Once the door sealed, I expected one of us to get cold feet, probably me. I also expected a passionate eruption like the other night. Instead of any of that, Allison took my hand and pressed hers against it. We moved over to the bed and plopped down. 

My heart did thud a little more than usual. We scooted back to the pillows. They smelled fresh. We looked at one another. I could’ve asked if this was Allison’s first but I knew that Allison had enough experiences for a few good stories. But none of those experiences was quite like this. 

I slipped my hand over her smooth arm, feeling velvety warmth cloaked in the cool of the room. Goosebumps followed for her. I asked, “Is your skin still sensitive?”

She nodded shyly but said, “I think I’m getting used to it though.” I ventured further, moving cautiously, conscious of when it seemed like something went beyond mere sensitivity. She reached to touch back but I told her, “You first.”

In every motion and intent, I focused on gentleness, on care. So much of what I knew growing up was blunt and harsh, I wanted to bend all my softer feelings towards Allison. I had a plan.

I took a long time to explore her body. It seemed to put her into a relaxed state like a massage. Only once I’d gone over her regular skin did I seek out her special areas and only then with roundabout touches. 

I could tell she was enjoying it and she still had all her clothes on. When it came time for clothes, I used the removal as another means of tracing her skin. 

Her chest was a place I exercised special restraint. She may not have had the “angel cakes” of an anime form but I found the whole form that rested against her to be uniquely beautiful. By that time, I’d gone from touching to more purposeful teasing but Allison’s response didn’t spike. Instead, it looked like she was climbing a mountain bit by bit. She moved to kiss me and pull me close. I let her as she returned a faint trace of my neck. I kept my hands slowly searching their way across her. 

Soon, I’d finished undressing her. I thought that I could only feel visual ecstasy from a Kinrae form. But looking down at Allison, with her eyes half-shut and joyful contentment on her face, I felt bliss shared in her presence. 

I saved the most exposed part of her for last. Aubrey had taught me a few things. I worked more intimately than by touch alone. I kissed her delicately. I experienced her and she felt the best of it.

When the build-up reached its peak, it did so for Allison several times over. I’d brought her across that mountain and over several surrounding hills. Words left her. I lived through the sensations expressed in her body. When the ebb finally arrived, with slow pants and drying sweat, Allison stared at me for several long moments before she found the words to say, “I have the…best boyfriend ever! To heck with pulsate settings. I felt like I was on pulsate for half an hour and it just got better and better. That didn’t even feel real! It was like something you share online and everyone thinks it’s bull…”

I quipped, “Hope anything that comes next doesn’t disappoint.”

She giggled. “You could use cold cucumbers and I still wouldn’t be disappointed after that round. And I do feel quite motivated to make things a little more fun on your end.” Her hands traced my pants.

I let her slip off my clothes. Although my skin didn’t react as sharply, as she teased my patches of body fuzz, it was still nice. And it got even nicer when I was sharing bare skin with her. It was like a plunge off the deep end of a pool. But, instead of the fear, serenity swallowed me and that moment slipped naturally into the next.

I remembered every moment that followed despite how ethereal it seemed. Some things were tinged by a desire to better know what Allison was feeling, wondering if it all would be nicer if I slipped that device on and let Corlie in on the fun. I proposed this idea to Allison. She pressed her head against my back and told me, “It’s up to you.”

Before that, I let Allison know me in all the ways I could offer and she let me feel the same. I hung onto each romantic note of our contact. It was wonderful. Like music. I offered up a quiet melody but, through Allison, an entire orchestra accompanied us.

When the composition drew to its conclusion, we allowed each other a final gasp of frantic feeling, like that other night, before the crescendo blasted and I really hoped that the walls were thick enough.

We clung together in bed, under the covers, our warmth touching without boundaries. To just press, skin to skin, felt casual compared to what we’d done. Smiling with a glossy shimmer across her cheeks and her hair matted in the sexiest way, Allison glanced across the room and gave a quick gasp followed by a giggle. 

When I asked her what was wrong, she answered, “I didn’t hide my plushies. Poor things are going to have so many questions later.” I joined in with a laugh and an apology to the room.

It felt so warm and pleasant under the covers with Allison. She gently stroked my hair like she had before. I kissed her softly between strokes. I loved Allison. I was so afraid that passing this threshold would break something or harm that love. It was all I’d known before: Mistakes and hurt. But it had been so perfect even though I’d been giving more pleasure than I took in.

We’d done everything together. We had passed every bridge. And yet the world hadn’t collapsed around me. I was happy in this moment, together with Allison. 

She asked me if I wanted to “change things up”. I glanced at the device. I could. But the composition of the two of us together had flowed so fluidly and concluded just how I wanted, that to go any further would just be repetition. I told her, “Next time, especially once I can clear some concerns about the devices.”

Allison nodded with understanding. After switching the covers to something fresh, we watched a theater piece together on Allison’s small but bright TV. Our hands stretched between one another from time to time but the action was over. 

After the viewing, it was getting late and there would be classes and work in the morning. Allison expressed giddy ideas about what she might be able to do in classes (but especially at work), but still swearing that while playful, she would be very careful about who saw her change. Ideas of partial and blended changes swirled about.

She showed me a shift close enough to her male self but girly enough to draw surprised glances. Watching her shift filled me with relief because she didn’t seem to have any lasting physical consequences as a man despite the fact it was just us and our bare skin.  

I kissed Allison no matter how he or she looked. Eventually, we unlocked the door and peered out to see if anyone was around. Clayton and Malcolm had settled in to watch an old action flick. Shifting back into full-girl mode, Allison blurted out, “WE HAD FANTASTIC SEX!”

So much for being covert. Clayton and Malcolm barely looked up from the movie and the response from Malcolm was, “Right.” Clayton nodded. Either they didn’t believe us or they believed Allison all too well. We shrugged as we slipped back down the hallway. We shared a shower but all the other stuff was over aside from a careful washing of Allison’s still-sensitive back and trying not to step on each other’s feet. We sang bits of music to each other. Allison knew quite a few by R.E.M. She had to switch back to her male voice for parts and she apologized for being “out of tune” but it was beautiful.

We decided to spend the night in Allison’s bedroom. I cuddled up to her under the sheets, my front to her back. She clutched my hands and we both drifted off to sleep. 

Sleep was not a transition but more like a click inside my head. With Allison, then I was somewhere else. It had to be a dream because I had a sense of myself with memories of Allison still there like phantoms. I was lying down, as though I’d been sleeping in the dream too.

The walls were quite nice. I could discern vivid, lavender details and ornamentation on them. There was a street nearby. I could hear the cars. Maybe some sort of train as well? Too hard to sense. Looking down, I could tell I was me, or as close as I could figure. I couldn’t move but I wasn’t restrained. I just couldn’t move. 

Perhaps this was one of those night terror dreams where I was half-awake. I remembered a dream I had where I thought I was still on a couch and it was like my voice was so tiny nothing came out. 

The place I lay was fancy and it shifted beneath me like ripples on the sea. I waited for something to happen. Eventually, I heard words, muffled and loud, ripple around like sounds from the old PA system at school. This was followed by a voice from somewhere I didn’t know, maybe inside my head, which said, “Sleep.”

*****

I slipped my shirt off from last night and put on the new shirt from my dresser. It was one of my favorites. I put down the collar and sighed before cracking my neck. I glanced at my bed. 

My phone was on there with the back removed and the battery pulled out. I frowned. I had to have pulled it out. But, for some reason, I couldn’t remember when I’d done that. Probably last night. I flexed my hands a few times. Some sort of muscle memory. I’d done it. Weird. I was probably still out of it from waking up not long ago. 

But yeah, I’d woken up. In Allison’s bed. I had to be out of it. I didn’t remember getting up. I’d gotten good sleep though. But then my uncle always had trouble waking me up when I first lived with him. An uninterrupted night without fear? I could’ve slept an entire day. 

Trying to shake the sleepiness from my thoughts, I put on the rest of my clothes and made my way into the hallway. Allison was out of her room and already in the kitchen. She had some things ready. I smiled at her and gave her a kiss on the forehead. 

Then she asked me, “So, what did you decide on?” She kept her spatula raised in the air and added, “Remember, exclusivity…” 

Only I didn’t remember. It was fairly easy to guess she meant breakfast. I told her to surprise me but to focus on “something like French toast.” She nodded quickly and went to work. 

The lingering drowsiness had sapped the beginning of my morning. I relayed this to Allison and she noted, “You seemed alert a few minutes ago. Aww…did you get tired out from everything last night?” I blushed and she told me that she’d asked about my dreams. 

I reflected. There were no dreams I could remember. She said I’d told her that when I woke up. I had no recollection of that conversation. I rubbed my eyes. Thinking hard about it didn’t help. At least today would be an easy day. Once I put my phone back together, I could call Uncle Nolan and talk about a few things. I was sure he would be supportive. And then the paper was coming up. 

I didn’t feel eager for it. I wanted to grab the nearest Kinrae and tell them to give me a straight answer about what they were up to. Of course, so did everyone. A single class felt small by comparison. I remembered that old sci-fi movie where the guy yells, “They’re already here! You’re next!” in the middle of a street. And Allison remembered the name of it. 

I stretched. I could go that route. There were definitely enough worrisome things. Hopefully my weird blackout this morning wasn’t one of them. Fortunately, it was fading. More and more I could see Allison asking me about breakfast. I could see myself going to my room and the phone. I could imagine that it had locked up and I pulled the battery but I was less sure about that.

I resolved not to bother Allison with it. She looked so happy as she went about breakfast that I didn’t want to bother her. So my options were really limited. Don’t use the device too much. Still check out this Naltra which Tessa recommended but with care. 

I could also drop the class. It did fulfill core curriculum requirements but I could always take other classes. If I did that, then I’d need to convince Lissa to drop too. Then there were the people who were still enrolled as well as those who may have taken it when it was offered before. 

If I didn’t have solid evidence that something fishy was up then there was nothing I could do. I was also conflicted because I wanted to believe there wasn’t anything nefarious at play, like Tessa’s joking admission of invasion. But there were just so many weird things she’d said to me that she had to answer for. 

Breakfast was good. Allison watched me eat and I gave her top marks on everything. She lingered as I finished but soon got to work on food for herself and the others. I took some time to retrieve my device and pick over it. I considered opening it up to see if there were any obvious bugs but I doubted the internal technology would show anything like that, especially since scientists had been picking over them for years. And if I messed something up then I’d have a lot to explain to the college. 

I did take some time to address concerns and abnormalities to my professor by email. I didn’t give any specifics but I figured that would be enough to get her attention. I found that Uncle Nolan responded with joy to my pictures and had sent a few of himself cooking at some event in return. I looked at the pictures I had sent him and my happy, blue-haired form. I glared at the device and the controller.

Swiftly, I put the device on and pulled up my save. I stood there as Corlie but with a sour expression. I spoke softly but to the room, “Is this what you want? Do you want to convert and conquer? Do you want to mess with me? Are you listening right now? Tessa…I’ve had enough of your bullshit coming and going. If you’re me then say so…if you’re just trying to manipulate me then I want to know.”

I didn’t expect an answer, especially so quickly.

“I’m sorry…”

I jerked my head. Tessa sat on my bed with her legs crossed. Before she could say anything else, I announced, “They say the Kinrae can’t transport themselves inside of buildings because of dangers, the spin of the Earth, and other bullshit...apparently.” I could call for Allison and she could hand Tessa her ass with a frying pan. 

Tessa lifted her head. Her eyes had a still, calm quality my mother’s never had as she responded, “We lie.”

I clenched my colorful fists and asked, “Why? What do you want?”

Her eyes lingered on me as she said, “We’re afraid. Sometimes with good cause. As for what we want, it’s as varied as what any group of your kind wants.”

I put a finger in her face. It seemed she was expecting that. She answered, “I want you to be at peace.”

I snapped, “Well, you fucked that up. Popping up and leaving me afraid and full of confusion and half-answers.”

She leaned back and said, “That was my intent.”

I shook my head with a glare as I parsed, “You want me at peace and war with myself at the same time? Is this a game to you? What is wrong with you?! Are you my mother? Are you actually that horrible scum jumping across universes just to hurt me one last fucking time?!”

She took a long breath before saying, “I’m sorry for how you feel now. But I also hope you’ll understand this isn’t a game. This is a process and it’s unfortunate you had to deal with such an intrusion by me, like this. If it was up to me then we’d never meet. But there’s nothing to be done about that now.”

I wanted to slap her. I wanted to scream at her but at the same time her passivity, for one quick instant, reminded me of how I faced my mother’s anger. I relaxed and her eyes met mine. With a deep breath, I said, “I don’t understand what you’re dancing around. And you didn’t answer about my mother. But I have one question above all for you…what is happening to Allison and why?”

She took a deep breath too and answered, “Some things I can’t answer. But about Allison, what’s happening is something beautiful. She sought to change herself. She made the choice.”

That sounded a little like what Allison had proposed to Malcolm, believing something. “So if I wanted to do it too then I’d be able to?”

Tessa rubbed her arms and noted, “Unlikely. But then it’s not my place to say what your fate will be. We are prepared though, if you want to make the choice.”

I clenched my jaw. I wasn’t sure how much of this I believed but there was a different sense about Tessa this time, if this really was Tessa, which had none of her playful, flippant nature of before.

I told her, “Okay. I choose to move back and forth between male and female like Allison. Maybe even between me and a Kinrae form.” 

She held her hands out and told me, “Go for it.”

I flicked off the device. The delay followed, about the same, then I returned to my normal form. I stared at my hands. They were the same as always.

I looked at Tessa. She leaned against my wall and glanced up at my posters, noting, “You have so many of them. You must imagine being them, with all sorts of forms. But do you really want that, Sean? The answer is yes and no. And that’s the problem. You’re torn and you’re afraid.”

I snapped, “You don’t know me. Even if you’re some kind of alternate version of me, you are NOT me.” I hissed with restraint because I could hear footsteps around the door. 

Tessa shrugged. “I leave you to decide who or what I am from what I’ve said and what you choose to believe. But your past is such a jagged scar throughout your entire being. I visited you in the park because I thought you might be ready to take a new step in your life, a painful step.”

I clenched my teeth, about ready to argue with her more. But I relaxed. She leaned forward a little. Maybe that was it. Some sort of test. If I got over all the things that bothered me then I might be ready for….something. I proposed this to Tessa, finishing it off, “So if I heal myself, then I can transform?”

She wore a tolerant look as she said, “You need to wake up to your own choice. And you need to remember that you are not alone. To say anything more would be harmful. I’ll be going now. I assume you have many more questions. Save them for your trip to our special place to the south. I can reassure you that we are not watching you. And I will offer one more thing…”

She gave a faint look of amusement more typical for her. I braced myself and asked her what that one more thing was.

She set a finger near her chin-line and said, “Well, it’s actually two things which are both a little inverted. First, everyone compares us to Japanese animation. I find that particularly amusing because it should be the other way around. Some of our earliest explorers settled and introduced art which resembled our forms.”

I tried not to get lightheaded. She gave a slight expression which looked apologetic as I asked her, “So you’re implying that there have been Kinrae on Earth before nine years ago…for much longer?”

She dipped her head and noted, “That is one way to interpret my words. Second, you mentioned the name ‘Kinrae’. I wasn’t there when the word first spread from us to the lexicon of this world. But I’ve always found it rather funny…the word ‘Kinrae’ is not a term for us. It’s what we call all of you. You are the Kinrae.”

I could tell she was inviting the obvious next question. Neither bit of information she gave me was beyond the speculations of countless people before me. Some thought the ‘Kinrae’ had always been around. And some also thought the name for them may have been an error in translation but it was an easy way to distinguish them from us.

Eventually, I posed that question and asked her, “So what is the word for you? What is the real name you all use for your kind?”

She bowed her head and told me, “That’s a question I’ll leave for a time when you’ll be able to answer it yourself. However, go ahead and continue to use the name for us, if you like. That’s a choice we wouldn’t want to intrude upon. Now…if you’ll excuse me…I want to apologize to Allison before I leave.”

I would’ve preferred if she just exited the way she came but I opened the door for her and followed her into the kitchen, where Allison still stood. She brought up her frying pan to hold between her and Tessa. She noticed me as Corlie and pouted as she said, “We could’ve had so much fun last night. Oh well…and you… What say you?”

Tessa bowed and offered an apology. Allison looked her over and remarked, “Don’t be a creepy stalker to my cutie!”

Again, Tessa sought forgiveness, elaborating, “I promise we will leave your cutie to whatever choice he makes.”

Allison leaned her head and asked, “What are his choices?” Allison bent forward. Tessa pondered a moment, glancing back to Allison’s harsh stare before saying, “He wouldn’t like it if I say because then I would limit his choices or possibly destroy them. His choices are as varied as the countless existences out there. It may seem like I’m at odds with both of you but I’m not. I want things to turn out for the best. It sucks I have to be a cryptic weirdo. I hope that by the end you won’t feel so poorly about me…” She looked back to me with a grimace.

Tapping a finger on her lips, Allison smiled slightly as she said, “It’s okay. I just get one good clonk and we’re square.” She tapped her frying pan for emphasis as she balanced it on one finger.

Tessa gave a nervous look, then offered, “How about I tell you why you have such surprising strength and mass?” I widened my gaze. I’d noticed that about Allison. 

Allison raised an eyebrow and replied, “You’d only know that from tracking us when we have the devices on….stalker…You mind if I guess before you tell me?”

Spreading out her hands, Tessa told her, “Go for it.”

Pacing, Allison scrubbed a dish or two at the same time. 

“Well, my brothers…who I need to call and totally mess with to tell them they now have a…half-sister…have pushed me to be strong but I doubt that’s the whole thing. I’ve noticed it but it’s been fun. Like watching Sean try to romantically carry me to bed…and being able to impress him with what I can haul.”

Tessa and I listened as Allison mulled all that. I watched Tessa’s expression. I didn’t notice a reaction from her. When she was ready and the dishes were washed, Allison announced, “It’s also not because of the devices. Not entirely. Because I’ve kinda had it before but it’s been getting more pronounced, so that it seems like I’m a recently-traveled Kinrae. If that’s not just a complete myth…” She gave Tessa a look.

With a soft sigh, Tessa answered, “Believe me or don't, but the mass issue is indeed from travel between universes, as has been said.”

Allison took this into consideration. I had no clue where Clayton or Malcolm were but they didn’t seem to be around. Good, one less need to explain. 

I could imagine Allison with a deerstalker hat on her head and a bubble pipe in her mouth as she sleuthed out the answer. She rubbed at her soft chin and then finally concluded by pointing her finger, proclaiming, “I have it!”

She announced, “It’s entirely simple when you use deduction. You see, if we can assume Kinrae change mass by traveling between universes, a process which may even amplify their strength…then we must assume I am somehow traveling between universes too. And the only way I can do that is in my mind through my dreams!”

I watched a genuine look of shock form on Tessa’s face. She blinked and said, “That’s essentially correct.”

Allison clapped her hands and said, “Yay! That’s a good kind of correct.”

I had to follow-up by asking, “Plenty of people have dreams about other universes though and I’ve never heard of shifting masses and strength.”

Tessa offered, “The number of dream crossings and other factors figure in to this kind of side-effect.” Allison gave her a look and Tessa added, “Allison is special. Her mind dwells in beautiful possibilities and I don’t just know that from observations.”

I reflected on Tessa’s implication that she was an alternate version of me who knew an alternate version of Allison. Allison put this very question into sharper words but Tessa sealed her lips, offering only, “I’ve said as much about that as I can, I’m afraid.” She turned to leave but Allison held her. They were fairly-matched in mass. Allison pouted and said, “You need to have some of my food…so I can lace it with truth serum!”

Her gaze softened. “Nothing would make me happier but I need to take a rain check. I have a busy remainder of the day.” Still, Allison threw a chocolate muffin at Tessa and she accepted it.

I walked Tessa to the front door. I hadn’t thought to check her hands for watermarks. I didn’t know if I cared anymore. This could be Tessa or it could be another ‘Kinrae’ or anyone filling her role. I didn’t bother asking her but I did ask, “So, what comes next?”

She folded her arms and told me, “Two things must come eventually. First, you must visit Naltra and what’s called Kinraetown to the south. I’ve told you that and you know it. If you choose not to go then things will take a different track with a different set of choices. Either way, it all leads to the Black Willow County Psychiatric Facility and the North Brookville Hospice.” 

I took a breath and told her, point-blank, “Neither place is any business of yours.”

She nodded. “You’re right. They’re not. But they are your business and this is something you will have to deal with eventually. Your parents cast a shadow on your life. It is fading but the rest is up to you. Farewell and good luck.” I didn’t beg her to linger. I didn’t yell after her. I just took a breath as she slipped out of sight.

And I let Tessa go. She’d given me words but I had no idea if these new words meant anything to me. She’d suggested so much. She’d given a few things concretely but, as she said, it was up to me…so far as whether I trusted her sincerity. 

I would go back inside and, once Malcolm and Clayton had left for the day, pass along to Allison the two big implications Tessa had left me with. 

To anime girls hiding among us for longer than we thought, she said, “History Channel is going to need to make a new special.” I snickered.

For the other, she spent a long time pondering what their real name could be.

“Colorizers. Travelers. Watchers. Something with Japanese letters. Seans!...Because every single one of them is you from a future timeline! Even the ones who are me. Yeah, they’re all Lissa, QBC, me and you…But then we all are alternate versions of you who got shot into alternate universes like Superman but no exploding planet…Instead, an exploding universe. We are now tasked with tracking down all the other versions of ourselves and keeping them from blowing up their home universes from the power of their minds to rewrite reality. Oh yeah and actually…Everyone in this universe…We’re really the four versions of you altered by time and everything. Like that…zombies?...short story by that sci-fi writer I had to read for a class. That was a trip. But yeah…it’s all that…and one more eerie thing which…I dunno.”

I raised an eyebrow. Allison snickered and folded her arms on the table. I told her, “You just blew my mind, girl.” 

She leaned closer and said, “Well, girlfriend, I can do even more than that, especially since we have the house all to ourselves till I have class and work…that’s if you don’t mind staying Corlie for a little longer.”

I gave her my answer as a warm, tender kiss on the lips.