was a delay. I was still looking at Corlie’s visage staring back at me with a touch of concern. I could feel the device on my ankle but it didn’t feel as snug as it should’ve been. It was slipping. 

I took a breath. I was still a Kinrae. I had enough moments to feel a surge of panic before the Kinrae form reverted to my regular face and body and the device clung to my human ankle again. 

An examination of the controller didn’t reveal any errors or problems. Questions swirled inside my head. I knew there were sometimes technical problems with the devices, same as any form of technology. There were sometimes what people online referred to as side effects. Stuff like body hair falling out or brief, temporary changes in skin tone. Just residual stuff. I’d not heard of a delay like what I’d experienced. That didn't include the calming, relaxation-based effects.

Well, thinking about it, some had mentioned perhaps a momentary delay but this was several seconds at least. I slipped the device off and looked at it. No different than I remembered. It had worked though. Gradually, my heart rate returned to normal. I told myself that my computer often had weird things which happened to it and then it would be normal for a long time. This was probably the same thing, just with more sudden consequences. It would probably never happen again.

I wasn’t ready to test it out though. The shift back to my own body made it feel a little awkward and even itchy. Not badly so but it felt unfamiliar. I figured that too would pass after a while. I decided not to dwell any more. After all, Allison was waiting.

Stepping out of the bathroom, I approached the living room slowly. At first I didn’t see her. Turned out I forgot to look to my right. She was right there by the hallway, ready to wrap her arms around me. We scooted back to the couch together. 

My concerns about the quirky behavior of the device faded away and I just enjoyed Allison’s touch. It was different than when Allison snuggled me up when we were both guys and when she snuggled me and I was a Kinrae. I couldn't say exactly how but I had a feeling.

If that same lady in line from when we bought the herb seeds noticed us like this, the Kinrae thing would’ve come first. The affection would fit though. Sitting there, I looked over at Allison as she rested her candy-bright head against me. 

I did feel butterflies with her touch but it would be a different kind of nervous tickling if Allison was against me as a boy. In a flash, I felt sad pangs thinking that Allison had to ask me out on a date with the condition that he be a girl at the time. 

I touched her head softly and she glanced up, asking, “You okay?”

With a smile, I told her like I’d said before, “I love you, Allison.”

She absorbed my words like a warm tickle of air and, before I realized it, she kissed and held my lips. I brushed her cheek and my hands roamed lower. Her shoulders were so warm. She pressed into me, so soft against my body. 

One of my older fantasies was like this. A snuggling, eager Kinrae. We were so close. I shivered as Allison settled into my lap. I kissed her and slid my hands down her back. 

I could imagine what we might do next. I’d done it before. Audrey. I needed someone and we both thought it was the only way to show how much we loved each other. We were separated in four weeks. Hannah, some time later. She even dyed her hair bright colors. She was sweet. 

And then there was Lissa. 

I dipped my head down. Allison drew back and asked, “What’s wrong?”

Her wide gaze almost seemed to sparkle as she looked at me. Before this day, my heart would’ve moved at every shift of a face like that. But the more I looked back at her, the more I could see the mask which my friend wore and the one she’d taken off. 

I slipped my hands around her hands and guided her back over beside me in the couch. She looked bewildered. I offered, “I’m sorry. I don’t want this to be for the wrong reasons, especially after everything that’s happened today.”

Allison smirked and dipped her head down, saying, “And what if I really just want to play a…vigorous, competitive match of two-player together without my usual controller?” She couldn’t hold back a giggle as I gave her a look. She added, “Sorry, couldn’t think of anything funny involving an RC car.”

I chuckled in return and brushed a hand across her neck. She sat up slightly as I traced it slowly. Allison made a soft little sound and told me, “Getting…uhhh…mixed messages heeere.” She looked a little flush.

I told her. “You’re one of the most incredible friends I could ever imagine. And I can imagine so many things…together with you right now. But I’ve also made mistakes so many times and I don’t want that to happen again with you.”

She cocked her head to the side like a curious puppy and asked me, “Sooo, we get married first?”

Allison still found ways to surprise me. She grinned as my eyes widened. She touched my shoulder and told me, “You’re my friend forever, mistakes and all. I would love more than anything to make you feel good and happy, especially right now. So I won’t force anything you don’t want to do.”

Then she added, “But anything you are willing to do, feel free to let me know at any time. Oh and it’s okay to take a shower with this on, right?” She gestured to her leg with that last part. So far as I knew, it was fine. I informed her she would have to keep the controller nearby though.

Sitting there, my body still felt her as a gorgeous Kinrae and woman and all my instincts were to throw aside caution and let the moment continue. But I pushed the moment away. To the rest she asked, I told her, “I just want your joy.”

That was vague enough to allow Allison to refer teasingly to my pants, but she pressed her head against my shoulder and said, “But I have some quiet joys and they’re enough. Especially when I get to plan a picnic.” 

As I sat there with Allison cuddling up to me, I found it was easier for me to see what Lissa had been talking about in weeks before and earlier in the evening. I loved Allison. I knew that. But I also loved Kinrae as a continuum of special beauty. And I loved Lissa just as clearly, even after tonight.  

All that together, I just didn’t know. All I could tell was that I couldn’t have everything. Something would have to give. 

But for this quiet moment on the long couch (aside from the yelling and RC squealing a few walls over) it didn’t have to be decided yet. 

Allison broke the quiet with a plan to make popcorn and put on a guilty-pleasure movie. She made it in a large pot, like the kettle corn she’d made months ago. It came out perfectly seasoned and rich-tasting. We shared a big pile of it as the movie started. It was a more rollicking, higher-quality adventure tale than anything Lissa and I would watch on our movie nights. Clayton even came over for a bit and stared at the screen like he was mining it for ideas. Malcolm also stopped by and gave the sort of look I expected him to give to me and Allison cuddling close.

It wasn’t as though Allison didn’t cozy up during just about every sort of movie. Her body seemed to shimmer with the glow of the TV, especially once I’d turned all the lights out. She was gorgeous. And it wasn’t just because she was a work of art which revealed new beauty at every shift of her pose or turn of her head like all Kinrae. The mask revealed Allison in ways her regular body showed only faintly.

I wanted to touch her again with no intent in mind aside from making her smile that deeply-drawn smile. I could imagine moving with my hand all over her like a small brush, accenting her paint-like form. 

And at the same time, I wondered what it would be like to feel a hand like Allison’s, male or Kinrae, showing me the detail of that same kind of skin as I felt every drift of the finger. And I wondered the same combination with Lissa. My mind was severed into three conflicting pieces.

I could only sit there, focusing on the movie most of the time and on Allison when she shifted. After several big (and rather impressive) fight scenes, I realized there was a small sound coming from Allison, like the faintest chitter of a squirrel. I glanced beside me and notice her head was drooping, only supported from drifting further by my shoulder.

Her eyes were shut. I smiled a moment before noticing the obvious signs of tears along her cheeks. They were brighter than regular water, matching the style of her body. They flowed despite her closed eyes.

I watched her, wondering why. A bad dream? Something I had said? I wanted to wipe them away but I also didn’t want to wake her. Looking down at her slight hand resting on her thigh, I wrapped my hand around it protectively. She didn’t make a sound. Slowly, after swelling slightly, her flowing tears faded to nothing and her little snore deepened. 

Time passed, the movie actually ended with a curious moment where the hero was forced to make a decision between returning to the woman who loved him and venturing out into places unknown with his new companions. The resolution was a bit obvious but still enjoyable. 

Even with the credits rolling, Allison slept. 

I carefully turned on the lights so as not to disturb her. Not even a flutter of her broad eyes. Shifting slightly, I had a random notion. I could probably pick her up and tuck her into her bed. 

I plotted it out a little. I snuck my hands underneath her and then gingerly lifted…

…Tried to lift.

…Pushed myself to lift.

….Groaned to lift.

Either she was heavier than I expected or I’d gotten a lot weaker. I wasn’t about to give up. But the next lift was a bit too much because I stumbled when Allison shifted and I tumbled onto her. 

My face in her face, her eyes finally fluttered open. She got in a smirk and the quiet words, “As cute as this is…I’d like to breathe.”

I staggered away from her and she cleared her throat before pouting at the finishing credits on the TV. I watched as she brushed at her eyes but the tears were long gone. She glanced at me and then to the empty bowl on the floor before asking if I liked the popcorn. I told her, “You made it, so naturally yes.”

That delighted her as she got to her feet. She inquired about the movie and she pouted more as I filled her in about the plot. Chuckling, she remarked, “I guess I was more worn out than I expected.” She gave a theatrical yawn and noted, “I should get ready for bed. Which means sexy shower time.” She winked and stepped into the hallway.

I let out a long breath and wondered if it was still early enough to call my uncle. I would probably get his machine unless he was up experimenting with flavors or hosting a late get-together. I tried it anyway and only got his machine.

After apologizing for calling him late, I said, “I feel like today I really lived what you always tell me. A lot of new in ways I never expected. Still not sure what to do with it though and I don’t feel any wiser than I was when the day started. There’s an email coming with a lot of stuff. I can talk after class tomorrow.” And then I wished him a goodnight and that was it.

I lingered on the phone and scrolled up to Lissa’s number. I highlighted it but shut off my phone and leaned back in the couch. I could hear the water running in the bathroom. My device and its controller were on the table to the side. I picked them up and took them to my room.  

I also took the clothes Lissa had loaned me. I found a drawer in my dresser which wasn’t as full and found a side for everything together. With certain clothes on top, they didn’t look so out of place. Still, I felt like a secret crossdresser.  

I booted up my computer and noticed Allison was still going at it in the shower. But then our shower head was detachable with multiple settings. I glanced back at the device and controller but let them sit there as I started up my writing program.

The small, black cursor blinked at me from the top of a blank page. I wasn’t in any hurry to write but after this sort of day, I should’ve been overflowing with things to say after so many firsts. But the cursor just stood there. Blinking.

I leaned forward and started a few words but then quickly tapped on backspace to snatch them out of existence. I scratched at my regular, scruffy hair. I cracked my neck one way and then the other, followed by my back. I scratched my nose. I did everything I could possibly conceive of aside from trying to put a few words on the screen. 

Clenching my eyes tight didn’t help any either. Finally, I decided that I just needed to jot down the things to remember. I made a note for Allison’s surprise kisses and mine in return. I mentioned masks. I tried to put my first experience in the bathroom into a few words to flesh out later. I paused at a mention of Lissa and then Michael. I had too much to say.

I massaged my temple and realized I couldn’t hear the sounds of the shower anymore. The door creaked open and I leaned to look. Allison stepped out clad only in a large enough bath towel to reach from chest to thigh. The leftover water droplets clung to her like glitter. More than her chest, which I could tell she wanted to show off with the position of her towel, I noticed her face with her hair slicked against her neck and her rose-tinted cheeks. And I especially noticed her smile as she wrapped a smaller towel around her head.  

And she noticed me. She gave a turn of her head and laid a hand on her broad hip before saying, “That was so much fun. Feel free to give it a whirl as Corlie. And, for your information, the pulsate settings were the best.” Then she blew a kiss and told me, “See you in the morning…or sooner if you like” before picking up the controller and walking to her bedroom.

Malcolm’s door opened more than a crack as she left. He puffed out a long breath and gave me a look. I was left with the device and the controller. The delay was on my mind but I knew rationally that it was unlikely to happen again, especially with just a short usage. But it would be in the shower. Allison’s was fine but if there was something wrong with mine…

Before I could debate it further, I’d slipped the device around my leg and I was accessing the saved information. A quick tap and I was Kinrae Corlie with her hair all neatly braided. That was sure to be a waste. 

I scampered into the bathroom before Malcolm could look out again. Fortunately, Allison had left several spare towels on the rack. I’d need to undress. Eventually. And there was plenty to remove. I looked at the shower and down at…the Kinrae I’d loaned. I fussed with my top enough that it was soon unbuttoned. Sliding the skirt off made me stagger. I clenched my eyes closed a little.

Sure, I could tell myself this was just another person. But I was operating them. I had control of them. And it was me. I knew that, I felt that from those first moments. But it was another matter to see my body…this body…in the most private way. It was my flesh but not my flesh. Not even human colors. Unreal colors. Unreal shapes. But….human shapes.

I stopped trembling for a moment and managed to see her underwear without feeling too weird. Okay. I told myself this was just one way I could’ve gone as well. If I had genetics much sharper than the ones I did. And been born in a universe where everyone looked like art. It was me but that was easier to comprehend with all my clothes on. And then there was the mighty problem that just glimpsing myself in the mirror felt as good as all the slight imaginings of Lissa and Allison close to me. And then my body’s reaction to it all…like accelerant on a fire with every new sensation.

Whimpering faintly, I slid the underpants down, undid the bra, and cast the last of the clothes away. I felt cold standing there, which didn’t help in the least.

With a steadying breath, I sniffled and opened my eyes. What I saw was not what I expected. I expected something like blinding divine light, the end of the Raiders of the Lost Ark, only melting my brain. But I thought of Aubrey and Hannah as I gazed at my reflection, bracing for a shock that never came. I was bigger and smaller in certain areas than either of them. I looked polished all over. I was a work of art, even without my clothes.

It was still hard, easier to look with glimpses and jarring when things moved without the shielding mask of clothing. I felt raw, like more than just one mask had come off. But as the moments piled up, the shock dwindled. I moved closer and posed as I did when I first changed, with all the same sense of discovery as then.

Eventually, the chill of the room forced me into the shower where the curtain mottled and muted my flesh tones. The shower was easy to start but gave me a skin-tingling blast of cold, misty water before I managed to get it under control. 

Allison had left her products to the side. I squeezed out a gob of body soap and began to spread it around. I avoided the vastly different areas until a turn of the shower head found the settings Allison had mentioned. I shivered.

Before long, the borders seemed to recede. It was like Allison on the couch, only this time I didn’t hold back. I knew a little of what Hannah liked and it went pretty far. The rest I soon learned on my own. 

I pushed myself. I embraced the sensations. I hoped to heck the running water was loud enough to blot out my voice.

Time ebbed away as I finally sunk beneath the flow. I wanted to stay longer. I wanted to find more but I also didn’t want to pay for a massive water bill. Next time would be a long, warm soak. 

I stepped out and peered at my reflection in the mirror. I wrapped myself up in the other big towel Allison had left behind. I dipped the front as much as she had as well. I smiled at myself, placed the smaller towel around my drenched, heavy locks as a small, futile measure, and stepped out of the bathroom.

Malcolm’s door was slightly open and I caught him before he could close it. With a smirk to rival Allison’s, I nudged him to wear the device himself if he was “so interested in watching.” With a heavy groan, he finally accepted “just once and at a time of my choice” and only so Allison and I would leave him alone. And he added, “Never tell my girlfriend.”

As a consolation, I posed slightly for him but didn’t let him take a picture. After retrieving the controller, I took an extra towel from my closet and wrapped it so I wouldn’t drip everywhere. 

With a smile, I wrote on my computer. I wrote about everything. I didn’t censor myself. I knew just about everything I wrote would have to be pared down to save me from embarrassment but I relayed every feeling I had until I heard a faint knock on my door.

I heard Allison’s soft, girlish voice call through the door, “I have something to shaaare.”

I welcomed her in. But to my surprise, Allison was back as a boy. Giggling, he said in the same high voice he’d had as a Kinrae, “Surprise!”

He soon explained, “I decided to turn off the device for a little while before bed and then I noticed my voice. I can make it sound more like usual…” 

He gave an example of something closer to his usual voice, though it still sounded higher than normal. “…And I can make it sound really high…”

His voice became higher and squeakier than any Kinrae and most girls I’d ever heard. “…Or just really seexaaaay…”

And indeed it did, which made me blush. With a high giggle, Allison asked me, “Is this like a side-effect or something?”  

I wasn’t sure what to tell him. I shrugged and said I would ask in class. I’d have to ask about the ‘side-effect’ I’d had as well. At least Allison seemed happy with it and was already devising “nefarious ways to confuse and arouse random people”. 

When he’d scampered off while testing his high, lovely singing voice, I turned off my device with the controller. The delay was still there. I counted using the clock at the bottom of my screen. I was still damp with heavy hair and a colorful figure. Still Corlie the Kinrae. 

I ticked off the seconds. After twelve, my regular body blinked back into being, fully-clothed but wrapped in damp towels. Thinking back, it could’ve been a longer delay this time or the first time. It was too close to know.

I tested again. On for a minute then off. The delay seemed shorter, closer to ten seconds, but still there. I wasn’t sure what that meant. I could just have a temperamental device with some quirks. But what to make of Allison’s situation? And had Lissa changed any after her time? I couldn’t remember. 

I’d never heard of behavior quite like this and I’d read much of what was published about the devices. I flipped back through the reams of paperwork we had to go over for class. As I already knew, there were mentions made of “side-effects” and “oddities” and “trace effects”. But this seemed bigger than that. 

If Allison’s voice went back to normal tomorrow and my device stopped having a delay then I would know it was nothing. If it all stayed the same, then I didn’t know what to think. 

Although, I was reminded of all the conspiracy web sites which got far more press on sensationalist news programs than they deserved. They had theories about how the Kinrae were taking over the government with mind control and slowly converting missing persons to grow an army to conquer the world. I didn’t believe a single bit of it. 

But I had to wonder what was going on with our devices. I considered an email to my professor but deleted the opening before I’d put any serious thought into it. It was getting late. I was tired. I’d be able to think better in the morning.

Sadly, I slipped the device off and set it on my table with the controller. I went to bed as Sean, wrapped up in my covers. I stared at the bright, smiling anime girls on my walls. 

Eventually, I slept.